This part of the story was really hard to write.
It’s very personal I was going to skip it completely but I put it in anyway because this story is about my life as a teen mum and it just wouldn’t be the same.
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Chapter 15
My girl is growing up so quickly; she’s now six months old. She looks more and more like her dad every single day. She has two bottom teeth now and my God I hate teething. I feel so helpless because she’s in so much pain.
The nights are getting worse because she’s not sleeping properly. After her bottle she’ll stay awake for a few hours before I can get her back to sleep. I can’t wait for her to get all her teeth. But what makes it really hard is that Garry hasn’t been around much to help. He’s either busy working or hanging with his mates.
“I’m getting sick of everything. She’s your daughter too. You have a responsibility to help look after her as well. I shouldn’t have to do everything. How long have you spent with her in the last few months Garry? How many times have you had to get up and feed, change and settle her of a night?” I yelled at him on the phone one afternoon.
And his reply was, “I don’t live with you, so it’s not my problem.”
“Right, not your problem, well you’re forgetting a few things. You always used to stay here, so you were kind of living here. And secondly, she’s your daughter as well, so it is your problem,” I replied.
I was so pissed off after that phone call I hung up and threw a glass across the kitchen. How dare he say it’s not his problem? I haven’t told him to stay away. I ask him to stay all the time, but his reply is always, “I’m staying home tonight, or I’m going to Glen’s.”
It was the end of the week at school and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I don’t seem to be learning anything because I either day dream about fighting with Garry or think about my little girl.
My last class was English. I don’t mind English, but we have a sub at the moment and all he had us do was watch a movie today. We were watching “10 Things I Hate About You” and I hated this movie.
I lay with my head on the desk while the movie was on. I just couldn’t be bothered trying to watch it. My phone started vibrating; I reached into my pocket and saw it was Garry. I unlocked the phone and the message said.
“I’ll walk home with you today babe. I want to spend time with my two beautiful girls.”
“Okay, meet me at the gates,” I replied.
Finally the bell rang. I walked to my locker and grabbed some of the books I needed.
Garry was waiting at the gate just like I asked him to, but like I suspected Glen was with him. I can’t stand him, he’s annoying and does nothing but cause shit. I just know he’s going to get Garry into trouble one day.
“Hey babe,” he said as I walked up to him.
I just smiled and kept walking, hoping he’d get the hint I don’t want to be near Glen. When he realized I wasn’t going to stop walking he said bye to Glen and that he’d seem him later on.
“Wait up babe,” he yelled out.
“Sorry, I just want to get home and see Chloe,” I said when he caught up to me.
“Are you staying the whole night or do you plan on leaving again?” I asked him.
It took him a while to answer, but finally he said, “I’m staying the whole night babe, you can get some sleep and I’ll get up to Chloe.”
I felt so relieved. I thought he was going to leave us again. But I was glad I was wrong. It will feel good to have him lay beside me again. I missed it.
We arrived home and Chloe was sound asleep in her cot. We didn’t want to wake her so we quietly went back downstairs. Mum was in the kitchen making a start on dinner.
“Kids, dad and I are heading out tonight. Dad’s got a work dinner, so I’ll get your dinner started. Just turn it on an hour before you’re ready to eat,” mum said as we walked in.
“No worries. Have fun tonight,” I said as mum walked upstairs to get ready.
While mum was getting ready Garry and I decided to get some of our homework out of the way so we didn’t have to do it over the weekend. I wanted to be able to spend my weekend with my boyfriend and our daughter, just the three of us as a family.
About forty minutes later mum left to meet dad at the office before they went to the restaurant.
“Be good now kids,” mum said as she walked out the door.
“As always,” I yelled out to her.
We finished up our homework just as Chloe started to cry.
“I’ll get her,” Garry said just as I was about to stand.
“Are you hungry? I’ll put dinner on,” I asked him as he walked upstairs.
I didn’t get an answer, so I put it on anyway because I was a little hungry. While I did that and waited for Garry to come back downstairs, I made up a bottle and warmed it up. Our girl was fussy and wouldn’t drink her bottle at room temperature.
I handed the bottle to Garry and he walked straight in the lounge room. No thank you, no nothing. His attitude is really starting to get to me. While he feed Chloe I finished dinner and dished it out.
“Dinners done,” I said from the kitchen.
“Coming, just putting Chloe on her play mat,” Garry replied.
I sat at the table and started to eat my dinner. I wasn’t waiting any longer. Why did it feel like I was losing him? I couldn’t think about it. I just wanted to eat dinner and go to bed. I needed some alone time.
Gosh he was so slow. I’m finished and he’s still not in here. He can eat a cold dinner, I don’t give a shit. I walked into the lounge room and he was on the phone. As soon as he saw me he said he had to go and hung up.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“Just Glen, he wanted us to go out but I said no because we have Chloe,” he replied
“Your dinners nearly cold,” I said with a touch of anger.
He walked into the kitchen and put his dinner in the microwave to heat it up. I picked Chloe up and took her up to her cot. She was sound asleep.
I decided to go for a shower and try to calm down a little, but what a waste of time that was. I got out of the shower and went to my room. Garry was sitting on the end of my bed.
“Mmm,” he hummed. “Didn’t you want to put clothes on,” he asked.
“I was just coming to get some,” I replied.
He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me towards him. He licked my bottom lip asking for entry, but I mumbled, “I need to get dressed.”
But he didn’t listen. He licked my lip again, so I gave him entrance. I always get butterflies when we kiss. I don’t think that feeling will ever go away.
The kiss deepened and he walked me backwards, but I didn’t realize it until my legs hit the edge of the bed. He pushed me back down on the bed and lay on top of me.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
But he didn’t reply. He just kept trying to pull my towel away, but I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to have sex.
“Move the towel,” he demanded.
“No. I’m not doing this. I’m not having sex,” I replied.
“You’re on the pill, so who gives a shit,” he said angrily.
“No,” I whispered. I don’t want him getting angry at me.
“Move the fucking towel,” he spat at me as he ripped it away from my body.
“Who do you think you are Garry? You can’t order me around,” I said.
“I’m your boyfriend and I want you. And I want you now,” he replied sweetly.
“I don’t want to have sex, now get the hell off me,” I spat at him.
As soon as the words left my mouth I almost regretted saying them until he slapped me straight in the face.
“Don’t you dare fucking speak to me like that,” he shouted at me.
“Please Garry, just stop. I’m begging you,” I pleaded with him.
I was holding back my tears. I don’t want him to see me cry over this.
“Don’t beg me. You usually want it, so what’s different this time?” he asked.
“I just don’t feel like it,” I answered.
But truthfully I don’t want to have sex with him because he’s changed. He’s never been like this. Ever since I had Chloe he’s been so different.
He grabbed me by the throat and pushed my legs apart. I kept struggling, but every time I moved he’d push harder on my throat and pull my hair.
“You’re hurting me!” I screamed. I couldn’t help it now, the tears started to fall and I couldn’t hold them back any longer.
He didn’t say anything; he just kept pushing and pulling.
“Shut the fuck up or I’ll really hurt you!” He screamed in my face as he pushed inside me.
I tried to push him away, but he bigger and stronger than me. I tried to lift my leg to kick him, but he flipped me over onto my stomach and pulled me to the edge. I couldn’t do anything.
“Please. Please. Please just stop,” I repeated over and over again, but every time I moved it would only get worse.
“I’ve already warned you,” he said just as he pushed my head into the mattress.
I couldn’t breathe and I couldn’t see. I gave up. I couldn’t take it anymore. I knew he was about to finish because I could feel him start to go faster, then all of a sudden he just stopped.
“See, that wasn’t so bad was it?” He asked with a big smile on his face.
It took me a while to get my voice back, but I finally answered.
“Get out get the fuck out of my house and stay away from me and my daughter. Don’t you ever fucking speak to me again. I said no, but you didn’t listen. Get out now!” I yelled at him.
“You can’t keep me away from my daughter you fucking whore.” That’s all he said as he walked out of my room.
I heard the front door shut and I fell to the ground screaming and crying. I couldn’t believe it, the boy I was meant to love forever just raped me.