Hey everyone! Sorry this took a while to write! Things have been busy with work, the holidays, and trying to buy a house, so it took me longer to write this than I anticipated. It's a little longer than normal, so I hope that's a decent apology for taking a long time to write this. Hope you all enjoy!
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"Even if we're breaking down, we can find a way to break through. Even if we can't find heaven, I'll walk through Hell with you. Love, you're not alone, 'cause I'm gonna stand by you." ~ Stand By You, Rachel Platten
Time seemed to pass slowly for Audrey. It had been about two weeks since Draco's funeral, and a lot had changed in her life already. She had gone back to Ireland to stay with Artemis and his family until further notice. He had arranged for all of her and Draco's things to be packed up and shipped over to help alleviate some of the pain she may have with going through her late husband's things. So far, all the boxes sat in her room, untouched. It wasn't that she didn't want to look through them really. Mostly, it was out of doctor's orders to not stress herself out, or do anything strenuous.
She had maybe two weeks left of her pregnancy, and was essentially on bedrest. She would consider herself lucky, in some sense, if Scorpius managed to wait another two weeks. Since the move, they had to prep another room for the baby. Artemis was in the process of doing that now in the next room over. Although Audrey felt like an inconvenience for taking up so much space in their home, Artemis and his parents all assured her that she was fine. She supposed they were right, given the size of the mansion they resided in, but that didn't make her any more comfortable with it. One day, she deemed she would have to repay them for the kindness they had shown her during this dark time.
Her stubbornness was starting to get the better of her. Audrey had always found it difficult to stay still for long. Staying in bed was incredibly difficult. Against her better judgement, she got up and crossed the room to the dresser on which some of the boxes were stacked. Audrey took a deep breath, not sure she was prepared for whatever may be in this box. She opened it hesitantly, and when she finally saw what was inside, she wasn't sure if she should be happy or if she should cry.
The first thing sitting at the top of the pile of things in the box was a large photo album, containing pictures from all throughout her life. Lots of happy memories filled the book, lots of things that she knew would probably make her cry now. Her life was so different now than any of the memories in the book would show. Yet, she picked it up, and made her way back to the bed, sitting back down. With another shaky breath, she opened the book, and began flipping through the pages, going back in time.
The first page contained probably what was the first family photo the McCarthys had ever taken. She was about two, her father was carrying her on his hip, while her mother held onto her newborn brother. Audrey bit her lip, holding back tears. Her childhood was great, and as she flipped through the next few pages, all the happy birthdays, Christmases, and family get-togethers showed just that. It was sad the state her family was in now. She hadn't spoken to her mother in a couple days now, but that was likely because her mother knew she didn't want to be bothered. She flipped another page, and was instantly reminded of more painful recent events.
One thing her family had always done was take camping trips to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It was a tradition her mother had been doing since her own childhood, having grown up near there. It was a trip Audrey always looked forward to, and she often brought a friend along. Nine times out of ten, that friend was Krystie. And seeing photos of their eleven-year-old selves, only a month from starting at Hogwarts, smiling and having fun reminded her of how close they once were. While her estranged friend once again attended the funeral, she said nothing to Audrey, and that hurt. Having a friend of so many years ignore her pain so blatantly was hard to ignore, and Audrey doubted they would ever be as close as they were in these photos ever again. How could they? It was incredibly selfish to ignore a close friend's grieving, especially for someone like their father or husband.
Audrey shook off the anger coursing through her, and flipped the page. She was delighted to see the next page started her life at Hogwarts. She remembered her sorting ceremony so vividly; she remembered what it was like to hear the Sorting Hat shout "Slytherin!" and what it was like to join her classmates at the table for the first time. And of course, seeing Draco for the very first time. She didn't speak much to him during first year, but with them both joining Quidditch in their second year they became friends. The first picture of that wasn't until a few pages later with the Quidditch team photo. Being the youngest, and shortest at the time, the two of them were standing in front of the others, smug looks upon their faces. Audrey doubted either of them even had a clue that they were standing next to their future spouse at the time, but the thought put a small smile on her face.
She flipped through a few more pages worth of school pictures, skipping past some of the more unsavory parts of it, and finally got to her seventh year. The first picture she saw was one that she had been using as a bookmark for a while. It was probably the first picture that had been taken of her and Draco after they got together. They were in a tight embrace, and kept glancing at each other as they smiled. To this day it was still one of Audrey's favorite photos of the two of them. There were a few more pictures from when they were dating, and then she found herself staring at wedding photos, fighting back tears. For many reasons.
Other than the obvious loss of her husband, Audrey was staring at pictures of one of the last times that she had more friends than her three constants. So many things had changed since then, and it was incredibly sad that it had come to this. There used to be so many people who cared about her, and here she was with the smallest inner circle of friends she had ever had. In some ways, it was for the better. The three she had left she knew were in it for the long haul, and she wouldn't trade Artemis, Nicole, and Ron for the world. And even in retrospect, the pictures from the wedding showed that they were the three who were going to be there forever. It was always the three of them standing closest to her and Draco, always smiling and having a great time. Audrey should've known then.
She took a shaky breath as she finally finished up the wedding photos and moved onto the few she had from the honeymoon. She had been so happy Draco had picked somewhere remote to have their honeymoon and not some major tourist destination. They had bonded so much more while they were away, and she probably wouldn't have their son if it hadn't been for that trip.
The only other pictures in the album were from the gender reveal and baby shower, and it was those pictures that brought her calm to a screeching halt. Tears were flowing from her eyes unchecked as she stared at the pictures of Draco holding her in a tight embrace, his hand resting gently on her very pregnant stomach. It hurt knowing he would never get the chance to hold his son, knowing that his life had been robbed from him by his own father...
A loud sob escaped her throat, and she brought a hand up to her eye, wiping some of the stinging tears from it. It had been two weeks, and she still felt like she had lost him yesterday. Audrey had heard time heals all wounds, but she doubted this was one that would ever fully heal. She would always miss Draco, always love him, and it would likely always hurt that he wasn't there with her. As time went on, she would cope better, but for now she was free to grieve as she pleased.
As Audrey continued to weep, she failed to hear a knock on her door, as well as the door opening allowing someone to step into her room. A hand grasped the one of hers that was wiping tears from her eyes, and it startled her. Audrey looked up through blurred vision and saw Artemis standing next to her, a small frown on his face.
"Reminiscing, huh?" he inquired quietly.
Audrey nodded, not wanting to speak, sure her voice was going to crack from her sobbing. She knew that was enough for her friend. That was one of her favorite things about him. She never had to say anything; Artemis just knew.
He sat down next to her on the bed, placing one of his hands on top of hers. "You're not alone, you know," he stated, his eyes cast downwards. "I know you haven't seen inside my bedroom, but... I had a picture from your wedding on one of the bedside tables. I liked having the picture there to remind me that there were people who cared about me." His voice faltered a bit, so he stopped to take a deep breath. "And now that Draco is gone, it serves as a grim reminder that you are all I have left- if you don't include Ron and Nicole in that- so I had to put it up."
Audrey didn't know any of that, and it hurt to hear. It almost sounded like Artemis himself had some underlying issues she wasn't aware of, and she wanted to know more. "Are you okay?" she asked, looking at him, her tears momentarily ceasing. "I mean... are you really okay? Be honest with me, please."
"Having a higher intellect is a blessing and a curse, I'm afraid," Artemis retorted. "While I have a brain capable of so much, it also has a tendency of making me all too aware of our fleeting existence, and how few people actually care about others throughout the process." He paused, contemplating his next words. "Some would say I experience guilt; others would say it's depression. I, on the other hand, think it's more complicated than that."
Audrey nodded, taking in what he said. "What could you possibly feel guilty about, Arty? You haven't done anything wrong."
"There's a lot you still don't know about me, love," Artemis replied, softly. "I'm not an angel by any means, unfortunately, and my past has a way of getting in the way."
That baffled Audrey a little bit. What did he do that was still coming back to haunt him? "What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't think I have the time to explain all of it to you in one sitting, but... to make a long story short, I've had some dealings in the past involving kidnappings, rebellions, time travel, fairies... dying," Artemis briefly explained, his voice trailing off. "By all means, I shouldn't be having this conversation with you. I should be six feet under-"
Audrey had heard enough. She placed a hand over her friend's mouth, effectively silencing him. "I don't care what you have done in your past, Artemis. I don't care what kind of damage you think you've caused. I don't care what kind of mental problems you may have because of all that," she explained. "I'm here for you no matter what, just like you're here for me. We're going to get through this hell, and neither one of us can do it alone. You and I are in this together. For better or worse."
Audrey removed her hand from his mouth, allowing him to speak once again. Artemis sighed, shoulders slouching slightly. "You're right," he admitted. "I guess I just haven't allowed myself to grieve properly..."
"Then do it," Audrey urged. "It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up inside. Let it out, Artemis."
Her friend raised his arms, offering an embrace. Audrey took him into her arms, or to the best of her ability anyways, pulling him in close. Artemis rested his chin on her shoulder, and even though he was still trying hard to not let her know, Audrey could feel him crying. She readjusted her arms, bringing one across his back so she could run her fingers through his hair, attempting to calm him down. She knew no matter how strong he seemed, he was just as human as she was, and was going through the same loss she was. She wasn't going to let him suffer alone, that was certain.
As she let him sob on her shoulder, Audrey let out a few tears of her own. It hurt knowing her friend was so troubled- not just by Draco's death, but his own existence. She was determined to make sure that he never felt alone again. The world was a dark place, and it was even darker without a friend to help you through it. Audrey felt like Artemis probably had gone far too long without a close friend, and he just couldn't handle the loss of one of them on top of everything else.
"For better or worse," she repeated quietly, remembering the last time she had said those words and truly planned on seeing them through. She had taken her wedding vows with Draco seriously, and this time she meant them just as much. No matter what it meant.