"There are far far better things ahead than any we leave behind." — C.S Lewis
29
"Hindi ka sasamang mag out of town bukas?" Malungkot na saad ni Karylle habang nakayakap ito sa leeg ng nobyo.
"I can't. I'm sorry." Matabang na sinagot ni Vice.
"Bakit? You've already been gone for a week. I've missed you."
"They need me at the office."
"But Vhong is coming."
"Exactly the reason why I can't go. Wala na nga si Vhong, mawawala rin ba ako?" Vice explained.
"Di na lang ako sasama sa kanila. Dito na lang ako."
"No, sumama ka. Your whole family's gonna be there."
"But, you won't be there." Saad muli ni Karylle na nakapagpakilig sa binabaeng puso ni Vice which made him smile, he grabbed Karylle by her waist at pinaupo sa kaniyang mga hita as he smelled her scent of vanilla.
Vanilla?
"You smell different."
"I do?" Maang-maangang tanong ni Karylle.
"Pinalitan mo yung shampoo mo?" Tanong ni Vice.
Natawa naman si Karylle. Kailangan na nga yata talaga niyang masanay na ang boyfriend niya ay hindi lang normal na boyfriend. He is gay, a woman at heart. He notices small details, ultimong ang simpleng pagpalit mo ng lotion at shampoo napapansin niya.
"Maybe that's my lotion."
"Vanilla? Really?" Natatawa si Vice habang tinatanong at inamoy ulit si Karylle.
"Oo, why? Ayaw mo ba nung amoy? Sabihin mo lang hindi yung tinatawanan mo pa ako." Pagtatampo ni Karylle, akma sana siyang tatayo pero pinigilan siya ni Vice at mas hinigpitan ang yakap dito.
"Do you know that vanilla stimulates sexual desires with your partner? That's scientifically proven." Nanlaki ang mata ni Karylle.
"So... are you seducing me, miss?"
"Kapal neto." Natawa si Karylle but then she turned red, only proving her guilty. Yes she really did some research about scents.
"Naku, naku, naku. Okay lang. Seduce me all you want, Ney. Ngayon pang gustong gusto ko ng magkaron ng Alfonso." He said then kissed her.
Karylle's mood suddenly changed. Dumako pa ang paningin niya sa computer ni Vice na nakabukas, ang wallpaper nito ay ang recent photo nila with Alfonso kung saan hawak siya ni Karylle at nasa likod naman nila si Vice na nakayakap sa kanila.
It was Vice's favorite photo. Mukha daw kasi silang isang pamilya. He has been very vocal about someday turning that photo into reality with Karylle. And he was also fond of Alfonso, kung papayag nga lang si Anne, siguro ay hihiramin niya pa ang bata sa mga magulang nito.
"Ang cute niya no?" Tanong ni Vice kay Karylle.
"Sobra." Sagot ni K.
"Gawa tayo niyan." Bulong ni Vice.
"Ikaw talaga. Anyway, what do you want for dinner?" Pag-iiba niya ng topic, Vice noticed, nakaramdam nanaman siya ng lungkot. Every time he opens this topic ay palagi na lang nag-iiba ang mood ni Karylle.
"Ikaw." Then he wiggled his eyebrows after. He just masked his disappointment by making a joke. He doesn't want Karylle to feel bad or even feel pressured by it.
Kung kailangan niyang maghintay ng matagal ay gagawin niya. Because if there's one thing he realized, it is that Karylle is always worth the wait.
Pero may mga pagkakataon lang talaga na sadyang hindi na lang maitago ang nararamdaman. Kusa na lang itong lumalabas sa mga maliliit na kinikilos natin. She felt it. She felt how disappointed Vice was when she showed him that she was not interested with the idea of getting pregnant and having a baby with him.
Kung sana ngang ganun na lang. Kung sana ngang ayaw niya talaga.
"Sorry."
Napaangat ng tingin si Vice mula sa binabasang mga papeles sa kaniyang mga kamay. Nakita niya ang malungkot na mga mata ni Karylle na nakatitig sa kaniya. Pagkatapos kasi nilang kumain ay naisipan niyang bumalik na muna ng kwarto upang pagtuunan ng pansin ang trabaho para lang hindi niya maisip ang kaunting tampong namuo sa puso niya. Palilipasin na lang niya para hindi na sila mag-away na dalawa.
"For what?"
"F-for brushing you off. Kanina, while we were talking about Alfonso."
"Shhh. Halika nga dito... don't even think about it okay? Medyo nakakatampo pero hindi naman kita pinipilit. Okay ako. Kaya kong maghintay. Naiintindihan ko naman kung ayaw mo pa."
"Gusto ko. Gustong gusto ko na." Bulong ni Karylle.
"Let's not think about that yet okay? Mahaba pa ang panahon. Marami pang pwedeng mangyari. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad." Pinunasan ni Karylle ang luhang namuo sa mata niya atsaka tumango sa sinabi ni Vice.
"Psst. Tama na yan, Ney." Hinila ni Vice si Karylle malapit sa kaniya at tinulungan siyang punasan ang mga luhang iyon.
"Diba sinabi ko sayo na kapag kasama mo ako, ayokong nakikitang malungkot ka? Ayokong umiiyak ka. Gusto ko lagi kang masaya, lagi kang nakangiti, kasi lahat ng sakit diyan, lahat ng kulang diyan, gusto kong ako ang sasalo, ako ang pupuno." Marahan niyang sinabi sa nobya.
"Can you please stop being so sweet. Mas lalo akong nagui-guilty, Ney." Sinabi ni Karylle at natawa naman si Vice.
"Ang cute mo talaga, mahal ko. Wag kang ma-guilty. You deserve everything. You deserve more." Tinaas niya ang baba ni Karylle at marahang hinalikan ang noo ng nobya.
He never thought it was possible for him to love Karylle more than he already does. It just seems to grow bigger every waking day they spend with each other. And by seeing her smile because of him, it just makes him so sure of marrying her more.
"Paano ko sasabihin sa kaniya Anne? Nahihiya ako. Natatakot ako." Pagmamaktol ni Karylle sa pinsan niya. They were already at the beach, dito sa Batangas kung saan kinasal ang pinsan niya. Kung saan una silang nagkita ni Vice.
"Mahal ka ni Vice. Alam kong matatanggap niya kung ano ang kaya at hindi mo kayang ibigay. He loved you even before he even thought of wanting a child. Don't overthink, K. Listen to his opinions first." Payo ni Anne.
"Magtu-two piece ka lang? Ana Karylle utang na loob, wag." Sinabi bigla ni Anne nang makita niyang kinuha ni Karylle ang royal blue na two piece swimsuit sa kaniyang bag.
"Aray nakaka-offend yun Anne ha?!" Binato ni K ang swimsuit niya sa pinsan.
"Magagalit kasi sa akin si Waks pag nakita niya!" Anne mentally slapped herself. Her and her big mouth. Muntik nanaman siyang madulas.
"Pano niya makikita? He's not here. Let's not take photos then." Sabi ni K.
"I-I mean party kasi yun. Madaming lalaki. So eto, suotin mo to. May dinala akong puting dress ipatong mo na lang diyan sa two piece mo."
"You mean to tell me mamayang hapon pa talaga tayo lalabas ng kwarto? And stop, do I really have to put so much make-up? We're at the beach for Christ's sake." Pag-ilag ni Karylle habang lalagyan na sana siya ng make-up ng pinsan.
"Shh! Do not use the name of the Lord, our God, in vain. Just trust me on this okay? You'll thank me later."
"Kayo may napaghahalataan na ako sa inyo ah." Sinabi ni K.
"Lagi ka namang may napaghahalataan and so far lagi kang tamang hinala, so just quit it, okay?—aray ko! Yung buhok ko!" Sigaw ni Anne nang hilain ni Karylle ang buhok nito. Masayang nagtatawanan ang magpinsan at bigla silang napahinto.
"I wish Arianne's here. Mas masaya." Biglang sinabi ni Karylle.
"That really came from you? Natutuwa ako. You guys are getting along well again."
"She's still Arianne, Anne. And I kinda miss her." It's true when they said blood really is thicker than water. Siguro nga ay napatawad na niya si Arianne at mukhang napatawad na rin naman siya nito. She no longer flinch with the mention of her name. Wala na ang dating sakit na dulot ng kahit na simpleng pagbanggit sa pangalan nila.
"Tara na, bilis! I already miss Alfonso." Pagmamadali ni Anne sa kaniya. They spent half of their afternoon inside Karylle's room kaya inis na inis na ang huli.
"Sino ba kasing may sabi na wag tayong lumbas dito? Batong bato na ako Anne."
"Kaya nga tara na, labas na tayo!"
"Wala namang party eh. Ang tahimik kaya." Puna ni Karylle habang naglalakad sila sa shore. The sun was still up pero pababa na rin ito. The sea was calm, tama lang rin ang ihip ng hangin. It was warm pero presko. The perfect weather, it was perfect. If only Vice was there with her.
"Ano?" Tanong ni Karylle nang biglang tumigil si Anne sa paglalakad. She saw a stem of pink rose with a black paper attached to it on the sand.
"Pick it up." Sabi ni Anne sa pinsan. Tinitigan siya ni Karylle and then Anne motioned her to do it. And she did.
"I didn't plan on falling in love with you and I doubt if you planned to fall in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us."
Karylle read when she opened the paper she just picked up.
"Rose? The Notebook quote? What is this for?" Nagkibit balikat lang si Anne at patuloy na naglakad. Karylle was really weirded out right now.
"Anne ano ba to? Ang tahimik. Walang tao—"
"Ate K!" Biglang may tumawag sa kaniya. Paglingon niya ay nakita niya si James and Nadine na tumatakbo papunta sa kaniya.
"Oh, asan yung iba?" Tanong ni K. Pero kagaya ni Anne ay tahimik lang ang dalawa at nagkibit balikat, sabay inabot ni Nadine ang isa nanamang pink rose with a letter atsaka siya niyakap nito.
"Sobrang thank you sa lahat, Ate."
"Ano to?" Takang taka na si Karylle.
"Read it." Sinabi lang ni Nadine.
"Oh god." Hindi napigilan ni James at bigla niyang niyakap ang kaniyang Ate. "Thank you." Mahinang binulong ni James.
"You don't find love, it finds you. It's got a little bit to do with destiny, fate and what's written in the stars."
Iyon ang nakasulat sa papel. She can feel tears building up in her eyes. Somehow she already guessed what was happening.
Patuloy lang siyang sumasabay sa lakad ng mga kasama niya. Before she knew it ay biglang may yumakap sa likod niya. It was Kathryn na tinatago ang mukha sa likod ni K. Was she crying? It looks like she is. Sunod ay inabot ni Daniel ang isa nanamang rosas na mayroon nanamang letter.
"What is this all about guys?" Umiiyak na si Karylle. Niyakap siya ng mahigpit ni Daniel at hinalikan sa noo. "Salamat Ate." Sinabi ni Daniel at saka ito ngumiti.
"You are the love that came without warning. You had my heart before I could say no."
Iyon ang nakasulat sa rosas. After she read that, as if on cue, ay biglang may tumugtog sa background. First key pa lang ay alam na agad niya kung ano ang tinutugtog sa piano. It was La Vie En Rose. Vice has told him how much he loves that song back when he was in France.
"It means life in pink. Kanta ko yan sayo. You are my pink in this world full of black and white." Parang narinig niya ang boses nito noong sinabi sa kaniya iyon ni Vice.
Punas na lang ng punas ng luha si Karylle. Biglang lumapit si Gabbie at Ryan na kapwa umaagos ang mga luha sa mata.
"Bakit umiiyak kayo?" Tanong ng umiiyak ring si Karylle. At nagsitawanan naman ang lahat. Inabot naman ni Gabbi ang isa nanamang rosas sa kaniya.
"Thank you for everything Ate K." Umiiyak na sinabi ni Gabbi habang nakayakap kay Karylle.
"Salamat Ate K. Salamat." Iyak rin ni Ryan. Tumatawa naman sila dahil nakakatawa talaga ang itsura ni Ryan habang umiiyak.
"You're the last thing my heart expected."
Iyon ang nakasulat sa bulaklak.
There were a lot of people handing out roses to her.
Next was Vhong and Alfonso, nakaipit ang rosas kay Alfonso as if siya ang nag-aabot nito.
"You'd be surprised, who the love of your life turns out to be. After all, Adventure fell in love with Lost."
The quote said. Lumalabo na ang paningin ni Karylle at iyak lang siya ng iyak. Nakita niya ang mga magulang ni Vice na naroon, only proving to her that she was right all along. There was a surprise. Tama siya sa mga hinala niya. Bumuhos lalo ang luha niya nang makita niya ang kaniyang ina na may hawak ring rosas.
"All I wanted is for you to be truly happy, Kaykay. Mama loves you so much. I am very happy for you." Sinabi ng mama niya atsaka inabot ang rosas sa kaniya. She stayed there hugging her mom. Swaying through the music. She never hugged her this way ever. Ngayon lang and it did felt so good.
"You were an unexpected surprise, the defining moment. The collision of stars that slammed into me hard and sent my neat little world plummeting into the ocean. I never expected it to be you, you know? But it is you. It's all you. And now there's no looking back."
Nang mabasa niya iyon ay halos hindi na siya makahinga sa kakaiyak. Gulong gulo na ang isip niya. Hinahanap niya si Vice at gusto niyang makausap ito. Yung silang dalawa lang. she appreciates everything. All the effort he must have put in just to make this happen pero mahirap pag kumalaban na ang isip sa puso.
Sa paglalakad niya ay hinarap siya ni Anne sa dagat, facing the sunset. Nag ring ang phone ni Anne at inabot niya ito kay Karylle.
"Hey." Sabi ng nasa kabilang linya.
Karylle: asan ka?
Vice: Nakatayo ka on the same spot kung saan una tayong nag-usap. Sa harap niyan is the same spot where you almost drowned. Well, sabi mo kasalanan ko iyon so, sorry.
Karylle: Vice...
Vice: This is also the same spot where I first kissed you, well ikaw yug unang humalik. Haha. It was so wrong that night but it felt so right.
Karylle: Vice nasan ka?
Lumingon si Karylle para hanapin si Vice but she failed. He was not there. Paglingon niya ay nakita niya nga ang puno kung saan sila nagstay ni Vice that night. The first time they talked to each other... the place where they also kissed. How did he remember everything?
Vice: Ney, look at the sun. Count with me... 5...
K: 5...
She did count with him. Kasabay ng magulo niyang isip.
4... gulong gulo na siya...
3... hindi niya mapigilan ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya...
2... ang ganda... ang ganda ng nakikita niya, but she shouldn't be selfish.
"One..." pagkasabi nila ng sabay ay nawala na ang araw sa harap niya. Napalitan na ito ng kulay rosas na hinaluan ng asul at kahel sa kalangitan. The skyline was breathtaking. It was perfect. Parang may naiwang pintura sa tubig ng karagatan dahil sa kalulubog lang na araw. She was speechless. This was too much to take in.
"Give your heart and soul to me
And life will always be La Vie En Rose"
She heard him sing behind her kasabay ng tunog ng piano. Halos pabulong lang ang pagkanta ni Vice, he was singing only for her. And then she felt his breath at the back of her neck at isang malaking pink na rosas ang tumambad sa mukha niya.
"Vice." Haharap sana siya kaya lang ay pinigilan siya ni Vice.
He opened the letter that came with the rose pero bago pa man niya mabasa iyon ay nagsalita na si Vice.
"Someday you will find the one who will watch every sunrise with you until the sunset of your life." He read.
"And I think I already found her." Dagdag ni Vice atsaka humarap kay Karylle.
"Will you be with me through every sunrise and sunsets?" Tanong ni Vice kay Karylle.
Patuloy lang ang pag iyak ni K at halos hindi niya matingnan si Vice sa mga mata.
Napatingin si Karylle sa mga taong naroon. Her whole family was there, mga tita niya, pinsan niya, mga kapatid niya. Vice's parents were also there. Andun ang Team Karylle. Lahat ay naluluha marahil siguro sa kaligayahan. Unti unti niyang naramdaman ang pagliit ng mundo niya nang dumako ang paningin niya sa biglang lumuhod na si Vice.
This man... this man that she loves most.
"Ney, will you marry me."
She knew it will come. Tumingin siya sa mga mata ni Vice at nakita niya ang kaligayahan at excitement sa mga mata nito.
Napailing si Karylle. She could hear gasps from all the people. It was so familiar in her ears.
"K-Karylle?" Nakita niyang nanlaki ang mga mata ng nobyo.
"I'm sorry, Vice."