Charlie wakes up just after six and begrudgingly takes a shower before slowly getting ready for another draining day at school. He decides to check in on his sister before heading downstairs and he's surprised to find that she's already awake. Jaz sits at her writing desk with her head down.
"What are you doing?" Charlie asks her as he enters her bedroom.
"Homework," Jaz says. "I forgot."
"That's not like you." Charlie walks around her and sits down in a chair at the end of her desk. She won't even look at him. "I'm taking you to school today, remember? So you don't need to rush."
"I want mum to take me."
"Mum's at court today, she had to leave early." Charlie leans back and rubs his stubble. "Is this about Sunday? Are you mad at me?"
"No," she mumbles.
"Jaz."
Jaz drops her pencil and lifts her head. "It was supposed to be our day but she ruined it. You're always with her, you don't care about us anymore."
"That's not true," Charlie says. "I know that I'm not home as much as you want me to be but you'll understand when you're older."
"Don't patronize me," Jaz hisses.
Charlie widens his eyes and clears his throat. "When did you learn that?"
"I know lots of words. I'm not a kid."
He half-smiles. "You're right, you're definitely not a kid anymore."
"Aubrey hates me," she whispers.
"Aubrey does not hate you. If you want to know the truth, I think she's intimidated by you."
Jaz narrows her eyes a tad. "What does that mean?"
"Ah, so you don't know all the words. It means she sees you as competition because she knows that you're my number one girl and she can't ever change that."
Jaz smiles. "Really?"
"Really. Now come here and give your brother a hug." Charlie opens his arms and Jaz jumps out of the chair. She squeezes her arms around him and then retreats back to her chair with a brighter expression. "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Anything but porridge." Jaz grimaces and Charlie laughs. Their mother makes her porridge every morning and it's only on weekends that she's allowed something with more flavour.
"I'll see if we've got that," Charlie says. "You good here?"
"Yeah, I'm nearly finished. I'll be down in thirty."
Charlie leaves and walks downstairs. He puts his phone on the table as he makes himself a coffee and he wonders if he imagined last night. He definitely didn't, she rang him. He doesn't know what he's doing anymore, his mind is tearing into two and he can't keep up with it. He hasn't spoken to Aubrey since yesterday morning and he's been ignoring her texts and calls. Getting Camilla to spy on him is the last straw and it's extreme even for Aubrey.
As much as they argue and pretend to despise each other, they always had trust. He had never doubted that until now. He wonders what she'd say if she knew where he was yesterday, if she knew just how right she might be about him. The truth is, he was thinking about Molly up until the moment she called him. She's interesting, she has experiences very few people on the planet will have and despite being broken she has the greatest sense of humour. They're just friends and he knows they will never be more than that but it's hard for him to remember what his life was like before all of this happened. Was it easier? Yes. But was he happier?
"I can't smell burning toast so that's a bonus."
Charlie stares at the clock in confusion as Jaz walks in fully dressed and carrying her bag. Thirty minutes has flown by without him even realizing. He jumps up from his seat and starts opening kitchen cupboards as Jaz watches from the table.
"Did you want toast?" Charlie mumbles.
"No, cereal's fine. Chocolate."
"Alright."
Charlie makes himself one too and he drops the bowls on the table. Jaz starts digging in immediately and Charlie watches the clock as he taps the spoon.
"What time will mum be home?" she asks.
"Not until late," he says.
"Are you cooking dinner too?" Her eyes sparkle with excitement. "Can we have lasagna?"
"No, we're having pizza. Are you even normal?"
She laughs and shrugs. "What did mum pack me for lunch?"
"Ah. Crap." Charlie jumps out of his seat again and charges over to the fridge. He opens it and stares from top to bottom. "I was supposed to do that. I think. Okay, she said two pieces of fruit, a yogurt, chicken and lettuce sandwiches and a bottle of water. So, let's make that one piece of fruit, chicken and ham sandwiches and a can of soda."
"You're the best. Add a chocolate bar, too."
"You got it." Charlie grabs a plastic container from the cupboard and starts preparing her lunch. "And you wanted mum to take you to school. Pft."
"Can I have a friend over?" Jaz asks excitedly. "I never ask mum because she always says no."
"Uh. . . for how long?" Charlie tries to disguise the shock that she actually said friend. Which means a living, breathing person with a name that she's never mentioned.
"Couple of hours. She wants to see the website that I'm designing."
"Website. . . that you're designing?"
"Uh-huh. It's a site for suicidal people to get help."
Charlie stares at her. "When did you start doing that?"
"Sunday."
Charlie takes a deep breath and sits back down opposite her. "Are you doing this because of Molly?"
"Not just for Molly, for lots of people."
"Okay, Jaz, forgetting the fact that you're going to show that to an eight-year-old girl that probably doesn't understand it and I'll have pissed off parents at our door, there are already loads of sites like that out there anyway."
"There isn't a site out there like this." She smiles. "And my friend understands just fine. It's a happy site, I promise."
Charlie rubs his head. "I know that you want to help but I don't want you researching this stuff. It's a very dark and upsetting subject for many people so just leave it alone, okay?"
"Okay," she says. "Can she still come over?"
"Yeah, I guess, as long as it's okay with her parents. But you stay in the lounge where I can keep an eye on you."
"Fine," she sighs. Jaz diverts her eyes back to her bowl and whispers, "Why haven't you told Aubrey about Molly?"
"I haven't told anyone about Molly except you so I'm trusting you to keep it to yourself."
"I will. I just feel bad for her, I liked her."
"I like her too," Charlie says. "But you don't need to worry about her, she's doing fine."
Jaz glances up and looks at him. "Are you helping her? She seemed happy with you."
Charlie doesn't know how to respond to that, Jaz is smiling at him and he can't even form a muscle spasm. "Go brush your teeth or we'll be late for school."
She continues to smile as she leaves the room. Charlie puts the bowls in the sink and places her lunch container into her bag. He carries their bags to the front door and waits on the porch steps. She runs past him a few minutes later without her jacket and he leans back inside with a sigh as he drags it off the hook.
She doesn't say much during the car ride and he notices her leg keeps shaking as though she's nervous. He doesn't remember her saying that she has a test today so something else is causing her distraction. He pulls up outside the school and she stares at it for a while before grabbing her bag and opening the door.
"Bye," she says.
"Bye, have a good day."
Charlie doesn't move just yet. He lowers his head to get a better view out of the window and he watches after her. Jaz walks over to a boy with blonde hair that seems to be waiting for her and they wave at each other before he turns and walks alongside her to the school entrance. Charlie smiles to himself and pulls out onto the road.
He arrives at his school a few minutes later and struggles to find a parking space. By the time he gets to class it's already started and everyone stares at him as he shuffles to the back. Camilla turns around and waves at him and he narrows his eyes in return, making her scowl. He stares at the empty desk in the middle, the place where Molly used to sit. She hardly made a sound, it was like she wanted to be invisible. Now she finally is.
"Before we start I'm obligated to inform you that your year will be called in for a mandatory assembly led by the Principal before lunch," the teacher, Mr Calloway, says. "Anyone caught skipping it will be given two weeks detention and most of you know that my detention classes are no holiday. Is that clear?"
"Yes, sir," multiple people say at once.
This can't be a coincidence. It must be about Molly. The whole class seems to be in anticipation of the event but Charlie feels nauseous. The faculty are putting in too much faith that his peers will actually take this seriously when the reality is that they'll spread the gossip around like wildfire.
Charlie can't concentrate for most of the morning. He keeps his head down and completes the work but lunch is getting closer. He stands at his locker before fourth period and Roy catches his eye from down the hall. The entire hallway falls silent and the only sound is from Roy's footsteps that get louder and nearer. Charlie closes his locker door just as Roy walks straight by him, without even making eye contact. They both walk in opposite directions and the crowd of students watching are scrambling the floor for their jaws.
As Charlie walks to his next class many girls try speaking to him. Some even block his way until he practically has to push into them. And then, to his sheer shock, he is blocked by Sandy Evans. At five foot eight with light honey hair and a figure that can only be described as athletic heaven she is considered to be the most attractive girl in the entire school. They aren't entirely wrong; Charlie is mesmerised by her for a moment.
"Hey, it's Charlie right?" Sandy says sweetly while her friends stick to the walls, staring at them with a bitter twitch to their blinking. "You're Camilla's friend?"
"I wouldn't go that far," Charlie says.
"I saw what you did yesterday, that was really impressive. Roy is a jerk, he deserved to be humiliated like that. On behalf of all the girls that dread sitting near him in class, we thank you."
"No problem, glad I could help."
"Do you maybe want to go get dinner sometime?"
Charlie chokes for a moment and clears his throat. "I have a girlfriend."
Sandy smiles. "I have a boyfriend."
Charlie laughs and moves around her. He widens his eyes when his back is to her and he tries to convince himself that he imagined it.
"Is that a no?" she shouts down the hall.
Charlie turns the corner and almost bangs into the wall. Getting approached by the most popular girl in school is one thing but getting asked out by the most popular girl in school has sent his head for a spin. He made it clear a while ago that no one in school interests him and they seemed to have left him alone after that, but now—after the Roy incident—it appears that beating someone terrifying awakens desperation.
Math is his next class and the one subject that he hates the most, mainly because algebra is ridiculous. His concentration levels are now at zero and he watches the clock until it hits half eleven. The teacher suddenly stops the class.
"Good work today, everyone. Pack away your things and line up at the door."
Charlie looks down at his empty booklet that he hasn't even looked at during the whole thirty minutes. He packs it away and joins the line at the door. The teacher leads their class towards the assembly hall at the other side of the school. The entire year are making their way there too and it's chaos when they all arrive together. Charlie wonders if anyone will notice if he discreetly slips away but the teachers are watching out for that. Everyone is told to shut up and enter quietly and then they are yelled at.
Charlie's class is among the last to enter, he's relieved that they get to sit at the back. There are a few rows behind him but he's glad it's not dozens. The assembly room is silent as the Principal stands at the centre of the stage. The teachers sit behind him on rows of chairs, their hands are tucked neatly onto their laps and their expressions are serious. Charlie scans the hall for Camilla but he can't find her. He hasn't seen her around school today and he's really hoping that she's sick, the chances are slim but it's better than the alternative.
"I apologise that you've all been disrupted from your classes," the Principal says. He is an older man in his late fifties with a grey beard and fair, big eyes. "Though I'm sure you're delighted by it. What I'm about to share with you today is a very serious matter that you should uphold in the strictest, confidential manner and it is not to be spread around the school."
Charlie looks down at the ground. Good luck with that, he thinks.
"Last weekend a senior student at this school attempted suicide. The student was saved in time and is receiving treatment in hospital. Even though we've been told that the reason for this person's attempted suicide was unrelated to the school we will still be conducting an investigation. This will make the fourth student of ours to turn to this unthinkable way out in the last year. As you know three students took their own lives last winter and two of them were also in your year." He scans his eyes around the room angrily. "We have a zero tolerance of bullying at this school and if I suspect that anyone is involved in treating another student in any other way except for kindness then I will not hesitate to expel you. I know exactly how your minds work; I know how frightened you think the teachers are of you. But you won't be dealing with them, you'll be dealing with me."
He starts picking certain people out of the audience with his stare, like he's letting them personally know he's talking to them.
"For the next few weeks in your health classes you are going to be participating in mental health awareness. You're all getting a crash course in empathy and hopefully a better understanding that what you say to someone can ultimately kill them. Is what you want to be remembered for? Taking someone's life? There is more glory in helping someone than dragging them down!" His voice raises so loud that Charlie sees people flinch. "How hard is it to be kind? From now on anyone caught bullying or taunting another student will be sent directly to me. I will be watching this grade closely and I will be watching certain individuals even closer. This better be the last time that I stand before you in these circumstances because if one more student reports to the councillor that they're being bullied then you can kiss goodbye to prom and you can kiss goodbye to football. That's right." The Principal stares at Roy and his band of idiots at the front of the hall. "I'll cancel the whole team. I'll cancel everything. Soccer, swimming, basketball, cheerleading, everything. And then I'll announce the name of the bully that took that all away. Just be nice to each other. You're dismissed."
He doesn't wait around for a reaction; he exits the stage and vanishes through a door. It's up to the vice-Principal to calm everyone down but she's having a hard time getting their attention.
"Why should we all be punished for a moron's actions?" someone yells in frustration.
"He can't take away prom, there's no way, it's not our fault."
These discussions are happening around the whole room until the vice-Principal whistles through her fingers.
"You can go to lunch now," she shouts. "Each section at a time. Back section first, stand."
Charlie stands up and the entire room is staring towards them. He looks right at Camilla who is at the front and she taps her fingers against the back of the chair. If she suspects that it's Molly then it'll only be a matter of time before the rest of the school knows about it. He can't protect her from people finding out but he's the only one that can make sure Camilla keeps her mouth shut.
After buying a meatball sub from the cafeteria Charlie sits in his car to eat it. A few minutes later and there's a sharp knock on his window. Aubrey bends down and glares at him, she folds her arms and backs up as he rolls the window down.
"What?" he says.
"What do you mean 'what'?" She walks around the car and flies open the passenger side door.
"Jesus, can you try not to break my door?" Charlie hisses.
She slams it closed and stares at him smugly. "Let me guess, your phone's dead. No wait even better, you dropped it in the school toilet and it's been broken since yesterday morning."
"No, I just. . . what the hell are you doing?" Charlie puts his sandwich on his dashboard as Aubrey roots through his jacket pockets. She takes out his phone and stares at the screen.
"Nope, it's working just fine," she mutters. "I know your password, let's see who you've been talking to."
"You're being childish," Charlie says angrily as he reaches out for the phone. She turns sharply and hides it from his view.
"You obviously don't find me interesting anymore," Aubrey says. "So, who do you find interesting?"
"Aubrey, you're doing that control freak thing again."
"You stayed at my house the entire night Sunday and we had sex once and it was like you weren't even there. I'm not imagining this, Charlie something has changed."
"Something has changed but it's not what you think."
She throws the phone into his stomach. "Tell me what's changed then."
"Me," he whispers.
"People don't change overnight."
"You're wrong, one night was literally all it took," Charlie mutters as he rubs his head.
"You've been acting weird ever since you had that accident," Aubrey says as she points to his sling. "What happened to you?"
"I saved someone's life, alright?" He turns and stares at her, she just stares back. "That girl. Molly. I saved her. I did something selfless for once in my life and I can't get it out of my damn head!"
"How did you get hurt?"
"I tore my shoulder when I was. . . pulling her back over a bridge wall. That's why I was asleep all of Saturday because I was with her all night at the hospital."
"You saved her?" Aubrey mumbles. "That's good, isn't it? You're a hero."
"No, no I'm not. And don't tell people that."
"Why not? It's what you are. I can't believe you didn't tell me, this is huge, Charlie. My boyfriend is an actual hero." She starts to stroke his hair and he flinches his face away from her hand. "What?"
"You told your sister to spy on me," he says. "Camilla told me everything. I can't keep doing this anymore."
"I screwed up okay? I obsess over things and I get jealous, you'd be lucky to meet a girl that doesn't. Look, I promise from now on I'll back off. You can have as many female friends as you want, you can not talk to me for days at a time and I won't get mad. Just give me one more chance to prove it to you, that's all I'm asking."
He's divided. He doesn't know what to do. They used to have so much fun together, he remembers a time when they were happy, so happy that it made everyone around them miserable. But Charlie is clinging to someone that he used to know and it's not the person sitting in his car right now.
"You have to stop trying to control everything, Aubrey," Charlie spits out. "I get that you had no control when you lived at home and I get that your parents were strict but you don't have to become them!"
"You. . ." She leans back against the window and narrows her eyes. "You have no idea what it was like living with them. I was told what to wear, what language to use, if I didn't sit straight enough at dinner then I'd get kicked. They didn't want a daughter, Charlie they wanted a project. They made me study until I was too tired to hold a pen and I had my college chosen for me when I was twelve. Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me because I finally became brave enough to stick a finger up at them. Having some control right now is the only thing that keeps me sane."
Charlie thinks about Camilla and if that's the real reason why she acts up in class and harasses other students, because she's going through the same thing. School is the one place she can have some control, where she can make people fear her. Charlie's met Aubrey's parents and he wanted to leave the moment they looked at him. They called him a 'phase' and that their relationship was a normal, natural experience that will die out once he understood where his place was. He still hears those words sometimes. But this isn't about her parents, this about their relationship and right now he can't stand to be near her. He doesn't want to hurt her either.
"I need time to think," Charlie says. "I just need some space."
"Like a break?" she whispers.
He nods. "Yeah."
"Okay. How long for?"
He sighs and rubs his head. "I don't know, Aubrey. That's the point."
"But I need you." She takes his hand and tears stream down her cheeks. He lets her hold on to it. "I'm a mess without you. When I take off you're the only one that grounds me. That makes me see sense. I love you."
He almost laughs but he restrains himself. This is what she does. She manipulates and cries whenever things aren't going her way. He wants to believe her but he's been here so many times that he doesn't know if he can.
"I'll contact you when I'm ready," he says. "There's nothing else to say."
He gently takes back his hand and he doesn't look her in the eye. She sniffles and leaves the car, slamming the door. Charlie smacks his hand against the wheel and groans out in frustration. He sits there for the rest of lunch, staring at the school building and contemplating his future.
By the time his last class ends he's feeling better. He made the right decision but he still feels bad about it. Relationships aren't black and white, sometimes they're complicated and sometimes they need to be put on pause. It doesn't mean that he's chosen not to be with her, he's just chosen not to be with her right now.
Charlie pulls up outside Jaz's school and he's startled to see her standing with Molly's foster parents. He exits the car slowly, putting on a fake smile as he approaches them. There's another kid there too, a girl with light brown hair that he remembers from yesterday.
"This is my brother Charlie," Jaz says, pointing to him. "He's completely responsible and takes better care of me than our mother."
Charlie glares at her for a moment before turning to Daniel and Pam. "What's going on?"
"We didn't realise you were Jasmine's brother," Pam says softly. "Uh. . . Daisy wanted our permission for her to go over to. . . well, your house."
"Daisy," Charlie sighs, looking at the little girl that is smiling widely. Molly talked about her a lot yesterday. "Your daughter."
"Yes," Daniel says. "If this is too strange then we'll just take her home."
"Why would it be strange?" Jaz says.
"Because he was with Molly yesterday," Daisy says as she sways. "He likes her."
"I knew it!"
"It'll be fine," Charlie tells her parents. "I'll drop her home around half six."
"Perfect," Pam says, handing him a piece of paper. "That's our address and number if anything happens. Be good, Daisy, love you."
"Love you," Daisy calls.
Charlie looks between them and turns wryly. They run ahead of him and he tries to ignore the fact that Molly's foster sister is in his car. Pam and Daniel must trust him but the thought of being trusted is suddenly pressurizing. Is he supposed to feed her? They didn't mention it so maybe not but is it considered so normal that they wouldn't have? He waits for them to put their seatbelts on and then he starts the car.
"Have you two been friends long?" Charlie asks.
"We met yesterday," Jaz says. "Daisy moved schools."
"So strange," Charlie mutters to himself.
They chat about their classes and the boys in their school which reminds Charlie of this morning and the boy that was waiting for her. He won't bring it up in front of Daisy but Charlie makes a mental note to quiz her about it later. By the time they arrive home Charlie feels like he's been listening to them for an entire week. He tiredly makes his way to the kitchen as the girls take over the lounge. He washes the dishes and cleans the counters while listening to the sport channel in the background. An hour later, his mother calls him.
"I'm not going to be home until after nine, can you make sure Jaz has a bath and does her homework before bed?"
"Yeah, I got this," Charlie says. "It's not my first time."
"I know it's not, I'm really grateful. Do you think you could take her to school again tomorrow? I've got another full day at court."
"Yeah, no problem. Are you still at court now?"
"No, I'm back at the office. So much paperwork, it's never ending."
"How was it?" he mumbles. He can hear the drain in her voice and it's the first time he's been concerned about her with a case.
"Awful, but I think I'm getting somewhere. I'm going to nail this monster. No one kills their kids and gets away with it on my watch."
"I hope you get him," Charlie says. "Don't worry about us, we're fine. I'll see you later."
"Don't wait up," she sighs. "This could take a while."
"Alright. Call me tomorrow and let me know how it goes."
"Will do. Good night. Give Jaz a hug from me."
"Good night."
Charlie drinks his coffee and flips his phone in his hand as he watches the football game. He can't hear the girls anymore so he walks through the doorway into the lounge to check on them but they're gone. They must have snuck upstairs and Charlie knows why. He shouts for Jaz to come downstairs and they both emerge a minute later.
"I told you to stay in the lounge," Charlie says to her.
"I was just showing Daisy my room, nothing else," Jaz mutters. "Was that mum?"
"Yeah, she's working a bit later so we won't see her until tomorrow. It's time to take Daisy home so get your coats."
"Fine," Jaz says. "I left mine in my room, be right back."
Daisy puts her coat on in the entranceway and then smiles at him.
"Hi," Charlie says.
"Hi," she says.
Charlie opens the door as Jaz thunders down the stairs. He follows the address on the piece of paper. It's not far from his house, merely a ten minute drive. He pulls up outside Molly's house and he stares at it as Jaz and Daisy say their goodbyes. The house is ordinary with grey brick, white-framed windows and overgrown grass on the yard. He likes how simple it is. He waits until Daisy is at the door and it opens before driving away.
"Aren't you going to talk to them?" Jaz complains.
"Why would I talk to them?"
"It's called being nice."
Charlie smiles at her in the mirror. "I must have missed that lesson."
He spends the next few hours watching movies with Jaz, eating pizza and convincing her to take a bath. Once she's in bed he walks into his own bedroom and takes his clothes off. He lays in bed staring at his phone. He said he'd call her but he's been putting it off all evening. He takes so long thinking about it that he eventually falls asleep and he misses his chance.