Chloe
Liam was leaving in four days.
Or was it five days?
It had been three days since he'd said he was leaving, so it was four days.
Four days. Then he was going away. For months. Which was fine. It was. Really.
So Liam wouldn't be around for her birthday, or so she figured, and wouldn't be there to do all the things they'd started doing together. She'd just gotten used to having him around, just gotten used to the fact that, maybe, he did make her dad happy, even though he'd made him cry, and had just decided that she liked the title 'papa' on him, and he was leaving.
Which was fine.
That was her new phrase.
Jessica always said it, even when she wasn't fine. Jessica said it a lot, especially after her girlfriend dumped her and her next boyfriend decided to date her ex-girlfriend. Jessica also said it after Chloe threw up on her brand new rug, or when her dad was three hours late to collect her.
Fine was a phrase Chloe had slowly learnt meant that things weren't actually fine, and it seemed app- Appro- Appropriate, appropriate for her to use now.
Chloe was not okay with Liam leaving. Not in the slightest. She was going to miss him. Really. It felt like he was glad to be going. He hadn't said anything, and she'd learned from watching Coronation Street with Jessica that, when people did that, it generally meant they didn't want you to know they were going, which meant that they were looking forward to leaving.
Her dad...she'd been told that wasn't true, that Liam was only leaving for his work, with Zayn and Lou and Hazzy, (none of them had come through on their promises to hang out with her, either; Zayn hadn't let her paint his walls and there hadn't been another tea party with Hazzy, but she wasn't going to complain about that, not right then at least), but Chloe wasn't all that inclined to believed him. Her dad wasn't upset about Liam leaving.
She'd've thought he would've been, but he wasn't. Which led her to believe, with some help from Toby, that her dad had known. (Not that she'd told Toby everything. She wasn't allowed to. She'd been told ages ago that telling the whole story would be a bad thing, and so she'd lied. Toby didn't know and didn't mind. He was having enough trouble with his new stepdad and new sisters. He didn't like his new stepdad. He stopped Toby's real dad from seeing Toby and Toby's mum had agreed with him. Toby had been the one to figure out that her dad knew.) And then he hadn't said anything either. Which meant that he maybe lied about Liam not, not wanting to get away from them. She hadn't asked any further questions, though, and she wasn't being made to see Liam.
Her dad and Liam kept making secret phone calls as well. But only when her dad thought she wasn't paying attention. Secret phone calls where things like, "Liam, she's upset. I'm not going to force her to. I know. Look...how about lunch tomorrow? I'll take the earlier shift and we can...do whatever. Go for lunch. Catch a movie. Catch up on the TV we've missed," or "I love you, you know that, Li. She'll come round. There's still six, five, four days left,' were said.
Her dad kept saying that was fine too. Which Chloe took to mean that it wasn't fine. But...she was going to miss Liam, and she didn't know how to deal with that. She'd come as close to dealing with the information was deciding that it wasn't fair. And she was right. It so wasn't fair. Liam was leaving, and she had to be okay with that. And she was not. As she'd said; she'd gotten used to Liam being around. He'd stepped up to the role of 'papa' and having him around...she loved him. Like she did her dad. And he was leaving.
Which took her back to her first problem.
And maybe the second problem; dealing with Liam leaving.
Her dad wasn't making her see Liam. She'd asked if she could maybe not see him, and he'd agreed. So she wasn't even going to have to see Liam before he left if she didn't want to. And she didn't know if she did. She didn't not want to, but she also didn't want to.
Which was how it got to be two days before Liam was supposed to leave and she still hadn't seen him. Her dad had, though. She'd spent a night at Jessica's, during which her Dad and Liam had gone on a date (she'd helped her dad figure to which shirt to wear and had told him not to gel his hair as it always went funny). And she and Jessica had watched one of Liam's interviews, where he'd talked about her dad. He always said things, things normally heard on TV, about her dad, and he always sounded really, really excited for tour.
Chloe wanted to tell Liam that, and ask him more questions. She'd figured that he might have been joking when he said he wasn't that famous. She wanted to ask Liam, but she didn't. And she didn't want to say as much to Niall. but she ended up telling Jessica. Who listened, braiding Chloe's hair and making her a mug of hot chocolate to clutch whilst she struggled to explain what she wanted.
Jessica had listened, and hadn't minded Chloe's lack of coherence, and had called Niall after she'd dropped Chloe off at her swimming practice, explaining how Chloe felt about the subject without making the seven-year-old struggle to put it into words again. Chloe had been unaware of Jessica's interference, giving Niall the tired half-smile she'd only been capable of giving for the past few days as he met her poolside, her grip on Niall's hand tighter than usual as they went home.
Chloe had been in her pyjamas, ready for bed, when Niall tried to broach the subject with her, knocking softly on her bedroom door before he entered, giving Chloe a fond smile as he watched her arrange her stuffed toys, placing her favourite next to her pillow and sitting cross legged as she reached for her blanket and duvet.
Niall sat on the end of her bed, smoothing out her duvet and watching her for second before he asked, "Chlo, if we talk about Liam, can you tell me what you're thinking? 'Cause you...you aren't very happy, poppet. And I want to help."
"Liam's leaving." Chloe shrugged a little, nestling back against her pillow and focusing on her toys for a moment before she decided to elaborate a little. "Really soon. It's like...it's just got normal, having Liam around, having plans with him. He didn't say, not to me, and it's like he wants to go. Doesn't want to be around. I don't know if that's okay or not."
"It doesn't have to be okay. It doesn't have to be not okay. It's how you feel." Niall reached forward, pressing a kiss to the top of Chloe's head, moving so he was sat next to her and tucking her duvet around the both of them. "Liam, I promise you, Liam is not leaving because he wants to get away from us. I swear. I know it's a change, another one, after so many, but it's not permanent. Liam being around, this, it's permanent and it's normal. Liam being away will only be for a little bit."
"He said months." Chloe watched triumphantly for a moment as Niall opened his mouth and closed it, struggling to think of answer for that, shaking his head and giving her a half-smile before he smoothed out her duvet again. Chloe let Niall tuck her in again, settling down again her pillows, her arms full of stuffed animals as she settled down, her eyes closing for a moment before popping open again. "If Liam leaves, and I don't see him, will things not be okay?"
Niall stood in the doorway, one hand wrapped around the doorknob, watching Chloe for a moment before he sat back on the end of her bed. "If you don't see him, it'll be okay, Chlo. Well, it might not be, but we'll get past it. If you want to. Liam's feelings will be hurt, he's already hurt, but it'll get better."
Chloe cuddled into Niall's side as he moved up, wrapping his arm around her again, the seven-year-old moving the blankets to include Niall as she muttered, "Liam's hurt? I am too."
"Oh, Chlo." Chloe let her eyes close once more as Niall's fingers carded through her hair, curling up and hiding her face in Niall's t-shirt as she began to drift off into sleep. She didn't stir as Niall gently eased her head onto the pillow, standing up and tucking her duvet back over her before he left, and, for once, she didn't hear as Niall called Liam, lowering his voice and leaning against the kitchen worktop as he said, "Li, she's...Chloe's upset. More so than...than I thought. I don't know how to fix this. I- I don't know if I can make it better. I don't know how we can make it better."
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So...here we are again.
I'd apologise and say that it's too early in the morning for something so angsty (as angsty as Count On Me is ever going to get) but I'm pulling an allnighter so really, it's too late for such angst.
I'm on mobile at the moment so I can't really dedicate but when I get chance I will properly dedicate this to
I'll also have to properly edit this later but I wanted to update now whilst I'm on a study break so if there're any weird typos, bear with me.
Thoughts on the chapter?