~ Chapter One - Little pieces ~
"This is your chance Ash. Just go and say 'I love you.'" My best friend Hailey handed her boyfriend a rose flower and pouted dramatically as she said 'you'.
"Thank you sweetheart. I love you too." Logan, her boyfriend, said and then gave that flower to me. "Now go and nail it, Ash."
"Yes, you can do it." Ryan patted me on the back. I hunched forward as he knocked breath out of me with the force he used.
"Don't forget. I will be your maid of honor. Do you understand?" Gracie pointed her index finger at me and narrowed her eyes.
"They aren't even a couple yet and you are already moving into next level." Julia said in her nonchalant tone while leaning against the wall. She was wearing her leather outfit and was leaning against the wall while fiddling with her phone like always. "Anyways, best of luck Ashley." She smiled kindly at me and I smiled back. Only my smile didn't look as good as hers.
"Go for it." Gracie pushed me towards the part of the park where Caleb and Luke were sitting on the bench. I was standing several feet away from them, behind a tree. Luke discreetly looked over his shoulder signaled me to enter the scene.
My hands were sweating as I nervously rubbed one on my jeans while the other one was holding that rose. I took several steps towards them as Luke kept Caleb busy in talking. My breathing became heavy as I neared them. Fear and excitation, both were clouding my senses. Adrenaline was pumping into my veins.
"...yeah that was such a crappy shot. I mean who does that? Throwing the ball that high? It flew out of the field. He doesn't even know..."
Luke was talking about something as I entered the hearing distance.
"No, I don't think so..." Caleb answered to something Luke said in his velvety voice. I stopped in my tracks and turned around to leave. I ignored my friends who were still standing behind the tree waving frantically at me as I moved slowly.
What if he says 'no' to me also? Caleb is one of the most popular boys of the school. Several girls will be in line to have him as their date for prom. Why would he say yes to me? He only sees me as his friend. There can never be anything more to it. Letting my friends convince me to do it was a stupid move from my side.
"Yes, I agree with you..." Caleb said again to something Luke said and I stopped again.
I have been friends with Caleb since middle school. We have been best buddies. He is my neighbor. There's no way he's going to reject me. He simply won't do that. We have been friends for so long. There has to be some feelings from his part also.
With new determination, I again walked to the boy I was going to confess my love to. Luke was telling Caleb something and with his hands he was discreetly calling me to them. With a smile, I continued to walk.
My heart almost stopped when Caleb threw his head back and laughed in his melodious voice. Gosh! Why is he so handsome?
"No, way. That's never going to happen." Caleb said and I stopped again.
What am I even thinking? This is never going to happen. I turned around and started to walk away again. Caleb won't like me like that. He won't ever like me like that. I love him doesn't mean that he loves me too. I'm thinking too much into it. He doesn't love me at all. That's it.
Feeling despondent, I managed to walk a few steps before a voice stopped me.
"ASH!"
My eyes widened as I heard Luke calling out my name. I shut my eyes close and counted ten in my head before turning around quickly.
"Hi!" I smiled nervously all the while murdering Luke inside my head.
"What are you doing here?" It was Caleb who asked the question. They both were still sitting on that bench with one of their arm on the backside of the seat. They were facing each other. Under their gaze, I felt like a culprit. I pulled the hand holding the rose behind my back.
"I-I-I-" I stuttered.
"I've to see Lana." Luke interrupted and stood up and said goodbye to Caleb. He walked past me but didn't forget to give me a thumb up.
"Jerk," I muttered under my breath as he left. I glared at the green grass.
"Ash? What are you doing here?" Caleb's curious voice asked me. My head snapped in his direction.
I opened my mouth and closed it not knowing what to say. My mind had gone blank. Words were swirling inside my head. It was heard to grasp the right words and say. What if I say something wrong? But I can't say something wrong. I can't afford messing this up. Right words, true feelings. That's it. How difficult it can be. Quite difficult.
"Come. Sit here." He patted the place beside him. I hesitantly walked to him and took the seat which Luke was previously occupying. "Are you alright? You're acting weird."
"I-I'm okay. N-N-Nothing's wrong." I shrugged trying to sound casual.
He gave me a curious look. It was clearly written on his face that he didn't believe me. His pale blue eyes searched mine and I held his gaze. Dirty blonde hair were covering his forehead. His handsome face was facing me.
"Are you sure?" He inquired.
"Y-Yeah." I tried to sound casual again but it didn't work. He still had the same look on his face. I sighed knowing I was going nowhere with that.
"Listen," I started without stuttering. "I like you. And I want you to be my date for prom."
There. I said it. I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my chest. I finally I did something. Accomplishment. I was able to breathe after that.
A look of shock crossed his face. I saw it clearly. It was soon replaced by nervousness. "You mean like me as a friend?" He asked hesitantly.
"No, as an enemy." I answered with the omnipresent sarcasm in my voice. He blinked a couple of times at my words. I realized it was not something I should have said. Before he could say anything, I spoke again to clear any confusion.
"I like you as more than a friend, Caleb. I've liked you for long." I told him.
The change in the brightness of his eyes was enough to tell me that I had committed a mistake. He did not like me like that.
All my fears were confirmed with that simple look. He didn't need to say anything at all. It was already clear to me. He didn't love me.
"Ash... listen," he extended his hand to me. I shifted away from him and tried to keep my face blank.
I felt heartbroken and I felt humiliated. What have I just done? I didn't only manage to get rejected by my best friend but also jeopardized our friendship. I am so damn stupid.
I should have known. I should have known. When the guy says that he loves you the way you love him, it is just a dream. Or a stupid movie. In real life things like this don't happen. The reality is so damn bitter. And right now my heart is so broken.
I've hardly ever cried in my life. But at that moment, tears stung in the back of my eyes. It hurt so much. Why did it hurt so badly?
"It's alright," I choked out. My voice sounded thick. The lump in my throat was making it hard for me to say anything. "I understand."
I smiled sadly at him. This is what not what I had wanted. But I'm not going to deny that I had expected something like this. Still the daredevil in me was screaming to just say those words to him. And now I look like a pathetic heartbroken girl.
"I know you don't-"
"I said it's okay Caleb." I said more persistently. He shut his mouth and pursed his lips together, still watching me with his curious and sad face. Pity was written in his eyes.
I don't want it from him. He just rejected me and now he feels sad? This is absurd.
Before I could say anything rude to him, because I knew it was wrong and I was in control of my feelings, I stood up. The rose in my hand felt so heavy. I clutched it tightly in my hand and walked away.
"ASH!" Caleb called out. I knew he had stood up and was going to follow me.
"LEAVE ME ALONE CALEB!" I shouted not too loudly but loud enough to warn him and grab attention of people nearby. "I'M ALRIGHT!" I will be alright is you just leave me on my own right now.
I stomped away from the place where my heart was broken. No one among my friends followed me. If they had, I would have said something rude to them. I was sad. I was angry. And I could have said some hurtful things to them and then feel guilty about it. It would only have increased the burden of feelings on my shoulder.
My car was standing in the parking lot. I got into it and slammed the door. The rose flower was still in my hand. I glared at it for a couple of seconds. Then my eyes fell on the figure approaching me.
Before Luke could reach me, I started the car and drove off.
My best friend broke my heart. He didn't do it intentionally but that doesn't change the fact that I got my heart broken. And it can't be fixed now.
I drove to my house. Mom was still inside while dad was at work.
"I'm home," I hollered and went to my room. My mom didn't inquire much. This is usual. And she doesn't know that something is wrong with me.
I never told mom about my feelings for Caleb but she had sensed it. She knew I loved Caleb. Well, she is my mom after all. She just knows everything. I don't know how but she does.
I locked my room and fell on my bed. Again tears formed in my eyes and I blinked them several times. There is no need of feeling sad over this. Dad has always said, guys are never worth tears. Caleb isn't worth them. So I'm not going to cry. I put my fist over my chest. My heart was beating erratically. I breathed deeply for several minutes till it returned back to its normal rate.
I sat up on the bed and looked at the photograph of Caleb with me. He had put his arm over my shoulder and we were smiling at the camera. The picture sat there, mocking me. I glared at it and muttered a few curses not loud enough for my mom to hear. The names I called for Caleb were not pretty.
After I was done cursing him, I sighed and fell back on the bed. I stared at the ceiling and wondered what he might be thinking about me. He must be thinking that I'm another girl who had fallen for his charm. That is going to be so damn humiliating. Is he going to make fun of my feelings? Gosh! If he does that, I'm going to kill him.
But my heart-
Stop it Ashley! Stop thinking about your broken heart. I should never think about negative aspects of things. That's what dad has always told me. And I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to think about my broken heart even this is all I can think about right now.
Dang it! This is not working.
What do I do in a situation like this?
I shoved my fingers in my hair and massaged my scalp. My eyes roamed around the room and fell on the Algebra book sitting on the study table. It was still open. I hadn't completed studying the entire syllabus. Great! Exams are also coming and I got my heart broken in a situation like this. I groaned and walked to the desk.
Anything to get my mind off my heartbreak.
After three hours, I had completed half the syllabus. That's the fastest I've ever been. I'm not the brightest star but neither am I the dullest. This is an achievement for me. The satisfaction I felt after solving all those questions was so refreshing. I smiled leaning back on the chair.
"Ashley, open the door." There was a knock on the door followed by my mother's voice. I sat up from the chair and rubbed my right shoulder before opening the door.
My mother's face came in view. My mother looks like me. Or I look like my mother. Well, it doesn't matter. The thing is, we look almost alike. She is just older. She has same brown eyes as mine. Her hair are of same dark brown shade as mine. Our face has same heart shape. When it comes to height, she is a couple of inches shorter than me. Height is what I've inherited from dad. It's a department my mother seriously lacks in.
"Are you alright, honey?" She asked me softly with concern.
"Yes mom, I'm okay." I smiled at her. I just completed studying half the syllabus of Algebra without feeling frustrated.
She frowned at me and looking inside the room. I stepped aside to let her inside. She saw the books lying on my table. She headed towards it. I shrugged and sat on my bed casually.
"You were studying Math?" She inquired me curiously.
"Yes mom,"
"Is it because your exams are coming or because you are upset?" She asked. My head snapped in her direction to find her staring at me.
My jaw clenched as Caleb's rejection again played inside my brain.
"I don't study Math when I'm upset." I muttered.
"Yes, you do. Why are you upset?"
"I'm not,"
"You are,"
"Am not,"
"I'm not going to play this game with you." She shook her head and walked towards the bed. I turned my gaze away from her and towards the balcony. She sat on my side and placed her hand on mine.
"Is it because of Caleb?" She asked.
Seriously? Is there someone who tells mom everything about my life?
I didn't answer her and continued to stare out in space.
"Did you two fight? Did he say something to you? Tell me if he did something. I know you can fix it."
"I told him I like him." I finally told her the truth.
She was silent for a few seconds. "What did he say?"
"That he didn't like me. He didn't need to say anything much though. His actions spoke everything clearly."
"Are you sure? What if he actually liked you and you didn't give him a chance to say anything?"
I shook my head. I didn't want to build up false hope. But what is he actually likes me. I didn't give him a chance to say anything. Mom is right about that. But he didn't say to confirm it either. This is so confusing. Couldn't he say anything clearly? Couldn't I talk to him properly? I shouldn't have just walked away like that. Now I'm even more confused.
If I build up another hope and he rejects me again then I'll be even more broken. But what if this works in my favor? Boy, this love is so confusing.
"I'll talk to him tomorrow mom." I murmured.
She smiled at me. "Now don't feel so sad. Come down. It's time for dinner. I've made your favorite lasagna." She told me. At the thought of lasagna, my stomach growled.
*** **
I was working on my laptop after dinner. Dad was still at work so it was only me and mom for dinner. I ate too much. But it tasted so good, I couldn't stop my mouth.
I scanned my contacts and checked social networking sites.
Hailey, Logan, Gracie, Julia, Luke and Caleb are my friends in the school. Hailey and I have been best friends for a really long time. She is the daughter of my father's business associate. We've always been together since kindergarten. That was until she snagged a boyfriend in the freshman year. After that we met Gracie and Luke. Luke was hitting on Hailey at that time but only a glower from Logan was enough to show him his place. In the end we met Julia who was the new girl in the school.
During all this, Caleb is someone I've greatly admired. He is mart and handsome. And he has always helped me. Added to that, he is my neighbor. So he is the closest to me among all my friends. We have spent so much time together-movie nights, dinner with families, playing games and so much more. I managed to fall for him over years but the same didn't happen in his case.
Caleb was friends with all of them before me. He was the one to talk to Hailey first. He was the one to make friends with her first. I was only a common link between them. The same goes for all of them. They were first Caleb's friends and after that they became my friends. That may be because Caleb is more extroverted than me.
But in the end we all are friends. Even though I want to be more than friends with Caleb.
I don't know what his feelings about me are. He didn't tell me anything clearly. But I know whatever he says will not be in my favor. While a large part of me knows this, a small part, a tiny part, still wishes that he loved me- not exactly the way I love him but still a little bit.
Nothing new was posted my friends so I jumped on another well known page- Mia Collins. She is the Gossip Girl of the school. She writes about the latest gossips in her blog in a dramatic way. When I opened her page, the girl with dirty blonde hair stared at me with hazel eyes. She is a beautiful girl. Her face itself serves as an attraction to visit her page.
Caleb Long is finally taken
The title of her newest blog entry grabbed my attention. My heart thumped as I read those words. With wide eyes, I read the details written under that heading. With every word I read, my heart started breaking even more.
Has anyone checked Caleb Long's status recently? If you haven't then I will tell you what does it say? See the picture? It clearly states that Caleb Long is finally in relationship. After staying single for like... forever, the Thompson High's heartthrob has finally got a girlfriend for himself.
Now you must be wondering who this lucky girl is! That's what I'm here to tell you. Caleb's new girlfriend is none other than Natalie Ellis. Yes, you read it correct. The beautiful daughter of the principal is Caleb's new girlfriend.
While Caleb has stayed single in past, Natalie had three boyfriends. Cody Hayes, Jake Owens and Henry Myers have been with the brown haired beauty in the past. Cody is the captain of Volleyball team while Jake and Henry are in football team.
Natalie has liked her boys to be players, on both senses. But now suddenly she has settled on Caleb Long who is known for playing guitar and looking damn sexy while doing that. The change in flavor has shocked everyone.
The new couple is going to junior prom together. Look at the picture at side. Don't they two look so cute like that?
Finally the allegations that Caleb will end up with Ashley Donalds have stopped. Ashley is a beauty but the brunette would have not suited Caleb as good as Natalie does. Still there are several students who are in Team Ashley. But guys, we are in Team Natalie because Team Natalie will win forever.
I hope that this new couple will maintain their relationship for long. After all it is Caleb Long we are talking about.
There were a couple of pictures of Caleb and Natalie at the side. The blonde looked good at my former best friend's side. They truly looked like a royal couple.
So, that confirms it. Caleb doesn't love it. What more confirmation do I need? There is no use of going to him and asking him. I will only get humiliated if I do that. I should close this matter here.
This love hurts so badly. I wonder why people fall in love. To get hurt?
** **
Next chapter _ Meeting Blade Brown