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Listening to all police try and figure out what happened was excruciating. They wouldn't leave, they just had to ask questions after questions, when couldn't they see I wasn't in the right state to talk. Apparently aunt Kelly brought the kids to a hotel tonight and was going to break it to the kids in the morning. I didn't realize how much I would miss her, until she's actually gone.
They took the body away almost instantly.
Thank god.
I don't think I could look at it any longer. It was already plastered in my mind for the rest of my life. They didn't see the note though, it was still scrunched in a ball, in my pocket. That note will be seen by no one. They don't need to know that I was the cause of her death.
There was nothing that Scott or myself could do to help the situation. I sat on the coach, in my own little world. Not wanting to talk to anyone. Scott had his arm around me, rubbing small circles in my back. He answered most of the questions that they asked me, because right now I just wasn't fit enough to even open my mouth.
It was just too much work right now.
Everything was changing all of a sudden. I almost couldn't keep up with everything. It was seriously so much pressure to me, I felt like I was going to explode any minute now.
When aunt Kelly came back home with the kids, it was horrific. Surprisingly Jason was the worst.
He threw things around, shouted a little, screamed at nothing. Not once did he show weakness though and cry in front of us. I found him in our room a couple of hour after they were home. He was curled up in a ball, in the free corner of the room.
"Jason, it's okay to cry in front of people you know. Everyone is upset, you don't have to be the strong on." I reassured him.
"I don't want to go down there." was all he whispered to me.
"You don't have to Jase, all I'm saying is, I'm here. I know how it feels losing someone who you were close to. It sucks, i know. The best way to help move on from it, is to be with people who are going through the same thing. Everyone down there is feeling the same as you. It's okay."
He wiped his nose in his sleeve and looked up at me. "I don't want to be weak. I hate beeing weak."
I huffed and plopped down on his bed. "You are anything but weak my friend. You are one of the strongest person I know. You don't take crap from anyone. I think Chloe was looking for you before, she was worried about you. We all are Jase."
"Everyone leaves." Was all he said.
"Sorry?" I didn't understand when he had his mouth on his shirt.
"I have no one Oakley. No one! Everyone leaves me, mum and dad didn't want me. I was taken from my sister. My friends don't care about me. I'm sick of people leaving." He screamed.
"That's a lie." I replied.
"What?"
"I care about you. Jason I promises you that I won't leave you. Your stuck with me for a long time, so don't you worry about that!" I smiled.
"Promise?" He looked at me with tear filled eyes.
"Promise." I nodded. He got up and hugged me tightly as if he didn't want to to go anywhere. He had the strangest mood swings possible.
"People care about you Jase, you just have to let them in. Chloe was freaking out. Worried sick that you would hurt yourself again. She was worried. I was worried."
"Should I go talk to her?" He asked backing out of the hug.
"Yeah that would be a good idea." I nodded.
Jason left me in my room, and that's when it hit me again. I was alone once again.
Mary, she was a pain in my ass, but a wonderful woman. She took care of me when no one would. She looked after me since I could walk. The thing that I still don't understand is why? Why did she take me in 16 years ago? She was one her own when I arrived, why did she take care of me?
There was so many questions that I had wanted to ask her. It was to late though, she was gone, and because of me.
Who was after me in the first place? Who would want me? I was just Oakley, boring Oakley with no parents nor friends.
I was still sitting on Jason's bed, when someone knocked on the closed door.
"Oakley, you in here?" A deep voice asked from the other side. A voice that I would recognize from miles away.
Scott.
"Yeah," I croaked out. I didn't want any company, but I new Scott would always be good company for me.
He walked in, and I saw a few tears in his eyes. He was crying.
"Scott are you okay?" I asked, patting the bed next to me.
"Don't worry about me. How are you?" He sat down and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
"Don't think it's kicked in yet." I shook my head.
"Oakley, can't I um, well can I ask you something?" He asked nervously.
"Anything."
"Why did you call me earlier? Why not your aunt or the police?"
I honestly hadn't thought about it. I was in a panic, I wasn't in the right state to talk to anyone else. So I called him.
"I panicked, when I saw her, I didn't know what to do. There was so much blood Scott, you would never understand how much blood there was." I honestly didn't want to remember that sight, but I knew that it would never leave me.
"Was anyone home when you got there?" He asked softly l, knowing that it was hard to talk about.
"Everyone was at the movies, I got home from work, I saw the door was broken open. I didn't know who could have been there. Mary shouldn't have been there." I stated.
"It was just a case, of wrong place at the wrong time." He shook his head.
"There was a note." I whispered only loud enough for him to hear.
"What note? The police said nothing about a note."
My hand reached into my front pocket, and I pulled out the scrunched up paper that I found.
I handed it to him and watched him slowly flatten it out.
As he read it, his eyes grew wide.
"Did you see anyone in the house Oakley?" He demanded.
I shook my head. "I don't want to die Scott."
He wiped the tear that had fallen from my eyes, and hugged me tightly.
"I won't let that happen." He kissed the top of my head. "I promise."
***
The funeral was horrific, hearing people's screaming and crying was just terrible.
All of us kids and Scott all sat at the front of the church, just waiting for it to be all over. All Mary's family was there, and I didn't know any of them. Mary didn't really get along with any of her family. I don't know why they here.
Aunt Kelly told a speech about her life and what it was like during their childhood together.
There wasn't a dry eye in the room. It was inspirational, it made me wonder what I could do to be like her.
Then came my turn. I was the one who spoke about her life, since I was with her.
Standing up in front of a crowd really wasn't my thing. Especially when my face was already red from crying.
Mary had lived an amazing life even though it was cut so short. She was a great friend to all; Mary was the kind of friend that stands by you when you need somebody to be there. She once saved my life, and I will be forever grateful for that.
If only I could turn back the clock and change time, I would do anything to bring her back. I don’t think I ever re-paid her for bringing me into her life when I was only one, but If I could I still don’t think that would be enough.
For though’s who new Mary, you would know, she wasn’t a women to just sit around and do nothing. Mary wasn’t told to suddenly give up her life for the 15 orphan’s like myself. She chose it herself, and because of her 15 kids was able to live. Because of her, I’m the way I am today. She was the best Mother anyone could have.
Mary didn’t have a normal adulthood. How could she when she was always occupied with us. She never went out, spent time with her friends. Nothing like that. But that’s what I admire about her. She felt so strong about taking care of me, she would never leave. Ever.
She was always there, whenever one of us needed her, she was there for you.
I don’t think I will ever forget her smell either. She wore the same perfume every day, for 15 years. It smelt like roses and lavender, but it also smelt safe and calming. I was always wanting to smell like that at school, thinking if I could smell like her, I could be like her.
What is it that we remember when we think of Mary? I think everyone who knew her very well would agree with me on this. It was her sense of humour. She was the kind of person that would make everyone laugh so hard that they’d end up crying. Who could forget about the stupid jokes she told when she was tired? How about all her blonde jokes? Far out! Just thinking about those jokes still makes me laugh. She was so out there when she starts those jokes. That is what I will truly miss about Mary. She could make me laugh when I am really sad. She always cheered me up when she knew I just had a bad day. That’s the trademark of Mary. She always wanted to make people happy.
She wanted to make all of us happy. She did that without even trying. She touched our lives, because she was always there. Throughout my childhood, she was my inspiration. As I got older, I realized what type of a person I wanted to be. I wanted to be like her. Caring and loving to people, strangers even. We fought all the time, Mary and I, but I guess in a way, that’s how we showed that we loved and cared for each other.
Mary’s death was sudden, and no accident. I remember when I got home could not believe it. Mary was too young but as it slowly occurred to me I have realized that Mary certainly lived her life to the fullest.
Mary was well-loved and had done so many things on earth for us but I’m sure she’ll do much more in heaven. I will forever be grateful to have known Mary. I will forever be grateful that Mary was there at the right place and at the right time to save my life.
I will forever be grateful for spending 16 years of my life with a person as amazing as her. All the memories I have shared with her will forever be cherished and remembered. Mary will forever live in my heart…
In our hearts.
Mary’s in heaven now and we’re here at her funeral. This is not the time for us to grieve about her death but it’s our time to celebrate her life. I know that I won’t ever forget Mary. She never wanted to see people cry, ever. She was always there to make everyone happy. So at this moment when we are about to lay her body at rest, let’s all think back and remember how Mary touched each and every our lives. How she made us laugh and how good Mary was as a person. This is not the moment for us to shed our tears but we should all be thankful that we were given the chance to have known such a beautiful women named Mary.
Mary will forever be missed but I know in the right time, I will meet her again. We will all meet Mary again and she’ll make us laugh until the tears pour out again.
I love you Mary.
Always have always will.
Finishing off my speech, some people were smiling at me. Thanking me for such a wonderful speech. While the speech just made everyone else cry. There were used tissues everywhere. It was a sad day for everyone. Even if you didn't know her, it was a moving speech. I myself, was just glad it’s over.
I sat back down in the queue and Scott wrapped an arm around me.
“That was beautiful Oakley, I didn’t realise you had it in you.” He smiled kissing the top of my forehead.
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” I smiled wiping the water from my eye.
“I love you Oakley.” These four words would have shocked me, but him saying that, just fell into place, It felt right. And deep down, I knew also.
“I love you to Scott.”
****
People came back to our place after the service and drank all our coffee and ate everything we had in the cupboard. There was nothing left, expect a frantic Kelly pacing up and down that there will be nothing for the younger ones in the morning.
Scott stayed by my side all during the day. We hadn’t really spoken since we told each other that loved one another. Everyone was sitting in the lounge room, making my completely uncomfortable. All the young kids were playing in the middle of the room, on the new carpet.
Right where she laid.
In the exact spot.
But I didn’t say anything, how could I? That would just cause more tears and screams. I sat there numb and cold, with Scott’s arm around me.
I didn’t want to be in this room, let alone in this house. It was just creepy and frightening, that whoever killed Mary, was still out there, and probably watching us right this minute.
That was what was frightening me the most. He or she might have been at the funeral earlier. They could have kissed me apologising for my loss. I didn’t even know which was killing me.
I didn’t speak after my speech; I didn’t have the energy to. I didn’t know half the people who were there; they couldn’t care less about me or the other kids.
To them, Mary was just a stupid girl to take us all in. That we were the reason she died. Least did she know that she was right. I was the reason that she was dead.
It was all my fault.
“Oakley? Oakley!” Someone brought me out of my thoughts.
I looked up and saw Chloe kneeling next to me.
“You were spaced out for ages, you okay?” She asked hesitantly.
I nodded slowly. Was I okay yet?
Looking around the room, I saw that we were the only two in the room.
“Where’d everyone go?” I asked.
“Oakley they all left like twenty minutes ago. Don’t you remember?” She questioned.
“Oh.” I felt really stupid now.
“Like I said, you’ve been out of it for awhile now, Scott and I were kinda getting worried.” She laughed nervously.
That’s when I finally felt cold and alone, Scott had left, he wasn’t next to me, holding me so I wouldn’t fall apart. He was gone.
“Oakley calm down, he’s in the kitchen with Aunty Kelly. She went shopping and bought half the supermarket. She is cooking dinner.”
I looked up at the clock and was taken back, whoa, it was seven at night. I was out for awhile. I smiled to myself at the thought of Scott helping in the kitchen. He was so nice. He didn’t even have to be here if he didn’t want to.
“Are you okay?” I asked her. I haven’t really spoken to anyone today other than Scott. I now kind of felt selfish.
“Yeah I’m alright now. Still a little shaken. I’m just trying to get this house back together.” She laughed.
“What?”
“You’re not the only one who can’t deal with it. Jason’s in his room sleeping now thank god. Before he was a mess, I mean literally. He was throwing things, screaming. He just can’t take it well I guess.” She shook her head.
Jason and Chloe were pretty close now. They’re the same age and always looking out for each other. I never really knew how Chloe became an orphan, I didn’t really think of asking. I just figured if she wanted us to know, she would have said something.
Chloe came here around two years ago. She was one of the newbie’s here. She fit in perfectly though when she got here. All the younger ones loved her, especially Liam. He’s only three, and still doesn’t have a clue what’s going on. A couple of hours ago he was running round the house calling for Mary. He wanted her to tell him a story before he went to sleep.
This was going to take a lot of getting used to.
It was defiantly going to be different around here from now on.
“Should I go talk to him?” I asked not sure what to do.
“He might me sleeping at the moment, but yeah maybe you talking to him might do some good.” She nodded.
With all little strength I had left in me, I walked slowly and carefully up into our room, and saw that he was lying in bed. I opened the door wider and saw that his eyes were open and he was crying.
“Jason,” I sighed. He looked up at me and wiped his face.
“Go away.”
I walked to his bed and sat on the edge of it.
“I’m not going anywhere; I’m going to sit with you until fall asleep.” I smiled.
He smiled at me, “I love you Oakley.”
Two I love you in a day. What’s going on with the world?
“Get some sleep Jase. You’re going to need it.”
Jase was on the verge of sleeping when he muttered.
“Oakley, promise me you won’t ever leave me. Everyone leaves me.”
This struck me. That’s why he was so upset. Everyone he was close with would leave. He was a broken boy, that just wanted to be rescued.
For his sake I hopped he adopted soon. He needed to be around a happy environment, with parents that loved him.
He fell asleep within minutes which I was glad about. He needed sleep. He was starting to form black circles under his eyes, which wasn’t good. He was only young.
The poor boy.
I was starting to get tired so without realising I was doing it, I laid down next to Jase and closed my eyes. It had been a really long day.
“Oakley?” Someone whispered in my ear.
My eyes slowly fluttered open and I saw Scott leaning over me.
“You okay there?” He smiled brushing the hair off my face.
“Sleepy.” I muttered.
He smirked. “Oakley, I’m going to stay down stairs alright. You rest up.” He kissed my forehead.
I nodded, and smiled into Jason’s pillow.
“I love you Oakley Green.” He smiled.
“Ilveyutosot.” I said half falling back asleep, half mumbling into my pillow.
“Be my girlfriend?” He asked suddenly.
I nodded my head, nearly at unconscious.
“Is that a yes?” He asked.
“Yay.” I smiled.
I heard Scott chuckle, then leave the room.
Everything was going to be okay.
Maybe not right now, but it will be.
THE END...
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Joking Joking, I wouldn't do that, It's just getting juicy, right now!!
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Claire xx