“What? How is going there the best revenge? Are you crazy?” I ask her, shaking my head. My voice raises to a level which I’ve never dared to reach before. My nostrils flaring. “Do you want to me to die of heart failure? Do you hate me so much? Don’t you know that asking me to go there is the same as you signing my death warrant?” I yell at her. People turn to glare at us.
“Shhhh, don’t make noise. I’m thinking”
I feel like laughing and crying at the same time. How can...how can going there be the best revenge? I stare at her, at her droopy blue eyes and at her opening her mouth as if to say something and then quickly closing it shut. She is just too drunk. That’s why she’s making such a ridiculous claim, I tell myself.
“What is there even to think about this? I’m going to sit at home and make voodoo dolls, that’s it.” I say with conviction. No way I’m going there, or to any places where wedding are held, for that matter. Just thinking about marriage or relationships make me want to puke. Maybe Grandma Libby was right when she said I’m probably destined to live my life as a lonely spinster, with a small pet cat in my front porch.
A waving of a hand catches my eye. It’s Carla. “Earth to Lydia” she says. I look back at her. Or more like glare at her. Her comment of how I should go to their wedding is still haunting my mind. I don’t think I can forgive her for that remark.
“What’s the point of making voodoo dolls when it’s not going to affect them at all?”
“Well, number one: I can make myself feel better thinking that they will face a hard time. Number two: I’m at least doing something. Number three: Anything is better than going there”
“That is exactly where you’re wrong” Carla says, raising her chin. I frown.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you really think voodoo dolls will make you feel happier? What if nothing bad happens to them? What if they are very happy? What if, instead, they get pregnant and ha-”
“Stop” I yell. Picturing my sister pregnant with his child is like slowly slipping a blade into me and cutting me piece by piece. The mental images are disturbing. “I don’t want to imagine that, Carla” I grit out. Water fills my eyes again.
Realizing she said the wrong thing, she says, “I’m just saying, you know? Not that I hope for it to happen or anything. But seriously, what will you do if they are very happy? If they live without an ounce of regret?”
“I’ll kill myself” I say, and suddenly that seems like a brilliant idea. I’ve nothing to live for anyway, everything in my life is going wrong. I’ve lost my job, am on the verge of being kicked out of my apartment, my sister is marrying my boyfriend, my father...well...I have no idea whether he's dead or alive. Maybe I should...
“Hey!” Carla yells, bringing out of my dark thoughts. “Can you stop being so pathetic for a minute? I’ve got a brilliant idea”
“If that ‘brilliant idea’ of yours includes me going to their wedding, sorry, I’m out” I say and turn to get out. Carla’s hand quickly shoots behind me and takes a hold of my wrist.
“Will you please hear me out for a minute? I swear I won’t force you or anything” She says and then mutters “God, you’re so difficult.”
“I really don’t want to talk about this, Carla” I say and I mean it. I came here to drink all of them away but now I’m drowning into all the bad things I wanted to forget. I try to jerk off my wrist but Carla surprisingly has a very strong hold.
"Two minutes" Carla bargains and pulls on my hand. My wrist begins to hurt from all her pulling. When I try to move again, the look on her eye stops me. The look that says 'I won't give up'. And I know better than to challenge that look. I have challenged her countless times and failed. And that's why I sigh and give in.
"Just two minutes" I say and glance at my watch. Such a waste of time.
But, oh boy, I couldn't be more wrong. As two minutes stretched into twenty minutes and then into an hour, I realised that it was not a waste of my time after all. A smile slowly crept on my face as she talked and I inched closer and closer to hear her beautiful plan. My eyes twinkled and giggles escaped my throat as I heard her best parts. Carla is such a genius. Where was she all my life?
After she finished, she inched closer to me with a smirk on her face and asked, "Deal?"
"Deal" I reply, with a smirk of my own
"So, what do we do now?" I ask Carla, after a few minutes.
"What do you mean 'what do we do'? We chill, of course" she says and shakes her head at me, as if I'm already supposed to know that.
"Oh, and we should start buying presents." she adds. I cast her a look and snort in an unladylike way.
"I still don't think we should get her a gift" I say. The idea of me giving her presents for betraying me, irks me out. I'd rather poison her food than give her anything valuable.
"Come on Lydia, you know it. It's all part of the plan" I knew it, of course. But me spending money on her, it's just...argh.
"Where is the wedding anyway?" She asks and glances at her watch. It's getting late.
"The place...oh shit" I curse out loud, realization striking me.
"The place was mentioned in the invitation...but...I ummm kinda deleted it" I mutter, sheepishly. Carla shakes her head at me as if to express her disappointment.
"So...what do I do?" I ask her. Carla is still shaking her head at me. "What?" I ask her, annoyed.
"Don't you know there's such a thing called social media? Facebook...? Instagram...? Ring a bell?" she asks me, sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Ohh!" I exclaim as realization comes over me. Of course. They must have announced their wedding to the whole world by now. I rolled my eyes. It is not unlike them to do that.
When I'm about to fish out my phone to check my unused Instagram, "Here" Carla exclaims. I look at her. She passes me her phone. What I see in there is something that will leave a permanent mental scar on me, for the rest of my life. Isabella and Joseph are kissing passionately. Joseph's hands are positioned on Isabella's hips and her hands are in his hair. Behind them, was a beautiful quarry. They were standing and kissing on top of a mountain.
The picture brought back a lot of memories. When I was in high school, during summer holidays, I used to bring Joseph along with me for hiking. I always hiked in the hill near my home. I will always be taking pictures, holding his hands and laughing. But he wouldn't do any of it. He said he hated hiking. He never wanted to take a picture with me, whenever we reached the top. If I tried to take a picture, it always came out blurry, because he always moved. But now...But now...he is taking all kinds of pictures with my sister. So was it true then? That he approached me only because he liked my sister? That he never loved me? I can literally feel my heart pierce into two as that thought crosses my mind. Rivers of tears are pushing against my eyes. My air supply is being abruptly cut off by my roaring thoughts. I start gasping for air.
"Lydia, Lydia!" Carla yells and starts to rub my shoulders. 'It's okay,it's okay', she keeps muttering. I use my hand to clutch my dying heart and then rub off my tears. I look at the picture again. I scroll down. The picture has...10257 likes and 2578 comments. If I didn't break down when I saw the picture, now I do. Water trickles down from my eyes. I gasp for air again. Carla quickly snatches the phone from me. From the corner of my eye, I see her eyes bulge when she looks at the number of likes and comments. But when she sees my pathetic face, she quickly masks her expression.
"It's okay, she probably bought the likes or something. Don't worry too much" she says to try to comfort me. But I know. Isabella always had many Instagram followers and tons of likes on her pictures. But I never knew it was this much. I wouldn't have been bothered by her popularity...if she isn't marrying my Joseph.
When I wipe away the last few of my tears, Carla looks at her phone again. "The wedding is this Sunday. So you have exactly 4 days to prepare. And the wedding's in Hawaii." She says. Of course. They will try to make their wedding as romantic and special as possible. There is no more energy left in me to cry, so I just look away.
"Get your tickets quickly, Lydia" she says, patting my back. I simply nod at her. "It's 12pm now. I've got to go. Call me if you need anything, bye!" She says and starts to get up.
"Bye" I mumble back. I manage to give her a small smile. Hopefully that will make her understand how thankful I am for her presence this day. As I stare at her retreating form, only one more thought crosses my mind. I will make sure they regret their actions.