It had been a few days since I started my internship, and I have to admit things were running a lot smoother than I had anticipated. Avi and I were still at each other's throat, the sliver of kindness he had showed practically disappearing into the background. It was nonexistent. Other than that, everything was fine, especially since everyone had pretty much gotten used to it. Mitch, Scott, and Kirstie were more than happy to befriend me which definitely helped with the situation.
It was Thursday and the group had managed to get through two of the songs they wanted on their Christmas album: Oh Come, All Ye Faithful and I'll Be Home For Christmas. Today, we were just planning on figuring out what other songs should be on the album and how they should be arranged. I got up fairly early so I had plenty of time to get ready. The days were starting to get colder and colder, so the first thing I did was go down to my kitchen and fix myself some hot cocoa.
As I stirred the chocolate and milk mixture, waiting for it to heat up, I checked my phone, seeing a text from Mitch, ordering me to do one thing.
Queen: Don't go to Starbucks.
I stared at the message and laughed a bit as I shook my head. "Whatever you say Queen," I say to myself and pour up my drink. Heading back upstairs, I decide to let it cool down a bit and grab a quick shower. when I got out, I checked the time and quickly got dressed, deciding on my maroon off shoulder sweater and black leggings. I can be comfortable if I feel like it. I blow dried my hair and threw it up in a messy ponytail, throwing on only a tad bit of makeup to make myself not look tired. I slipped on my maroon combat boots and glasses before leaning back on my bed, sipping on my drink.
I still had about half an hour before I left so I decided to get on my Instagram and Twitter until I had to go. A little while later, I got up and grabbed my keys before leaving for the studio, actually feeling pretty good for the first time in a while. (XD I was so tempted to put for the first time in forever)
When I arrived, I headed inside, greeting the woman behind the desk as I passed, going straight to the recording studio. For once, I was the last one there, though I was still early. Shrugging to myself, I took my normal seat next to Bailey and glanced around, noticing Mitch staring at my boots.
"I'm not really an UGG type of girl," I told him with a small nod.
"It's different. I like it. I'm definitely gonna have to take you shopping," he said with a smile before perking up, his eyes lighting up as he did. "And before Momma forgets..." he paused, reaching behind him and pulling out a hot Starbucks cup. "For you."
I gladly take the cup, taking a small sip and tasting the familiar hot cocoa. "Thanks Queen," I said and set the cup down as I looked to Bailey with a grin.
"We were just talking about what other songs we wanted on the album. We know we have to have at least ten songs on there and so far, we have two. The problem is, we're at a stalemate and can't choose between everyone's choices," she explained, taking a sip of her own drink.
"I think we should do Up on the Housetop," Scott said with a proud smile, causing me to laugh slight, though, personally, I thought it was a good idea.
"That's too traditional. We should do Coldest Winter. It's different and I love it," Mitch suggested, rolling his eyes a bit. I wondered how someone could pack so much sass inside a tiny body.
"It's obvious we should do Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays. N'Sync did a killer version of it," Kevin said as he leaned back in the chair, a wide smile on his face.
"I think Hallelujah would be good on there. I know it's not necessarily a Christmas song, but I think it would add something to the album," Kirstie said as she cuddled up in her blanket, making it obvious she was as cold as I was.
"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen has to be on there. It's a classic," Avi spoke up. When I looked over, I noticed he made it a point to avoid looking at me. He's about as much of a child as Mitch is sassy. As I let the thought enter my head, I laughed a bit, causing almost everyone to stare at me.
"Sorry. Thinking." As if nothing happened, they started talking again, practically arguing about what should go on the album. Knowing it would last a while, I kept quiet, enjoying the entertainment.
After a few hours of nothing but arguing, I finally spoke up. "Honestly, I like all of them. I'm just the intern, but I could see you guys arranging all of those into some pretty awesome stuff," I said with a slight smile, but it faded when I heard Avi's irritated sigh.
"No one asked for your opinion," he said, narrowing his eyes at me. What was his problem?
"That doesn't mean I can't give it. It's a free country," I retort quickly, really not in the mood to argue with him.
"It's still not wanted. You're here to intern so do your job and let us do ours."
"You can't even do your job because you're too busy arguing whether it be with each other or you arguing with me. You're just to stubborn to get it through your thick skull that I'm not going anywhere."
"At least I'm actually welcome here. Face it shorty, you just want so bad to fit in because you know everyone hates you as much as you hate yourself."
The moment the words left his lips, my body relaxed and I froze. I could see in his eyes that he immediately regretted saying it, but by that time, it was too late. I stood up and calmly walked to the door, refusing to let the tears flow just yet.
"Ivy...I-I'm sorry..." The apology goes in one ear and out the other. I glance back at him, long enough to notice his eyes shining a bit more than they were. Tears. Good. Without a word, I walk out and slam the door behind me, deciding it was best if I went home. At that point, I only had one thing on my mind. I need something sharp and fast.
Avi's POV (Surprise!)
Everyone hates you as much as you hate yourself. The words were shocking, even for me. Even with everything that happened, I never said anything like that to anyone. I tried apologizing but she didn't hear it. Maybe she would still be here if you had kept your mouth shut. Exactly why do you hate her so much? Is it because she looks like Catherine? They could be sisters. That doesn't make them the same. Even your friends have tried to tell you that but you won't listen.
I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn't even hear everyone else trying to get my attention.
"Avi!! AVI!!!! What the hell was that!?!" Scott's voice cut through everyone else's like an ice pick. "You've never spoken to anyone like that, no matter how much you don't like them."
"I don't know." That was all I was able to get out before Bailey cut in. "I think we're done for the day. And I think you have some apologizing to do," she said, pointing at me. "I don't think Esther will be very ecstatic to hear about this," she added before standing up and walking out. I watched everyone else file out without a word, Kevin pausing only to give me a disappointed look. I couldn't blame him.
I finally stood up after a few minutes and walked out, getting in my car and heading home. I'll apologize tomorrow. When I got home, I walked inside and smiled softly at the sound of barking coming from a small Samoyed puppy. Well, more like yipping. I bent down and whistled. "Draco!"
My smile grew when the pup came out of the living room, sliding on the hardwood floors. Scooping him up and going into the living room, I sat down and began flipping through channels, seeing there was a Lord of the Rings marathon on. Leaning back, I watched tv as I pet Draco.
I wasn't sure how long I was there, but I managed to watch every movie that came on of the series. I glanced a the time. 7:04. "Damn." Stretching and yawning, I stood up and headed into the kitchen, intending to look for something eat when I heard a knock on the door.
Figuring Esther was here and forgot her key, I walked over and opened the door, stopping dead in my tracks. "I opened my mouth to speak, but she beat me to it.
"I figured I should tell you in person that you won," Ivy said calmly, but she couldn't mast the slight shake in her voice or the puffiness of her cheeks. She had been crying.
"How did yo-"
"Kirstie," she said, cutting off my question. "Congratulations. You officially did your job and ran me out of there," she said blankly. It almost seemed like she was looking through me instead of at me.
She seemed uncomfortable, but she didn't move off the doorstep. It seemed like she wanted to say something else, but she didn't know how. She reached up and pulled her hair down. It was so long and shiny despite having been up for so long. It was obvious she was trying to be quick about it, like she was hiding something. Then, a little glimmer of red on her wrist caught my attention.
"Just know I never hated you," she said, but I didn't hear it. Reaching out, I grabbed her wrist, tightening my grip slightly when she tried pulling away. I silently slid the sleeve up her arm, exposing four evenly spaced cuts going across her wrist and forearm. I instinctively grabbed the other wrist and exposed that wrist. Same thing.
She gave one more hard tug and I let go, watching in disbelief as she desperately tried to hide the injuries. I caused that. I was going to say something, but seeing that only made me forget everything I was going to say. I watched as she turned and went to walk away, but I reached out and grabbed her gently by the arm and pulled her back as if I had no control of my body. I didn't think, just acted.
Pulling her into a hug, I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Knowing that I was the reason she cut herself, I couldn't think properly. I could feel her hesitation before she nervously wrapped her arms around my waist, gripping onto my shirt. Her sobs were soft, but in the near-silence, I could easily pick them up with the shaking of her shoulders to accompany them.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered softly, resting my chin on her head quietly. She definitely wasn't Catherine. She was so much more fragile than her and I could only ponder what it was that made her break so easily.
I guess any sane person with common sense could ask me the same. All week I had acted like a jerk to her for no reason and now here I was trying to comfort her.
I took a few steps back, not loosening my hold in the slightest. The hesitation was still there, but she walked with me, and I closed the door behind us. Finding it difficult to move like this, I carefully picked her up and carried her into the living room, setting her on the couch gently. I ran upstairs to get some gauze and peroxide, my personal favorite since it didn't hurt nearly as bad as alcohol, and hurried back downstairs to see Ivy curled up in a ball and leaning against the arm of the couch.
We remained quiet as I cleaned her wounds aside from the occasionally whimper or sob from her. Even I hadn't realized I had gotten this bad. I hated making people cry and that apparently didn't change when I did...Or did I. I swear if Mitch had seen us earlier, he wouldn't stop talking about the 'old Avi' for the next month. I finished and wrapped the gauze around her arms to prevent infection, then sat on the couch next to her. I pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her gently, doing my best to comfort her, though it only seemed to make her start crying again.
She rested her head against my chest and I watched Draco look up at us with confusion. Before long, her sobbing quieted and was replaced by calm and even breathing. Looking down, I saw her asleep and managed to stand up without waking her. I picked her up bridal style, her head on my shoulder, and carried her up to my room. There was no way I was letting her sleep on the couch. Even in this state, I'm not that kind of man.
I pulled the covers back and laid her down before taking her shoes off and covering her up. Glancing around the room, I pulled my chair over to the side of the bed and situated it so I could watch her, but without being so close it was creepy. Leaning over her, I gently kissed her forehead.
"This is the last night you'll spend alone. I never hated you either," I admitted quietly before sitting down in the chair and setting my alarm on my phone. Despite everything, I still had a recording to go to tomorrow. Kicking my shoes off and pulling my beanie off my head, I ran a hand through my hair before reaching over and turning off the lights. I don't know how long I stayed up watching her. I just know it was after midnight and then I fell asleep.
A/N:
Soooooo sorry this chapter is so loooooooooong!! I felt the need to make up for the past few days. I've been trying to find time to update, but haven't been able to since I've been moving and with the holidays coming up and all. Comment and Vote. I would still love some suggestions from you guys! Love you!
~*~*~Ash~*~*~