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Knox sat on the sofa, pretending to watch TV in the living room with keen interest. However, he was really listening to his parents argue. It got worst everyday. His dad's voice got louder, his words cold and harsh. His mom's tears were rapid and just as desperate as her pleading.
Even at the tender age of six, he knew this was not good. He didn't understand why they argued so much. But he knew it was wrong. They are his parents; they are supposed to love each other and give each other cooties. At least, that's what his friend, Andre, had told him.
Moments later, the noise had died down and young Knox figured they had stopped arguing. Thinking the coast was clear, he got off the chair and ran up stairs to comfort his mama. He ran down the hall to their room and opened the door. In the room he saw his mommy, Loretta, curled into a ball in a corner, sobbing. His dad was making trips to and from the closet, putting clothes, shoes and accessories into a bag. Knox ran to the bed and hopped on it, sitting next to his dad's luggage.
"Going on a trip, Da?" Asked the young boy. The man stopped what he was doing and looked at his son. Or who he had thought was his son. He stared at the boy with resentment filled eyes. He'd raised him for six years just to find out that he wasn't his. He'd given the boy his last name but Knox wasn't apart of the Reid family. The eyes, the grain of hair, the nose that the man thought had come from his genes weren't his at all.
"He's your son, Henry, I swear!" Knox looked over to his mom to see that she had gotten out of the corner. She had been watching them and had noticed the look on Henry's face. She went over to the bed to rub a hand over Knox's hair. She hugged him to her breast and kissed his forehead, then looked at Henry. She said,"He's your son, Henry. He's our son."
The man, Henry, rolled his eyes and continued to pack. He couldn't believe that he'd been with Knox's lying mother for almost a decade.
He'd just turned twenty when he'd met Loretta, all those years ago. She was only thirteen but she'd had the body of a full grown woman. Which was why he had talked to her.
She was pretty tall and young in the face, so his first thought was, with a body like that, shorty has to be atleast eighteen. If he'd known she was five years away from being legal he would've walked away. And Loretta had known that. So she had let him believe she was older than what she really was; telling him she was in college, majoring in medicine, that she had her own place and everything.
He hadn't found out about her real age, or her condition-she managed to hide everything extremely well- until three years later when she told him she was pregnant. She had shown up at his door step in hysterics, telling him her life was over. Trying to calm her down, he'd said,"Loretta, baby, your life isn't over. We gon' take care of this baby, okay? I got you. You can go back to college later on. Everything is gonna be alright."
"You don't understand, Henry. My mother is gonna kick me out of the house. She's gonna disown me!" Loretta had been raised in a christian household. Her mother was very strict. She didn't know about Loretta's situation but Loretta had a feeling that she would find out soon. She'd get put out in no time and she needed some kind of leverage.
"Baby," Henry, started, "How is she gonna kick you out of your own house and why would she disown you?"
"It's not my house..." She mumbled, avoiding the second question and playing with her fingers.
"What d'you mean it ain't your house?" He asked. Loretta took a deep breath and looked into his eyes, preparing for the worst.
"Henry, I don't own the house, my mom does. And she's gonna disown me because, not only am I pregnant out of wedlock... but I'm pregnant out of wedlock at sixteen years old." Henry's heart had stopped when he heard her say sixteen. He couldn't believe it!
Sixteen fucking years old! He could go to jail. He'd had sex with this young ass girl, which could be considered as rape, and had gotten her pregnant. At that moment he could've killed the young girl. She'd been lying to him the entire time.
And he was pissed at himself for believing it. For three years, three fucking years! Then he'd realized that he'd been fucking a thirteen year old girl, a little baby. He had felt like a pervert. Seeing the mix of fear and anger in his eyes, Loretta had felt the need to say something. "Please don't be mad at me, baby, please. I know I should've told you my real age from the jump but the voice wouldn't let me."
The Voice?, Henry had thought. Not only was she young but she was crazy to. Boy, did he know how to pick 'em or what? Holding back his temper as best as he could, Henry had politely asked the girl to go home and give him space to think. That day, as he'd watched her get into her mom's car-which she'd told him was hers as well-he'd had a feeling that she was going to be around for a long time.
And here he was, six years later, still hearing and dealing with her lies. But this was the last straw. He had dealt with a lot of shit with Loretta, but making him take care of a seed that hadn't come from him was something he would not deal with.
Throwing his last shirt into the suit case, he zipped the bag up and left the room. A desperate Loretta and a confused Knox followed behind him as he went down the stairs and to the door. Henry opened the door, walked to his car and opened the trunk, putting his bag in it then closing it. He walked to the driver's side of the car and got in, starting the car up.
Knox and his mom stood at the front door of the house, silently, watching him. Knox and Henry's eyes met. A part of Henry was telling the man to stay in the young boy's life. He couldn't deny that he loved Knox. But the other part of him was being selfish, and he just refused to take care of a kid that wasn't his own.
Letting the selfish side overrule the more reasonable part of him, Henry backed out of the drive way, leaving Loretta and the young boy behind.
Knox went back to the living room after his dad left. In his mind, his dad had went on a trip and was coming back soon. However, Loretta stood by the door, looking out, hoping Henry would come back, apologizing, after realizing how pointless his life would be without her.
She stood by that door for nearly two hours, but Henry was still gone. So she finally closed the door. She finally realized he wasn't coming back.
Loretta walked into the living room and looked at the small figure that was Knox. He had fallen asleep on the sofa while watching Spongebob. She observed his adorable little face. She could tell her son was going to be a ladies' man when he grew up. She smiled a bit at the thought of her little man introducing her to his future wife.
'No,' said the voice, 'don't think like that!'
"Why not?" Loretta asked, aloud.
'Knox belongs to you and you only.'
"I don't understand."
'Don't you get it, Loretta? Henry left because he isn't the one for you. Knox is.'
"My son?" Loretta couldn't believe it. But then again the voice had never steered her wrong. If the voice said they were meant to be then they were meant to be. She walked over to Knox's little figure and sat down beside him. She caressed his little face.
She ran a hand over his hair, then let it travel from his head, over his chest and rested it on his jeans, right over his little manhood. If they were going to be together, she had a lot to teach him. She had best get an early start.
Leaning down, she kissed Knox's forehead, then his cheeks and finally his lips. She repeatedly placed kisses all over his face as she slowly unzipped his pants, her hands going inside his Spider-Man undies.
She started stroking her son, arousing him, and causing him to wake up. When Knox's visión cleared, he looked at his mom then at the hand in his pants. Knox was-for the third time today-confused. Why was his mommy's hand in the same area that she'd told him not to let anyone touch?
"Knox?" He looked back up at her."Do you love mommy?" Knox quickly nodded his head."Say it."
"I love you, mommy," he said, with a cute little grin.
"Good boy," She told him, giving him another kiss on the lips."You'd do anything for mommy, right?" Knox nodded his head again."And you promise to never, ever leave her, right?" He nodded his head once more.
"Good boy," She kissed him him on the lips but this time was a bit different. This time she stuck her tongue in the little boy's mouth, moving it around then taking it out and biting on his lip. She could tell she had put a shock in him from the way he was looking at her.
I'm not sure about this, she thought to herself, he's so young.
'No, Loretta, he's enjoying it, look,' Loretta glanced down and saw that her son was now very erect in her hand. Or atleast as erect as a six year old boy could get. 'He likes it, see? I told you, he's made for you.'
Loretta started to stroke him with her hand again and watched as Knox's breathing picked up. The voice was right once more. He may be young but he was still a male. Anything a man would like, a boy would like even more.
"Knox, sweetheart, mommy's gonna teach you some things, okay?" She made the boy stand up and take all of his clothes off before telling him to lay flat on his back on the sofa. She took him in her right hand, and put him in her mouth.
As Knox lay on the sofa watching his mom give him his "lesson", he thought about his dad. He wondered where he'd went and how soon he would return. Little did Knox know that his daddy was long gone and he'd taken his mommy's sanity with him.
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A/N:
This is not a story about incestuous love.
It's more so about Knox being molested and sexually abused by his mom in his adolescence and how it affects him in his adulthood.
Note from author (as an adult):
Please note this is a horribly stereotypical depiction of schizophrenic mental disorders, written by a middle schooler who had an interest in psychology and had just discovered Toni Morrison (iykyk).
And...yikes. I keep this up because I may revise and come back to it someday.
However, I want to state that people who have been diagnosed with schizophrenia and suffer from symptoms, such as paranoia and hallucinations, should not be discriminated against or vilified. They are NOT serial killers/monsters/molesters. Please treat all people with kindness and respect.