Chapter Eighteen
Hester House, November 1994
Red glowed between Sonia’s lips, an ember stolen from the coals of a nationally guarded heart. Dark curls spilled over bony shoulders; a frame that stood on its own yet swayed in the wind and stood strong in a storm.
“Tell me that isn’t a cigarette.”
Flicking ash from what indeed was a cig, Sonia smirked “Wotcher, Charles.”
“Your mother will be furious.” Charlie said sternly, stepping into the shadows.
“She would be if it was a real cigarette, yeah.” Shrugging gaunt shoulders, her pink lips held onto the cigarette tighter than she’d ever held onto anything else. “This however, is not a real cig. I am a witch, you know.”
He chuckled “I do, and a good one at that.”
“I’m fantastic, and we both know it.”
“You did learn from the best,” he said, taking the cigarette and taking a drag himself, smiling at her badly hidden shock “Trying to prove a point here, Sonia.”
Snatching it back, Sonia scowled at him; it made her usually pretty face rather unpleasant, and a little comical. “It does no harm, so why shouldn’t I smoke it? Mother doesn’t need to know anyway.”
Charlie looked sad “Why do you call her mother?”
“Well she is, isn’t she? My mother, I mean.” The wind blew Sonia’s smoke rings into Charlie’s face, and he gave her a look while waving them away.
“You used to call her ‘mamma’.”
“And now I don’t.”
“Why?”
“I grew up.” She said simply, tilting her head slightly to get a better view of the moon. “I guess I haven’t finished quite yet though.”
Leaning against the house, Charlie’s shoulder brushed hers. He tried not to think too much. “I don’t think we ever cease growing up.”
“Maybe.” She sighed and twirled the cigarette between her fingers, the glowing tip looking like an angry firefly in the darkness. “Can I tell you something?”
Charlie nodded, keeping his gaze straight ahead “Of course.”
“I was almost looking forward to this wedding.” She laughed, but Charlie didn’t think it was because she found it funny. “I had a dress and everything.”
“Maybe you’ll get another chance to wear it?” he suggested, imagining briefly what Sonia would look like with her hair swept up, something glittery around her neck and a formal dress hanging from that skeletal body.
“I doubt it,” tossing the cigarette to the ground, she watched it glow in the dirt. “It’s not like either Andrew or I will ever get married, and nobody else I know will ever invite me to a wedding. Its already got a reserved spot it my closet.”
She slid down the wall, crouching down close to the ground. Her heels dug into the soft earth, and Charlie followed her down.
He spoke softly, not wanting to disturb a moment so delicate “It’s okay to dream you know.”
“For so long I dreamed,” she said longingly, tilting her head to the sky “Now I don’t want to do that. Now I want to act on them.”
Charlie couldn’t help but smile a little as he turned his head, seeing her profile lit by the windows of the house. Inside the last of the funeral guests were leaving; his own mother was watching Hazel with a keen eye. Though he had barely knows Hazel’s fiancé himself, he felt the need to make an appearance – he did love Hazel, and the twins.
“What do you dream of?”
“Escape.” Sonia whispered the word like it was a treasure, a key to a different world – one she was desperate to reach. “I want to travel, see the world that Mother has kept from us. I want to be the opposite of what I am now; I want to be free and my own boss, hold all the keys to all the doors I could ever enter. I want to throw them all open and leave Hester House, leave these woods I’ve explored too many times and…and leave the norm. I just –” she took a deep breathe “I want to really live.”
“What about Hazel, and Andrew? Are you going to leave them?”
She nodded, gaze locked on the moon hovering above them – so far away, just like the rest of the world seemed to be. “If that’s what it takes.”
“You’ll miss them.” He said knowingly “I miss my brothers, Ginny – my parents. You can’t replace family with adventure, Sonia.”
“I can sure as hell try.” Said Sonia, then glanced over at him “What are you running from anyway?”
Charlie shrugged “I don’t even know. I didn’t quite fit in I guess; maybe that’s all humans ever want. To fit in somewhere, with someone.”
“I don’t need anyone,” it sounded as if Sonia said this to herself a lot “I’ll be fine on my own.”
“Well if you’re ever not, come visit me in Romania.” Standing, Charlie dusted the dirt from his pants. “You can help with the dragons.”
Looking up at him, Sonia grinned cheekily “Won’t I disturb your Zen or whatever?”
Laughing, Charlie offered his hand “No, you’ll make it better. I promise. ”
Sonia looked at his hand, and on a whim, gripped it firmly in her own. “Okay.” She said, as he pulled her up. They didn’t drop hands, didn’t think about the eitght years difference between them – that didn’t matter. What mattered was Charlie wanted her to go to Romania and that Sonia had said okay – that maybe they were meant for someone after all. Someone who didn’t want you to smoke and gave you a reason to wear a pretty dress and go on small adventures with, but that was okay because you were with them.
“Okay.” Said Charlie, and they smiled at each other. Sonia ground the last of the cigarettes embers into the dirt.
Or maybe, in a fleeting moment all that existed, and then it was gone.
A/N: Forshadowing...
Look at what a goodn updator I am being! I think I'll give myself a pat on the back.
Question: Did you find this side of Sonia interesting, repetative, out of character, very in character, sad? Also, Charlie! I love Charlie.
I'm also curious - do I reveal much about myself in these authors notes, and in my writing? I like these little notes at the end. It keeps it personal.
Happy Friday!
Rose<3