"..I'm sitting eyes wide open and I got one thing stuck in my mind
Wondering if I dodged a bullet or just lost the love of my life..
Baby, baby, I feel crazy, Up all night, all night and every dayI gave you something, but you gave me nothing.. What is happening to me?"
A singel tear streamed down the blonde beauty's face. Everything was perfect, except one thing. Zayn and her have been traveling around the world to perform their song "I don't wanna live forever" for about two weeks already. Two weeks since Jade woke up, two days since Perrie lost her. Zayn tried to make Perrie laugh as good as he could, but it wasn't easy. They were going to travel two more weeks until they'd get home. Perrie wasn't ready. The last moment with Jade was.. weird. Perrie's heart was broken and she actually wasn't interested in seeing Jade for a while at least. Of course she missed her, but she couldn't handle Jade's amnesia yet and she didn't even know if she'd be able to handle it at all. Right now, Zayn and Perrie were in Japan. They had a performance there on a Japan Tv-Show. After that, they'd make their way to Spain before heading back to London. It actually was pretty fun. Even if her mood wasn't the best, Perrie was still having fun. She loved traveling. It gave her time to think about things. A lot of things.
~
TWO WEEKS AGO
"She doesn't remember me.", Perrie whispered.
"She will. I know she will.", Zayn tried to comfort her, but he knew it wouldn't work. Jade probably wouldn't remember her at all and it hurt him to know that Perrie was hurt again. His cousin and Perrie were meant to be, he knew that. He just hated the fact that the universe didn't know it. "Let's.. Let's at least visit her one time, okay? Maybe you should talk to her."
"Why?"
"Because you love her."
Perrie bit her lip. She took a deep breath and stood up. "Alright.", she whispered. Zayn stood up too and held out his hand for her. She hesitated, but put her hand in his. "Thank you.", she mouthed. He nodded and they both went into Jade's room. Perrie's heart was racing and she must say.. It was amazing to see Jade awake and healthy after all this time. But the moment Perrie thought back to what her mother just said it was like sadness entering her heart. Jade was watching Tv and she didn't even notice that someone came into her room as she kept staring on the Tv.
"Eh.. Pardon?", Zayn said, which made Jade flinch for a second. Her gaze swung over to him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, it's just..", He sighed, "I'm Zayn." Jade just nodded.
"And who are you?", the brunette asked directly at Perrie. The blonde's eyes widened. Her voice. She finally heard Jade's voice again for the first time after a month. But what Jade said hurt Perrie. But she had to live with the circumstances and she had to accept the fact that Jade didn't remember her or what they had and that she probably never will.
"P-Perrie.", the blonde stuttered. Her hands were sweating and she could feel herself getting really dizzy. She clearly couldn't handle this. The blonde took a few deep breaths.
Jade nodded and Zayn came a few steps closer, "I.. Can I sit down next to you?" Jade nodded with a smile. "I don't know if anyone already told you, but.. I'm your family."
"So boyfriend?", Jade asked. Zayn started to laugh, but Perrie didn't find it funny at all. That Jade even considered him as a boyfriend was.. weird. She was gay. She wasn't interested in men, was she?
"No, no..", he laughed, "More like cousin. You actually.. Prefer girls." Zayn smiled at her.
"I know. I was just messing with you."
So what? You can remember your sexuality, but you can't remember me? Perrie thought to herself. She really felt uncomfortable. Perrie was standing at the door. She wasn't sure how to act around Jade. She couldn't just act like nothing ever happened between them, like they never kissed, like they never loved each other.
"Perrie, you alright?", Zayn's warm voice brought Perrie back to reality.
"Huh?"
"Are you okay?", he asked now softly. Perrie bit her lip and shook her head.
Perrie looked at the bottom, "I'm not, I.. I'm sorry, Zayn. I can't do this."
And with that, she ran out of the room. It was all too much. She said down on one of the chairs and started to cry. Jade, on the other hand, was confused. She didn't know what was going on and Zayn didn't want to tell her straight away what her and Perrie were. He wanted Perrie to do it herself. It was her and Jade's relationship. He was just her Ex-Fiance and her best friend. It wasn't his job to do this.
~
"Pez, you alright?", Zayn asked after the performance. She cried on stage, again. But this time, she could keep it together. Fans were already very worried about her and the press made assumptions such as that Jade and her broke up because of Zayn and the fact that they were going on a little "Tour" now. Ever since Jade woke up, the press was all over Perrie and her. Though, Perrie didn't had the chance to talk to Jade yet, since they were on the road for two more weeks.
The blonde slowly nodded, "I will be." Perrie slightly smiled at him.
He nodded and hugged her tight, "You ready to do the interview?" Perrie slightly nodded and they both went off the stage and sat down on the couch next to the moderators. It was a Japan Tv-Show. Which meant performance plus interview.
...
"We're really proud of this song and we're so glad that it impressed people so much. We didn't expect it to be this huge. It's amazing. It's cool.", Zayn said with a smile. Perrie watched him the whole time with a smile on her face. She loved spending time with him. He kept her grounded and he made her laugh. Perrie really needed a friend right now and she was really glad that Zayn was there.
"Perrie..", the moderator nervously asked, "Can we ask you a personal question?"
"Well..", Perrie laughed, "It depends on the question."
"You seem very happy and carefree and of course this song and this succeed is a huge part of it, but fans still seem to worry about you. Is there something you want to tell them?"
"You know.. I promised my fans to be myself, - happy and bubbly as always, - no matter what happens and whether I like it or not, everyone knows I'm having a hard time right now. The only thing that I want to clear up is that whether I'm single or not, it's not Zayn's fault.", the blonde put her hand on his shoulder, "He's been there for me in my darkest times and we're really close friends, but that's it. Right?" Perrie's gaze swung over to Zayn, who was smirking like an idiot.
"So you're not back together? You're just friends?"
"Well, she is, I'm not.", Zayn suddenly said. Perrie's mouth fell slightly open with a smile. She slightly hit his shoulder and he just laughed. "I'm joking. We're really great friends and even though Jade's my family, Perrie is my first priority now. She's going through a rough time at the moment and she definitely has my support."
"Awe, you never said that before.", Perrie whispered, but everyone still heard it. Zayn's gaze swung over to her and they were smiling at each other like idiots.
"So, Perrie.. Does that mean your single?", the moderator said. Perrie looked at him and sighed.
"Jade and I are.. on a pause. Not because we don't love each other, we do, it's just.. After the accident, things got different and I think that we both, as individuals, need the time to see how things turn out and to figure out if we want to be together or not.", Perrie explained and the moderator seemed to be pleased with that answer. Thank god, Perrie was going crazy on the inside. She didn't want to talk about Jade. She'd talk to Jade when they'd get back home.
The moderator asked Zayn and Perrie a few more questions such as if there were going to be more collabs in the future. Zayn and Perrie shrugged their shoulders and said "You never know.". There were also questions about Little Mix and when they were going to come back. Perrie told them that their new album was already in the works and that if she'd get back to London, they'd start recording it. After the interview was finished, Zayn and Perrie went back to their hotel. They shared a room, but only because it wasn't awkward for them. I mean, they used to share a bed and an apartment. A little hotel room was nothing compared to that.
"I just got a message from Leigh.. She told me to get her some japanese food.", Perrie chuckled.
"I know I ask this a lot, but you're okay, right? I mean, I could sense how uncomfortable you were feeling through the interview.", Zayn said after laughing because of what Leigh wrote.
Perrie raised her eyebrows, "Oh, you can sense things now?"
"Perrie, come on..", he sighed with a smile.
Perrie nodded, "I'm alright. I promise."
Perrie took out her phone and went on Instagram. She wanted to post a picture she and Zayn did after the interview. It turned out pretty good and also, she wanted to show her fans how happy she was and how much she was enjoying her time with Zayn.
"perrieeele: Loving this blonde hair! 😏🔥 Having the best day in Japan!! #CantWaitToSeeMyGirlsTho ❤️"
"leighannepinnock: are you getting my food?? 😏"
Perrie laughed at Leigh's comment before answering.
"perrieeele: of course, darling xx 😏"
"What's so funny?", Zayn asked.
"Nothing. Just Leigh being Leigh.", Perrie laughed. Zayn and her ordered food and watched a movie or two before going to bed.
It was another night where Perrie was dreaming about Jade. Perrie really missed her, but she wasn't sure if she wanted to take this challenge. Jade didn't remember her or their history and this really broke Perrie. She wasn't sure if she was even able to look Jade into her eyes. On the other hand, Perrie knew it wasn't Jade's fault that she couldn't remember anything.
Perrie just loved her too much to let her go. But as big as her love for her was, Perrie wasn't sure how to handle this situation. Sooner or later she'd need to talk to Jade, but if Perrie could decide it, she'd choose later.
~
A/N
Damn. Book 3! I'm so happy to share this one with you *-* I love this idea so much and I already got a few ideas for this Book! I also know how it ends, but I don't know when I'll stop writing. I might do over 30 Chapter in this. There's just so much I can do with this and I'm just sooo excited hahahaha *-* I really hope you like this Book as much as Book 1+2. And by the way.. I just wanted to mention that I'm planning on bringing a new friendship for Perrie into this.. And then this happens.. Jealousy.