"Since your emotions are a main factor, why don't we try to see what your triggers are. Some emotions are going to have different effects than others, for example, fear is a big one for you. We won't try out that emotion for obvious reasons, so let's practice something new," Bruce suggested, walking away from the computer screen. My hands were sweating and I tried to wipe the creases of my fingers on my pants. I was extra nervous because this was our first session. Bucky kept reassuring me before I came, singing to me softly and tracing a finger over the backs of my hands. Keeping that image in my mind maintained my sanity.
Bruce wandered to the corner and back, carrying a heavy cardboard box to the table. He reached in the box and set a plain white ceramic mug in front of me.
"I'm going to try to evoke different emotions in you, and then I will instruct you on what to do with the item in front of you. Are you ready?" he glanced up at me, raising an eyebrow.
I nodded and followed his eyes wander around the room.
"Close your eyes. Imagine that you are relaxing in bed and reading a good book, some hot chocolate in your hand," he started.
I thought about it in my head. I'd have my fuzziest socks on my feet, nuzzled in my giant duvet. I'd have my favorite teal mug filled to the brim setting on my nightstand. I would be able to smell the book in my hands, The Great Gatsby. No, Pride and Prejudice. I'd be reading Pride and Prejudice because I finished Gatsby again and now it was time to switch back.
"Lift the cup," he instructed, and I did so. "Now hold it there, yep, just like that. Just..like..that," he mumbled, clicking a pen over and over again. He tapped his foot against my chair repeatedly and chattered his teeth in a whimsical manner.
"What are you-"
"Shh. Keep your eyes closed and just focus on the cup," he ordered, tapping his fingernails against the counter while breathing incessantly loudly.
I gritted my teeth but tried hiding it the best I could. I pursed my lips in sync with the repeated hitting of his shoe against the leg of my chair. My face felt hot and my hands gripped the sides of my chair.
Suddenly, the noises stopped. I furrowed my brows and tried to peek one eye open. Bruce immediately caught me and told me to remain blinded.
"Good job. Now I want you to think about your parents."
My heart sank. Not only had I thought about them every night, but it took me forever to get them out of my head. Now Bruce wanted me to think about nothing but them.
They were probably worried to death about me. I had been missing for almost a week. Mom probably hadn't stopped crying, I got that trait from her unluckily. Dad might have stayed home from work to console her and help find me. My cat, Natalia, probably misses me too. She loved the smell of books as much as I did, which is why she always tried to sit on them when I was reading. Mom hated the cat because she was allergic, but Dad was extremely fond of her. Gosh, even the memory of Mom getting mad at Dad for bringing the cat home for me made me sad. I felt my eyes well, burning even more with my eyes closed.
A loud shattering noise exploded in my ears. My weepy eyes shot open and shards of ceramic material splattered across the table. Bruce shouted and I jumped in my seat. The sudden shock sent Bruce and my chair flying, with me on it. The chair tripped on its own legs and fell backwards to the floor. My back slammed against the ground with a hard thump, Bruce hitting the ground a split second after.
"Sadness and surprise, not your best emotions," Bruce laughed, helping me off the floor.
I giggled quietly and apologized for the accident.
"So, I have concluded that joy makes your powers the most efficient, and annoyance makes your powers shaky and unstable. You didn't notice it since your eyes were closed, but when I was peeving you off, the mug wouldn't stay still. Sadness broke the glass and surprise shot us back. All in all, I think this was a pretty successful session," Bruce gave a small smile and nodded.
I wiped my eyes quickly to try to hide the fact I was crying a second ago. I nodded, faked a smile, and left the room.