2 Years Later
"To Benedict! Made Top Seller's List in the first forty-eight hours of releasing his book, still more popular than he was when he was Prime Minister!" The crowd around a bashful Carlton laughed. "Congrats, Ben. You deserve this."
Everyone cheered and patted him on the back, before taking a sip of their champagne. Carlton did the same with a smile on his face. His editor, Steven, came up to him and gave him a big hug. "You did it! How does it feel to be a number one selling author?"
Carlton laughed and said, "Well, it took long enough, didn't it? No, it feels great. Weird, but great. Thank you, I know it was a tough one to pull." Steven waved him off and said, "Nah, it wasn't that bad. Just wish I could have got it published sooner, but with the business and paperwork...eh, what does it matter? You're here now!"
"Daddy?" Carlton and Steven quickly turned around. "Dani, what are you doing up?" Carlton asked. He set down his champagne on the table and picked her up. "It's too loud," she whined. He kissed her head and said, "I'm sorry, Pumpkin, we'll keep it down. Go on back to bed."
He was about to set her down, but she held on to his neck and said, "Come with me." He sighed and looked around at all his guests. Nobody would notice him being gone for a few minutes. "Alright, let's go," he said, as he walked them up the stairs and into her room.
He gently set her down in bed, then sat next to her after pulling the blanket up. "Why are they here, daddy?" She asked. He brushed his hand down her hair and said, "Because I wrote a book and people think it's really good. They wanted to show me how happy they are for me."
She smiled and said, "I'm happy for you." Chuckling, he leaned down and kissed her head. "I love you, baby girl," he said. "Try and go to sleep and maybe I'll make waffles for breakfast." Her eyes lit up at that, making him laugh.
"Okay, daddy," she said. "I love you." He kissed her cheek, then went to turn off her bedside lamp, when she said, "Wait! Say goodnight to mommy." She opened her locket that Carlton had gotten her last year. It had a picture of Cassie and Dani after Dani was just born.
Carlton smiled and kissed the picture in the locket. "Night, Hansen," he said. "I love you." Dani smiled and closed the locket, before tucking it back into her shirt. "Daddy, I want a picture of you, too."
He looked at her oddly and asked, "Why?" She put her hand where the locket was resting and said, "So we can be a family." Carlton sighed and took her hands. "Baby, we are a family. Your mummy, she will always be in our family. She didn't want to leave you or me, but she had no choice."
"Why?" She asked. He didn't want to get into this right now, especially tonight. She's still learning about Cassie, but never asked about why she was gone or how. That was, until now.
She continued, "Everyone else's mommy is here. Why isn't mine?" This was breaking his heart. With a loud sigh, he told her, "Tell you what...let me get everyone to go home, and then I'll come up here and tell you whatever you want about mummy. Okay?"
She nodded and said, "Okay, daddy." He gave her a quick smile, then went downstairs. It was about time this party ended anyways, as it had been going on for hours. Now he had an excuse to make everyone leave.
"I'm afraid Dani isn't feeling well," he told Steven and everyone else who asked why the party was ending so abruptly. About thirty minutes later, the last person left and he was left with a large, empty, messy house.
After making sure everything was locked up, he went upstairs and was surprised to find Dani still awake. "Give me one more minute," he told her and smiled when she started counting down from sixty.
He went into his room and shed off his tie and blazer and got into his pajamas. He walked into Dani's room as she was counting down from five. She scooted over in her bed and he got down in next to her. "Alright," he sighed, "anything you want to know...ask away."
She didn't hesitate before asking, "Why did mommy have to leave?" He pulled her close to him and asked, "Why do you think we visit her at the cemetery everyday?" She shyly shrugged, then said, "Annie says that's where she sees her grandpa."
Annie was her best friend in Kindergarten. Carlton took a deep breath and told her, "The cemetery is where people get buried after they die." She let out a soft "oh" as her tiny brain was trying to register this. It then suddenly seemed to hit her.
"Daddy...mommy's dead?" She asked. He nodded and said, "Yeah, baby, she is." He knew she would have trouble figuring this out. She was only five years old. When she went to the cemetery with him, she was only repeating what he said about missing her because all she knew was that Cassie was gone, but didn't know why or how.
She started tearing up as she asked, "Why?" Carlton wiped a stray tear of his own. "She got very sick," he gently explained. "The doctors tried to help her feel better, but...she was just too ill. She wanted to stay with us and be a family and she tried so hard. That's something I want you to understand. She fought so hard to stay with us."
He wiped the tears from her cheeks and said, "She adored you. She loved you so much, Dan, she was so proud of you. You were her entire world and she just revolved around you. I don't think she ever loved me the way she loved you and I don't blame her."
Dani looked up at him with her big blue and tear filled eyes. "She's never coming back?" She asked. Carlton let a few tears slip past him as he told her, "No." She immediately started sobbing into his chest as he held her tight.
He always knew this conversation would come, whether she would figure it out on her own or not. He imagined it being heart breaking no matter what, but to actually feel his heart break from this was a pain he could never describe.
"Look at me, Dani," he said, gently bringing her head up to look at him. He wiped her tears and nose with his hands, then said, "There are so many things about her you need to know. I can't wait to tell you every last detail about how strong and amazing she was. You can ask Uncle Johnny questions about her, too. But, baby, don't be sad that she's gone because she will always be with you. I feel her everyday right here."
He put his finger where his heart is. Dani put her finger where her heart is. "That's right," he said, "I feel her in my heart. She's in your's, too. She's in your heart, in the car when I drop you off at school, watching your school plays. She will always be here with you."
She nodded, then asked, "Is she here right now?" He put his finger where her heart is and said, "Always." She sniffled and looked like she was about to cry again. "Do you miss her, daddy?" She asked.
Carlton let out a shaky breath and told her, "Not a day passes where I don't think about her. I just miss her more and more as each day goes on. And you know what? You look so much like her." He grazed his thumb down her nose and under her eyes.
"Your nose, your eyes...everything about her, I see in you. That's why I know you're not going to have any trouble getting what you want in life because she got everything she asked for. She had to work hard for it and she had to sacrifice some things, but she got it."
Dani smiled and blushed. After a few minutes of making sure tears were completely gone, he asked, "Anymore questions?" She nodded, then asked, "Did she talk like you?" He let out a bellowing laugh and said, "No, she didn't have an accent. Well, she did, but to me. She was born here in Washington, just like you."
"What was her favorite color?" Carlton looked up to the ceiling as he answered, "Red." Dani asked question after question, until she fell asleep in the middle of asking what Cassie's favorite Barbie doll was. "I don't think she had one, love," he quietly answered, as he gently tucked her in.
He kissed her head and smoothed down her hair as she let out soft snores. He smiled softly down at her, then turned off the light. He left the door slightly open, then went into his bedroom and immediately got into bed.
"She's got your ambition, Hansen," he mumbled into his pillow. He felt a soft touch in his hair, almost like fingers grazing it back like Cassie used to do. He smiled at the memories, then gently opened his eyes to see...nobody. His smile faltered.
"I really do miss you," he said. "Five years...it still seems like yesterday. I suppose it will always feel that way."
**
The next morning, Carlton started cleaning the house bright and early. He was feeling a little gloomy after his and Dani's long talk last night. It brought up a lot of feelings he hadn't felt in some time, like dread and despair. Feelings he didn't know he could feel again.
"Daddy," a tired voice called. He looked up the stairs and saw Dani wiping her eyes as she walked down. "Hey, sleepy head," he greeted. He lifted her up before she could reach the bottom of the stairs and carried her into the kitchen.
"How about those waffles," he said, as he sat her down at the table. She gave him a tired smile and nodded. "Did mommy like waffles?" She asked. As he got down the waffle mix and waffle maker, he told her, "Yes, she did. Actually, it might have been her favorite breakfast. She loved it with fruit, though."
Dani gasped, "I like it with fruit, too!" Carlton laughed at how she was trying so hard to be like Cassie. "I know you do, Pumpkin. What did I say? You're exactly like her." She smiled proudly, then watched as he mixed the batter and put it into the waffle maker.
He plated two for her and topped it off with lots of fruit and whipped cream. He did the same for himself and joined her in eating their breakfast. He made her laugh through it by making silly faces and doing impressions she never gets tired of.
"Alright, help me clean up and we'll go visit mummy," he told her as he chewed the last of his food and picked up their plates. Dani helped him clean up by drying the dishes and setting them on the counter. After he put them away, he raced her upstairs and they each got dressed.
"Ready, sweetheart?" He asked, as he walked past her room. "Coming, daddy," she called. She ran out and took his hand before he could walk down the stairs. They both left the house and walked to the cemetery like they do everyday.
When they got to Cassie's gravestone, Dani knelt in front of it and Carlton watched as she set her locket on the ground in front of it. "Dani, what are you doing?" He asked. She looked back at him with teary eyes and said, "So she won't forget me."
"Oh, baby, no," he gently said, as he took her locket and put it back around her neck. "She will never forget you, darling. She can't. You keep this as a reminder of how much she loved you. Alright?" She nodded, then hugged him tightly around the neck.
He kissed her head and rubbed her back, then gently sat her down with him in front of the grave. "Is mommy under the stone?" Dani asked. Carlton shook his head and told her, "No, she's right underneath us."
Dani touched the grass and said, "Hi, mommy." Carlton smirked, then said, "Come on, let's get home. We'll come see her after you get out of school tomorrow."
"Can we go to the playground?" She asked, as they started walking back. Carlton checked his watch and said, "I don't see why not." She cheered and jumped and took his hand, trying to make him walk quicker.
He laughed and ended up picking her up on his shoulders since his long legs can walk faster than her tiny ones. They got to the playground in a few minutes and she made a b-line to the swings.
Carlton pushed her as high as she could go on the swings, then let her swing freely while he checked his phone. "Long time no see," a voice beside him said.
"Judy," he said, but not at all pleased to see her. "What brings you here?" She motioned to her daughter playing on the jungle gym. "I only assume your kid wanted the same?" She teasingly asked.
He hummed and nodded. Speaking of his kid, she was calling for him to push her some more. "Coming, Pumpkin," he called. He went over and pushed her some more.
"Got any plans for later?" Judy asked as he stepped back once again. He told her, "Just figuring out what to do for dinner. We have a Sunday night tradition of watching a Disney movie, as well."
Judy nodded, then said, "Sounds like fun. Susan is with her dad tonight so I'll be...all alone." Carlton looked at her and said, "Well, I suggest starting Game of Thrones. Good time killer. Dani, let's go!"
Dani hopped off the swing and ran to him. "But, daddy, we just got here," she whined. He sighed, "I know, baby, we'll come back next week. We'll have a picnic, how's that?"
She smiled widely and nodded. "Alright, let's go. Goodbye, Judy." He doesn't understand why she always asks him out or flirts with him because he shuts her down every time.
As he and Dani walked down the streets towards home, Dani excitedly shouted, "Look, daddy! It's you!" Carlton looked where she was pointing and saw a stack of his books in a shop window. His picture next to the stack of books, which is what caught Dani's attention.
"Can you read your book to me, daddy?" She sweetly asked. He smiled down at her and said, "Erm...yeah, I suppose I can. Before bed, alright?" She nodded and hugged him around his waist.
"I love you, daddy." He hugged her back and said, "I know. I love you, too."