"Hey honey, I didn't know you're here." Mom said as she walked into her room finding me curled up in her bed. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah I'm fine." I replied. "I was actually just waiting for you."
"Oh, I spent a few hours later today but I thought you had to work tonight." Mom said as she took off her jacket.
"Yeah but I don't feel like going tonight. Morgan's covering for me." I told her sitting up.
"Sweetie are you sure you're alright?" Mom asked looking at me concerned.
"Yeah, why?" I asked her curiously.
Could she be seeing through me already?
"I'm alright Mom."
"You're wearing my robe." Mom pointed to the blue satin robe I had wrapped around me.
"Oh yeah, I was sort of looking through your stuff and I saw this. I was admiring it and tried it on. I realized it's so comfortable." I chuckled trying to play it off cool.
"Yeah, I know. It's actually one of my favourites too." Mom replied as she eyed me curiously making me want to squirm with discomfort. "But besides that, I remember as a kid whenever you were down or something you used to find comfort in my clothes. So tell me sweetheart, what's wrong?"
"Mom why do you keep assuming anything is wrong? I told you I'm okay." I said my voice cracking.
"Something happened. What is it?" Mom said coming to sit on the bed beside me and pulling me into her arms.
It was like with mom being here now and with all the recent revelations, I so wanted to tell her everything but I don't think I could do it at the moment, it just caused me to break down. After taking the pregnancy tests the day before and them being positive, I was so out of it. I hid from Lucas by locking myself in my room in case he decided he wanted to share beds last night. I just couldn't face him after seeing those results. I didn't know what to do or how I I would react around him.
Earlier, I had went to the doctor just to confirm whether or not those home pregnancy tests results were correct, and my biggest fear was confirmed. I was five weeks pregnant. I didn't know what to do and I just felt so anxious staying in Lucas's apartment. I needed to be completely by myself. Mom's apartment was the best place for that since she was at work the entire day.
I still couldn't quite process things. How did this happen- like I knew how it happened but still. I was on the pill, I swore I hadn't missed one since Lucas and I had become intimate. And even more, every time Lucas and I had sex we used protection. So just how-what went wrong this time? It was like a bad nightmare that I was going to wake up from, but hours later I was still here in the nightmare realizing that this was reality.
I had no idea what I was going to do. I was a month pregnant and I hadn't even realized it, if it wasn't for me checking the calendar and realized that I was late, I wouldn't have known even now. I didn't really feel any different lately or anything. The entire day I spend here in mom's bed trying to come up with options on what I was going to do. I had absolutely no idea about being pregnant or babies, and I wasn't even sure how I had felt about children. Even worst, this was Lucas's child. How was I supposed to tell him? I didn't think I could do that. Lucas and I aren't even in a relationship. He still has issues with trusting and committing, so how would I be able to drop this bomb on him? I didn't know how he would take it. I doubt Lucas even had time to think about children of his own to how serious and committed he was to his work and Mafia business.
When I came here waiting on mom to come home, I just wanted to spill everything and maybe she would be able to give me advice and help me through this, instead of me making the same mistake she made which caused her to be separated from her family. However, the minute she was here with me as I cried my eyes out, I didn't know how to tell her that I was expecting. I had been denying anything going on between Lucas and I for months now, even though I had admitted to liking him but dropping a bomb like this now? I just didn't know how to do it. I needed a day or few more to actually make up my mind to tell her about it.
"Amy, sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong? I won't be able to help you if you don't tell me? You're scaring me right now, you have to talk to me. Did Lucas do something? Or did something happen with someone else?" Mom tried getting me to speak but all I could do was cry.
I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I was in deep trouble.
"I don't... I don't know what's wrong." I cried even though that was probably the stupidest thing to say.
How could one be crying and not know why?
"You dont know? Are you feeling emotional or something? Maybe you're just pmsing?" Mom suggested.
Hearing her say that made me cry even more. I wouln't be pmsing again for a while since I was pregnant.
"Oh God Amy, come on. You can't just do this now. You're crying your eyes out and I don't know what's wrong. So I don't know how to help or what to do." Mom said hugging me as she rubbed my back soothingly. "You have to calm down and tell me what's wrong. Did you have a bad memory or something?"
"I don't know what to do..." I cried.
"What do you mean? What don't you know how to do?" Mom asked.
"I don't know how to do it." I continued sobbing in her arms.
"Do what sweetheart?" Mom asked rubbing my back and my head. "Amy what don't you know how to do? Tell me. Just tell me and I'll help you. You know you can tell me anything. What is it?"
"I-I messed up mom. I don't even know how that could have happen. I- I have to go now." I said getting up from her arms and pulling off the robe.
"Amy, please. Talk to me, what happened? Amy wait..." Mom called as she got up following me "Where are you going?"
"I'll talk to you later mom. I have to go to work." I said to her as I opened the door.
"Amy, you said you weren't going. You can't go anywhere like this. You still haven't told me what's wrong. I'm worried. "
"Dont worry mom. I'll be fine. I'll see you later." With that, I hurriedly left her apartment before she could further try to stop me.
Originally, I thought that not going in to work would be the best option for me but realizing that staying in was even worst. Staying in alone meant I would be left alone with all my thoughts and worries and this whole issue would rest upon me. I needed distraction and the only way I'd find that distraction was to go in to work.
"Amy, I thought you weren't coming in." Morgan said surprised when she saw me.
"Yeah I know, I wasn't going to come in because I was feeling a bit under the weather but I'm feeling better now." I tried reassuring her with a smile.
"Are you sure? If you're feeling sick you should have just stayed home."
"I'm fine, trust me. I'm okay, I'm better now." I said to her. "It was just a little headache."
"You look like you've been crying. Your eyes are all puffy." Morgan said looking at me with a concerned expression.
"Yeah." I chuckled nervously hoping she wouldn't see right through my act and lies. "I may have been crying earlier when that headache started but it's okay now."
"Well you just make sure okay. And try to take it easy. If you start feeling a little of it coming back, you just let me know and you go home and rest." Morgan said seriously.
"Yeah, alright." I nodded giving her a smile. "I will."
I started out taking orders and serving drinks which helped with keeping my mind off my current situation. I may have messed up one order but I immediately took care of it before going to the next table. I had managed to calm down and not think about my situation for a while. Well that was until I heard Gio was here, which got me wondering if Lucas was here too. Everything then came rushing back to me as I remembered how I had tried avoiding him last night and this morning. I decided that I was going to help Morgan behind the bar for a while instead of waitressing. I was hoping that, that way I wouldn't have to possibly be the one who ends up serving him and Lucas if he was here too.
I was surprised when Gio actually came to the bar and requested me. I was instantly nervous once again, Gio was scary all on his own but that wasn't what kept worrying me. He seemed to be a bit too observant like he could see through you in an instant and I was afraid that somehow he'd be able to figure out my secrets tonight. I tried my best to hide all those emotions and everything that could make him suspicious as I made his drink.
"So Mr Cavelli. I wanted to ask you..."
"Amy I told you that you can refer to me as Gio." he said to me. "And if you're asking about Lucas, he isn't here tonight. He's busy taking care of some businesses."
"No, I wasn't going to ask about Lucas. I was actually asking about your wife-Lexi." I said to him. "I hadn't seen her in a while. I wanted to know how she was doing?"
"She's doing quite great. She's well." he replied giving me a smile.
It was obvious from just mentioning Lexi, you could tell that he was truly crazy about her.
"Oh that's great to hear. And how about the baby? I can bet he or she is actually getting bigger now." I said smiling.
Just the mere mention about Lexi's unborn baby, reminded me that I too had one inside of me that would be growing more in a couple months. I tried keeping the smile on my face hoping that Gio hadn't noticed anything from any facial expression.
"Well he's getting bigger and stronger. He's been really active lately. I think he may actually be ready to come out really soon." Gio replied. "He's going to be one active boy."
"Oh, so it's confirmed? You're having a boy, congratulations." I smiled at him. "I would really love if I could catch up with Lexi one of these days but I'm sure she's probably too busy anyway."
"You know I think she'd be happy to see you. She asked about you from time to time. You could drop by her office one of the day or I could make Lucas bring you by the house whenever he's stopping by." Gio responded.
"That would be great." I smiled at him. "Maybe you could give her my number and she could call me and let me know when she's at the office and isn't busy?"
"I could do that or you can just take her number right now and call her whenever." he said to me.
"Oh yeah, sure that could work too." I nodded.
With all these discovery and stress upon me, and me not knowing what to do, maybe if I got the chance to talk to someone who was in a similar condition-being pregnant- I could probably get some advice or ideas about how to approach things.