My back ached when I woke up in the middle of the night, still buckled in the car, the driver and his passenger long gone. Slowly, as to not irritate my muscles, I unbuckled myself and sat up. The stars were bright in the sky as I stared up through the window. I slid over and opened the door, crawling out into the night. I staggered over to the door, luckily finding it unlocked.
That was about the only thing that went right today.
Silently, I entered the house, surprisingly finding it completely quiet except for the snoring of my father. I didn't dare check in his room for fear of what I might find, so I made my way up the stairs and into my room. Tears still stained my cheeks as I sneaked in and climbed into bed. Once again, I curled myself up under the blankets and cried until I fell asleep.
The next morning, the soft pitter-patter of rain on my window woke me up and had me cowering under the covers as soon as I stirred. Often, the beating of pouring rain scared me into thinking my father was coming for me, but after I realized it was just the rain I was okay.
Yes, I was scared of rain, but you would be too if you were me.
Glancing at my clock, I found out the rain had woken me up a few minutes early, just enough time for me to take a shower, which I needed badly. So, I climbed out of bed and went to search my closet for something decent to wear. Finally, I picked out an old softball tee shirt I had bought during rec ball and a pair of washed out jeans. When I went into the bathroom, I realized I had slept in skinny jeans that I had put back on last night. I took them off only to find seams impressed into my skin. Sighing, I rubbed my eyes and turned the water on full heat. I double checked to see the door was locked, just in case, and stepped into the shower, letting the steaming water run down my hair.
I knew my father still expected me to cook breakfast for the family, but I refused to go to school. I hurt so badly that I could hardly stand up in the shower. Besides, he wouldn't care. School was a 'privilege' for me, but it was probably the only reason I was still alive. Yawning, I stepped out of the shower to brush my teeth and hair, but I decided to put it up in a sloppy bun atop my head. I didn't bother with mascara since I wasn't going to school and headed downstairs to start breakfast.
No one was awake, for which I was thankful, but I took out a pan. I cracked an egg into it just as Destiny sauntered in groggily. She rubbed her eyes, yawned, and sat in her usual seat. "Where's my eggs?!" she snapped. I flinched and turned the burner up, trying to speed up the cooking process. She shook her head and yawned again. "So how was your night, Danny?" she snickered.
I winced, froze, and closed my eyes. Shrugging her off, I continued to cook the eggs through. By the time they were finished, the girl my father had brought home and my father had come to sit at the table. Destiny and the girl were having a conversation despite the awkward situation. As I approached with the plates in hand, they stopped talking and stared at me. I set the plates in front of them and retreated back to the sink to wash the dishes.
"What happened last night?" the girl asked, holding her head and slightly swaying back and forth in her seat. "I was so wasted," she laughed, leaned back in her seat, still holding her head.
"Get her some pain killers." My father said, nodding to the medicine cabinet. I nodded and scurried over to it, pouring the pills in my hand and fixing her a glass of water.
I hurried over to the table and dropped the pills in her hand while setting the glass of water in front of her plate. I turned around to go back when I heard behind me, "Thank you." Astounded, I swept around to stare at her.
"There's no need to thank that slut." My father said, waving a hand in the air. "She's not going to answer anyways. Bitch," he said, rolling his eyes.
I sighed, closed my eyes, and spun back around to finish. I pushed my bangs behind my ear and tried to hold in the tears. When I couldn't, I set the pan down and fled back up the stairs into my room. I withdrew under my covers and squeezed my eyes shut.
Why me? What did I ever do to them? Why didn't they just put me up for adoption if they didn't want me? There was no reason for this, to treat me this way. I curled up as tight as I could with a stuffed animal I'd gotten for a birthday present by another family. With the cover over my head, my arm suffocating a worn stuffed beagle, and the soft, comforting rhythm of the rain, and faint tears rolling down my face, I fell asleep.
The house was deadly quiet when I woke up freezing cold. I pulled the covers tighter around me and tried falling back asleep, but my mind wouldn't permit. My empty stomach rumbled at me, so I slowly crawled out of bed and slipped on a sweatshirt. As it roared at me again, I came down the stairs, hugging myself even with the sweatshirt over me. I searched in the closet for a packet of oatmeal and hurriedly made it. I gasped as I caught a glance outside; it was snowing. Holding the steaming bowl of oats to my chest, I approached the screen door and warily opened it. I was greeted with a blast of icy air. I shivered, but I stepped out, making sure that the door was unlocked after I retrieved a spare notebook and a pencil. J… I thought, shaking my head, wishing I had my other notebook. I continued farther into the woods. I couldn't help but scan the restrictions of the woods for those startling blue eyes. I shook my head; it didn't matter if he was here or not. I didn't even know who he was. I collapsed on a random spot on the ground and contently ate my oatmeal in peace.
I've lived this way every day of my life. I don't understand why now has to be so different. Was it because of Josh? That I was finally—maybe—falling for a guy? And just maybe he likes me back? Was that too much for Destiny to handle? That I could get a guy too, no matter how much she put me down. Was it because I was getting older? I've never really stood up to him, told him to stop or I'd call the police—he is the police. I was almost eighteen. Maybe this was how he said he was going to miss me when I finally get out of this rat hole.
Ha, yea right. I crack myself up sometimes.
As soon as I turn eighteen, I'm out. And I'm never coming back.
I didn't know what I was going to do for the dance. Mid-Winter's Formal. Ouch. No doubt Josh would want me to go with him. There was no way Destiny was going to let me go with him, but I didn't have a dress to go in. That wouldn't stop Iya anyways. She was determined for me to go. I don't know why, and honestly, I don't care, but she was so stubborn and sweet at the same time. She was probably trying to hook me and Josh together. With the way Destiny was acting, that would never happen. I wish she would just leave me alone, let me live my life without any disturbances from my so called family. I didn't even know why she was doing this to me. Yea, I guess the whole new kid thing would be the first guess, but no guy's ever turned her down—especially for me.
It was weird, having a guy like me. Well, maybe. He might just be playing with me. Sadly, guys have done this to me, but not two at the same time. Jake was definitely toying with me. All he wants is a girl to get into bed with him—willingly, at least. He wouldn't really care if it was me or Destiny, as long as he got what he wanted, and I'm guessing he'd get it no matter what.
I shivered and pulled the sweatshirt tighter around my body. I glanced up at the sun, seeing that it was late in the day—around eleven or so; had I really slept that long? I sighed. I guess I deserved it, considering what happened last night. I shivered again, swallowed a sob, and pulled out my notebook again.
I didn't realize the sun moving slowly across the sky, but I did notice as my stomach emptied again and my skin chilled. "Danny! Are you out there?" I heard from behind. I whipped around to find my mom standing in the doorway, beckoning to me. "C'mon, baby, it's cold out here." I stared at her for a second before standing and following her inside. What the heck? Baby? Since when did she act like I was actually her daughter? She held the door for me; again, weird.
"Are you hungry?" she asked, and I noticed that her eyes were red. When did she get home? I stared at her again, standing in the middle of the kitchen, gapping at her, and nodded. She wiped her eyes when she thought I wasn't looking as she brushed past me. "What do you want, honey? A sandwich; would that be okay, sweetie?"
Okay, now she was starting to sound like Josh. She got out the bread and necessities for my lunch, something she hasn't done since I was too little to do it myself. She slammed her hands on the counter as she spread mayonnaise on the bread. She gazed at me with shattered eyes. "Danny, I'm gonna ask you something, and I want you to answer honestly, alright?"
I nodded, bringing my eyebrows together and gazing at her.
"Did he bring home another girl last night while I was gone?" she asked, sniffling. I nodded again, looking away for the first time. "He was drunk?" Again, I nodded. She sighed and continued with my sandwich. She was crying when she finished and handed it to me. I stared at her, nodded in thanks and took it into the living room to eat it. Just as I walked in, the front door closed. I stared at it for a second before sitting on the couch and biting into my sandwich.
When I finished, I watched as my mother went to her room, crying. I shook my head, put my dish in the sink, and went back outside to the same spot with my notebook.
Which was not a good idea.
"Danny!" he said, pulling away and smirking at me.
"Bitch," Destiny growled, gripping Jake by the waist. I stopped and stared at them. He was bare-chested with his pants un-buttoned, and she was just in her bra and jeans. Keeping his eye on me, he leaned in and whispered to Destiny, who giggled and nodded. Jake smiled and pulled away, turning towards me. I spun and tried running away, but he caught me by the wrist, pulling, and I slammed into the ground. Before I knew it, he was straddling my waist, holding my wrists in each of his hands. I was too startled and scared to scream. I just struggled underneath him, tears forming in my eyes. My breathing spiked to where I felt like I couldn't catch it and I kicked, and tried to scream.
"Feisty, isn't she?" Jake said, laughing and bringing my wrists above my head. "Take her shirt off, D." he told Destiny, using her nickname he gave her. Just as she bent down next to me, a deep growl stopped her.
"What was that?" she asked, freezing.
Jake shrugged. "Who cares? C'mon, Destiny!" he said, nodding to me.
But I had already relaxed a little. I knew that growl. Where was—Destiny screamed, interrupting my thoughts. Never mind. Jake jumped up and ran ahead of Destiny towards the house. J finally came into sight, trailing after him, growling with the hair on his spine sticking up.
I sat up, letting the tears fall as I wrapped my arms around my knees. I glanced up to find the big black wolf standing in front of me. He whined, pushing his nose under my hands, knocking at the wall I usually had around my mind. He slipped under my arms. Danny, are you alright? What happened? He asked, his voice hiding a growl. I relaxed, tangling my fingers in his fur.
W-why are you h-here? I asked, wiping at my eyes. I rubbed his ears, but he didn't seem to notice.
He flashed his teeth. You're avoiding my question.
W-what do you think? I snapped. Don't you f-flash your teeth at me, p-pup.
He recoiled, but his ears sank to his head. What happened here, Danny? Why the hell was Jake trying to rape you? I swear when I get my hands on him…he growled, stood, walked in a circle, and sat back down in front of me.
I looked down, staring at the ground. I-I don't know. I c-came out here to w-write and I guess I-I interrupted them. W-what are you d-doing here, for the t-third time?
I was coming to check up on ya. You didn't come ta school. His ears flickered.
I-I'm fine…if you can believe that. I'm so tired…and I d-don't know why.
That's odd. You've probably been sleeping all day too, haven't ya?
Y-yea, but I'm still tired. Maybe that's because of the adrenaline or something.
He studied me with cautious eyes. Yea, maybe. He said, eyeing me. Have you been out here all day?
Basically, yea. I've been writing in this old notebook since someone stole my notebook.
He snorted, shaking his head. Are you an idiot? It's freezing! You're gonna get sick! He growled and flickered his ears again.
I crossed my arms over my chest and stood up. Why do you care so much? It's none of your business anyways! So what if I get sick?
I'm just looking out for you, Danny, and I'm not gonna apologize for being the first guy to care for you. He flashed his teeth and stood up with me, his tail swishing back and forth slightly.
I'm not yours, J! I'm not anyone's! You don't need to look out for me. I can take care of myself! To be honest, I kind of liked that fact that he was worried about me. It was weird, but I like it. I never had someone to fret over me and actually care for me. But I wasn't one to give up a fight when I actually had a chance to win.
Usually I didn't.
He scoffed, throwing his head back and shaking his ruff. Are you kidding me? If it wasn't for me, you'd be under the mercy of Jake right this minute. You should be thanking me instead of arguing with me.
You're so arrogant! I yelled, spinning around and stomping back towards the house, making sure to scoop up my notebook this time.
Get used to it, he growled. I'm an alpha. It'd be weird if I wasn't cocky! I got a temperament too. You sure you want to see that?
I hardly glanced at him behind me. I won't.
Suddenly, the wolf stood in front of me, growling. You've already signed up, and you're just gonna walk away—his lips dropped and his eyes calmed, Whoa, Danny, don't cry. I'm sorry. Please, don't cry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I closed my eyes, but somehow the tears squeezed through. Suddenly, I felt something cold nose my hand. I'm sorry. He whispered, whining against my hand. I wiped my eyes again, wondering how I could cry so much in 24 hours and collapsed on the ground.
J, I just don't know what to do. Everything's going wrong today. Nothing's going right.
And I didn't help, did I? I'm sorry. If there's anything I can do, I will, alright?
There's nothing you can do, unless you take me away from here.
He lowered his head. I can't do that. I would love to, really, you have no idea, but I have a pack to take care of.
Of course, I thought, looking away and wiping my eyes. I also thought about asking him to tell me who he really was, but I knew that would just make him madder. Whatever. I dealt with it before I knew you, I can do it now.
I really wish I could take you in my arms and kiss you, but I can't.
I've never kissed anyone before. I blurted.
His eyes widened. What? You? Somehow I doubt that.
Obviously you don't know me then. I've never even had a guy hold my hand.
Oh, don't tell me that. He whined, walking around in a circle before coming up to me again.
Why not?
Because now I want to kiss you even more.
I gulped. Then do it.