[Chapter 5]
My dream fades off little by little until I’m back where I started, in the closet. My body’s still heavy with sleep, unable to fully remember my reason for being here but when it passes there’s still no reason. No real reason at least. I rub my wrists, the sharp feeling of my dad’s rough hands holding me. I open my eyes where I see a small stream of light splitting the room, along with myself, in half.
Shakily I collect myself and stand on numb legs. My hands shake when I reach out for the door, afraid that it will shut again just as I get my hopes up. I push my head through first to make sure I’m alone and when I realise I am the rest of my body seems to fly out, not being able to stay in that place a moment more.
I run a trembling hand down my face, unable to piece together reality from nightmare. My face is hot and sticky from sweat even though it’s colder than death. A light shines above my head, casting shadows on the ground at my feet, looking behind me is the door I just escaped from however there’s now a boy standing there.
He has wide dark frantic eyes, a rim around the base from lack of sleep and blotches of red, dried up tears trail down his face and a mop of dirty blonde hair stuck to his face with sweat. Sudden anger bubbles inside of me and I cry out in frustration, slamming my fist into the mirror. It breaks on impact, a million pieces of fall onto the clear wooden floor, just as my heart did when Mr Alister told me he was disappointed.
My eyes glass over with a fresh set of tears at the memory but I force them not to fall. Angrily I wipe them away with the back of my hand; I’ll give him something to be disappointed in.
~@~
I hold my phone in the palm of my hand, weighing the situation. In my mind I had decided to cancel the date with Byron but my body doesn’t agree. No matter how much I will them to, my fingers don’t type in the numbers and press call.
On a single burst of confidence my mind takes over and calls him before my body can process what I’m doing, somehow I’m happy about that. It’s already 7 o’clock, meaning he’s probably standing by his door waiting to be picked up when he’s phone rings. I can almost feel what he’s going to feel when I say I’m not coming, his stomach will sink and he’d feel stupid for even thinking I’d come… but that’s not the case. I’m not coming because I’m afraid, afraid that I’ll like him and that he’ll like me back, a thought that will be one sided and when I need him most he’ll back out to leave me there all alone.
After the third ring he answers, “Hello?” His voice is soft and unsure, like a child being scolded for no reason and they’re asking why.
“Hi, Byron, It’s me.” I say, “Reign.”
“Oh hi Reign, when are you coming?”
I lower my head in shame, “I’m not.” I force the words out.
He doesn’t say anything for a long minute and I’m afraid he’s going to hang up but he surprises me, “I thought so.”
“Listen,” It’s not you, it’s me. I want to say but there’s nothing I can say. Sorry doesn’t cut it this time.
“I get it,” He says and I can picture his lip quivering as he tries to hold back tears. “You changed your mind, it happens all the time.”
I shake my head even though he can’t see me, “It’s just not something I can do, not at the minute.” I say, “I have a lot going on right now…” I trail off, unsure of how it’s sounding to him.
“Bye Reign.” He says monotone.
“Goodbye.” Then there’s nothing but the static.
~@~
I shouldn’t have done that to Byron but it was worth it, I didn’t want to use him just to forget my problems. There’s other ways to do that. After I got off the phone I searched the house for mum and dad but they’d left yet again for another business meeting. This time however it didn’t hurt, part of me was glad they’d left so I didn’t have to eat dinner with my dad staring at me with judgemental eyes.
Running my hand along the rows I pull out bottle after bottle, placing them in a makeshift box by my feet. When there’s no room for any more I make my way up the stairs, box in hand. I have just enough so my dad won’t find out.
It’s a struggle getting up the stairs but once I’m on flat ground it’s the easiest thing in the world. Lifting it up a little higher I place it on the coffee table and turn on the music, putting it up as loud as I like. It blasts through the speakers around the room, drowning out every sound and threatening to break the glass windows.
I stand there listening for a few seconds before I take a bottle in my hand, ignoring the strange smell I bring it to my lips and drink. A thick liquid rushes down my throat and even though it’s cold it burns like a flame in my chest but I can’t bring myself to stop. Every time I swallow the liquid my body becomes lighter and my mind, foggier.
Every feeling and thought I’ve ever had mixes together until I can’t place any. A bottle and a half later relief washes over my body like a cold wave on the hottest day of summer. I stare blankly at the wall, unable to see and think clearly, the music playing on the edge of my mind.
Memories run through my head and across my eyes but unlike when I was trapped, with every drink they’re blown away. I smile as all the weight seems to lift from my shoulders. I dance alone, my body having a mind of its own now, always reaching for a new bottle but even if I was in my right mind I wouldn’t stop it. It’s a great feeling to finally have my body light, even if it is for one night.
My hand reaches for another bottle yet gets nothing but air. I stop moving and stare into the box, nothing remains, not a single bottle. I lift up the box to go get another load of drinks, It’s truly amazing how much my dad has.
[Mr Alister’s P.O.V]
I sit in my car, debating whether or not to go find Reign. What I said today about being disappointed was out of place and I need to apologize. I saw the way his head dropped and I couldn’t help but to feel that I’d broken him, or at least a part of him.
Even though I was disappointed that he attacked Tex I knew he wouldn’t have done it for nothing, he’s not stupid however something was strange about it, about the way he was talking. His words run through my mind,
“You don’t care about me.”
“I’ve never meant anything to you, so you won’t mean anything to me, not anymore.”
The way he said it makes me believe that he wasn’t talking to Tex, that he was seeing someone else.
I start the car and drive towards his house. I need to find out who he was talking to if he wasn’t seeing Tex. At least that’s what I tell myself, I don’t get why I need to keep fighting this feeling for Reign when I’m losing. I’m losing in a fight against myself, how ironic.
His house comes into sight and music blasts through my open windows, someone on the street must be having a party but as I near his house I realise it’s coming from there. Looking around though I don’t notice any other cars parked out front so he mustn’t be having a party, so why would he be playing music so loud?
Quickly I park the car and jump out. I lick my lips nervously and walk slowly towards the door. I ring the bell a few times but then realise that he’s not going to hear it and instead open the door and invite myself in. Closing the door I walk into the living room to find empty bottles of various alcohols scattered along the floor. Moments later Reign comes in holding a box of even more, he stumbles over his feet while muttering to himself and I’m afraid he’s going to fall but surprisingly he doesn’t.
He places the box down and looks up with a bottle in hand, only just noticing me standing by the door. His face turns sour and he storms up to me, spilling a watery substance down himself and on the floor but he doesn’t seem to care. He stops half a meter in front of me and pokes at my chest, hard.
I try not to wince but it’s not easy with how hard he’s pressing. “What are you doing here?” He slurs, words getting caught up in the others. His breath hits me in the face like a brick wall, exactly how much did he drink?
“I came to apologise,” I say, trying not to breathe in.
“I don’t need your sorry.” He says, turning away from me, “I don’t need anyone to say sorry, sorry doesn’t make anything better.”
He brings the bottle back up to his mouth and takes a huge mouthful before slumping on the couch. Cautiously I take a seat beside him. I want to reach out and comfort him but I’m afraid he’ll take it the wrong way and do something stupid.
Better get this over with, “Look, I know you said that sorry doesn’t account to anything but it’s better than nothing so, I’m sorry what I said to you earlier today. I’m not disappointed in you or anything you do.” He doesn’t say anything so I continue, “In fact nothing you do is without a reason so I’m not sure why I said any of that.”
I watch the side of his face, slowly running my eyes down his body. My eyes stop on the bruises that lay on his wrists. I snatch his elbow up and force his arm in front of me.
“Hey!” He yells, trying to pull away but I don’t release my grip and eventually he gives up.
“Who did this to you?” I demand, an anger I didn’t realise I had bubbling up.
He looks down at the bottle in hand and doesn’t meet my eyes.
“Who did this to you?” I ask again through clenched teeth.
“Why do you care?” He asks, finally meeting my eyes.
The anger vanishes when I look into his dark blue eyes. They’re glassy from tears and deep, like they hold a million secrets. Even though I know I shouldn’t I place a hand over his cheek. His eyes close and he leans into my touch, breathing deeply. For this moment I don’t care about the law, I don’t care what other people have to say about me… for once in my life I’m going to be selfish.
“I care because… I like you.” I say quietly but I know he hears me.
His eyes snap open and meet mine, he stares at me like he’s trying to peel back layer after layer and find out how I really feel.
“I like you too,” He says and the words cause my body to warm, “Like, really like you.”
I smile despite the situation, “I actually came here to ask you something.”
Reign pulls himself up, “What?”
“I know today at school you weren’t talking to Tex,” I pause, letting it sink in, “So who were you talking to?”
“My dad.” He says so surly.
“Why your dad?”
“Because my dad did this to me.” He says, holding up his arms. My eyes linger on the bruises there in the shape of fingers.
The anger rises again and I clench my hands together but I can’t make sense of it all. Why would his dad do something like that, I understand he must have been mad at Reign but that’s no reason to hurt him or anyone for that matter. “What did he do?” I ask, unsure if there’s more to it.
He opens his mouth but bites down on his tongue, shaking his head, “He just took hold of me and told me off for making him come home.”
Unclenching my hands I look around the living room, eyebrows pulled together, “Then where is he now?”
He shrugs and laughs coldly, taking another big sip from the bottle, “He could be anywhere by now.”
When he goes to take another drink I snatch it from his hand and place it on the coffee table, “Come on.” I sigh, getting to my feet. I hold out a hand for him to take but he gets up on his own.
“Where are we going?”
“Home.”
He looks around, confused, “I am home.”
I turn around to meet his eyes, “I meant my home.”
Reign stands still for a second before nodding, “Alright.”
“Get your bag, I’ll take you to school tomorrow.”
He leaves without a word and I leave the house and wait by my car. There’s still slight anger in me aimed towards his dad. It’s horrible how someone could do that to their own flesh and blood. The front door opens and Reign walks down the steps with a limp I only just notice.
Before he can pass me I put a hand against his chest to hold him there and get down on my knees. He doesn’t question me as I roll up the ends of his pants. On his knee is a dark purple bruise and deep cut. I look up at his pained stricken face.
How long has he had this and not told anyone? Was it hurting him while we were talking? Looking back at it now I realise he has had that slight pain in his expression but I assumed it was because of the topic we were talking about.
I roll his pants back down as gently as I can and stand back up. “How long have you had that?”
He pulls his lips together in thought before shrugging, “Not long, less than 24 hours.”
“I’m taking you to the hospital,” I say, getting in the car.
He stumbles around the car and falls into the seat before righting himself. He turns to look at me, “Please don’t.” He says.
“I have to otherwise it’ll get infected.” I start the car but don’t drive away; a soft song plays from the radio.
“Well then you clean it.” He says, “You can fix it up.”
I shake my head, “I don’t know how to.” I argue back, why won’t he just cooperate for once? “Why won’t you go to the hospital?”
He lowers his eyes, “Because they’ll ring my dad and he’ll have to come home again.”
I sigh loudly and relax the back of my head against the seat, looking up at the roof. “I’ll tell you what, my sister’s a doctor, I’ll give her a call and she’ll fix you up without having to call your parents,” I say, looking back at him, “What do you say, deal?”
His eyes skirt along the car for a minute before they meet mine, “Deal.”
~@~
We reach the hospital shortly after and I climb out but Reign sits there, staring into space. For a moment I forgot he’s drunk and probably ready to throw up any time soon. I open the car door and his head snaps towards me. From this close I can see how blood shot and red his eyes are but I can also see how blue they are, like the deepest part of the ocean.
“Come on.” I say, unbuckling his seat belt. “Let’s get you some help.”
He stares at me with wide, confused eyes, “I don’t want to go to the hospital.”
“Why not?” I ask, “We had a deal.”
He pulls me closer by my shirt and puts his lips to my ear, “They freak me out.”
I pull back and take his hand that hangs onto my shirt, “It’s going to be okay, I’ll be here and we’re only getting your knee looked at.”
His grip loosens and I pull it from my shirt and I pull it off. “It hurts.” He whines, clutching his knee. “It’s stinging really bad.”
I take him in my arms and carry him bridle style towards the big building, his face scrunches up in pain. He places his hand against my chest and zones out.
“I can feel your heart.” He whispers, looking me in the eyes. Removing his hand he replaces it with his head, ear against my chest. “I can hear it too.”
“That’s good.” I say, trying to get his mind off the pain, “Play out the beat for me.”
“Bump, Bump, Bump bump, bump, bump, bump bump.” He whispers, eyes closed.
I reach the front desk where a lady with grey hair and a warm smile sits. “I’d like to see Dr Alister.” I say to the lady when she looks up at me.
She looks me and Reign over, her eyes lingering on him for a few extra seconds before she thinks we’re worth helping and dials a number into the phone. “Sorry to bother you but there’s a man with a boy in his arms here looking for you.” She says some other stuff before placing the phone back on the hook.
The lady turns and addresses me, “If you’d like to take a seat she should be here in a few minutes.”
I nod my thanks and take a seat away from the other patients.
“Bump, Bump, Bump bump…” Reign continues and for the following minutes we sit here waiting I listen to nothing but his voice playing out the beat of my heart.
“Owen?” I soft familiar voice says.
I look up to meet my sister’s eyes. I get to my feet and smile at her, “Amy.”
She crosses her arms over her chest with a raised eyebrow, “What are you doing here?”
“I came here because Reign Carter hurt his knee and I’m afraid that it might be serious.”
She sighs and relaxes, her arms falling to her sides, “Follow me.”
I walk behind her in silence while Reign continues whispering to himself. “Where are we going?” I ask after a while.
If I could see her she’d be rolling her eyes at me, she may be a doctor and older than me but she’s still a baby on the inside. “To my office, obviously.”
Multiple turns later we reach a frosty glass door which she pulls and holds open. I walk in after her and place a calm Reign on the only bed in the far right corner but as soon as I pull away from him he freaks. What is up with this kid? I think in my head but I don’t question him and instead take his hand in mine and sit at the chair beside his bed.
He calms down again and relaxes on the bed. I smile slightly at him but he doesn’t smile back, a fearful look in his eyes. Something bad must have happened for him to be like this, the Reign I know is nothing but a trouble maker.
“So, what happened to him?” Amy asks, putting plastic clear gloves on over her hands.
I shake my head, “All I know is that he has a bruise and deep cut on his knee.”
She nods her head, taking a pair of scissors. “I’m going to have to cut the leg of his pants off.” She says, “What knee was it?”
“His left.” I say, not looking at her.
She walks closer with the scissors in hand and Reign’s eyes go wide and his grip tightens painfully. “Relax, Reign.” I tell him, “She’s only cutting your pants.”
“B-but I like these pants.” He whines with a pout.
I shake my head at Amy when she gives me a ‘what the hell’ look. “He’s a little out of it.”
She rolls her eyes, “More like drunk.” And she begins to cut his pants. “Where’d you find this guy anyway? He looks like someone from a fashion magazine.”
I ignore her for the moment and look down at Reign, she’s not lying. His black jeans, converse and tight white shirt that shows of his muscle clearly looks like it costs over $300 each, plus his dirty blonde hair falls over his forehead, making his blue eyes lighter than normal.
I shrug and turn to her, “I told you, he’s Reign Carter and he’s my student.”
She stops cutting and her mouth turns into an O. Turning towards me she waves the scissors slightly as she talks, “This is that boy you were telling me about, the one that you l-”
Holding my hand over her mouth I force her to stop whatever she was saying, I don’t need Reign thinking that I’ve told everyone that I like him.
She shrugs it off and pulls his pants leg off. “I didn’t believe you at first,” She turns and throws it in the trash, before observing the cut on his knee, “Now however I can see why you like him. He is rich isn’t he?”
I shrug, “I think so, I mean… he lives in a mansion.”
“That is so cool, I’m going to live in a mansion soon.”
I laugh loudly causing her to wack me on the shoulder hard, “Ouch that really hurt.” I say, sarcastically.
“Whatever.” She huffs, “You wait and see… I’ll show you.”
“Please, do.”
The room falls to silence, Amy being the one to finally break it. “Well his knee in general is fine, the cut however will need stitches for 2 weeks and the swelling will take a while to go down but he won’t be allowed to run until it’s healed properly.”
“So, 2 weeks?”
She nods. “At the most.” She busies herself with getting everything ready. When Reign isn’t looking she takes his arm and injects him with a needle, he doesn’t even blink. “That’s just to numb the pain but I doubt he’d need it.”
In silence I watch as she cleans his knee and sews it back up. The only thing left being the stitches and bruise. “There you go, he should be fine.” She says.
“Is that all?” I ask.
She nods and puts everything away. “If he’s in pain just give him some Panadol and tell him to rest.”
I sweep her up into my arms, “Thanks sis, you’re the best.”
“Alright you can let me down now,” She pushes at my chest until I release her.
Just as her feet touch the ground there’s shuffling before a horribly familiar sound and a groan. I turn around just as Reign leans back into the bed with a remorseful look on his face, “I’m sorry.” He says.
Amy looks like she’s just about to blow as she makes a discussed face at the mess on the floor. “I’m so not cleaning that up,” I say, walking around and pulling Reign into my arms.
“What?!” She screams. “You can’t just leave this to me!”
“Watch me.” I laugh as I leave the room. “I’ll pay at the office.”
When I reach the office I pull out my wallet and a $50 note, placing it on the desk. “Please give this to Dr Alister when you see her, thank you.” I say, leaving before she can ask or say anything.
I’m nearly at the car when Reign leans over and throws up again. I pause and clear my throat before looking down at my now dirty shoes and pants. The worst thing however is when he turns around and wipes his mouth on my shirt. “Reign.” I groan.
“Sorry.” He says with a laugh.
I start to roll my eyes but stop midway, I am not going to turn into my sister, “No you’re not.”
Again he laughs, “You’re right, I’m not.”
I huff and unlock my car before placing him in the passenger’s seat. Walking around the car I strip from my shoes and jump in the car, throwing them onto the back seat floor.
The drive home is in silence and I’m hoping that Reign will go to sleep now so I can just put him straight to bed but he doesn’t even close his eyes. We reach my house and again I carry Reign in who seems to like it a little too much.
I place him down on my bed as I search for some new clothes. I only have my back facing him for a second yet when I turn back around he has my bed mattress lifted up and he’s trying to climb under it. “Reign!” I yell and pull him back.
He jumps and falls to the carpeted floor while the mattress bangs down loudly on the bed frame. “What?” He pouts.
“What were you doing?” I ask, not sure if I want to know the answer.
“I was trying to be a turtle.” He laughs.
“Well just be a turtle sitting on the bed instead of under.”
“But that was my shell.”
“Well now your shirt is your shell.” I say, helping him up and sitting him back on the bed.
He pouts and crosses his arms over his chest but doesn’t move. Once I’m sure that he’s not going to move again I turn back around but a second later I turn back around with sweats in hand and he’s sitting on my bed shirtless.
I groan, “Where’s your shirt?”
He shrugs with a half-smile playing on his lips, a small dimple on his cheek. “What shirt?”
“Exactly, ‘what shirt?’” I say, slightly frustrated. Who knew a drunk teenager could be so hard to look after? And seriously, where did he put his shirt? I run a hand down my face, I’m too tired to do this. Looking at the clock I notice it’s nearly midnight. “Let’s get you to bed.” I say.
I remove his shoes and without asking, his pants, well… half pants. “Lay down.”
He does as told and lies down on top of my bed. I pull the blanket over his body and he doesn’t move an inch. “Aren’t you going to read me a bed time story?” He asks.
I glare at him and back away. “No, I’m going to have a shower and you’re going to lie here and go to sleep.” I say, pointing an accusing finger at him.
He nods, “Okay.”
My glare is swapped with a confused look, that was easier than I thought. Happily I leave and turn off the light as I go. I walk into the bathroom and strip off my dirty clothes. Once the temperature is right I stand under it with my eyes closed and just enjoy the warm water running over my skin.
Blindly I collect shampoo in the palm of my hand and lather it into my hair, massaging it into my scalp. Reign comes up in my mind and my eyes snap open, I can’t let that happen. However just as I’m saying that the door swings open and a laughing Reign walks in. I try my best to cover myself up but it doesn’t work on my part.
“What are you doing?” I ask, shocked and confused.
He smiles brightly and walks towards me, with every step he comes closer my heart beat rises. “You shouldn’t try to hide your body.” He says, “It’s beautiful.”
I bite my lip as he walks into the shower with me, not even bothering to remove his boxers. His dirty blonde hair falls over his eyes as it becomes damp with water. I can’t stop my eyes from running with the water, over his face, chest, stomach and disappearing beneath his boxers. I swallow and meet his now shining light blue eyes. How does his eyes change colour like that?
He stands between me and the shower exit, pinning my back to the cold tiled wall.
He leans close to me, looking me in the eyes, “I really do like you Mr Alister.”
I attempt to push him back but instead he grabs my arms and wraps them around his back. I stand there frozen, a boy I hardly know in the shower with me.
He leans even closer, his breath hitting me in the face but this time it doesn’t hold the smell of alcohol. Alcohol. Just as he’s about to break the distance between us I come to my senses and quickly move my head to the side. Instead of kissing my lips he instead kisses my cheek and even though I’m confused and cold I can’t ignore the feeling that rolls over my body.
“I can’t do this Reign.” I say, not meeting his eyes.
“But you said you liked me.” He says, a begging tone leaking into his voice.
I sigh, “I do like you, but you’re drunk.” I say.
“So?”
“You won’t remember any of this in the morning.”