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IT WAS ALMOST as if he were paralyzed.
And he was, really. Draco Malfoy was paralyzed and his eyes kept trained at the clouds above him, watching intently on how they slowly moved.
He hated having weaknesses. His father always told him to never have weaknesses, they were like hidden gold and if discovered by the enemy, you will lose. And Draco never liked losing.
He had always been the star, always had been on top, always had won.
To his family's eye, he never won and he had always felt alone but even when he had always had lost against enemies like Harry, the feeling of his parents actually coming to his game or when they had bought him expensive gifts, he knew that they actually thought of him and to him, that was a huge victory.
But just two days ago, he had lost, and he knew it.
He had lost Astoria because of his assumptions, and he hated himself for that.
He lost her smiles, her laughter, the way she always opened up to him and he lost her warmth. She was not just his light anymore, she was everything and while that scared him, that also electrified something inside of him and the desire, the need to have her grew and grew like a flower that after millions of years of waiting, blossomed.
He did not dare to think that it was the best because it was not the best for him. No, he needed her so there was no way it was the bloody best when he did not get what he needed in the end.
And he broke inside, staring at sun that was slowly setting but was stuck in its position above him. The snow around him was barely visible above the mountain he chose and he had fasted a spell around him to block out the clouds and the snow around him so he could at least get to see the hidden sun.
And he closed his eyelids, letting himself soak under its warmth, imagining it was Astoria.
No, nothing could measure up to the way he heated up around her.
He let himself relax as he laid down, eyes closed, and enjoyed the peace. After a few minutes, a twig snapped that instantly sent him flying up to check what creature it was.
And when he opened his eyes and sat up, he became face to face with Astoria.
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O N E H O U R B E F O R E
"You did not bloody think to tell me that my bestfriend and Liam Feyre are dating?!" Astoria squealed as the news of her bestfriend with Liam excited her.
Cassandra let out her sweet smile and blushed. "A bit of advice sort of backfired but I am actually happy about it. Oh gosh, he was such a gentleman throughout the date and tonight, he is taking me to the cinema." She grinned at the new information before standing up and walking over to Cassandra's dresser and pulling one of her necklaces and presenting it at her.
Cassandra's eyebrows moved closer together. "I think you should wear this at the date." Astoria wrapped the necklace around her friend's neck and grinned. It's was a simple rose gold necklace that was quite thin but in the middle, had a tiny pink crystal wrapped around white crystals.
She put her hand on the necklace and smiled. "Thank you, A. Really."
Astoria smiled before sitting down again and letting a deep exhale out. Cassandra played with her fingers. She knew she needed to ask Cassandra about Draco. Her silence was killing her from the inside and she literally wanted to scream at her for answers.
For the past two days, she had been more quiet then ever and barely on speaking terms with anyone else other then her. Yesterday, when she introduced Liam to Astoria, they barely spoke. Liam apologized to her if he made her feel uncomfortable but she reassured him that it was not his fault and just had not been feeling good lately.
And lately, she had to blame herself. Not Draco, for leaving. But herself because she did not even bother to fight for Draco and she hated how stuck she felt when Draco kissed her. She knew that it was Draco kissing her, she dang well knew, but the last time her lips touched someone else's, it had been Richards.
Something stirred deep inside of her. She did not know why she envisioned Richard, she knew those were different lips that she felt. But it felt as if the world was fading away around her and Richard was right next to her during the kiss and she just.... froze.
She wanted to tell Cassandra desperately, but she did not even know if she trusted herself with this big of news. That her nightmare.... Richard, was now plaguing her thoughts.
She blew out a straight bullet of air to try and loosen her up when she suddenly felt stuck. She had to get out of here and now. She could not breathe.
Astoria adjusted her head to look at Cassandra who was playing with the hem of her shirt. "Cassandra, I need to go."
Her face gave a puzzled look before Astoria darted towards the door and all the way outside to the Winter air. Thank goodness they were on Winter Break or else she would have suffocated of being forced to stay inside Hogwarts. And when she reached the border of the school, she transported out of there and replaced the winter air with a high altitude.
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N O W
They were both frozen in place, not expecting each other to be there. No, Draco needed a distraction and Astoria needed to break away. They may have not expected each other to be there but they can for the same reason.
To forget what had happened between them.
And as she stared into his dark eyes she could not have felt a pang of guilt for not responding to kiss and think of that monster instead of her savior.
He could not have help to feel bad for not trying to stay and fight for her and instead leave her in the cold and vulnerable world. It might of sounded cheesy but he felt as if he could not breathe when she was gone and that scared him. No one made him feel this way, no one.
He wanted to break the silence, desperately. He wanted to walk all they way to her and hold her close rather then staying in his position and hopelessly, wait for something to happen.
But it was her brave soul who spoke first. "Draco," she stepped closer to him, "what are you doing here?"
When she walked closer and sat next to him on the wet grass, it was only then did he answer. "Trying to forget." He admitted, his legs laid down as Astoria's knees were perched up close to her chest as she slowly rocked back and forth.
Sticking out his wand he pointed at a dark log. "Wingardium Leviosa." He moved his wand leisurely as the log finally rested close to them. "Incendio." The log quickly erupted to flames and the once cold air was thinly replaced by a warmer aura.
Her hands and arms slowly fell out of its place before placing her hands behind her back in a supported weight stature as she relaxed, staring at Draco.
She wanted nothing more then to pull him close and rest near the warm fire and forget about the world. She was going to ask him if he had pitched a tent nearby, before he sliced the tension between them.
"Do you like me?" He asked, the weight of his shoulders, finally flying free. "I do not really care if you do or do not but I just need to-"
"Yes. Draco Malfoy, I like you." And the world had frozen over and Draco could not help but smile as he hugged Astoria, taking in her warmth. As he continued to hold her close, he could not help but hear the quiet murmur against his ear.
"I told you. You should smile more."
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ugh, the feels, i cannot
did anyone get that last reference in the end? if not, it was the first chapter when she told him to smile more because she thought it made him more handsome.
also, no sign of my crush but i honestly do not care, i actually like talking to his friend rather then him, haha.
with love always,
rj