REYNA NESTLES HER CHEEK against my chest. Bare skin brushes bare skin, gathering warmth as our limbs relax from sex and intertwine, searching for peace and relief. The musk and perfume from our bodies mingle and dance between the threads of my bedsheets. Darkness bleeds across the room, yet I still stare at the ceiling like I can make out the minuscule details of it.
This is always what she wants.
"Do you feel better?" I muffle into her hair before kissing it gently.
"Yes," comes her raspy response. She sniffs and holds me tight like I'll disappear if she lets down her guard. I return the embrace with hatred steadily boiling inside me. Fury fuels the flames in the pit of my stomach. Even though I know it helps her feel better, the mere act of using sex to erase her pain sickens me. Reyna has been seeking solace under our roof and in my arms for the duration of our relationship. Despite our efforts to keep her away from the disgusting bastard that lives in her home, the most we can do is provide ours when she needs us. "I-I hate him so much," she weeps.
My lungs constrict. "I know."
"I wish he would just go away. J-just die and leave me alone," she continues, voice hoarse under the strength of her tears.
I hold back as much as I can as moisture stings my eyes. "I know. I'm so sorry."
We lie like this for a while, following the same routine we have for months now. Reyna never fails to come to me like this, broken and terrorized because of David. She'll stay here for a few days until he demands she return home. I hate it. I hate sending her home to him knowing about everything he does. I'm useless. Young and powerless. Who's going to believe the cries of two teenagers over a man and woman in their thirties?
No one.
Reyna looks up at me in the darkness. I can imagine her eyes red and slightly swollen from crying. "I love you," she whispers.
"I love you too," I say as gently as I can despite the pain ripping my insides to insignificant shreds.
She places her fingers along my jawline and leans up to kiss the edge of my mouth. "I wish you could do something about it. I know what happened last time, but if we took a different approach..."
My heart sinks. I know exactly where this is going. "Reyna," I say her name as firm but as gently as I can, falling somewhere into a weak submission.
She leans up and presses her full mouth against mine, desperation guiding every movement. "What's the worst that could happen now? Everyone already hates us. There's nothing more that could be taken away from us."
"There's so much that can be taken away." I want to stop these thoughts before they can form. The last time she convinced me to do something reckless, it nearly ruined my life. It has ruined my life. I don't like feeling her pain like this. It hurts so much, but taking action will only hurt us even more.
"But it's worth it, isn't it?"
"Do you really think it is? I mean, I'm the one who's taken all repercussions, and-"
Reyna pulls away from me fast and blubbers, "A-are you blaming this on me?"
"I'm sorry." I wipe her soaked cheeks and caress my thumbs over the flushed skin. "I just don't want to do anything reckless again."
"Don't you love me?" she cries and wraps her fingers around my wrists.
My heart shatters and it kills me just watching her break down like this. I wish I could make her happy. I wish I could ease her pain. But treating our conflict with David with anger and malice will only lead me to spiral into a cycle of regret. That's what I learned in management, at least. "Of course, I do." I lean over and kiss her forehead. "I love you so much, Reyna. I just want to finish this year without conflict. Once we're out of high school, we can get you as far away from him as possible. That's our best shot."
She becomes quiet. She doesn't like my answer; she never does, but now there is understanding there. If things haven't changed already, they won't change now. The only thing that can change is us when we finally leave this hell hole.
Reyna nestles into me and holds her arms around herself. I embrace her and kiss the top of her head before whispering how much I love her and how everything is going to be okay. I wish I could promise that David would never touch her again. I wish I could promise that she'll get away sometime soon. I wish I could promise that we'll escape from this, but a part of me is terrified that it'll never come true.
.・。.・゜
Lea is already in calc by the time I arrive. She greets me with an annoyingly bright smile with enough solar power to blind me. It only grows when I pull out the first volume of The Walking Dead and slap it on her desk. "Take care of it," I demand as I slide into my seat. "Or you owe me big time."
"I'll protect it with my life!"
"You better." I slump into a seat two away from her and pull out my notebook. I'm still unsure of what I think of this girl. She's either legitimately nice and therefore naïve. Or she's up to something and I'm the naïve one. Either way, the odds of us becoming friends are slim. Reyna would never allow it. No matter how legitimate she may be.
"How many volumes have you read?" She slides out of her seat and slides into the one next to mine. "Do you watch the show? Is it gory like that?"
"Try worse." I lean my cheek on my palm and angle away from her. Pulling out a notebook, I pretend to study it intensely. "It's pretty dark too. If you can't handle it-"
"Why wouldn't I be able to handle it?"
I glance over to find her staring at me accusingly like the next thing I say could potentially put me in the doghouse. "You seem like the type of girl who sings about sunshine, rainbows, and the power of friendship."
She gives me a flat look. "Way to assume. Maybe if you had an actual conversation with me, instead of trying to avoid me, you'd know what I'm really like."
I twist towards her and cock my head to the side. "Maybe if you stopped being stalkerish and weird, I wouldn't avoid you."
She presses her lips into a tight line and narrows her eyes. I smirk. Gotcha. She opens her mouth. Shuts it. Opens again. Shuts it again. Before either of us have a chance to say anything further, students begin piling in. That's my cue. I sit forward and angle my head down. As annoying as she is, I'd hate for people to bully her for being associated with me. Seats fill in around us and a pair of footsteps slow behind our desks.
"You don't have to sit next to him, you know? In fact, you probably shouldn't." The girl's voice isn't familiar, but full of judgment nonetheless.
"I don't mind," Lea says in a soft voice stained with confusion.
"You're new here, aren't you?"
Lea doesn't respond so I can only assume she nods.
"Word of advice," the girl says, "if you want to stay out of trouble, stay away from him. His girlfriend too. They're shitty people."
I clench my fist on my lap and clench my teeth. Shitty people. What do they know? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I can take the criticism. I'll take the brunt of their hate like a thrash right against my back. What I can't do is let Reyna take their abuse. She's already dealing with enough at home.
The girl walks away, but the anger stays. The hurt. The pain.
I keep my head low and maintain my emotions. I wrap them up in a ball and bury them deep. It'll all be over soon. The rest of class goes by, and I try my best to pay attention and take notes. I don't look at Lea, but I feel her eyes boring into the side of my head for the remainder of the hour. What does she think now? That I'm a danger? That she should keep her distance? Good.
When the bell rings, I already have my things gathered and am out the door before Mr. Jones can declare that we'll be receiving our first homework assignment this week. I don't make it far. Her hurried footsteps patter behind me before her voice carries across the hall. I cringe and glance around as the halls begin to flood with hungry eyes. More people are going to notice.
"Callum, w-wait up," Lea pants.
I walk faster.
"I'm sorry!"
I stop, genuinely confused, and look at her over my shoulder. "Sorry?"
"I should have defended you. I-I don't know why I didn't. A good friend isn't a bystander."
"We aren't friends."
"You let me borrow your comic."
"'Cause I was being nice. You're going to make me regret it."
"Aren't you nice to people you'd like to become your friend?"
I hesitate. There's no good reason why I decided to let her borrow my comic. Maybe I just felt bad because I've been a bit rude to her. Maybe I just don't know how to respond to friendship anymore. "Look, people don't like me at this school. If you want to make friends, a lot of friends, you'd stay away from me."
"Why don't people like you here?"
Just as I open my mouth to respond, a curly top of black hair over dark eyes and olive skin stops me. My tongue freezes. Fog rests over my brain. I itch to remove myself from his proximity. I don't want to be close to him or any of his idiot friends. I look down at Lea. "Why don't you ask your friend Jeremy?"
"What?" She follows my previous line of vision and turns her head over her shoulder.
I take the opportunity to disappear into a sea of bodies and go to Reyna's class. I don't need more friends. Letting her borrow my comic doesn't mean anything. Keeping my head low, I hang outside of Reyna's class until it empties out. Then I head inside to find her gathering her notebooks and pens. Her head is low, dark hair providing a curtain around her face. Air as cold as ice lingers around her. My heart drops. Either something happened or she's still broken up about last night.
"Hey." I slide into the seat next to hers and help her gather her things. "How was class?"
"Shit," she hisses. She dares to peek at me and exposes her wet eyes and red cheeks. "I hate people. I hate them so much."
My heart cracks. "Did someone say something?"
"When don't people say something?" she snaps and snatches her pens away from me. "I can't wait until this year is over." She stands up from her desk and storms out of the room before I can say another word.
I hurry after her and touch her wrist to get her to slow down midst the crowds of students. "Who was it?"
"Does it matter?"
"What did they say?"
"The same thing they always say, Callum." She stops and turns fast, staring up at me with hatred in her eyes. "You know, if you had handled our situation better, we wouldn't be in this predicament."
The words hit me so hard that I can't get my legs to move as she takes off again. My chest aches and burns. She didn't mean that. She's just upset. She doesn't blame me. It's true though. It is my fault that everyone hates us. Had I handled myself better, maybe things would have been different for us. Maybe I could have gotten her help. Instead, we lost everything.
Even my own girlfriend resents me. I know she doesn't mean to, but deep down, she believes this is all my fault. I'm the reason why we have a bad reputation. Why we're pitted against everyone. I'm not the one who needs new friends. She is.
I stare down at my hands and close them slowly. Maybe Lea could be useful after all.
.・。.・゜
Why do you think Callum and Reyna have a bad reputation?
bri❄️