Dating Guys For Mother [girlx...

By midnightliss

28.6K 358 36

Vye is a normal seventeen year old lesbian the only problem is that her mother doesn't want to accept it. To... More

Chapter 1 *Pedo Bear*
Chapter 2 *What A Beautiful Moose Arse It Is*
Chapter 3 *Don't Put Me Into The Wardrobe*
Chapter 4 *Unicorn Hotdogs*
Chapter 5 *Where else have I danced naked?*
Chapter 6 *Dyke, you took my clothes.*
Chapter 7 *Dancing Like There Is No Tomorrow*
Chapter 8 -*COFFEE!!"
Chapter 9 *Brain Cells into Skittles*
Chapter 11 *It's Grandma Fanny*
Chapter 12 *Dyke Up*
Chapter 13 *Motivation Fairy*

Chapter 10 *My Hair*

1.4K 21 4
By midnightliss

Not edited but here, sorry this took forever :) but it's here haha :P 

 The Pretty Reckless - Zombie >>>>> Awesome song :P

Chapter 10 *My Hair*

My fingers played over the keypad of my phone. Do I call? What would I say? Thank you? No a little too desperate, they won't go for it. Is that too pushy, we haven't spoken in ages. The phone vibrated in my hand making me jump.

"Fudge it." I swiped my phone from the floor picking it up. "Hello?"

"How's your head?" The male voice made my stomach drop.

"Umm... Fine." I rubbed the back of my head where a lump was forming.

"Look I think I know why you reacted like that, I was talking to Sam last night."

My heart jumped at Sam's name. Wow that was strange. "Yeah," I said slowly.

"She said you don't really date guys."

Thank you Sam, a choir of angels sung in my head, bursting into choirs. This hell would finally be over and then I'll..."Sorry what?" I stopped dancing realising that he had been talking to me for the last few minutes in the middle of my heavenly moment.

"We should take it slow, look are you free tonight?"

"What?" I fell off the desk, face palming on the floor.

"What was that?" Ryan asked.

"WHO DIED?!?!" Forest screamed running in. "OMG, OMG, OMG, what did you do girl?" She took my hand standing me up.

I stared at her dazed, "When did you get here?" I mumbled.

Forest grabbed my phone, "Hello, she'll call you... Moose Arse?" Forest giggled, "One moment." She covered the phone with her hand. "I need to take this, IDA!" Forest jetted out of the room laughing in a high pitched squeal, "Back."

"WHAT?" Ida moaned waking into my room; she wore a baggy t-shirt which was draped to her legs, "What did you do?" She mumbled, slump down next time me before falling asleep on the bed.

I rubbed my face in bewilderment; it didn't hurt too much, "It's three in the afternoon why are you tired?"

"I was out with this guy and we ended up killing our livers. I can't wait till you're 18." Ida mumbled curling into a ball.

"Sounds like fun," I mumbled absent mindedly rubbing her leg.

"Mmmm... That's nice." Ida smiled, her eyes still closed.

My hand continued to rub her skin before I finally pulled it away. Her clothing seemed too large for her body; I know she liked thick clothing but... "Ida? Whose top is that?"

"Mmmm... What?" She mumbled tucking her head into the over large jersey top. "Eww why does your room smell of boy? Please don't tell me you've turned into a Dyke again!"

"When was I a Dyke?" I squealed, pulling her head out of the top.

"About a week ago, you never wore dresses..."

"I still don't."

"Or lacy pants..."

"Only sometimes..."

"Or heals!"

"I still don't do that!" I yelped. "That boy smell is your top."

A scream echoed from the living room. Ida cried out, falling face first on the floor. I ran out of the room, almost slamming into an oncoming Forest. Her hands waved crazily in the air.

"Vya! Some ugly man is in the kitchen."

"Kitchen?" Ida asked her eyes suddenly sparked. "Oh no."

Forest leaped in front of me waving her hands in my face while leaping around me. "The man looks uglier then ass rape."

"FOREST!" I barked. A door slammed in the living room causing me to hop passed Forest into the living room. Bottles littered the floor along with some slimy stuff. I picked up one of the many on the floor. "What is..."

"Vya...don't move," Ida screamed, "Slowly put the bottle down and walk away slowly."

"What is it?" I slowly lowered the bottle to the floor before stepping away from it.

"I don't know." Ida grinned, "You know you're late for college."

I checked my watch, it was only 9. Wait NINE. I yelled jumping about three feet in the air. "Why didn't you tell me?" I yelled at Forest who was still talking on the phone.

I jumped into the shower screaming words that even a road hog biker would cringe at. After my lovely 5 minute scrub down using cold water I grabbed some clothes that smelled clean. As I yanked my jeans on, toppling out of the front door I landed into a nice pair of squishy moobs. That's right not boobs not pecks moobs, the cousin of boobs and pecks that no one wants to admit being related to but has to invite to family parties.

I pulled back feeling the chest sweat dripping down my face. “Morning Mr Ida’s dad.” I wanted desperately to spit a chest hair from my mouth as I ran down the stairs. I definitely needed to throw up when I get out of sight of that man. He never said much but he was one hairy, scary, beary, sweaty man.

The bus trip was annoyingly slow, I mean why do people insist on taking just the one stop when they can walk down the road to it. A load of Fatty McFat Fats if you ask… I paused goring at the girl was auburn hair. She was so cute, small with freckles. She was tiny, I wanted to grab her and sit her on my lap.  Pay attention! I’d only been on the bus for a minute when I hopped out. Yes I may seem like a hypercritic but my college was up a hill and it was two stops, not one, two. The girl hopped off after me and ran into the college. I had to stop myself from running after her and looking like a complete stalker.

My watch said 9.20. I amaze myself at time… fried chicken hell I’d left my phone with Forest.

“Vya.” A guy waved, he was at least seven foot, had the eyes of a killer and a complete pushover when it came to me. He picked me up in a bear hug, my fists punched against him. I couldn’t breathe. He dropped me, I landed on my arse, groaning.

“I’m late!” I squealed, I felt like rabbit ears had popped out of my head and I had a waist coat hopping around. I ran down the hall ways swiping my card into the system. My legs volleyed over the barrier. I was almost there before running into a sculpture that hung around the edges of the hall. “Oh fudge buckets!” I muttered trying desperately to stand the thing up.

A hand tapped me on the shoulder making me jump and drop the thing again. “Hey you!” A guy stood with a large fake moustache, a top hate and a bright pink cape giving the evil eyes which could kill a kitten. “I hate people like you ruining art, your kind are just attention seeking drama Queens.” He huffed. He flattered his cape and marched passed me. I stared at him for a moment completely confused at what had happened. Wasn’t he the drama Queen….

Oh well, I’m late. I ran down the hall leaving the sculpture, maybe I’ll find the artist and send them a letter of apology. I balled into the room as the door closed. I grinned to myself, standing and dusting off my clothes. Haha I’d just made it, I danced around the room laughing to myself. Wait… The room was empty. What! Why! What happened… What happened? I thought… The desks were empty. Damn! I slapped my forehead. Forest had my phone, she obviously go a message. Arrr I threw a pen at the wall yelling in frustration. All that for nothing.

The door opened after an hour, letting me out. After safely and efficiently wrecking the room I walked out holding my bag.  A group of people stood around an area and I remembered the sculpture… oh dear.

“Who would do this?” A girl yelled, she had thrown herself dramatically over the sculpture of… well I don’t know it looked like a load of broken pieces.

A boy crouched by her, patting her shoulder, “I don’t know Anita.”

Her face was stained with tears, “Why would they do such a thing, I mean why?” She burst into a new fit of tears.

A person turned dramatically looking towards me, his finger out stretched. I cursed as I stared at the bright pink cape. “There’s the drastic villain who created this disaster!” He folded himself onto his knees, holding his hat in one hand. The movement so fluid that I was distracted again. One moment that guy just…

All the students glared at me, “Gooseberry!” I turned on my feet running down the hall. There was a bunch of students’ feet pounding against the floor behind me. Stamping faster and faster, how had I managed to do that?

“Vya! Here.” A voice called, I followed it and for the second time that day I found myself skidding into a room as the door closed.

“Are you alright?” I froze before jumping up and leaping on Forest.

“YOU BITCH, YOU TOOK MY PHONE; YOU RUINED MY DAY.” I tore at her hair, it fell off in my hand.

A high pitched scream echoed through the room as I dropped to the floor, “My hair.” She cried trying to grab onto the wig. I put my foot on her chest, pushing her back, “Alright, hand over the phone and you’ll get the hair.”

“But Chocolate covered Moose Arse.” She cried trying to get up.

“You can have Moose Ars…I mean Ryan. I want my phone.” Forest feebly sobbed as she handed the phone back. “Thank you.” I threw her hair across the room so that she wouldn’t try and get it back off me. Four messages and a two missed phone calls and a voice message. On a side note don’t you love how I counted backwards there. *Grins like the freak I am.* Anyway, I checked through my texts;

 

Sorry we couldn’t talk properly, I’ll talk to you later.

Ryan xx

 

Now that one was obvious.

 

Remember when you come round tonight that you have to bring pie. Also your father wants you to pick up a package at the post office.

xx Mum xx

I have no idea when I agreed to go round there.

Also dear, if you can bring Ryan.

xx Mum xx

 

Now that explained a hell of a lot more, my Mum really seems to think me and Ryan are practically hitched.

We need to talk.

Sam xxxx

I almost texted back, no I was desperate… except I had been pondering texting her this morning. The voice message was from my mum repeating the texts she had sent me. That woman seriously believes I’m incapable of anything which is only half true. I can put one sock one and half my clothes on. That reminded me, I don’t have pants on. I glanced back at the message from Sam.

Yeah, we really need to talk.  xxxx

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