Chapter 42
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Okay this is a quick update because i-don't-know-why-i-write-so-fast-too...
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Recap: in the previous chapter, Jade stopped taking the poisonous herbal soup and prepared to leave the palace as Crown Prince had finally agreed to let her go. Jade wrote a farewell letter to Third Prince and left Rowena in the palace under Consort Lana. Before Jade leave, Crown Prince gave her his favourite bamboo flute. After three days Jade was gone, Crown Prince pronounced her dead and held a funeral for her, without no one else knowing that Jade was still alive and was only sent away by Crown Prince.
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How long has it been? Few days, but it feels like forever. Everyday he is only heavily indulging himself in wine and seek comfort in other women to fill up that empty space in his heart, but all to no avail. Everyone blames his drastic change on the Mistress' death, even Empress is taken aback and almost can no longer recognise her own son. He abandons Crown Princess who is still in her pregnancy.
Most importantly, he refuses to attend the Court which creates more reasons for his enemies in the Court to raise problems against him. The Emperor at first pardons him, for he too understands the pain of losing someone he loves very much. However, his empathy soon escalates into disappointment. And that continues for months, even after Third Prince's Consort gives birth to a boy, even after Crown Princess gives birth to a girl, even after the new year is over. Crown Prince is still putting up a protest against his own Mother Empress while waiting for her to realise him behaving in such a improper manner for a Crown Prince. Maybe that adds fuel to the Shine's faction to bring him down, perhaps indeed he should not blame the Empress, but blame himself for he is the one who makes her his Mistress and undergo all those pain she would otherwise not have to go through.
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"Your Majesty, Crown Prince's behaviour is intolerable! His Highness is definitely not befitting of a Crown Prince!"
"High Minister Shine, ridiculous! Crown Prince is mourning over the deceased Mistress Leanne. Of course His Highness will be extremely sad. His behaviours are justified!"
"High Minister Harv yourself has already mentioned that the deceased is only a mere Mistress and not even a Crown Princess. If Crown Prince is unable to manage his emotions over the death of a mere Mistress, how can fulfil his duties properly as a Crown Prince?"
"It is through this that we are all able to see that Crown Prince is a gentle and loving person and with his good nature, he will definitely be able to fulfil his duties as a Crown Prince. Unless High Minister Shine has a much better candidate in mind to replace Crown Prince?"
"You-!"
"Enough!" The Emperor slams his palm on the wooden table before him, closing his eyes as his head hurts over the quarrel he listens to almost every other time between the two High Ministers. They are both extremely capable, but very lacking in honesty. Being self-centred as they are, they have fought for many years for the Crown Prince position to belong to their own sides.
Eunuch Fan, from behind the throne notices the Emperor's worsening condition which never improves and he lowers his back as he takes three silent steps forward before he screams with his sharp voice.
"Last reports! If none, Court will be dismissed!"
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In the almost golden palace with red curtains draping from the ceilings, tied to many red pillars coated with gold, a woman rests her body on the long golden phoenix chair, sweating profusely as her mind digests the words reported by her loyal lady-in-waiting. When Lis completes and finishes her very last word, the Empress' complexion turns dark, then followed by pale as a sharp pain on her head shatters her energy. She shuts her eyes tightly and grits her teeth hard while her hand unconsciously moves towards her temples.
"Your Highness!" Lis rushes to her side, hurriedly pulling her fan from inside of her sleeves and fanning her master.
"Hurry! Summon the Imperial Physician! Hurry!" Lis swipes her hand as a signal to all the palace servants standing by the palace as she frantically but still carefully pours a cup of warn tea from the porcelain teapot into the Empress' favourite phoenix teacup and hands it to the Empire's Mother.
"This is...this is really...I cannot wait anymore... His Majesty is losing his trust for my Zeth, I must do something. But I am just afraid that I cannot hold on any longer..." Empress' sharp pain on the head soon is taken over by another stabbing pain on her lower stomach. She gasps for air as she sweats profusely and her hands reach for her lower stomach, trying her best to caress her belly to soothe the pain but it has always been in vain.
"Your Highness..." Lis can no longer hold in her tears and they drop down his cheeks, profusely, uncontrollably. She has always been with her Master and she understands her conditions best, even better than anyone else.
The Empress has always been ill ever since her miscarriage. Her First Princess was born in sickly condition. Then Crown Prince was born, and it still remained as a miracle to her that her second child was born and grew up healthily despite that one time when he fell off from a horse. Next, the Empress was pregnant again for the third time, but she lost it not too long after the sickly First Princess passed away. She has carried way too much sadness and burden on her shoulders, not to mention that her dearest younger sister Miya passed away during her most difficult time as well. However, when she realised that all her misfortunes were caused by someone else, she knew and she understood very well that she must stand up for her son. Thus she has always been hiding her illness, even from the Emperor and the Crown Prince, and appear as a strong, healthy and almighty Empress, despite her actual weak condition. She has been fighting against so many people, even including herself. She is indeed the strongest of them all, but she is still a human, and humans too have a limit on them. Maybe she has reached that limit and her body can no longer bear all the stress and burden she puts on it.
As a woman she has proven to the world that she can fight for her own survival. As a mother she has proven to the world that she has been able to bring up her child and protect him from all sorts of danger. As a wife she has proven to the world that she has never been a burden to the Emperor despite the fact that she can actually depend on him for her health.
However, as a human, maybe it is time for her to rest. She may still be young, but she is already on the verge of breaking down. She is already too tired. Maybe the Heavens are already pitying her and they want to let her rest, soon.
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He remembers that he was once dropping into this state, indulging in jugs and jugs of alcohol everyday, no longer caring about his appearance. Now he looks just like any drunkard on the streets of the Capital, though the only difference may be that he wears the belt and crown that signifies his Imperial status as a Crown Prince.
Everyday, every single day, he drinks his wine in his room where no light can shine through, while staring straight at the doors. Every single time the door creaks open, he shoots up, hoping that the face that appears before him is Jade, just like during the times he was still under house-arrest around five to six year ago. However, every single time, the people who enter his room have never been the Mistress he misses. He knows that she will never appear before him anymore, but there is just this single tint of hope that he holds onto, hoping that miracles will happen.
And suddenly the doors creak open, letting streaks of sunlight shining through, blinding his eyes for a moment. He recognises that figure, he recognises that woman.
"Mother Empress..." Lis pulls back the doors and shuts it from the outside, leaving only the Imperial mother and son in the room.
Empress strolls towards Crown Prince, trying her best to keep her calm and composure, for she understands that she will not be able to use any force on the Crown Prince right now. So she positions herself on the cushion right across the table from Crown Prince, her hands are on her lap and her eyes never leave his.
"Do you even know what happened at the Court today?"
"..."
"The Shines are trying to pull you down from your Crown Prince position."
"..."
"You are the Crown Prince, you must stand up and fight against those people who want to harm us, before it is all too late, especially when the Emperor's health is worsening day by day." He slams his jug of wine on the table, his finger cut by the small piece of the jug that chipped off due to the force. His pain creeps out of his heart, slowly inching towards his eyes, the heat of all sadness, disappointment and anger is pushing his tears onto his lids.
"Have Your Son not always done that? Your Son has never asked for anything from you, Mother Empress. All that Your Son has ever asked of, is only a woman. Yet, Mother Empress always disagree, even to the point of trying to poison her to death?!"
"H-how did you kn-"
"Your Son has had enough. Since Mother Empress has never listened to just a mere single wish of mine, Your Son too will never listen to Mother Empress anymore. Heaven's Son? What is so amazing about that?"
"Ridiculous! Who does not want to be the Heaven's Son?! Being the Heaven's Son means that you can own the world! Not everyone is able to become one! You are meant to be one, and you must be!"
"Is that true? Then if Your Son does become the Heaven's Son, can I have Mistress Leanne again then? Can I?!"
"She is already dead."
"Every single one of you...every single one of you is only trying to gain power through me! It is only because I am the Crown Prince! If I am not, all of you will not even bother with me!" With one swipe of his hand, all the jugs of wine on the table shatter into pieces on the floor, the wine splashing all over the place, forming patches here and there, just like his heart, and the Empress' heart.
"Ze...Zeth..."
"Scram! All of you! Scram!" Crown Prince goes berserk, his hands swiping anything that is on the table off, throwing them onto the grounds, finding as many things as possible to smash.
"Zeth! Calm down!" And he does. Strands of hair fall loose and cover parts of his vision, his eyes that were unfocused are now shooting deadly glares at his own Mother Empress.
"I...hate you..." For the first time ever as an adult, he sheds a tear before his Mother Empress, and it will also be the one last time.
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A continuous strings of dry cough can be heard for hours already, echoing throughout the wide bedchamber that has many red curtains draping from the ceilings to the grounds. Her bed is covered with golden silk sheets, she herself is propping herself up with her elbow while leaning against her lady-in-waiting who hastily digs out her pale green handkerchief from her sleeves. Empress coughs endlessly into the cloth, only to find a patch of blood staining the center, she and Lis are both horrified by the sight of the redness."
"Yo-Your Highness...this is blood! Summon the Imperial Physicians! Quick!"
"Lis..."
"Yes, Your Highness..."
"Why is it...that I have done so much in my entire life, for my child...but it only brings about hatred...from him..." She tried to hold back her tears, but those crystal clear droplets just cannot be held back anymore and they get heavier and heavier. Those are the tears of a mother, who cries for her child. All her actions are for her child, her one and only surviving child. No one understands the pain of white-haired people sending the black-haired people* as much as she does. She had sent two of her children off, and almost had to send her last child off in a planned accident. It is no wonder that she has morphed into such a ruthless Empress, because everything that she has gone through has made her like this, and it is cruelly and ironically justifiable.
If only people will understand her and her pain, they perhaps may understand her cruelty and ruthlessness, but they will never ever be able to.
She has lost almost everything, her first daughter, her baby, her parents, her sister, her love and she is only left with Crown Prince. How can she ever let her son to be driven away by a woman of lowly status, whose existence is already a taboo in the palace?
To people, she may be an evil, but after all she is merely a mother who is able to go to all lengths to protect her son. Like a tigress protecting her only cub.
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Well, this is the reason I've never hated the Empress and actually love her. She's this extremely strong motherly love for her child, obviously exceeding Jade's love. She's way too pitiful after so many things have happened to her. And of course she can only resort to ruthless methods and scheming because that is the only way to survive in the palace. :(
Anyway, see you in the next chapter! :)