m Chapter
Aryana McRae
Why; the word turned over and over in the confines of my mind. Why was I here at this stranger’s house? Why was this girl, this ludicrously ignorant child, in the forest alone with him? Did she not know the danger? Why did they look at each other with pure adoration and admonishment? In all my existence, I had never sensed anything like this. Moreover, what was this feeling that I had; it was as if I was drawn there by some unseen force. What was the secret? What was the missing link here? Just what did I expect to find? Ha, I laughed to myself, now I am trespassing to the realm of “what.” I shook my head. My family and I had been in the territory for only a few hours and I was already having complications. I wished we could have remained in Sudbury. Ontario had really grown on me in so many ways. I love the snow; I detested the rain. I had always been attracted to the snow. I believe one could say that I ‘blend in’ well. According to some, however, we had disappeared for far too long; our ‘family business’ had begun to fail. So here I was, in the rain, outside a strange dwelling in a strange area. What is the name of this place? I asked myself, bitterly, “Forks,” I whispered, very quietly.
The air picked up; I inhaled deeply and tasted the moisture filled wind. I rolled my eyes, annoyed. I turned and faced the blackness of the shadows.
“If you want to sneak up on someone,” I retorted, almost arrogantly, “try to be the one down wind.” There was a low growl from the brush in front of me, and shortly after, a slow but steady audible growl radiated from the darkness.
I understood it.
“And why didn’t you tell him?” I asked, laughing. It wasn’t typical to hear such disobedience.
A rustling of the leaves sounded as he made his way toward me. He stopped short and a short, breathy exhalation followed my question. Moments later, a slow and subtle growl exited the shadows. To any human, this would be threatening, but not to me. I listened closely to what he had to say, pretending to be deep in thought.
“No. I don’t think that will be necessary. Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary here.” I returned my focus to the small house in front of me; nothing too out of the ordinary anyway.
The next sound seemed to catch me off guard; it was a choking and gagging noise. He was laughing at me, even though it sounded like he was coughing up a bone, he was definitely laughing at me. Another growl slowly edged from the darkness, this one seemed more persistent; he was getting impatient.
“I don’t really know what I was looking for,” I said, gazing back at the house. “There’s something … different here. Something I can’t quite understand. She saw us. I know she did.”
With that, he fell into silence, not speaking, growling, or grumbling. I was beginning to believe he had returned home when I heard a distinct tearing noise. The sound was very similar to someone ripping at fabric or tearing cloth apart; this sound was incredibly strange. Well, it would only be strange to some; I was used to it. I was very knowledgeable of this sound. After a few short seconds, it ceased and was replaced by the sound of a firm voice, thick and dripping with accent.
“And if she did? What then?” His voice was serious and slightly demanding. “Will any believe her?”
“I don’t think that’s the question, my brother,” I said, mystified at my own thoughts.
“Pray tell, what would the question be?” The firmness in his voice was melting into a strong impatience now. I began to think his negativity was a result of being so close to this house.
“I don’t know just yet,” I said, turning back to face the shadow. “but, as for now, I think we should be on our way. The last thing we need is for him to send the search party. We don’t need that kind of attention, so soon.”
“Then let us be off,” he said as the leaves broke under his feet, but he stopped short and I heard a smug laugh leak out of his lips. “We really should hurry too. Don’t you need to register for school?”
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Charlie Swan: Chief of Police
My hands were shaking more than an earthquake in California. I tried to steady my breath but it was no use. The term “nervous” was not strong enough. This is crazy, I thought to myself, I should be able to have a normal conversation with my ex-wife, especially if it concerns ‘our’ daughter. Who was I kidding? I was never very good at these things, but damn it, I was beyond worried and had run out of options. Ever since that Cullen kid and his strange family had moved, Bella seemed like a total recluse. I was glad that the school had a couple days off; I didn’t think Bella would want to fall behind.
My hand shook harder as the answering machine kicked in …
Hi!” The machine said, enthusiastically, “you’ve reached Reneee and Phil! We can’t get to the phone right now, but leave a message and we will call you back!”
BEEP!
Here goes nothing!
“Umm … hi—hi Reneee, this is Charlie,” boy, did I sound pathetic. “I know th—this is kind of strange but … well … er, I don’t know exactly how to say this. Please call me back. It’s important. It’s about Bella. Something’s wrong.”
Click.
I hung up the phone.
“Well,” I straightened up, “that’s done.”
There was a heavy knock at the front door.
I heaved a sigh; I knew who was knocking. I quickly straightened myself up and headed to the front door. I reached for the door handle and twisted, the door opened, and there stood my visitor: Dr. Gerandy.
“Hello, Charlie,” he said, his voice seemed to match my mood. It was almost as though the depression was flowing all over the town now. I nodded and motioned for the doc to come inside. As he passed me, I glanced outside. Damn Washington weather, raining again.
“Doctor Gerandy,” I greeted him, and I led the way into the living room. We sat down and a moment of silence captured us. The doc finally spoke up.
“So, Charlie,” though he was sad, his voice seemed cheery, “why did you call me out doay?” He looked me up and down. “Are you sick?”
“No, Doc,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m worried about Bella.”
The doctor's face was immediately full of questions; I didn't know if I could answer them all. Part of me wasn't sure if I wanted to.
"Bella," Dr Gerandy's voice was immediately interested. It was just a few days ago that he had been summoned after she went missing, "What seems to be the trouble?" He glanced quickly around the room and took an inventory of everyone in it. "Um…Charlie, where is she?"
"Oh, Bella's upstairs," I answered; I was curious why he was looking at me so strangely.
"Well," the doctor said, starting to get up, "I should probably go up and see her."
The Doc going to see Bella; what if he scares her or what if she gets the wrong idea…
I immediately jumped up and held my hands toward him defensively.
"Whoa Doc," I said sternly, "I don't know if that's such a good idea."
Dr. Gerandy looked at me like I was the stupidest guy on the planet. Maybe I was, but I didn't want to scare Bella. She might think…well, I didn't know what she'd think, but I wanted to keep her as comfortable as possible.
"Charlie," Dr. Gerandy spoke very slowly, as if he were talking to a man with a grenade, "I have to see her to examine her; I have to examine her to diagnose her." I think the Doc's sarcasm was a little overkill.
"I'm not an idiot, Doc," I said gruffly, "I know you're trying to do your job. It's just that…Bella's in a fragile state and I don't want to make her nervous."
Dr. Gerandy's face spoke his understanding. "Well Charlie," he spoke, a bit humored, seriously "since I can't see the patient, will you at least tell me what's wrong?"
I breathed deeply and nodded my head; this was going to be the hardest part.
"Well doc," I said, slowly, "it's been three days since…since she got lost. There have been some changes since then."
The doctor seemed intrigued already; "go on" was all he said. I swallowed and felt my stomach begin the turn as the memories came to me.
"The change began the following day. I went in to check on her, in the morning, to make sure she wasn't sick or anything. Doc, I found her lying on her floor, eyes open, not moving. I was so worried, I thought she was dead, but I reached down and felt her heart beat and I heard her breathing. So I picked her up and put her in bed, thinking she'd get up later and move around. Maybe she just needed to sleep it off. I ran to work to pick up a few things and sign some papers. I was gone maybe 2 hours, I came home and, Doc, my house seemed like a ghost town; it hours, I came home and, Doc, my house seemed like a ghost town; it seemed empty, lifeless. I ran upstairs and there was Bella, just as I had left her, she hadn't moved one inch."
I breathed, and focused my thoughts. I rubbed the upper part of my nose.
The doctor just stared and said, "continue."
"Everyday it's the same thing; she's also stopped eating. I tried leaving food and water in her room but she won't touch it. She won't budge from that position. She just lies there, almost like she's dead. Doc, I don't know what to do." I put my head in my hands and I could almost feel the tears well up in my eyes. No, I thought to myself, I won't cry, I have to be strong for Bella. When I looked up again, I met the doctor's gaze.
"Charlie," he said calmly, "I need to see her. I won't examine her; I just need to look at her. I'll stand in the doorway, if it's more comfortable, but I must see Bella."
I looked at him and slowly nodded. I knew it was necessary, but I didn't know if it was a good idea. Every time I walked in her room, I felt like a small part of me died a little. The sight of my daughter laying there…well it didn't bring a smile to my face. We stood up at the same time and I started up the stairs. Although it seemed forever to me, we reached Bella's door relatively quickly.
"Charlie," Dr. Gerandy whispered to me, "if you could, try to talk to Bella. You know, address her and attempt to get her to talk to you. I need to get an assessment of her reactions."
I nodded again, not sure what he was talking about, and slowly opened the door. I might as well have been opening the door to a tomb. The room was dark, despite the windows; the dark clouds had completely blotted out the sky. Bella was just where I had left her. She lay on her side, covered in the blanket I had draped over her. I slowly walked to her, my heart falling deeper with every step; I glanced over my shoulder to make sure the Doc had made good on his promise. He had, he stood at the doorway, watching my every movement.
"Bella honey," I sat down next to her, slowly, "Bella, can you hear me?" No response. I brushed her hair off her face and tried again. "Bella, it's me, Dad. Its Charlie," I felt my voice quivering as the past memories washed over me. I remembered the very first time we brought her home from the
hospital; I had spoken those same words to her. "I wish you'd talk to me. I'll be downstairs if you need me."
I glanced at the Doctor, he simply nodded to me.
With that I lifted myself off the bed and retreated to the hallway. I glanced back at her and slowly shut her door. Doctor Gerandy was already on his way downstairs. I didn't know if I wanted to hear what he had to say; I felt so defeated, so helpless. I walked slowly to the living room and noticed the doctor was not sitting but pacing, not a good sign.
"Charlie," his voice seemed rushed as I came into view, "I'm afraid this is serious. I judged Bella's lack of response and her sluggish demeanor, given the past circumstances; she's exuding the classic symptoms of what's called a catatonic state. This is normally brought on by extreme depression, post traumatic stress, or Schizophrenia. I don't think you need depression, post traumatic stress, or Schizophrenia. I don't think you need to worry about the last one, though."
I stared out the windows, the rain had retreated to a slow drizzle; it would be just a mist by dinner time. At this moment, I couldn't help but imagine the face of the boy who did this to my daughter. My little girl. Didn't he have a heart or was he truly a soulless inhuman monster as Billy had described? I imagined all the things I could do to him, all the ways I could make him suffer for what he had done to my Bella. Dr. Gerandy grabbed my shoulder and shook me out of my fantasies.
"Charlie, did you hear me?" Dr. Gerandy stared at me intently; I think he was trying to see if I was losing it. He must have seen my blank stare, he sighed and said, "Charlie, you have two options; you can either get Bella into therapy as soon as possible or…consider the possibility of letting professionals step in."
At that moment my mind went red; in that moment Chief Swan disappeared and the big Papa bear took over.
"Therapy…professionals?" My voice rose drastically and I began to feel the blood rush to my face, "MY DAUGHTER IS NOT CRAZY! YOU WANT ME TO SEND HER TO PROFESSIONALS? WHY? SO THEY CAN LOCK HER UP AND THROW AWAY THE KEY? JUST ANOTHER CASTAWAY OF SOCIETY?"
I clenched my hands into tight fists as I glared at Dr. Gerandy. The thought of little Bella; my little angel in a padded room did more than offend me; it angered me to a dangerous level. Doctor Gerandy stared at me with wide-eyed shock.
"Charlie, please," he begged and attempted to calm me down, "you know I would never, ever wish something like this on Bella. I'm just giving you my opinion, as a doctor."
I was past reasoning and past understanding.
"IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW," I marched towards the man who wanted to lock away my baby, "THEN I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR OPINION."
Dr. Gerandy's mouth dropped open but he didn't contest my words. He quickly gathered his things and showed himself out, slamming the door behind him.
"The nerve of some people," I muttered angrily, as I sat on the couch; my heart was pounding hard. I turned the TV on; I needed to relax. The Seahawks were playing Dallas; this should help calm me down.
Suddenly the phone rang. Of course. I lifted myself up and headed to the phone, "hello?" I demanded, impatiently.
"Uh…um…hello Chief Swan," the boy's voice was obviously nervous; I must sound really angry.
"Who is this?" I demanded again; I just missed an interception at the 10 yard line this better be important, I thought angrily.
"Uh this is Mike…er…Newton, sir," he said. I took a deep breath and attempted to calm down. Mike had always been a good friend to Bella. He had helped make her first day at Forks High School bearable. His father had helped make her first day at Forks High School bearable. His father was also a pretty good friend of mine; I didn't care too much for him mother though, nosey gossip.
"Oh Mike," I said, my temper now retreating, "What can I do for you, son?"
"Well, uh…I was calling to speak to Bella." He said, still nervous. All right, I thought to myself, I'm calm now, why is the Newton kid still nervous? Maybe he was just nervous all the time; kids today…
"I'm sorry Mike," I said, apologetically, "she's not feeling well, do you want to leave her a message?"
"Oh, well I…and my parents, were wondering if she's still gonna work this weekend," he said, quickly.
I sighed deeply, I wish she was.
"I don't think so Mike," I said slowly, "she's really sick."
"Oh, I'm sorry 'bout that Charlie," he said sadly, "I really hope she gets better soon. Everyone misses her."
"Thanks Mike," I said, feeling a little warmer, "I'll let her know you called. Tell your parents hello for me."
"I will" he said, a bit more confidence in his tone, "thanks Chief Swan, goodbye."
We hung up and I sighed, I'm glad Bella has friends like Mike. She's gonna need her friends now, I thought to myself. I was starting to feel a bitbetter, a bit more positive, when the phone rang again.
"Hello?" I answered; my tone was calm and light.
"Charlie, listen, I really didn't…"
Dr. Gerandy's voice reignited the fire.
"DON'T EVER CALL HERE AGAIN!"
I slammed the phone down. I tried to slow my breathing; in and out, in and out.
The phone rang again. Oh for goodness sake!
"YEAH, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I demanded angrily at the unknown caller. The voice that followed almost gave me a heart attack.
"Charlie Swan! Just who do you think you are?" Reneee shouted at me through the phone. I was tongue tied, I tried to respond, but she cut me off. She always cut me off. "Do you think its right to ask someone to call and then yell at them the moment you answer? Do you?"
What do I say?
"…no." I muttered, the only reply that seemed accurate.
"No, it's not!" she angrily agreed with me. "Now will you please tell me what's going on? Why did you say something was wrong with Bella?"
I took a deep breath and began.
"Reneee," I said slowly, "something pretty bad has happened."
"Okay Charlie," she said, impatiently, "are you going to tell me what's going on, or did you just want me to call so you can yell at me?"
"Do you remember…Edward Cullen," I asked, feeling my anger rise when I uttered his name.
"Edward," she said thoughtfully, "that's Bella's boyfriend, right? He's the son of the doctor in Forks. They came to Phoenix back in the spring, when Bella had her accident; what about him?"
"Well," I said, slowly, "he broke up with Bella and him and his family left Forks for Los Angeles."
"Oh," Renee said, and her voice softened, "poor Bella. How is she? Wait, why are you tell me this Charlie? Where's Bella? Put her on." I sighed and hung my head at Renee's request. "Charlie? What are you waiting for? Let me talk to my daughter."
"Renee," I said, letting the sadness invade me fully. "There's something very wrong with Bella."
"I'm listening Charlie," she said, anxiously. I proceeded to tell her the entire story: Bella and Edward breaking up, the Quileute boys finding her in the forest, her current condition, and the opinions of Dr. ‘Jerk-andy,’ I mean Dr. Gerandy. "I don't know what to do," I said, "I feel so helpless."
Renee did not speak. I had started to wonder if the connection had been lost, when I heard her sigh in a heavy, angry tone. "I will not condemn my daughter to a mental institution." I knew I would not argue with her. We were on the same team here.
"What should we do?" I asked. I heard her inhale and sigh once again; I knew that sigh.
"I'll be up next week," she said in a firm tone, "you've done so wonderful Charlie. Really, I am sure I speak for Bella when I say you've exceeded our expectations. But it's my turn again; I'm coming to get my daughter."
My heart sank as I heard those words but we both agreed Bella needed to leave Forks; she needed to leave the state of Washington. We made arrangements for Renee to come down the following Monday. Though the idea was what was best, I couldn't help feel saddened by this decision. True, Bella would be in the sun and possibly get better, but I knew if she left I would never see her again. Unless I was to visit her in Florida, my angel wouldn't be here to look out for dad anymore. I would be all alone, again. I suppressed tears, forming in the corners of my eyes. No, I thought to myself, no this is what's best. This will help her heal.
The days following were not worse, but still bad. I didn't know if she was coming out it, or her body had just switched to a temporary autopilot, but she started a little bit at a time. I also saw her sitting in her chair, just staring out the window. I let her be and crossed my fingers, hoping she would snap out of it before Renee arrived. I didn't want to lose her; she brought a little sun in my life. But I had never had much luck.
Monday morning arrived and with it came Renee. She was much different than I last remembered her. She had grown out her hair and it seemed like she lost some weight. I guess that's what happens when you're like she lost some weight. I guess that's what happens when you're married to a jock, I thought bitterly. She was very sweet and nice, given the situation. I immediately took her upstairs to see Bella. Renee almost had a fit when she saw our daughter, still lying on the bed.
"Oh Bella, oh honey, I'm so sorry!" She sobbed and kissed Bella's forehead. She turned to me and we both shared the same acknowledgement, this was really happening, wasn't it? We both moved to her closet and retrieved her suitcases, the very ones she brought with her to Forks all those months ago. Renee began folding Bella's clothes and putting them in the suitcase, one at a time. I went to the bathroom and retrieved her toiletries. I winced when I had to grab her…girl products, that stuff always embarrassed me. I made my way, slowly, back to the bedroom and placed the bag near the suitcases.
"If I find anything else then I'll mail it to Jacksonville," I said, feeling awkward just standing there. Renee smiled at me, it was a sad smile. She handed me a slip of paper with their address on it. I took a deep breath; I would have to be the one to carry Bella to the car; my walk of shame.
A few minutes later Renee leaned back, "I think that's everything," she said. She stood up and turned to me. The look in her eyes almost mirrored my own. Renee opened her mouth to say something but was unexpectedly cut off. A very small voice, whispered something on the opposite side of the room.
"…no."
We both turned and were startled to see Bella sitting up and staring at us, glaring at us actually. She had anger and hate-filled eyes.
"Bella! You're-," Renee smiled, but was cut off. Bella jumped up angrily from the bed.
"What are you DOING?" she yelled.
Renee and I were speechless, bewildered. Neither of us had ever seen
Bella in such a rage, and it didn't stop.
"I WON'T DO IT! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME LEAVE! NO NO!" She screamed so loud I thought the windows had cracked. She proceeded to grab her hair and shake her head, screaming at the top of her lungs. Renee and I both had to cover our ears; where did Bella learn to scream like that?
"NO! NO! NO!" Before we could stop her, she snatched her suitcase from Renee and thrust it open. 'I WON'T LEAVE!" Bella reached in and grabbed a handful of clothes and threw them all over the room. When she had emptied the suitcase, she grabbed the second one and repeated her action. "YOU'LL NEVER MAKE ME LEAVE!"
She screamed at us, her voice wavering. She stood up and shook her head again, once again screaming at the top of her lungs. Suddenly, as if someone had hit a switch, her voice came to a halt and she was shaking uncontrollably. A split second later her knees buckled and she fell to the floor. She began to cry hysterically and beat her hands on the ground.
Occasionally I heard her babble something like, "…why would he do this to me? …gets to live
forever but not me…"
Renee dropped to her knees and wrapped her arms around Bella; their tears were mixing on the ground. I was forced to flee to the hallway; I shut the door behind me. I pushed my head to the wall and let the tears fall down my cheeks. I looked up and thought to myself thank you, thank you god. Thank you for giving me my little girl back. My daughter, my angel, was back…
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Author's Note: please forgive me if the formatting is off. Changing a pdf to a word doc is not easy.