I wake up to the sound of the birds tweeting merrily to each other out my bedroom window. I don't want to open my eyes but I know I have to. It's the first day of school today. Start of the new year, yay. Not. I hate school, for many reasons. Which I'm guessing you'll find out today.
My room feels small and dim, compared to Cam's, (which is where I've slept for the past week,) because I had little room to walk from my bed to my cupboard against my wall opposite. Only two big steps. But I'm not going to complain. Because at least I have a bed, or even a room to myself. Which is better than what many people have in third world countries. But I'm not going to get into that now.
For the past two days (after we bought all the things for the Winston's house)I spent all my time over at their amazing house. We started on the front garden and made great progress actually. Creating two garden beds along the two side fences and planting the colourful flowers and bushes in them. Then we also laid out the large pavements to create a zig-zag path to the steps up to the verandah. Also we planted a tree to the right of the path (closer side to the carport). But we still need to plant some grass, create another garden bed planting flowers in that. Also then planting the same flowers from the other garden bed around the base of the tree. And last of all make a white picket fence and gate out the front of the house.
I slept over at the Winston's one more night, and then came home so I slept in my own bed before we go to school today. I had, surprisingly, little trouble sleeping in my own bed last night. Didn't think about Michael once. But I've got a gut feeling that was because I was so tired from working at the Winston's that I was barely awake when I got home last night.
Now, I'm dressing into my school uniform, the dreaded things material is scratchy and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit me properly because mum couldn't afford a new one and got a "hand me down" from an op shop. The dress was the white and blue and yellow stripes crossing over each other so they formed squares all across the dress. The jumper was dark blue and woollen which nearly went down to my knees, so I had to roll it up a lot of times causing me to look like I have a weird shaped pot belly.
After getting dressed and ready I start packing my bag with my new books. Once I'm done the bag looks like it was nearly going to explode. I try to pick it up and it barely moves an inch, so I try and haul it onto my shoulder and end up tumbling backwards because I was leaning to far backwards. When I somehow manage to stand up again, I look out my window into Cameron's. His large notepad is leaning against his window and saying, "I'm going to your house now, hurry up, slow poak." I roll my eyes. Does he really take every chance he has to dis me? I suppose he does.
I walk out of my room and start to head for my door, when I hear two hushed voices in the kitchen, I walk in and see Cameron and my mum having a 'little chat'. They stop talking when I walk into the room and both give me innocent smiles. I just raise an eyebrow.
"You ready to go then?" I ask Cam. Not even bothering to say 'Good morning,' or 'hi,' to either of them. I suppose I was just too worried about school to bother.
"Yup," Cam says with a smile.
"Well, see you later dears," my mother says, turning back to the washing up she was doing.
"Ok, bye mum," I say casually.
"Seeyah Mrs Hawkins," Cam replies politely.
"Have a good first day and good luck."
"Thanks, we will."
We walk out of the house, down my front path and out of the gate along the dirt road. And start the long walk to school. Cam and I had organised to do this every morning, since he didn't really know where he was going and I was his best friend. I mean, of course we were going to be walking to school buddies. By halfway to school I was really starting to lag behind, my bag was starting to have an affect on me, so we swapped bags, Cam took my monstrous bag and I took his 'surprisingly light for a first day at a new school' bag. When I ask why his bag is so light, he replies nonchalantly:
"Well, it's my first day, they can't blame me for not having everything, right?"
"You'd be surprised," I scowl, thinking about the day and teachers and people ahead.
"Ok?"
"Don't worry, you'll be fine, everyone likes you."
"As apposed to everyone not liking me?"
"Well, if you're like me..." I mutter," don't worry. You'll be fine."
"Is there something you're not telling me?"
"You'll find out soon enough," I mutter darkly.
"Should I be worried...?" He asks slightly confused.
"Most likely yes."
*
We arrive at school, my heart thumping fast, I don't want to be here, hearing their snide comments about my brother, about my family, about me.
We organise where Cam has to go for homeroom and surprisingly he's in my homeroom. In homeroom we are assigned lockers and timetables. The lockers are assigned in alphabetical order, so Cam and I aren't next to each other. Leaving Cam to go to my locker, meant him being surrounded by interested girls. Who flirt their heads off to get his attention. I just roll my eyes at them and finish unpacking my bag into my locker.
Luckily, so far I haven't had too many looks and no cruel comments yet. But I've got a feeling I spoke to soon.
The bell rings and I grab my books for my first class and give Cam a smile as I pass by, I'm sure they are all asking if they could escort him to class. He smiles back, but I can tell by the look in his eyes, he's yelling 'get me out of here!' I chuckle to myself as I walk down the hallway, people that walk pass me look at me, some giving me death stares, others giving me a sympathetic looks. Everything reminding me of Michael. My heart is thumping as I walk through the throng of people, I can't get out of it, I'm surrounded, my head spinning. The looks. The faces. People bumping into me. Knocking me around. The noise. The walls. They are all closing in.
I feel a hand on the small of my back, my body relaxes. It pulls me out of my panic attack. I don't even look who it is it leads me out of the throng of people and into the nearest classroom, which happens to be empty. I take a deep breath, feeling like I had been holding my breath for a hundred years and I could finally breath again. The feeling relaxes me. I look over at the person who helped me, and have to look up to see their face.
Daniel.
He had a kind smile on his face, his hand is still lightly placed on my back.
"Are you alright? You looked like you were about faint," he asks his face showing some worry. But he doesn't really show much emotion generally, his face is always like a mask of nonchalance. That I wish I could take off, and see what's hidden beneath.
"Yeah fine, just everything was too much, I just couldn't breathe."
"That's understandable," he says nicely, "since your so small you are stuck in the crowd, while I can just look over everyone's heads."
"Your so lucky," I mutter.
"Not really, being tall isn't that great, you stand of a group like a black sheep in a flock of white sheep."
"And you don't like attention?" I ask.
"Not really, no," he replies.
"But you're the most pop-" I stop myself from finishing that sentence. I don't know why though. What is harmless about saying that he's the most popular guy in school? I don't know? But I just didn't want to say it for some reason.
"What?" He asks.
"Never mind, I better go, the bell is about to go," I say quickly.
"Ok bye then."
And is if a coincidence. The bell rang.
*
I enter the classroom a few minutes after the bell rang, just as Mr Gregerson began to take the role. I sit down quickly, knowing that all the eyes in the room were on me, as usual. I just sit in my usual seat and stare at my table.
"Miss Hawkins, I hope you have a good reason for being late," Mr Gregerson asks, his voice is cold and cruel, his eyes are cutting into the top of my head as I stare contently at the table infront me. I take a deep breath before answering:
"No, sir, I don't," I mutter.
"What was that?" His cold voice cuts through the air and hits me like a knife.
"No, I do not have a reason for being late," I say looking him in the eye with the same ferocity he is looking at me. I finish with the word,"sir," putting extra emphasis on the word. Almost spitting it.
Ever since I arrived at this school from the first day of year 7, this teacher had it out for me. I have no idea what I've done, but it has always been this way. I'm not in the mood for his crap so I'll just give it back to him. I don't care if he gets me in trouble. It's not like it could make anything worse.
But the truth is that I know exactly why he hates me.
It was my dad's fault.
I might as well share it with you...
When I was younger maybe I was like two, Michael was doing his first marathon, which is an annual thing here in Bristown. Anyway, my father turned up drunk, and he isn't a very nice person drunk...or generally a nice person sober either. Anyway the race started and everything , Michael was doing great. So they say anyway. But, in the end Michael came second in the marathon against Paul Baker, Mr Gregerson's nephew, my father flipped out, he got angry and punched Paul. He thought Paul ridged the race or something. But it was really Michael's fault he lost. He fell over in the last part of the race. But my father couldn't see that. And that punch caused great riot in the the town. And now my family is hated by everyone in Bristown. And Mr Gregerson hates me, because my father was a violent drunk. But for some reason everyone still liked Michael, he was like the the golden child. But everyone hated the rest of us. Thought of us a freak show.
Mr Gregerson pulls me out of my thoughts by calling my name on the role.
"Miss Hawkins!"
"If you didn't notice from our conversation before, I'm here," I snap.
I guess I'm disliked at school, because I'm not a likeable person? Or I'm the nerd? The screw up? Well, if are not nice to me, can they expect me to be nice back? I've had a whole life of this, it's hard to be nice to people here. Except a select few.
I hear a few snickers behind me. I turn around to give who ever it was a glare. I see Carson Baker, Callum Swan and Rachael Gray and her cronies. How did they all get in my class? Carson Baker was Mr Gregerson's nephew, how was he allowed to teach him? I suppose it doesn't matter? Because most of my bullies were in my English class.
Great. I have to spend a whole year with them breathing down my neck. Not that they don't already do that, out of class.
"Miss Hawkins, turn around!"
"Yes, Mr Gregerson."
I couldn't be bothered to fight with him more.
"Now open your books and lets have Miss Gray read the first page."
At that moment there was a knock on the door and someone walked in, and my eyes widen in surprise. Cameron. What is he doing here?
"Sorry sir, I'm late, I was given the complete wrong directions by some girls and I ended up in the wrong classroom. And I'm new here, so I didn't know I was being lead astray. My name is Cameron Winston, by the way," Cam stutters staring straight at Mr Gregerson, his face contort in guilt, hoping he won't be punished.
"That's fine, Mr Winston, how about you take a seat and open you're books we were about to begin reading," Mr Gregerson, then he says looking at me," that's a legitimate reason for being late."
I glare at him. He glares back.
I'm brought out of my glaring match to hear Rachael call out from the back of the classroom, "there's a seat back here." I roll my eyes and look at the book infront of me, not wanting to see Cam walk and sit with her. My bully.
"Thanks, but I've already found a seat," he says, I could hear the smile in his voice. Forcing me to look up into his eyes, the green is like grass in the summer sun. He looks so genuine that I smile in return.
"Hey Cam," I smile.
"Hi Ari," he replies his smile was so beautiful, I have to admit.
"Rachael begin reading please," Mr Gregerson's voice cuts through the gossip that was going through the room, as the new 'hot' guy was sitting next to the screw up.
"Ok," she replies sweetly. But I could hear something much deeper through the sweetness, it was like a dark could behind a cloud of floating honey. I know, weird analogy...
And she began reading, and the darkness in her voice seemed to disappear whenever I saw Cameron smiling at me, I smile back everything he does.
*
The bell rings signalling recess, I gather up my books and walk with Cam out of the classroom, ignoring the looks I was getting. And as we walk down the hallways to our lockers, even though I know the stares were there, the just didn't seem to get to me, because Cameron's calming presence was beside me.
We talk like we haven't seen each other in years and we were old best friends. He tells me all about the girls and them tricking him to thinking that they had the same class but he found out that he wasn't in their class and had to run all the way over to my classroom. Then he asks me why the teacher kept on glaring at me, and I have to tell him the story about my father and why everyone keeps giving me glares. He seems to just except this and doesn't let it bother him, that surprises me most of all.
"Aren't you going to stop being friends with me or something?" I ask legitimately surprised.
"Are you kidding? Why would I do that?" Cam asks as if I was the weirdest thing he'd ever seen.
"My father punched a kid, that causes the whole world to hate us and especially me, my parents don't have to deal with what I do," I say, the last bit I was sort of talking to myself more than Cam.
"You said it yourself," Cam says.
"What did I say?"
He puts his hands on my shoulders and looks in my eyes.
"Your father did it," he says. "Not you. You had nothing to do with it. People in this town are ridiculous to treat you this way. You were what two when that happened? And you couldn't have done anything even if you knew what was happening at the time."
He takes hands off my shoulders when he sees I have no argument for that. He won that one.
"Fine," I say, "but you see why no one likes me now though?"
"Not really," Cam says. "I just see a really nice girl trying to live her life, and no one is letting her do it."
"But."
"But what? There is no but about it. You are amazing and they aren't. If they think it's right to treat you like this because of what your father did, then they aren't worth it."
"Yeah, but."
"Are you seriously going to try and convince me to not like you?"
I stop. No. I can't do that. He's all I have.
"No."
"Good, that's settled. I'm not going to leave you. No matter what. Deal."
"Ok deal." I shake his hands, then can't hold back my hug. I hold him tightly.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A drawling voice says behind me. "The screwup and her boyfriend."
I feel Cam tense under my arms and I pull away. Turning around to face Steven Hayes, Carson Baker and Callum Swan. Steven Hayes, Gabriel's twin brother. My bully. The worst of the gang. Carson stood on his right with a smirk and crossed arms, Callum was to his left but he didn't seem very into the whole thing.
"What do you want Steven?" I snap. My eyes are locked on his, both in a cold glare.
"Just seeing how my favourite little Ariana is going? I haven't see you all holidays. And you seem to have aquired a...friend." He drawls, his eyes on Cameron on the last word. His smirking face made me so aggravated with rage. But I have to hold it in, I can't give them a reaction. I tell myself. No reaction. My face pulls into a mask of sarcasm, a smirk plastered on my mouth.
"Favourite? I didn't know I was your favourite Stevie, I have to say I'm honoured," I drawl with the same voice he uses. His eyes tighten when I call him Stevie, which makes me smirk wider.
"You shouldn't of said that Hawkins," he says through gritted teeth.
"Neither should've you, but I guess it's even now," I sass.
"It's never even Hawkins, watch out," Steven says his voice dark as midnight.
"You're the one that should watch out."
"Shut up!"
"What are you going to do? Hit me?"
"Yeah, that was on my list of thing to do," he smirks.
That was obviously too much for Cameron. His body seems to go ridged like a tiger ready to pounce.
"You better watch it assholes, I could take you all out right now," he says through his teeth. "If you do anything to hurt her at all, there will be a price to pay."
"Why you have to be like that? We could get along great, don't you think? You could help me with things, you'd be quite helpful."
"Helpful?" Cam practically spits through gritted teeth. "I would rather stick needles in my eyes than help you!"
"You want it that way?" Steven say darkly. "We'll make it that way."
"Good luck with that," Cam snarls.
"I think you'll need it," I proceed, smirking.
"Fine," Steven says, not knowing what else to say.
"Is that the best comeback you could come up with?" I smirk, knowing I shouldn't push the limits, but I couldn't help myself.
"This isn't over Hawkins, watch it."
"You watch it." Dickhead, I finish in my head.
"I think we one that." I look up at Cameron smiling as he high fives me.
"I think we did," I reply smiling after the boys retreating figures.
"Let's eat."
"Ok."
"But, Ari, do you have to deal with this everyday?"
"This, and more, you haven't even met the girls yet."
"Great."
"I know right." I mock enthusiasm.