Nwanyieze's POV~
Song-Paradise by Coldplay
Maduka rises from his seat when I walk into the sitting room, a smile on his handsome face. It's almost funny how his presence makes the room feel smaller; it's like the ceiling is now lower, the walls closer than before. His suit and tie are gone from his outfit, sitting on the couch next to him. His top shirt buttons are undone and his sleeves are rolled up. I smile back in return, searching his face for signs of pity.
Maybe he's here because he feels sorry for me, the orphan girl with secrets he's better off never knowing about? The thought makes me a bit wary.
"An amazing outfit, but I like the wearer better," he tells me.
I suddenly want to giggle until my cheeks hurt. My gown is sleeveless and floral, with green, blue and yellow flowers against an orange background. I had made it last week; it had taken me two nights because my nightmares had returned and instead of moping around, I had dug the material (which I bought from Yaba market a year ago) out from my box and gotten myself to work.
"Thanks for both," I reply.
At the door, I slip my feet into my brown sandals. After walking around in tight shoes, my feet need some rest.
Mama Uju walks in, Adanna following right behind her.
"Nwa," she says in her high-pitched voice, "Ice cream coming back."
"Of course, my love," I reply, picking her up for a kiss.
"She's serious about pronouncing your Igbo name," Mama Uju says with a laugh.
"It's a good thing, okwa ya?"
Adanna nods in agreement. She notices Maduka and her face lights up with recognition. She stretches her arms towards him. "Uncle! Build castle now?"
Maduka takes her into his arms. "Not today, sweetheart. Nwanyieze and I are going out. But next time we'll build a very huge castle, okay?"
And suddenly they go into a conversation, actually making plans, so serious that Mama Uju and I stand and stare in surprise. He listens to her speak, nods in agreement while she gesticulates with her little hands.
"Okay," she finally says after two whole minutes.
"Okay," Maduka concludes. "Let's shake hands then."
They shake hands to seal their deal before he places her on her feet, and she walks over to the corner of the room where her toys lie.
"Are you ready?" Maduka asks.
"That's supposed to be my question."
"No be small business deal oh," Mama Uju laughs.
I tell her good bye, but Adanna is too busy with her toys so I allow Maduka to lead the way out of the flat.
"Have you ever seen the beach at night?"
"No."
"Good. That's our destination. I've always wanted to take you there."
I say nothing when we get into the car.
"Don't you want to go to the beach? I'll let you choose another destination," he says after five minutes of driving with me in silence.
"No, I'd like to go to the beach," I reply. I'm still trying to figure him out, trying to see if he's here just because he feels sorry for me and wouldn't want to cut off ties with me abruptly.
"Did you have a good week? How is Mr. Adeyemo?" His lips curve upwards in a grin and my eyes linger on the five o'clock shadow covering his jaw.
I laugh out loud, remembering the pleasure I had felt to see the fear in my lecturer's eyes when he spotted me, seated on the front seat in his class. I had gotten the marks I so well deserved, 27/30.
"He's doing fine. He was so scared when he saw me today."
"I thought he would retire sef."
"He announced his transfer to YabaTech on Monday."
"Poor YabaTech girls. I hope he meets more people like you, or maybe real marine spirits. It'll make him wonder if he's a marked man for the marine kingdom."
The thought makes me erupt in laughter. I laugh so hard that it amuses him and he joins me.
"Did you have a good week too?" I ask.
"Yes. Modern farming is not so bad."
"Modern farmer."
"That's right. I actually am a farmer, in simple terms."
"So long as you take pride in what you do, that's fine."
Look at you, giving advice, the small voice in my head mocks.
I remain silent and he lets me be. When we arrive at Elegushi beach, Maduka pulls out a blanket from the back seat of his car.
"I put it in yesterday so I wouldn't forget," he tells me with a boyish grin.
There is loud music near the shoreline. Phizbarz's Dance, a new hit, blasts from huge speakers lined up metres apart. People are dancing everywhere, dressed in bikinis and light, flimy clothes. The smell of suya mingles with that of salt from the sea, the cool breeze is a light caress on my skin.
"Let's get some food. What would you like?" Maduka asks.
"Some suya and a chilled bottle of Coke sound fine to me."
He takes my hand and leads me through the loose crowd, and it hits me how secure it feels to me, the firm clasp of his big hand on mine. I feel the calluses, the warmth, and wonder if he feels something similar.
We wait our turn at one of the suya vendors. He selects an assortment-beef, chicken, shaki and gizzards- and makes sure the man adds extra yaji, onions, tomatoes and cucumber slices. Next, he buys two chilled bottles of Coke. We select a less crowded area near the shoreline, he spreads the blanket on the sand while I hold our snacks, and when he's done, he collects them, waits for me to settle, before he finally does.
"Be careful this time," I warn.
"Trust me, I still remember the pepper."
It's very thoughtful of him to add cucumber slices to counter the effects of the onion slices on our breaths.
"It's so beautiful," I say after a few moments of staring at the water, the horizon where the orange sun meets it.
"And such beauty doesn't cost a thing to appreciate," he agrees.
"So did you bring me here to make up for the guilt you feel after finding out about my non-existent parents?" I finally ask, turning to look at him square in the face.
In the fading light, he looks surprised, hurt, even. His full brows come together, his mouth turns downwards at the sides.
"I've always wanted to bring you here, after that day with the kids. It's been on my mind since then."
I look away, turn my eyes back to the sea. It still baffles me why he even bothers with me.
"Listen, Nwanyieze. I feel bad about what happened last Saturday, sure. But that does not affect my desire to see you, to spend time with you."
"Then why do you desire to spend time with me? I mean, it's not like we're going to be having sex or something--" I pause when I see his expression.
Absolute shock and more of that hurt I hate to see on his face. He purses his lips now, a sure sign that I have dealt him a blow. His eyes don't leave mine, however. They hold me in thrall, all the while showing me that he isn't happy with my statement.
"Do you really think that's my aim, Nwanyieze? To have sex with you?"
I take him in, his whole image: still dressed in work clothes with his sleeves rolled up, shadow over his jaw, hair a bit messy. Blanket from the car he'd driven straight from work without going home to change his clothes. Patience he's been showing me, never opening his mouth once to make a cynical remark to my face.
Suddenly I feel like such a terrible person because clearly, he's been making efforts and I've been too consumed by my wariness to appreciate.
He puts a piece of suya into his mouth and chews slowly, takes his eyes off mine and stares at the sea.
"I'm sorry," I murmur, my throat feeling clogged. "I've ruined everything today, haven't I?"
"When I first saw you, I didn't think of sex."
"That's not something we women get to hear everyday."
"I saw much more than that."
If only you knew, I almost said.
"I...I thought you'd walk away after telling you I'm an orphan. And when you showed up I was surprised because I wasn't expecting you."
He shakes his head and chuckles. "Is that supposed to be an obstacle?"
I raise my face, close my eyes, and allow the cool breeze to run over my skin. When I open my eyes, he's staring at me, brows raised. Darkness is close by, and so the light bulbs perched on wooden poles yards behind us come on, and only a little bit reaches us.
"I thought it would be an obstacle, Maduka. Honest. I don't know where I'm from, I have no origins, no people to fall back on. Only Mama Uju and Adanna are who I live for. I have nothing to offer anyone."
"I never asked for anything. And believe me, you have so much to offer."
"What do you see that I can offer? It puzzles me. You just show up, try to brighten my day. You act like we've been friends for years, you're always so patient."
My mouth doesn't want to stop moving. My heart feels like it's about to burst. The words pour out of me in a rush because they need to be out there in the open, so I can let him know that I desperately need to figure out what he wants from me, why he has taken it upon himself to try for me, and also why I even let him.
He inches his hand towards mine on the blanket, slowly at first until it covers mine. I get that secure feeling again from his touch, telling me that I'm safe and no harm will come to me.
"Can I touch your face?"
His request startles me so much that I nod in silence. His other hand rises and lands gently on my cheek before slowly running over my forehead, my nose, then the other cheek. It's almost like he's trying to remember something, the way his face is full of concentration. His thumb traces the outline of my lips, its touch feather-light. I sigh involuntarily, feeling so relaxed and yet so aware of him.
When his hand moves away, I feel a sense of loss, I almost grab it back to place it where it had been.
"Maduka."
"Yes?"
He has this way of holding me with his gaze, and now in the dim lights, I can feel the intensity of it, the way he looks at me like I'm the only thing he sees. I inhale deeply, my heart hammers against my chest, I feel goose bumps rise on the skin of my bare arms. The sea raises up its waves, crashing walls of water against each other and spraying us with droplets.
"Kiss me."
A/N: Ugh, finally. Kiss since, una no gree.