"I'm telling you Jess, you'd love it! She's some ho-o-ot shit!" Tyler laughs and jumps up, planting his ass on the counter. Jesse smirks and nods as I roll my eyes for theatrical effect. But on the inside I'm more consumed with wondering what the hell is going on inside HIS head! I've come to the conclusion he must swing both ways, considering how he describes this Samantha girl to Jesse.
I'm getting to be concerned with Ben though. He's in a crappy mood apparently, and as the other two boys grin in memory and imagination, he's sulking more and more. Ben sits on a chair in the corner, arms crossed and eyes downcast. His eyebrows arch high and angrily as Tyler gets more into his excitement.
"Aaron, doesn't she sound like a catch?" Tyler asks me suddenly, diverting my attention from his cousin. A sharp, almost jealous edge makes his voice sound different than what I'm used to being directed at me.
"Oh. Yeah, what a catch."
"She's a total badass man," he turns back to Jesse. "She lit a smoke in the middle of the shop and then lied to Wilhide's face! Dude it was something to s-"
"She's not the biggest fucking thing, Tyler!" Ben suddenly shouts, standing. "She's just a chick that happens to be attractive, she's really just an ungraceful bitch; she's treated like an angel and acts like her uncle's some sort of dictator! We all know we're the only one he metaphorically rides! If she's so damn hot, why don't you go fuck her, and see if Samantha will let you near HER ass. I really fucking doubt it. I really fucking doubt it Tyler."
Ben storms out of the room, leaving his cousin, Jesse, and I with our mouths hanging open. I hear his door slam shut and look toward Tyler. He looks lost. And hurt, like some great injustice had been done to him.
"Are you-?" Tyler's face crumples but he's quick to cover it.
"Fuck fuck fuck..." He shakes his head solemnly and sends his clenched fist through the air. It hits nothing, but neither Jesse or I make a move to stop him. Tyler quickly begins bounding toward the stairs. I put a hand out to stop him.
"Is that really a good idea?" I ask. "I mean, he looks upset..."
"Exactly! I need to talk to him!" He tries to pull away, but doesn't break my gentle grasp. He knows I'll keep him level headed, as much as he'd hate to admit it. "Kid, come on. Don't keep me away."
"I kind of agree with Aaron," Jesse says. Then laconically adds, "He's angry."
"No shit!" Tyler scoffs. "I was paying attention as my... you know what, you guys can't stop me. Aaron let go."
"But I-"
"Now."
"Be careful, Ben's never like this," I say tenderly.
"I'm aware, that's why I need to figure out what's going on." I can see a worried glint in the brunette's eyes. It was funny some days, how his blonde counterpart almost always shadows his emotions perfectly. Whether it be their usual hyperactive, manic behavior or it a necessary seriousness, it just isn't the Paces to have random sadness. And absolutely never anger directed toward the other. Unheard of.
I release his arm and he flies up the stairs and down the hall. Jesse turns to me and clears his throat, to which I cock an eyebrow.
"I hope you realize that couldn't have been avoided, even if it seems it could have easily. And I know that quarreling in the close family dynamic can be worrying and disturbing, but some times it's necessary. Now I'll, uh... Go check if they upset Gecko any."
Confused, I follow. I try to ignore the rising voices from upstairs and ask, "How's he doing, better?"
"Better," Jesse confirms. He shakes a shield of light brown hair into his eyes and strokes a hand down Gecko's spine. The mass of shaggy fur lets out a chorus of satisfied whimpers despite the look of sadness in his eyes. The big sap.
"And what do you think that was?" I ask him.
"Jealousy," is the simple reply.
"So you think Ben's-"
"Jealous of Tyler, or in some way jealous of Samantha, but I find that harder to believe."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know, even Ben seems too mature to be angered by a girl taking his cousin's attention away from him. Don't you think?"
"Oh," I keep my eyes locked on his fingers rubbing behind Gecko's ears. "Yes, I guess so. I mean really; that's just ridiculous."
Suddenly a loud crash rings through the house. It's impossible to make out what exactly was the cause, but I give a violent start and my heart jumps. "J-Jesse..."
He tears his gaze away from the hall to see me with my hand on my chest. After a moment's hesitation, I respond to the question on his face.
"You know how you're um, you want to become a vet? Well isn't that ki-kind of like a doctor?"
"Yeah... something wrong?" Suspicion flickers in his eyes when I pause again. "Aaron, is there something you need to talk about?"
"What the fucking fuck is this shit?" A furious Lucas loudly stomps down the stairs. Then, as if we didn't already know, he says, "The assfucks are screaming!" We both give no response. Ash is usually the only one that stands up to him the way that gives us a chance of making him back down. Ash isn't here. "You aren't going to DO anything?"
When his eyes fall on me his face tightens in a disgusted kind of way. "Do I need to do something?"
"No," I say quietly, though Lucas can't hear it. I say it to Jesse. "No, nothing to talk about. I'll be getting to school now."
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This is Tyler's POV!
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"Ben," I open the previously slammed door, panting a little. "Ben...."
He's sitting at the desk that's placed facing the wall in between our beds. His head is hung and hands locked above it tensely. I can see his hand ball into a fist when I speak.
"What's wrong?" I ask. He jumps from his seat and wheels around to face me, eyes ablaze.
"What's wrong?! I have to listen to you talking none-stop for four hours about this selfish bitch of a chick that we only met yesterday! We were on a six and a half hour shift, but you have to play the girl up like you met Madonna instead of someone you thought was going to be a canine!" I don't say anything for a moment. His breathing slows a little. He continues with: "Well... You had one part right... I've got a feeling she's a first class bitch."
The silence stretched on for what felt like forever. "... Why, Ben? ... What's really your problem?"
This only got him angrier. "I don't fucking know Tyler. Maybe I don't appreciate you calling people 'ho-o-ot shit'!"
"I'm sorry, I was only trying to keep our secret..."
"I don't want to keep the fucking secret!" A sudden sob escapes his lips and racks his whole body. The tears forming in his eyes sends daggers through my chest. "I don't want to Tyler, I don't! I'm tired of it!"
I try to move toward him, but he backs away. He walks backward until he falls onto his bed and sits with elbows on his knees and head in hands. "I should be the one... I love you... not her, not her...."
I don't know what he's talking about now. He was the one who had verbally suggested we keep it between us a little longer; he said we could wait until the right moment, we could speculate on how exactly to tell the guys. Of course I'd thought it too, but he was more than okay with it days ago- now this!
Stepping forward, I gently place a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want to tell them then?"
He smacks my hand away with a furious, tear-stained face to match the strength. Suddenly, I feel as if I'm looking into my own face. Like a mirror, one that not only reflects my appearance but the confusion and anger and fear I've built up through the years. Though I've had quite a lot, I still don't think it would add up to what's on Ben's expression.
"I- no! I-I mean- I... I don't know Tyler!" he stands again and paces to the other side of the room. Ben grabs two handfuls of his white blonde hair and tugs painfully. It looks darker in the dim evening light coming through our window, and most likely from the situation at hand. I have no idea what triggered this. I know for a fact though that it isn't as simple as the stress of keeping our secret and Samantha coming into the picture. The person I know best in the world looks like he's having a mental breakdown and I don't even know why....
"Ben. What else could it be?" I ask tentively, not wanting to set any other fits off. Unsuccessful as I usually am, I don't break the pattern.
"Tyler! I don't give a fuck anymore- I just don't know!" I try to keep my eyes on his teary face but they have to wander to both of his clenched fists. He's in a rage of sorts, and looks ready to kill. What's possibly worse is that I know he'd never kill someone else....
Here's where I decide to never leave his side- even if he goes completely psychopath. I'd rather he stab me than himself.
Ben has worked himself to the point he can't keep still. He's constantly moving, pacing, clenching and tugging. Swearing loudly, he throws his fist against the wall. A clear hole is left in place of the drywall. I cover my mouth when he cries out and pulls it back, sinking to the ground. I rush over and pull him into my arms like I'd wanted to.
Finally, something close to calm has settled over him. Ben's chest is heaving but he lays in my grasp almost resolutely and craddles his hand.
Pains twists his features as he begs, "Help me... Help me Tyler, please..."
"What do I need to do, Ben?" I hold him tighter and press a kiss to his hair. "Anything."
"... Help me..." His head lulls to the side. His strength seems to have escaped him... I kiss the sweaty blonde hair again and pull him over to his bed.
"I love you too." A state of half-dozing makes the confused boy flutter his eyelids and go limp.
"Don't go!" he feebly cries. I had wanted to go down and see if I could settle any minds downstairs, or see who else had heard. Maybe even try to make the subtle announcement of our wall, but just as I turn he speaks out. I know I can't say no. So I lay down with him and close my eyes, holding him tightly against me.
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This is Aaron's POV again!
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It's been hours since Ben's outburst and since Tyler disappeared to try and fix up the situation. They stayed up there for a long while and when they came back down Ben's eyes were glassier than I've ever seen them. He hasn't spoken since.
It'd be quite a sight to see us now. The most mellow of the group and the two most excitable in a blah state, all sitting around the room with their friends. Tyler is by Ben's feet, Jesse is sitting on the ground with Gecko's head in his lap. Ben, Tanner, and a walking dead-looking Devon all fill up the couch with me. I haven't seen him in so long, though he's been under the same roof. I'd give him a hug if they wouldn't call that 'gay'; therefore blowing my secret.
For the second time today (which is actually something when it's only about four) Lucas appears in the doorway. I think we all internally groan.
"C'mon, I'm going to go get some drinks. Who's coming?" He asks blandly.
"Little early, don't you think?" Devon says, voice heavy with sleep.
"No," is the simple reply. "Well?"
I'm obviously out (sixteen, remember?), Tanner makes no reply, neither does Ben, and Devon shakes his head.
"Well fine, you four can stay here and brood together. Jesse, Tyler, let's go."
When no footsteps follow, he turns back again. "I don't want to leave Ben..." Tyler whispers. Jesse just shakes his head.
"... Fuck you guys then." Lucas stomps out of the house like a child whose toy was taken away and slams the door. I expect a drunken asshole to return some time in the early morning.
About two hours later, and three later than expected, Ash comes home. He doesn't even eat, just takes off his shoes and goes to his room. I find him sleeping soon after.