As I swooped down, I saw Triple Oh lying on the ground. The two bandits left to guard him had their hands glued to their faces by gobs of purple spaghetti foam.
'Jingle bells. Batman smells. Robin laid an egg . . . ,' Dunc was diving at a steep angle singing. The bandits were swatting at him with their Kalashnikovs. I tried to snatch the guns away but they were glued to their hands. I ended up lifting them a few metres off the ground before dropping them. They went down heavily, stuck together like a giant purple pretzel.
I landed beside Triple Oh almost stepping on his spray bottle. He was grimly trying to crawl toward Murga's suitcase.
'Take . . . the suitcase . . . radioactive . . . isotopes,' he gasped painfully and then, very inconveniently, he passed out.
I picked up the suitcase and grabbed his belt. The suitcase seemed weightless but it had a lot of mass. Triple Oh was considerably larger than Dad but I was able to lift his bulk with no effort.
Something whistled past my head and I heard gunfire. The two of the remaining bandits were walking back down the trail about 200 metres away and taking pot shots at us. Fortunately, their aim was poor. Dunc flew off, lights blinking, to distract them.
I must have been getting the hang of this anti gravity stuff because, even encumbered with Triple Oh and the suitcase, I made good time back to the crevice. There was no sign of anyone and my first thought was that they had all gone through the nexus, until I saw Miguel, draped face down over a boulder. I dropped Triple Oh, put two fingers on Miguel's throat and gasped with relief when I found a pulse. I checked his breathing. Normal.
I ran around madly looking for Mom and Dad but I saw no one except the bandits, far below us, who were trying to untangle the purple pretzel. Dunc skimmed the rock face on the updraft shaking his head. 'Nary a sign of any o' them,' he called. 'Murga and Porco have gone too.'
I was sick with rage and despair as I shook Miguel roughly. 'Wake up! What happened to Mom and Dad?'
He shook his head making an effort to speak. 'Murga took them.'
My thoughts were swirling with dread as I wandered around kicking at stones in frustration, until I hurt my toe. Maybe they had gone back to Ottawa. I had no clue who was controlling the nexus but we had to get back while it was still operating. If it closed, we would be stuck on the mountain.
Miguel slowly recovered and we scrambled into the crevice towing Triple Oh between us. I had a momentary fear that Murga had disconnected the electric bookcase but the rock face was still flickering with a ghostly green light. I pushed Triple Oh in front and we stumbled into the corridor at Silverwood School. I tripped over the suitcase and grabbed Licia to save myself hitting the floor. She misinterpreted my action and gave me a hug in return. 'Omigod Ziff you look terrible,' she gasped. 'What happened?'
I sucked in a lungful of dense, warm, soupy, wonderful air. 'Where's . . . Murga?' I coughed. 'Did you . . . see my parents? How long have we been gone?'
'I didn't see anyone and you only just left,' Licia added. 'Miguel, your face is blue!'
'Don't shut the electric bookcase off!' he gasped. 'Dunc's still behind us. And I need a hug, too. I'm freezing.' Licia wrapped her arms around him.
'I don't know how to turn it off,' she said in a perfectly reasonable voice. 'And, anyway, Oppy is not listening to anyone. Just look at that.'
The monitor was flashing urgently with the words,
WHAT THE *$!##!$* ARE YOU DUMMIES DOING TO MY INTERFACE COMPUTER. WHAT KLUTZ ENTERED A TWO YEAR DISPLACEMENT? I LEFT STRICT ORDERS NOT TO CHANGE THE DEFAULT SETTING. THIS MESS WILL TAKE DAYS TO SORT OUT!!!!!!
'Well that proves something,' I pointed out. 'Dr Zhang will have to believe us. Did you call him?'
'Yes. I left a message,' Licia said.
There was a loud honking as Dunc came flapping madly through the electric bookcase shedding feathers. Even with full reverse thrust from his wings he skidded across the corridor and slammed into the wall.
We all gaped silently until Dunc snapped, 'Will no one gee me a hand? Ah've got ma left pinky toe caught in my starboard pinions . . . an' ah've lost ma new hat.'
Licia, Miguel and I rushed to disentangle Dunc's webbed foot as he inspected a tattered wing. 'Wi' ye take a look at that. Those criminals 'av shot out ma navigation lights and three o' ma best feathers. Ah'm gonna need prosthetic pinions until I moult.'
'Dunc,' Licia exclaimed, 'you look awful. Are you okay?'
'Ah've spend half a day freezing mah tail feathers and ah'm in dire need of sustenance. Apart from that, ah'm fine. How's Ondy?'
'He's fine,' I said. 'Did you see my mother and father? And what about Murga?'
'Ah scoured the area. Nary a sign. They must have come through the nexus.'
I was feeling terrible, shaking with anger and grief. 'But they're not . . . here either,' I choked.
'Aye laddie. And that means Murga has gang elsewhen an' taken them with him.'
No one said anything while I wiped the tears running down my face. Licia handed me a tissue with a sympathetic smile.
The electric bookcase shut down with a loud clicking just as the loading dock doors crashed open revealing Beryl with her Uzi machine pistol in one hand and Pacman tucked in the other.
'Where is he?' she demanded grimly. 'Ziff, are you okay?'
'He's gone,' Miguel told her. 'We're safe.'
I tried to smile reassuringly. 'I'm okay.'
Beryl looked a little dazed. She put Pacman gently on the floor and started to dismantle her Uzi. I asked how she had managed to floor Murga with a little kick.
'Steel toed sneakers.' She grinned as she dropped Uzi parts into her shopping bag. 'But pardon me, folks, now that everything is under control, I have an urgent appointment with a large pepperoni pizza.' She tucked the sleeping Pacman under her arm and marched off.
'Pizza?' Miguel asked. 'It's chocolate we need.'
'I found some chocolate chip cookies in my locker,' Licia said pulling a bag from her back pack.
Suddenly, my knees started shaking so hard I could hardly stand up. I sat down suddenly and leaned back against the wall. 'I almost had my parents back.' I choked up again and took a deep breath. 'Gimme a cookie. I need chocolate.'
Licia sat down beside me and gave me a cookie. 'What happened?'
Miguel adopted a gravelly voice. 'It wasn't much fun, but the only one, to whimper, was Sam McGee.'
Dunc stuck his head in the cookie bag and swallowed three without blinking.
'Just in time.' Miguel snatched the bag from Dunc. 'I am desperately in need of chocolate.'
'Hey,' Dunc complained, 'leave a couple for me. Ah'm worn out giving Ziff flying lessons.'
'Did you say, "Jest in time?"' Licia asked Miguel. 'That's a perfect title for my biography of Dr Zhang - Doctor Ah-um,Time Jester. And will somebody tell me what happened?'
'Licia needs a sitrep,' Miguel mumbled, his mouth full of cookies.
'Murga drugged us,' I told her. 'The drug must have given us a craving for pizza and chocolate.'
Licia snorted. 'Miguel doesn't need a drug. He's a chocolate addict.'
Triple Oh woke up rubbing his head and groaning. 'The briefcase is lost. That swag bellied, poxy cretin!'
'Triple Oh,' I gasped with a mixture of anger and relief. 'We got the briefcase but Murga has gone missing again and so have my parents. Are you okay? '
'Thy parents are gone?' he asked, astonished. 'I am devastated. Thou rescued me, Ziff, but yet lost thy parents? Methinks Murga got the better of me. My heartfelt thanks for saving my life. And that debt, I vow to repay.'
'Just returning the favour,' I said. 'You came to rescue me. Why did you take on that bunch of bandits by yourself? Where was Theo? Where were we?'
'The Tian mountains in western China,' he explained. 'Theo called in sick and, when we observed negative mass at the nexus, I judged the ImmobilFoam would be enough to disable those dog-hearted knaves. Alas, Murga was too quick.'
'Negative what?'
I must have looked puzzled because he added, 'Time is relative. Gravity and time are both depend on mass. No mass, no gravity. If thou canst remove mass and yet keep the object, thou canst create negative gravity and time.'
He grinned at my baffled expression. 'It cannot be distinguished from magic.'
'Before you disappear again,' I demanded, 'what's going on. Why has Murga kidnapped my parents?'
'Thine grandsire, Professor MacPhun, was a master of genetics and developed a modification in thee before thou wert born. This endowed thee with a sense for time phase gravity shear and the ability to use gravity distortions. This was kept secret at the time as there was some controversy about his research into genetic brain enhancement for humans. Thou wert born at a time when all children were free of harmful genetic errors and most animals and plants were genetically engineered to produce beneficial improvements. Duncan was the result of one of his research projects and secretly, against all regulations, so wert thou.
'So Grandpa altered my genetic code. Is that why I can fly?'
Triple Oh shrugged sadly. 'He didn't think it would cause any problems. But Murga found out and tried to extort the knowledge from him by threatening thee and thy father. That was when thy mother, Alianor sent thee here . . . to protect you. She was an expert on time phase technology.'
'My birth mother? Alianor?' An expert in time?'
'Aye lad. Thy father did not tell thee?' Triple Oh pulled out his cell phone and showed me a photo of a blond woman with a baby. 'This is thy mother.'
'That's my mother?'
'Aye, she is. And that was thee with her.'
Dunc craned his neck over my shoulder to look at the photo. 'Thou wert a bonny bairn,' he honked softly.
Triple Oh looked at me sadly. Your father brought you here to get away from Murga. Alianor remained with your grandfather. When he realized he could not return, your father married Helen, here, in this time.
I turned to Dunc. 'Is this true.'
'Ah dinna ken. Ah was still in the egg at the time.'
'Aye 'tis true. He was but a baby goose following thy grandfather around after you had gone.'
'How did you meet Dunc?' Miguel asked Triple Oh.
'Hah! That was Ziff's grandfather's doing. When Dunc grew to full size, he had a problem. Dunc didn't want to spend his life with other geese so he asked me if I could employ him. That was the first time I met thy grandfather. He had spent a life time experimenting with genetically modified organisms and he specialized in improving the intelligence of animals. Dunc was one of his successes . . . But methinks he left out a few screws.'
Dunc honked his derision. 'Gloik, gloik, gloik.'
'What about Murga?' I asked.
'Aye . . . He did not give up. Kozak eventually found thy father prospecting for oil and gas in western China and told Murga. It must have been quite a shock when Murga showed up with a group of bandits after twelve years.'
'When your adopted mother, Helen, arrived in China looking for thy father, he kidnapped her also.'
I choked up at the thought of Mom being stuck on that mountain for weeks. I couldn't speak until I changed the topic.
'How is it I can fly?' I croaked.
'The nexus distorts the space-time field causing negative mass but only thou wert able to reflect gravity.'
'So, what now?' I asked. 'How are we going to find my parents?'
Triple Oh sighed. 'The Time Agency is tracking Murga. It will not be an easy task to rescue them but I promise we shall succeed.'
'Can I help?' I asked.
He sighed again. 'You can help by staying close to your home or Silverwood School so that Theo can protect you. Murga may try again to abduct you.'
Miguel was groping around in the bottom of the cookie bag. 'Hey,' he complained, 'Dunc has eaten all the cookies.'
Dunc belched loudly. 'Guluk gloyk. Ah didnna eat them all. It was just a wee bitty snack. Anyway, ah needs nourishment to repair ma feathers.'
'Agent Duncan MacPhun,' Triple Oh said pompously, 'Thou wert hired for surveillance. Methinks thou wert told to stay far away from trouble.'
'So, ah was supposed to stand aroond while this young laddie, ma nephew, got hisself killed?' Dunc snapped. 'And yeh were no a wee bit late arriving?'
'If thou wouldst learn that forty minutes means four tens,' Triple Oh protested, 'and not four sixes.'
Dunc interrupted. 'Ah didnna comprehend the way you apes count on ten finger. Professor MacPhun taught me to count in base six, an' forty means four sixes and zero ones.'
'He counts on six toes, would you believe?' Triple Oh explained. 'I cannot make sense of it.'
'Ma ancestors were pterodactyls,' Dunc groused, 'and we didnna see the need for all those extra toes.'
'You mean dinosaurs,' Licia corrected. 'The pterosaurs became extinct. You're descended from the flying dinosaurs.'
'Dinosaurs!' Dunc snapped. 'I dinna believe my ancestor was a tyrannosaurus.'
Triple Oh heaved himself ponderously to his feet and glanced at his cell phone. 'Murga's will not return here. So I must away.'
We all stared as a small Adelie penguin with oversized feet trotted along the sidewalk toward us.
'Does this penguin belong to you?' Licia asked Triple Oh.
'Carlos,' Triple Oh spoke to the penguin with a tone of incredulity, 'what good is an ariel reconnaissance vehicle that cannot fly. I told thee to send the crow.'
The penguin waved its flippers in a helpless gesture and said, 'Ollie, the crow is out of service. Only the penguin was available. Would you mind bringing it back.'
Triple Oh groaned. 'Pray call me not Ollie. Did you drag Theo out of his sick bed at the tavern?'
The penguin bowed and lifted a flipper in a lazy salute. 'Aye, aye, Double Oh Naught . . . sir. Theo is on the way with the Hog.'
The Hog, Theo's motorcycle, blatted through the parking lot as Triple Oh consulted a small object he pulled from his pocket.
'Ha! By the tingling in my toes, something wicked this way goes.'
'Shakespeare didn't say that.' Licia sounded offended. He wrote, "by the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes." It's from Macbeth.'
'I shall tell him,' Triple Oh shouted over the racket from the Harley as he pulled a helmet over his head. 'A thousand pardons. Carlos has a trace on Kozak. Fare thee well. Oh, don't forget. Stay at 69 Sumac or Silverwood School. We have protection on both locations.' He picked up the suitcase and swung his leg over the rear seat.
'Hey!' Dunc interrupted. 'Yeh're no gonna forget aboot me. Ah'll no make it back wi' half ma pinions shot awa', Guluk gloyk. Ah need groond transport.'
Triple Oh's sigh was audible over the noise of the hog's motor as he shifted back and helped Dunc scramble aboard and squashed himself behind Theo.
'D'yeh no think we could stop by MacDuff's for a take-away MacHaggis?' Dunc asked. 'Ah'm a wee bit famished. Oh, and afore ah forget, ah need a new hat.'
Triple Oh's reply was fortunately lost as Theo gunned the throttle and maneuvered into the street, Triple Oh's posterior overhanging the back end of the seat, the penguin tucked one arm and the suitcase dangling from the other. Dunc started singing, 'Ollie, Ollie give me your answer do,' and the penguin joined in the chorus, 'But you'll look sweet, upon the seat, of a bicycle made for two-ooooooo.'
We waved goodbye until they were out of sight and then Miguel asked plaintively, 'Any more cookies?'
I screwed up the empty bag and threw it at his head.
❘❘ ❘❘❘ ❘❘❘❘❘❙ ❙❙ ❙❙ ❙❘❘❘❘ ❘❘❘❘ ❘❘
Author's Note. This is the end of Book 1 (under cover goose). To those who kept reading to the end, thank you for your encouragement and perseverance. You may be pleased to know I have completed Book 2 and will start publishing soon. ziff
Yonny and Treeka have hacked this Wattpad account with the following message. (which I cannot delete) :-
Please help us find the Great Mother of All Things.
Muah-hahahaha *aak**cough**cough**cough**ahem* hahaha. (Cool, eh?)