"Every sunset brings the promise of a new dawn." —Ralph Waldo Emerson
28
"Anne, almost 1 week na. Ano to? History repeats itself?" Pagmumukmok ni Karylle sa sala ni Anne.
"Ang OA mo. May meeting nga lang sa LA diba?"
"Meeting? Sinong nakikipagmeeting ng isang linggo Anne?" She continued whining.
"Edi yung jowa mo."
"Baka magbago nanaman ang isip nun. Lagi pa naman yun nacoconfuse." Hindi napigilang sinabi ni Karylle.
"Come on K. Kahit naiinis pa rin ako kay Vice, don't be like that with him. It's all work, that's why he went there. Be proud kasi diba na push niya ang extension ng mall chain nila sa LA. Tito Carlos never thought it would be possible to extend in the US kasi mahigpit doon but he still made it possible. Maparaan talaga si bakla."
Nanatili pa ring matamlay ang mga mukha ni Karylle. She misses him, so much. Hindi niya nga alam kung paano at bakit ganito na lang kung hanapin niya si Vice.
"And it's not as if he doesn't make an effort para kamustahin ka." Dagdag ni Anne.
"Oo sa chat. Minsan sa text. Pero kahit call lang Anne! Mas matagal pa yung oras na ginugugol niya para magtext kesa tumawag siya, in a second I can answer his call. Marinig ko man lang yung boses niya. Kung okay ba siya? Baka sinisipon siya dun—"
"Ang OA na! Ang OA OA." Hindi na pinatapos ni Anne ang pinsan. She's overthinking again.
"Magpacheck up ka na nga! Baka buntis ka, grabe ang cravings mo kay Bakla. Ganyang ganyan ako nun kay Vhong."
Tinitigan siya ni Karylle at nanlaki naman ang mga mata ng pinsan niya.
"Oh my gosh, don't tell me you are pregnant!" She hysterically shouted which caused her sleeping month old baby to wake up and cry.
Oo, nakapanganak na si Anne, it was a healthy baby boy na buti na lang ay kamukha ng kaniyang mommy. Iyon ang paulit ulit na biro ni Vice na minsan ay ikinakapikon ni Vhong.
"Ayan, nagising! Ikaw kasi ang OA. Ang laki kasi ng—" Sagot ni Karylle sa pinsan.
"Wag mong itutuloy yan! Itatakwil kita!" Natatawang sinabi ng pinsan niya, natawa naman si Karylle. She was so happy seeing her cousin like this.
The happy go lucky, party girl, Anne is now a full time mom to Alfonso. She even refuses to have a yaya for her baby boy. Pag laki na lang daw. But she bet her whole life if she's ever gonna hire one.
"So buntis ka nga? Magiging Kuya na si Alfonso?" Anne asked again pertaining to her son.
"I wish I am, Anne." Malungkot niyang saad.
"Then plan it out with Vice. But before that, kasal muna Kaykay ha?"
"Kasal? Do we really need that?" Karylle asked. Tinignan siya ng masama ni Anne.
"Are you seriously hearing yourself K? Sa ating magpipinsan, ikaw, ikaw ang may obsession sa weddings. O diba nga 16 pa lang tayo na plano mo na yung dream wedding mo?"
"Ang tanong, Anne, natuloy naman ba?"
"Hindi. Kasi the one you and Dominic planned was not your dream wedding. You just settled with the one he likes to make him happy."
"Hindi totoo yan." She said in defense but she knows that Anne was telling the truth. She did just that to please Dominic.
"Oh come on K. We all know the truth. But you know what? Enough about the past. Don't tell me natatakot kang magpakasal kay Vice?!"
"Hindi naman sa ganun pero, okay na kami na ganito eh. We're partners, we almost live together, we're happy. Ayoko na lang mag take risk at ilagay nanaman sa alanganin yung relationship namin."
"So takot ka nga?" Tanong muli ni Anne pero hindi nakasagot si K, bagkos ay nag buntong hininga lang ito.
"Look, it won't happen again K. You know why? Because Vice is different. Mahal ka ni waks. He looks at you differently, he talks about you differently and he sees you far different from how we, even kami na pamilya mo, can." K remained silent, and then a sweet smile emerged from her lips.
"O diba ngumiti ka? Kasi totoo. Kilig na kilig din." Sabi muli ni Anne.
"Ikaw napapansin na kita ha, isang linggo mo na akong kinukulit sa wedding wedding na yan. We always end up in that topic everyday." Paghihinala ni Karylle.
"Para kang sira. Eh siyempre nakikita ko na nagiging sobrang intimate na kayo ni Vice. Baka mabuntis ka, ayoko namang maging illegitimate ang mga pamangkin ko no."
Before Karylle could even answer, as if on cue ay narinig nila ang makina ng sasakyan na huminto sa harap ng bahay ni Anne.
"Maybe that's her." Bulong ng kaniyang pinsan.
Pagpasok ng pintuan ng bahay ng kanilang bisita ay labis na gulat ang rumehistro sa mukha nito.
"H-hi!" Halos hindi makawala sa bibig ng bisita ang pagbating iyo.
"Hey Arianne." Maging si Anne ay nagulat dahil una pang bumati si Karylle, she received a smile back from her cousin.
"T-tayo, tayo lang?" Tanong ni Arianne sa dalawa.
"Yes, it's about time we bond again. It's been years since. Sabi niyo namang dalawa sa akin na okay na kayo diba?" Sabi ni Anne.
"Mama!" Biglang sigaw ng isang maliit na anghel na buhat ni Arianne. Nagpumiglas itong bumaba at tumakbo kay Karylle.
Inaamin niya, she can forgive but it will never be the same again between her and Arianne. She can still treat her as family pero yung closeness nila noon, mahirap na sigurong balikan.
Pero nang lumapit sa kaniya ang munting anghel na kawangis na kawangis ni Arianne, inilahad pa nito ang mga kamay niya at nagpapabuhat kay Karylle. When she stared deeply in her eyes, it was like she was brought back into childhood. This kid was Arianne. The cousin she grew up with. The one who supported her with everything, sila ni Anne.
It didn't took long before she carried the kid and hugged her tightly. She never though it was this easy to let go of all the pain from the past.
"P-pasensiya ka na K. She calls everyone mama. Akala niya yun ang norm. Naririnig niya kasi sa akin. Sa atin."
"It's okay. Sobrang kamukha mo siya, Yan." Patuloy pa ring nakayakap ang bata kay Karylle hanggang kalaunan ay nagpababa na ito upang makapaglaro.
"She's a charmer. Mana sa'yo." Puna muli ni Karylle.
"She is. Natatakot nga ako minsan at hindi yan nangingilala."
"Hay nako. Osige, iwanan ko muna kayong dalawa dito, maghahain lang ako sa kusina. Please look after Alfonso, alrighty?" Pagsingit ni Anne sa dalawa.
Isang nakakabinging katahimikan ang bumalot muna sa dalawa. Sure they've already talked before. Nasabi na niya rito ang pag bubuntis niya noon sa anak sana nila ni Dominic at nakapagpatawaran na rin sila, they already even attended events and family gatherings together in the past year pero ngayon lang sila naiwan na sila lang dalawa. It was awkward to say the least.
"Uhm... how are you?" Unang nagtanong si Karylle. That's the best she can say right now.
"I'm doing fine. M-masaya?"
"Tinatanong mo ba ako? Masaya?" Karylle asked. "Or masaya!" She changed her tone.
Arianne let out a small chucke.
"Masaya." She plainly answered. "But K, hindi mo pa rin naman maalis sa akin na maisip kita everytime—"
"Ano ka ba, napag-usapan na natin yan diba?"
"I'm really sorry." Muli nanaman sinabi ni Arianne.
Arianne had already said sorry thousands of times at parang hindi pa yata mauubos iyon.
"Okay na, Yan. Okay na ako. Okay na tayo."
The awkwardness between them has eased down a little as they talk over their merienda date. Paminsan minsan ring napuputol ang kwentuhan nila dahil sa anak ng dalawa niyang pinsan. With Alfonso being the chubby and cuddly sleepy baby that he is and Baby Z as the little charmer, hindi maiwasan ni Karylle ang mainggit. She, too, could be a mom.
"Ano yang mukhang yan?" Tanong ni Anne sa pinsan.
"Wala naisip ko lang, mommy na kayong dalawa. Ako kaya kailan?" Malungkot niyang saad.
"I told you, plan it out withVice. Get married then stop taking pills." Sagot ni Anne.
"I'm not taking pills anymore."
"What seems to be the problem then?" This time it was Arianne who asked.
"My doctor said I would have a hard time getting pregnant the second time around, or worst, I wouldn't get pregnant at all."
Pinaliwanag ni Karylle ang lahat ng sinabi ng Doktor niya sa mga pinsan. Labis na lunkot ang naramdaman ni Vice. Sa kanilang lahat si Karylle ang pinaka may longing to get marries and to have a family of her own. Kahit itago ni Karylle, bakas pa rin sa mga mata niya ang lungkot at pangamba.
As they were talking, Anne's phone rang so she excused herself from the two, although weirded out ay hinayaan na lang ni Karylle si Anne na umalis, leaving her with Arianne yet again.
"Nothing is impossible K."
Biglang nagsalita si Arianne, causing Karylle to focus on her cousin.
"I've had several miscarriages too. Remember when I told you to not blame yourself with what happened? That's because my doctor explained to me na mahina daw talaga ang kapit sa akin ng mga babies. We almost gave out trying kasi sobrang sakit sa pakiramdam yung alam mong buntis ka and then months later lalabas ka ng hospital with no baby in hand. It's not easy, but still with proper help kaya yan. Kaya niyo yan ni Vice."
"That's the thing. I don't even know how he could take it."
"Ano na Viceral ha? Isang linggo na yang preparation na yan, ang lungkot lungkot na nung isa dito!" Anne was on the phone with Vice kaya nag excuse na lang siya sa mga pinsan to talk with him in private.
Vice: Kasama mo siya?
Anne: Iniwan ko dun sa loob. Ano na? Isang linggong meeting? Parang tanga yung excuse mo. Ang luma na rin niyang pag-iwas na yan ah!
Vice: Uuwi na ako bukas. How was the booking? Kailan available?
Anne: I tried my best for next week pero 2 months pa talaga yung available scheds.
Vice: 2 months?! Anne that's too long!
Anne: but they told me that somebody cancelled on the 14th, that's three days from now, hindi pwede yun sobrang lapit na and 2 villas lang—
Vice: get that.
Anne: Wakla three days from now yun! Are you out of your mind?!
Vice: lakasan mo pa para marinig ka! Sarap ring istapleran niyang bibig mo eh.
Anne: Eh kasi naman! I still need to block off my schedule and then—
Vice: block off your schedule your face! Naka maternity leave ka. Tigilan mo ako.
Anne: my photoshoot po ako for a magazine on the 15th pero sige para sa inyo ni K icacancel ko ha, kamahalan?
Vice: good. Kaya favorite kita eh.
Anne: dapat lang! Pang diaper rin ng anak ko yun, sagot mo 1 month supply ni Alfonso.
Vice: kahit one year pa.
Anne: oh my gosh Waks, naiimagine ko na. This is it!
"Anne, is that Vice on the phone?"
Halos maibato naman ni Anne ang cellphone niya nang marinig niya ang boses ni Karylle.
Patay.