Just Friends

August 17th

     As far as birthdays go. Yesterday topped the list. The talk with Eleanor, and Ethan visiting were exactly what I needed. Obviously all the amazing gifts I received from Ethan weren't too bad either, they cheered me up a little. It's good that if I'm ever in need of any help or advice, I can talk to Stanley. Since he's been in my situation longer than me. Jasmine returns in three days. I'm super excited to see if anything happens between them. I hope something does. It'll give me hope that maybe one day Ethan and I will work out. It no longer feels strange when I picture Ethan and me as an item. Is that weird?
     Today we filmed Rachel witnessing the murder and running to the station like a mad man. We did ten takes, from different angles. I had to stand in the middle of the road and pretend to see someone be murdered, then set off sprinting down the road. A track was set up at the edge of the road for the camera to run along. The best way to describe it is that it looks like a tiny train track. The cameraman was sitting on a seat that was fixed beside the mount holding the camera. As I ran, it ran alongside me. It was very distracting because all I wanted to do was look at it. For a couple of takes the camera ran slightly in front of me for a different shot and then behind me for the same reason. They wouldn't let me put on some comfier shoes while running so my feet were in agony by the time we'd finished. I'm not the quickest or the fittest, but I was proud of myself at the end of it for not complaining about it once or asking for a break. When all the special effects are added and the takes of me laughing are cut out, this movie should actually be very good. I can't wait for the premiere! I'm eager to see how the world reacts to me. I hope they like me. Otherwise what I've been striving for all my life has been a complete waste of time and I'll have to find something else to do.