I woke up slowly, and I was little disappointed. My leg was still bleeding and my head pounded enough to make my vision blurry. I sat up and looked around. Grant was eating by a fire and Hayden was showing Baylee how to whittle.
"Haden.." I hushly called out.
"Ophelia! Um,..don't try to talk!" he said jumping up, offering me water. I fainted back into oblivion. My head spun around a detail of my life so minor i thought I had blocked out the idea.
"Come on." I urged. My hand tugged at his pant button. He didn't say anything so I undid his pants then slid my hand in.
He pushed me away him then hurried to button his pants. Embarrassed, I rolled over. I covered my face with my hands.
"I thought you had this no touching policy," he said.
I licked my lips then let my elbows drop, but not my hands yet. "I'm trying," I pushed myself to say.
"I don't know what to say to that," He said after a few moments of lingering silence between us.
"What do you mean?"
"You aren't trying very hard," he said. He rolled over then sat up. He kicked his legs over his bed and sat on the edge. I sat on the other side. I put my hands on his comforter. I rubbed my fingers over the fabric.
"What do you want from me? I have forgiven you for cheating on me. I do not go into full panic mode when we make out anymore. I-I'm..I'm starting to trust you again. Then you say stuff like that."
"I don't know why you can't just be fucking normal."
"What do you mean?"
"I didn't sign up for the crazy."
"The crazy wasn't there when you first came around."
"You're seriously blaming me for your problems?"
"Maybe I am."
"You're just trying to piss me off."
"Yeah, I would appreciate some emotion every once in awhile."
"You don't know emotion."
"If you give me the bullshit about my parents one more time," I growled.
"It's made you weak."
I laughed then said, "I am fine. You are the one afraid to lose me."
"I don't need you."
"Don't lie," I whispered.
He turned around then pulled me to him. He put my head in his lap then he said, "I hate that..about you. How you can just be yourself, you know fucking mindblowing and amazing,.." He took a deep breathe, "and I love you for it. But I also hate that I'm destroying you. I think that your parents thought they built you up..to be some war machine..but in reality, you're weaker than anybody else."
I shrugged then said, "I really hate how you think you have me figured out. But really, you never stopped and tried to get to know me."
"Oh, I know you."
I giggled then said, "Listen, I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of you trying to get us to fight. But also, I'm super tired because I stayed up all night crying. You want to know why?"
"Oh, please tell me," He sarcastically roared.
"I got a full ride to that university I got accepted into. And..for the first time I felt like, maybe things are going to be alright."
"Wow, didn't know you had that you in."
"Okayyy,...that was a bit uncalled for."
"Well, what do you expect? You could barely pass Algebra 2."
I sat there dumbfounded. He saw my expression and started to laugh.
His laughed echoed through my head as I heard a frantic yell in the distance.
"Wake up!" Grant yelled. I gasped and sat up, pushing him away. Grant and Baylee were crying. Haden looked terrified.
"What?" I asked.
"You..died in the night. You were ice cold." My brothers sat together, holding each other and shivering.
I peeked at my shoulder then leg. "Well, I'm fine now. We have to go back."
"Why?" Haden asked, he had hope in his voice.
"Your sister is dead," I said, not sugar coating it. "She was sick. I am sick now. I have exposed all of you."
"It's okay," Grant said with a shrug.
"Not it is not. But I have some good news. Dad saved me."
"No, I saved you. You were passed out on the ground." Grant said.
I exhaled then said, "He was there. He called me 'kiddo'. He smelt like him. I promise."
"Dad is dead. He..he didn't send a text and he didn't write the note. There is no way they both made it out," Grant said softly.
I rolled my eyes. "I know what I heard."
"Fine, we'll go back," Haden said, even though he had no reason to stick around anymore.
"I had her!" John screamed. He grabbed his pistol and aimed it at me. He shot at me, screaming something. I didn't try to hide from the bullets, I let them whiz past me. He shot several times before it started to click. He lowered it then started to sob. I walked towards him slowly.
"It's okay. We are close. I saw a kid carry her off. She is close," I put my hand on his shoulder but he pushed me away.
"Don't touch me. I know you were dreading having her back. Now she's dead."
"Let's go out and have fun!" She said, tugging on my sleeve.
"We are having fun," I mumbled through my pencil.
"No, you're doing homework."
"You were asleep."
"Because you're boring!" She said. "Let's gooo!"
"Go where?"
"Umm! I don't know. Come on! We'll find something." She crawled to my desk chair and tugged on my shoes. I looked down at her. I remember every detail of this moment. She pulled too hard and fell backwards. She laid on her back laughing. Her belly rolled and her eyes rolled back as she laughed. She was so beautiful. So fucking beautiful. I had tried to distance us but she wouldn't have it.
She says I'm being ridiculous but I can't stand to hurt her anymore.
I passed out at John's feet. I woke up with him pouring water down my throat. I coughed it up and looked at him.
"You have low blood sugar, kid. You need to eat more...Thanks for..trying.." He said softly.
"What do you mean?" He asked me.
"I..don't really have much sympathy for people like..her," I said with a shrug. He stopped and let go of my hand.
"Why not?"
"She is homeless and sick. But she has a phone and really nice shoes. My parents set up charities for people like her, but they never work. Because they just do not know how to budget their money. They will spend it all on-" "But she's sick. She needs help."
"But we should give it in other ways."
"Like?" The sarcasm in his voice made me angry.
"Like education."
"So we are just suppose to give her a book and some paper? Problem solved?"
"You know what I mean."
"No, I don't. That women needed money in the moment. I helped, when you refused. You're kind of a bad person."
The words struck me like a wall. I stopped walking, I did not know what to say. The words finally fell out in a jumbled mess, "I'm a good person-" He cut me off with, "You are not. Your parents beat all the good out of you. Desensitized your emotions. You find nothing sad, everything angers you, and you never find anything funny! You're an angry robot."
My heart raced.
"I guess you've cried," he said with a shrug.
I licked my lips. "Do you really think of me like that?"
"Now you're going to get mad at me. Everything I've said is true, though."
I looked around. Mostly for something to beat him with, but mostly because I knew he was right. But I could not let him treat me like this.
We rounded the corner of the compound. Haden's sister's body laid at the entrance, almost taunting Haden. I looked at Haden. He did not show any emotion. While he looked at his sister, I looked around the compound. Nate's body was in the same spot. The military had basically cleared the whole place and had started to burn the sick bodies but had not finished the task. I saw the hole in the fence that I almost freed myself from.
A familiar feeling of my dad washed over me.
"Haden, no!" Grant yelled. I turned my head, only to be misted with red. I heard a thump as I wiped the blood from my eyes. Haden laid at my feet.
"Lia!" The boys both yelled. They didn't waste a second to run to me and bury their heads into me then their arms around me. I cried as I held them. Cried so hard that soon my chest throbbed.
We finally pulled ourselves back together and went back to our spot in the woods. We laid down for the night and fell asleep.
"Wakey, wakey boys!" A familiar voice yelled. John and I both shot awake. Five men held up at gunpoint. The old man told me to stand. He was badly scarred on his face and his arms were burnt up.
"You think it's funny to take everything a lad owns? You know what we had to go through to find you two? You guys are very slippery, we saw you running with the military..." John in a flash took a man's gun and ran into the woods. I couldn't believe that he just left me with them.
The reality of the situation set in. They were going to kill me.
"You were suppose to get us to Kansas safely..Why did you run? Were we not kind to you?" He said more. But I passed out before I could respond.
I woke up, tied up. Everyone was out cold. I struggled against the ropes that held me down. I loosened the knot enough to wiggle out. I looked the men. Their guns laid around them. I could kill them.
Solve my problem for good.
They'll realize that I'm not worth it and give up, I rationalized in my head.
I got up and ran. I just ran west. I ran west. I knew, sooner or later I would find kansas.
I got to a river. It bubbled and babbled. I crossed it as the sun dawned under the bridge. I heard my name from above me.
"Calvin!" I screamed. I couldn't believe it. I stood on the bridge looking down at his face. He smiled up at me.
My brothers looked over the edge too. Calvin looked over his shoulder then looked back at us.
"I'm sorry!" he screamed. "Run, Ophelia!"