I looked up as Park Doyun stopped in front of me. I quit scrolling through my emails and gave him my attention.
"Try to hurry up with that article," he said brusquely.
I bowed my head. "Yes, sir."
He looked at me sharply. "Who is Seong Hajun?"
My chest squeezed, unable to handle the suddenness of the question. "Why?"
"Someone mentioned his name in connection with you."
I breathed in very deliberately, trying to ease the tension in my chest. "He was my boyfriend."
"Was?"
"Why are you so determined to know?"
"I..." he stopped, thinking something over, before shaking his head. "Did you split up? Maybe he became possessive, stalked you?"
My brows wrinkled. "What are you talking about? He was killed." My matter-of-fact tone grated on my own nerves.
His face went pale. "What do you mean?"
"He was shot in the head, okay? Who talked to you about him?"
He walked off, not answering. I stood up, intending to follow him and find out what he was on about, but before I could catch him the two boys called to me. "Really? Killed? By who? Why?" they clamored.
The lump that had been threatening to form in my throat tightened. I felt like I was going to choke.
"We don't know."
Even after all this time...
I extricated myself from the boys' inquisitiveness and strode to the bathroom. After I verified that there was no one else in the bathroom, I took a deep breath.
It was easier, now that I was alone in silence, to keep myself calm.
Two months was enough time to give me some reconciliation to Hajun's death, but not enough that I could be completely calm about it. And I still wanted to know – who had killed him?
I couldn't let go and have peace when the question still nagged at me.
I looked at my face in the mirror and gave a small smile. Maybe I couldn't have peace, but I would be fine.
Everyone has ghosts, right? Mine was a lively, lovely boy named Seong Hajun.
*
Walking along the path, I looked around the park. Spotting green hair, I headed to the tall man sitting on a bench.
"Hello," I called.
He turned and his eyes crinkled, a sign that he was smiling even though I couldn't see it through his mask. "Hi, Chunhwa!" He rose to his feet, then stood there awkwardly as if he wasn't sure why he'd stood up.
"How are you?" I said, taking a seat on the bench. He sat down next to me.
"Good. Busy, but that's normal. How about you?"
"I'm fine."
"So, if you don't mind my asking... what happened with your boyfriend? How did he get killed?"
I glared at him, than was distracted by his green hair. In my opinion, it was just a bit too much. "You know, the pink hair was better."
"What." His eyebrow raised.
"Sorry, I got distracted. Where were we? Oh. Hajun." I looked out across the park. "So the police say they found him in an alley, he was shot there the night he went missing, and it took them a ridiculous amount of time to find him. They still don't know who or why."
"Still?"
"Yes. You know, I used to have a high opinion of our police. But with this, and the business with the roses, I've been very disappointed."
"What business with the roses?"
I shook my head. "It's not important; that stuff is over with." I opened my backpack, looking for my lunch. "Have you eaten?"
"Not yet."
I looked at the kimbap I'd packed. Of course, the time I packed one of my favorite foods. "You want some kimbap?"
He looked at me. "You don't have to–"
"Just take some already." I held out the box toward him, and he hesitantly grabbed a piece, took off his mask and popped it in his mouth.
As I chewed, I looked around the park. For about the hundredth time I thought how nice this park was, and how great it felt to be out here in the sun.
"Wouldn't it be most likely that he was robbed and then killed? A mugging gone bad?" My mouth froze as my head swung around to Namjoon. A small smile grew on his face. "Don't look so shocked, Chunhwa. It's too cute."
I frowned at him and worked to swallow the bite of food. "A robbery makes so much sense! Why didn't the police say anything about it?"
He shrugged. "Maybe you could ask them about it."
"Seriously, they're so stupid." Their incompetence was really beginning to anger me.
He cleared his throat. "Anyways, read any good books lately?"
I allowed him to change the subject. "Not really. How about you?"
He began to list off a few books. I listened amazed. How did he find time to read with all his responsibilities as the leader of an idol group?
I smiled as he got excited and continued to talk about one of the books. It was so... endearing when he became earnest and began to philosophize.
"You're so well-spoken," I said when he paused.
Giving an embarrassed laugh, he looked away. "Not really."
"Humble, too." My phone went off, and I realized what time it was. "I should head back to work now. Sorry, Namjoon."
"No, that's fine. Thanks for meeting me."
"It was good to see you," I said sincerely. "It's nice to have someone I know in Seoul."
He smiled. "I might be able to come back in a couple of weeks, if you'd be free?"
Smiling back, I tipped my head. "Maybe. We'll see."
He laughed. "Let me know. Bye, Chunhwa."
"Bye!" I waved as I walked toward my car.
Throwing my backpack in the passenger seat, I chuckled at the smile that remained on my face. Seeing Namjoon today had reminded me of the Christmas two years ago, before I met Hajun and before my delusion that someone was threatening from the shadows. That Christmas had been so peaceful and cheery.
My phone was suddenly barraged by numerous texts. I sighed – it was probably the other interns, wondering where I was and why I had avoided taking them with me.
Back to mundanity.
*
When I got back to my desks and dealt with the two irate interns, I searched through my purse for the business card the younger policeman had given me.
Finding it, I dialed the number into my phone and looked at the card. That was right, his name was Kim Yeongho.
"Hello, this is Officer Kim Yeongho," he said when he picked up.
"Hello. This is Jeong Chunhwa, the girl whose boyfriend Seong Hajun was killed two months ago?"
He sighed. "I remember you."
"I wanted to ask–"
"Sorry, I've been taken off the case. I'll transfer you to Lee Jeongho, who's in charge of the investigation."
"What do you mean, taken off the case?"
"It's been a long time. We just can't afford to keep multiple men on old cases. Lee Jeongho is more than capable. Let me transfer you."
"Wait – is he the same older officer that came with you to interview me, and to the funeral?"
"Yes. He's really a very good officer, and the police chief's brother too. I'll let you talk to him." Kim Yeongho's voice held a bit of impatience, and I held my questions. He'd been the nicer of the two officers, and I didn't want to irritate him just now.
"Hello?" A gruff, older voice said.
"Hello, is this Lee Jeongho?" I asked.
The officer grunted. "Ye. Who is this?"
"I'm Jeong Chunhwa, the girl whose–"
"Right, the pestering girlfriend of Seong Hajun," he said. "I remember you."
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to ask one question," I said apologetically.
He sighed. "Go ahead."
"I was wondering why you never said anything about robbery, when it seems like that would be the most probable reason he was killed."
The moment of silence stretched out forever. I halfway hoped he'd tell me that yes, it had been robbery, and they just didn't know who.
"It would be likely, except nothing was taken from his body."
I couldn't stop a sharp intake of breath. "Nothing?"
"He still had his phone, his wallet, his money, his watch, his coat – everything that could motivate someone to kill him for them. Sorry, we ruled out robbery a long time ago."
"Have you found out anything else–"
"Sorry, no." His voice became a bit less gruff. "We are doing our best, Jeong Chunhwa. Don't worry."
I let out a shaky sigh and thanked him. Hanging up, I put my head on my hands.
Hajun's smiling face floated in my mind. "Why were you killed?" I whispered. "Who would murder you so brutally?"
It just didn't make sense! My fists landed suddenly on my desk.
"Chunhwa?" one of the interns asked.
"I'm fine," I said rigidly. He hesitantly turned back to his work.
Anger was better, for now. I knew that later it would be a different story, but now I was only angry.
As I put Kim Yeongho's business card back, I saw the photos of Hajun that I still hadn't taken out of my purse.
I took them out for the first time and stared at them. His smile was so wide and infectious.
Sucking in a breath, I returned the photos to my purse. More time, and he would be a bittersweet memory. More time, and an answer to his death.
For now, he was a ghost that wouldn't sleep.
***
Author's note: I finally updated; sorry about that! I'm nearing the end of the semester and things are getting crazy. I wanted to know what you guys think about a name change to the story; I was thinking "When Shadows Fall" or something like that. Let me know what you think! And thank you for reading!