The next couple of days were completely marked by Ben.
After our first official date, we'd started talking even more, and he'd taken me out several other times. The day after we bowled, he took me to the movies - we did the thing where we asked for tickets to the next thing playing, and we ended up watching a kid's movie that had us laughing the entire time. A couple of days later, he'd surprised me after school with an offer to go for coffee, and we'd sat there for hours talking and laughing about whatever we could think of. On Friday, he'd taken me out to a "proper dinner," as he called it; a fancy restaurant with a fancy name and fancy – but amazing – food.
And every time, when he'd go to drop me off at my house, he'd end the date with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
I knew that it shouldn't worry me that he hadn't tried to kiss me yet - I should be grateful that he wanted to take things slow and wasn't trying to push me into doing things I wasn't ready to do. The problem was that I did feel ready and I wanted to do these things. I just wasn't confident enough to try and do something about it myself.
Annie assured me that I had nothing to be worried about. She'd even offered to talk to James to see what Ben thought, but I hadn't wanted that - when he finally decided to kiss me, if he ever decided to kiss me, I wanted it to be because he wanted to. Not because James or Annie or anybody else told him he should.
My friends were going insane with this, more than I thought was healthy or normal. With the way they were acting, anybody would think that they were the ones going on dates instead of me. I didn't think a person could be so happy about another person's date, but they'd proven me wrong.
They kept telling me that Ben was perfect and that we were so cute together, but I always brushed them off. He was too perfect, unrealistically perfect, and he was bound to mess up sometime. They thought it was the most ridiculous argument in history, and it did nothing to dim their excitement.
Of course, with all their excitement also came all the questions. Lots and lots of questions.
"So has he finally kissed you yet?" Iris asked over the phone the day after Ben had taken me out to dinner.
I sighed involuntarily. I hated that it bothered me so much - I'd spent all this time wanting a guy who'd want to take things slow, and now that I'd gotten it I wanted him to speed up. "Not yet. He's coming to pick me up in a while, though."
"Again? Holy crap, Elle, you've gone out so much. That's amazing."
I blushed. With the amount of blushing I'd been doing these days, I would've thought my cheeks would grow tired of it. Instead, it seemed as though they'd never tire, no matter how much I blushed. "I know. I mean, it's not that much, I guess. Just a couple of dates."
"Do you think he'll kiss you today?"
"I don't know. I- I hope so?" My voice was softer than it had been. Though my friends had all noticed it on their own accord, I'd never voiced my desire for him to kiss me.
Iris squealed. "Make a move, then! He probably doesn't know you want anything, and he's just being respectful."
"Iris, I don't know how to make a move. Do you think I've ever made a move on a guy before? I have no idea how all of this is supposed to work."
"If you don't want to make a move, you at least have to let him know you want something more."
"What, should I go tell him, hey, Ben, you should really kiss me right now? I don't think so."
Iris giggled. "Of course not. But you can put a hand on his leg if you guys are sitting down. Brush against him occasionally. If you're holding hands, squeeze his. Look him in the eyes and then look down at his lips. Come on, Elle, you'd think you'd know all this stuff already. Don't you read about it all the time?"
"It's different."
"How?"
"This is real. This is Ben." I paused. “I think I really like him.”
I could practically hear Iris smiling. "All the more reason for you to do something about it."
***
“Where are we going?”
“Well, I’m running out of creative ideas – not that my ideas have been creative anyways, it’s harder than you might think – but I thought we could go on a picnic or something.” The way his cheeks turned slightly pinker whenever he mentioned anything cute or special he’d done made both my heart and my stomach contract simultaneously.
“That sounds amazing.” We ended up walking to the park once again; it was a nice place where we’d be able to eat under the shade and be relatively undisturbed. The only other people there were usually under ten or over thirty years old, and our only interruptions were the occasional kid trying to escape their parents, and said parents chasing them down.
I looked down and stared at his hand, which was painfully close to my own. I could almost hear Iris talking to me, telling me to make a move and show him that I wanted to take this one step further.
I can’t do this.
I only needed to move my hand a few centimeters, no more than ten, and I'd be holding his. I wasn't fearing rejection – I was pretty sure that he'd take my hand without complaint. But I didn't have it in me. I wasn't as confident as Annie was. She had no problem letting guys know she wanted them, and her confidence was what attracted most of the guys that regularly flocked around her. When she had her eyes set on a guy, she'd go up and talk to him. I'd wait from afar and hope for guys to approach me.
Maybe that’s why you’ve never had a boyfriend.
I shook my thoughts off and concentrated on what Ben was saying, so I'd respond appropriately to whatever he was saying and not look like an idiot. He was telling me a story about his older brother, who was currently in college, and I wasn't really paying attention.
Not five minutes later, I realized I was worrying for nothing. Ben had taken my hand again, and we were looking for a place where we could sit and eat without much disruption. We found a nice, flat spot near the trees, close enough to the playground so we could watch the kids from afar, but far enough that we couldn't hear anything but a few exceptionally loud screams. We were in the shade, but the sun was near us so we could scoot over if it got too chilly.
He set his backpack on the grass - I think I would've died if he'd actually brought a picnic basket – and started taking out little sandwiches, chip bags, and drinks.
"I didn't know what you'd like." He grinned at me. "So I brought choices. Coke, Sprite, or Orange Juice?"
"Coke. Thanks for this, Ben. I didn't know you could cook." I giggled as he took out a container with brownies.
He smirked. "I can't. My mom made these the other day, I just stole some."
"Ah. I see."
We ate almost in silence, enjoying the soft breeze and the delicious food. “You’ll have to thank your mom for me,” I said, right after I’d swallowed the last bite of my sandwich. “These are amazing.”
“I actually made the sandwiches myself.”
“Oh, really?”
“No.” He chuckled. “I can’t cook to save my life. But I’ll tell her. She’ll probably ask to meet you one of these days – I’m actually surprised she hasn’t brought it up yet.”
I froze at the casual tone of his voice. To my knowledge – or at least to the knowledge of hundreds of authors and fictional characters – meeting the parents meant that the couple was ready to take things to a more serious level.
Are we even a couple?
To my relief, he didn't seem to notice my momentary freak-out, and kept talking like nothing had happened. "This is really nice."
"It is," I agreed, stretching out and lying on my back. The grass tickled my neck, and I closed my eyes and sighed in contentment.
A couple of seconds later, I inhaled sharply as I felt Ben lie next to me. We were pressed together - his leg against my leg, his arm against my arm. He took my hand softly and began to fiddle with it, his fingers switching from locking with mine to tracing random patterns on my palm and on the back of my hand.
***
I woke up with a start, looking around in confusion. I saw kids still playing in the park, and when I turned to my left I found an amused looking Ben, propped up on his arm and facing my way. He wasn’t holding my hand anymore. "Good morning, sleeping beauty."
"Holy crap. I fell asleep?"
"It was either that, or you just spent an hour thinking about how awesome I am and not saying anything."
"An hour? Ben, why didn't you wake me up? Oh my God, I'm so sorry. This is so embarrassing."
He laughed. "Relax, Elle."
"Really, why didn't you wake me up or something? You must've been so bored."
"I kept myself busy, don't worry."
"Doing what?"
"That's none of your business."
"Seriously, though. What were you doing?"
"Why do you want to know?"
I shrugged. "I'm curious. Was I really asleep for an hour? Gosh, I didn't realize I was so tired."
"I don't mind, Elle, stop freaking out about it. Besides, it's probably my fault you're so tired. I did keep you up until two in the morning."
"It's not completely your fault. I kept distracting you, too."
Ben had called me, and we'd tried to hang up several times throughout the night. Every time we said we'd hang up, though, one of us had something additional to say, which ended up sparking a whole new conversation. I didn't even want to think about how much that conversation had cost him – it had been over three hours long. "Next time we should use Skype or something," I added as an afterthought. "That call must've cost so much."
"I don't really mind." Ben shrugged. "I was entertained, it’s always fun to talk to you."
“That’s good to know.”
He turned to me with a smirk on his face. “You talk in your sleep, you know.”
“I do not.”
He laughed. “Sure you do. You were moaning my name.”
“I was not.” I giggled, and I felt my cheeks heat up.
“You were also saying how perfect I am. And how handsome I look today.”
“You wish.”
We stayed in the park, talking side-by-side, until the sun started to set. As soon as I realized how late it was, I looked at my phone in surprise. We'd been talking for hours – not counting the hour I'd been asleep – and we'd never run out of things to say. And every minute that passed, I felt myself growing more and more fond of him.
I really, really like him.
It scared me to think that I’d grown to have feelings for him – he was older, he was attractive, and he could be doing this just to amuse himself for all I knew. But I couldn’t ignore the budding feeling in my stomach that said, he likes you, too.
I guess I did pretty well, I thought. Out of all the guys I could’ve chosen to like, Ben seems like one of the most decent.
He was more than just decent. He was nice. He was respectful. He was funny. I never thought a guy would care about me enough to do special things for me – things like taking me bowling, or taking me on a picnic, or talking to me on the phone for hours nonstop – he’s just as amazing as some fictional characters.
As soon as the thought struck me, I had to stop myself from gasping. Without me even realizing it, he’d won the bet – and if I was being honest with myself, he’d done it a while ago. Although it frustrated me, I realized I liked that he hadn’t made a move on me, and that he was willing to wait until I was comfortable enough to do it. I just had to stop being a coward and show it to him.
Taking a deep breath to steel myself, I took his hand. He turned to look at me, his eyes both surprised and pleased, and smiled.
“Ben?”
“Yeah?”
“I just realized something.”
“Did you?”
Though there was no way he could know, the look in his eyes made it seem as though he already knew what I was going to say before I even opened my mouth. “I think – I think you just won the bet.”
His eyes lit up and he squeezed my hand, beaming. “I think that’s the best compliment I’ve gotten in my life – I managed to win over Elle Grayson? Although I knew you’d end up falling for my charm.”
“I wouldn’t say you’ve won me over,” I teased him, though deep inside I knew that yes, he had.
“If it helps, it’s mutual.” Without giving me time to process what he’d just said, he continued, “I guess I get to ask you to do something now.”
I groaned. “I should’ve kept quiet.”
He grinned mischievously. “You do realize it could be anything, right?”
“I really should’ve thought this bet through. Do you have any ideas?”
“A few.” He smirked. “I could make you run over there, get up on the slide, and dance the Macarena in front of everybody.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Or…I could make you striptease in front of the whole school on Monday.”
“Ben!” I screeched, my cheeks flaming.
He cackled at my expression, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Just kidding. I wouldn’t want you to do that – at least not in front of the whole school.”
I slapped him playfully – it comforted me that, despite his mockingly serious tone, I knew he was just joking. He wasn’t that kind of guy; he’d proven it to me over the course of the past few weeks. “I’m not doing anything if you keep giving suggestions like these.”
“Ah, but you have to.” He grinned, flicking my nose. “We bet on it.”
“And I’m still not doing anything ridiculous. No matter how much you ask.”
He frowned. “I don’t have any ideas, then.”
“Think, and tell me when you’ve got one. Then I’ll decide if it’s something decent enough for me to do.”
"All right, give me a couple of minutes so I can think."
"It doesn't have to be today, you know." I was seriously regretting ever agreeing to this bet. I never would've agreed, if it weren't for the fact that I never imagined he would actually win – I hadn't imagined any of the things that had happened with Ben. I hadn't imagined that he'd actually read the books I'd told him about. I hadn't imagined that he'd take the bet seriously and keep talking to me. And I definitely hadn't imagined that he'd actually want to take me out, whether it was for the bet or in real life.
"Shh. I'm trying to concentrate here."
My unease grew as I saw his face morph into various expressions of amusement. His constant smirk told me that I really didn't want to know what he was thinking of having me do, and I appreciated that he was keeping most of his crazy ideas to himself.
“Give Mr. Lewis a lap dance.”
“No.”
“Tell James you’re in love with him.”
“You’re insane.”
After a couple of minutes of contemplation, I had grown used to the smug expression on his face, so I was surprised when it suddenly morphed into something more serious and thoughtful. He bit his lip in concentration, as though he were making a decision, and finally turned to look at me. He took a deep breath before speaking.
"Kiss me."
"What?"
"Kiss me." His voice was quiet, soft, and if anybody else were asking me this, I'd probably hit them in the face and never talk to them again.
But this was Ben.
Ben, whom I'd been dreaming of kissing since the first time we'd gone out.
I can’t believe I’m doing this.
I took a deep breath, and tried not to overthink it. Technically, it wasn't my first kiss – but I wasn’t counting the first one as an actual kiss. It had been short, awkward, and not at all like I'd imagined a kiss should be like. But this was different. This was Ben. His face was right in front of mine, and I felt my lips part without my consent.
I hadn't even realized I had moved toward him, but before I knew it my eyes were closed and my lips were pressed against his. He shifted his position so he was holding me by the waist, and I moved my arms up and wrapped them around his neck. His lips were soft against mine, demanding yet patient. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, but my lips seemed to have a mind of their own. They were moving against Ben's as though they knew what to do, and I could only hope that I was doing everything right.
After a couple of seconds, all doubts about whether or not I was doing it correctly were gone, and I was completely absorbed in him. It suddenly struck me that I was doing it, that I was actually kissing Ben, and I smiled against his lips. When he felt my smile, he pulled back a little and grinned at me fondly. "Finally. I’ve wanted to do that since I met you.”
Before I could think about responding, his lips were on mine again and I sank into his kiss, forgetting about everything else.
*
I got to update! We're literally leaving the hotel right now and this is unedited, so feel free to point out any mistakes! We're nearing the end of Guilty Pleasure, and I can't believe it :O not too many chapters left! Anyways, I love you guys. Now I'm off to a 9 hour car ride - yay, me.