Chapter Eight: Draco
November 1996
"Let's try this again, Draco."
"Bella, he's had enough—"
"Don't interrupt me, Cissy!"
Draco's aunt and mother argued aimlessly about him. Not that he was surprised, or anything – they always did fight, considerably a lot more since his aunt escaped Azkaban as far as his mother was concerned. The argument went on for a few minutes, but perhaps by the time that they had finished; his mind was already elsewhere.
It's been weeks since he'd been caught by Blaise and Pansy near the Room of Requirement. Though they never fully ousted it, it was possible that they already figured out where he'd been going off to these past few months. He was, however, surprised to find that they never asked him again. And when he had Crabbe and Goyle double their guarding duties to high alert, the couple never went up to the seventh floor since then.
He didn't know whether they were trying to give him his space as he had wordlessly asked them to or that they just didn't care anymore. It pained him to think that it might be the latter. While he never quite considered Crabbe and Goyle to be his friends, he did consider Blaise and Pansy. They had better minds than the two boys put together and certainly knew more about him than anyone else in the school. It just as troubled him that he had to push them away because any more time spent with them, he might just end up spilling his sins – and he certainly couldn't do that if he wanted both his parents alive.
"Draco, are you sure you can handle just one more?" Narcissa asked him softly, placing a gentle hand against his on the armchair. "Just say the word and we'll stop this now."
"Nonsense!" Bellatrix scoffed unpleasantly as she rounded the room impatiently; the same room they've been using nearly every other week at Hogsmeade to practice his Occlumency. "He's perfectly capable of another go. He's getting better! And surely, if he goes at least five minutes without showing me a single memory – then we'll know he's ready. By then we'll know he'll be safe from the Dark Lord."
Narcissa's eyes narrowed dreadfully, as if she was trying to consider this before she looked up to him again. "Draco?"
"I can handle it, mother. Don't worry." Draco assured her before taking her hand and squeezing it into his. "I'll be alright. I promise."
His mother nodded gravely before moving away and standing just a little off to the side. Bellatrix finally moved in front of him, her bendy wand at the ready as she pointed it at his forehead. There was a pregnant silence for what felt like hours as he emptied and rid his mind of any thoughts or feelings. Then, he heard the strong incantation.
"Legilimens!" Bellatrix screeched.
The familiar sharp pain hit him from his head down to the tips of his toes and he instinctively closed his eyes. There was nothing but black, silky void in his view. Like the many practices that he was close to succeeding, he floated through the space of the darkness. His entire body was now relaxed and the pain subsided far faster than it did in the past. He weaved through the dark, empty vast – his whole being in limbo, concentrating on keeping it that way.
Suddenly, there was a loud banging. At first, he thought it might be coming from the room where he was settled in with his aunt and mother – probably housekeeping to check on them. But then he realized it was around the warp of his barren space. The banging went on for several minutes, as if whoever was doing the sound was asking for entrance. He shut off the noise calmly, focusing on the desolate blackness, his mind at peace despite the racket that seemed to increase by the minute.
Draco was confident of his skill now, blocking out anything that could possibly distract him. However, in his arrogant tranquility, came his mind drifting into a color just dotted in the silky void. He thought he might distract himself by staring at the attractive color, to block out the banging that went on and on for what seemed like hours now. And then, all at once, the tiny color that he'd been focusing on grew and he was immediately sucked into a world full of light.
The scene shifted before him. Now, he was high on top of the world, riding his broom with the grace he did when he wasn't using it for Quidditch. But instead of holding onto his broom's handle, he was holding onto someone seated in front of him – her black as night hair whipping shamelessly against his face. Draco pushed the strands of hair away from him menacingly before he realized that the girl sitting before him was Astoria. Almost at the mention of her name in his head, she turned around and smiled at him.
"Hey, look at that! You're actually smiling!" Astoria jabbed at him with a slight giggle, her green eyes boring into his grey ones pleasantly. "You should really smile more! It's certainly more attractive than your pompous smirk!"
"You think I'm attractive?" Draco heard himself tease her as he drew closer, the cold winter air rushing past him a bit faster now. "Little Greengrass, I'd never thought I'd see the day."
"I said your smile, Malfoy, not you in general." Astoria rolled her eyes at him as she threw her head back in laughter, her sweet-smelling head now splayed against his chest. "I wouldn't be attracted to your arrogance if it saved me from dragon pox!"
Draco found himself laughing at this and inevitably inhaling the witch's sweet scent of vanilla and roses; and he is briefly reminded of their little Amortentia incident only a few days ago. It was the same incident that granted him this "date" with Astoria, even if she claims that it isn't one. It definitely was, no matter how other people put it. Her eyes sparkled with merit as she looked up at him, her head still resting against his chest. It took all of his self-control not to lean down and feel her lips against his, the way they probably should have had Slughorn not interrupted them days ago.
Then, all at once, an excruciatingly painful shock hit his head and travelled through his entire body. The scene of Astoria laughing and staring at him with her green eyes dissolved into instant darkness, and he opened his eyes to find that his aunt was now inches before him. Her hands were fists against his black coat and the look on her eyes was pure, unadulterated menace.
"What are you doing, you foolish child?!" Bellatrix's shrill voice resounded throughout the room. "You fool! Coward! How dare you?! You were doing perfectly fine!"
"Bella, please, that's enough!" Narcissa's voice rang behind his aunt pleadingly. "He's just a boy!"
"A boy that's about to be dead if he doesn't rid his mind of this ridiculous Greengrass girl!" Bellatrix shrieked violently before pushing him away. "A repulsive school-boy crush on a girl! Pathetic! This is not the right time to be thinking about kissing innocent little girls, Draco!"
Draco tumbled back into his seat, but before he could actually understand what was going on in his surroundings, he heard the curt, loud cry of an unforgivable curse.
"Crucio!"
Draco let out a blood-curling scream as the most unbearable pain rounded into him. He lurched forward and fell onto the unforgiving floor.
His bones felt like wrought iron as their heaviness held his entire body down. Both of his legs writhed dangerously as they twisted in odd angles, giving him terrible discomfort. His arms, on the other hand, were forced to stretch upwards as if someone was pulling them far into the back of the room like taffy. It was pure, unsurpassable horror and his body twisted and jumped from left to right, every part of him felt like he was being injected with thousands upon thousands of hot waxed knives. He could feel his throat tighten up as harsh tears welled from his eyes, blinding him from everything. Though the pain was just as deafening, he could distinctly hear his own cries and screams just as clearly as he could hear his aunt and mother have a row.
"Bella! Stop it, please! Please, stop it!" Narcissa's cries echoed throughout the room. "Please, make it stop! Bella, stop! Stop, you're hurting him!"
Then he heard the sound of Bellatrix's roar of pain, and in an instant, the monstrous suffering that he was going through perished. Draco couldn't move an inch as his vision cleared, though hot tears continued to run down his cheeks as he breathed out heavily – trying to contain the rate of his heart hammering so painfully against his chest. There was a loud thud a few steps away, but he didn't bother himself to figure out what it had been.
His mother then came into his line of vision and she helped him get up. He cried out his misery as he was moved, every inch of his body burning like hot lead and his head pounded with a beating so strong that his head spun, hardly seeing what was going on now.
"Don't you dare touch my son, you heartless bitch!" Narcissa screeched violently above the sound of Bellatrix's groans. "How could you, Bella?! He's your nephew!"
Draco sniffed as he tried to wipe the tears from his eyes clumsily, now seeing his aunt trying to get back up from the ground; wand still at hand. A cold shiver ran down his spine, his anxiety increasing in fear. But before he could draw out his wand and attack the witch, she let out yet another cry of a curse; louder than the first.
"CRUCIO!"
He braced himself for the impact, but when he felt his mother's hold leave him and heard her cries of pain – he knew it wasn't him. Draco's eyes widened as he moved towards his mother despite the pain still burning in his bones. Narcissa's body writhed in odd angles, and her harsh breaths and howls of agony nearly shook the entire room. His tears were running just as fast now and for one whole minute his entire world fell apart at the sight of his mother's mangling body.
Draco internally screamed at himself. Do a counter-curse. Anything. Do anything! Is there even a bloody counter curse? Think, Draco, think!
But his mind was void of any counter-curse as he watched his mother wriggle in pain.
Draco looked up to his aunt and drew out his wand, pointing it towards her as he yelled, "Cru—"
"Expelliarmus!" Bellatrix bellowed, shifting her wand towards him. His fingers felt hot pain as his wand was disarmed from him – the blackthorn skidding a foot or two away from him. "You insolent boy! I told you, didn't I?! I told you to get rid of that blasted Greengrass! CRUCIO!"
His aunt waved her wand back towards his mother whose body lurched forward and began to writhe once more, but her cries of pain now only receded to chokes and heavy breathing.
"Stop, please, stop!" Draco begged as he shook his head, holding on to his mother's shaking hand. "I'll get rid of her now! I promise. I swear on Abraxas Malfoy's grave, she'll be gone and out of my head. Just please stop hurting her!"
Bellatrix glared at him dangerously but seemed to have considered this, because with a flick of her wand; he felt his mother's body stiffen. Draco looked down at Narcissa to find that she'd stopped shaking uncontrollably, but she was still breathing out rasp breaths whilst sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her and carefully laid her head on his lap.
"Mother, it's okay. It's over now." Draco tried to reassure her, though he found anything he was trying to tell her extremely hard to believe. He ran his fingers through his mother's soft, blonde hair; his other arm wrapped around her protectively.
Finally, Draco turned his gaze towards Bellatrix, his eyes burning from the aftermath of his tearful crying. "You didn't have to do that. You didn't have to hurt her. You could have just hurt me."
"Well, you're not going to learn unless somebody else gets hurt for your transgressions, hm?" Bellatrix said venomously, pointing her wand at them briefly before stashing it away. "This is my final warning, Draco. The next time we come here for practice and I see that blasted little girl interrupting your memories; I'll pull her out of Hogwarts myself, gut her sweet little heart out, run my knife down her pretty face and kill her before she has you and your parents killed. Are we clear on this?"
Draco swallowed and a brief vision of his aunt hurting Astoria broke his heart just as much as it did having to watch his mother go through any sort of pain. He nodded this time as he looked away from his aunt, turning his attention back to his mother who had just about fallen asleep in his arms. At the sight of this, he was reminded of the nights when his mother held him close at night when he had nightmares. She still did that when he woke up one night many months ago from a Legilimens by the Dark Lord showing him his father being killed by the killing curse. Every night since then, she had protected him. And now, having experienced seeing her go through unbearable agony, he felt ashamed for not being able to do anything.
Didn't he understand from the very beginning why he even agreed to the Dark Lord's task in the first place? Other than the fact that he was right in front of him and would have been killed had he declined; it was the threat of Voldemort murdering his parents that made him say yes.
He would kill him and his parents if he didn't kill Albus Dumbledore.
Was that not enough to make him determined to succeed, no matter how unforgiveable the idea might be? And yet, how could he have let himself get distracted by the very thought of Astoria Greengrass? She was nothing but a silly little infatuation compared to him and his parents' lives. How could he have let any of this happen?
Bitter guilt filled his entire being as he stared placidly at his mother, everything in him physically hurt at the memory of seeing her be tortured. Would he be able to forgive himself if she suddenly dropped dead? He shook his head gratingly. He couldn't. He couldn't bloody bear to see that happen to his father as well. He loved them. He couldn't... he couldn't... he'd rather die.
"Crystal." Draco finally answered his aunt, though his voice was laced with venom and a new found purpose.
From now on, tomorrow and into the future – he wanted nothing to do with Astoria Greengrass.
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Draco spent the rest of November focusing on nothing but himself. Despite his constant focus on fixing the Vanishing Cabinet, he doubled his efforts in studying for his upcoming hands-on potions exam with Slughorn in the hopes that he'd be freed from any more tutoring. Not that he was having any problems with that right now, really.
He hadn't gone to a single tutoring session with Astoria since his promise to his aunt.
Avoiding Astoria was probably one of the hardest things to do – not because it was hard for him to do it, but because she kept on catching up to him in the hallways or in the common room. He hadn't said a single word to her since their time at the Black Lake, and when she began to involve Daphne in the course of bugging him for weeks; he decided to use the power of Blaise and Pansy.
Draco asked Blaise mostly, since Astoria was a lot friendlier with him than Pansy. He'd asked his friend to distract Astoria as much as he possibly could and so far, Blaise was doing a pretty bang up job with it despite himself. To his surprise, Blaise and Pansy didn't question his motives – only that they seemed eager to help him. It surprised him even more at their show of loyalty, and for the first time in his life, he truly felt wanted and cared for by people other than his family.
But he let those ideas drift just as well. Draco would enjoy what little time he had with Blaise and Pansy, but not so much to the point that such daring, friendly memories would interrupt his Occlumency lessons. He didn't need another reason to be cast with the Cruciatus curse by Bellatrix.
When the last week of November came, winter currently in full swing – it was now time to take his examinations in potions. As soon as he arrived at the dungeons into the potions classroom, he was a bit relieved to find a few students joining him in the examinations. Apparently, he wasn't the only one in trouble of failing this class – which was pleasant to know.
The second Professor Slughorn saw him; he began to jeer merrily. "Ah, Mr. Malfoy! So good of you to join us! Well, now that our last student is here – I believe it is time for us to begin our exams now, yes?"
Draco joined the other students, feeling wretched that he was the only Slytherin student from the N.E.W.T. group there. The two Ravenclaws eyed him curiously, but said nothing as he went to his table where his cauldron was.
"Now on your respective tables, you'll find a piece of parchment with a name of a potion that you are to brew. You are to be given an hour and a half to accomplish these potions." Professor Slughorn announced. "Your final grade will determine on whether or not you can continue taking N.E.W.T-level potions. Are we all clear on that? Yes? Alright, well, let the brewing commence!"
At this, Draco took the parchment in front of him. He could have sworn he wanted to jinx the professor when he read what he was asked to brew.
Amortentia.
By Salazar, Slughorn wasn't kidding when he said he'd have him brew this blasted potion. Draco rolled his eyes at this in frustration but proceeded to take the needed ingredients in the cupboard. There wasn't a lot to it; rose thorns, ashwinder eggs, peppermint, powdered moonstone and pearl dust. With what he had before him, he started brewing the potion – playing the instructions in his head by memory. It was similar to Felix Felicis's process, but with just several different ingredients.
After what felt like hours, even though it's only been just one – he finally started to smell fresh forest air, apples, vanilla and roses. Draco casually sneered at the last two scents before covering his nose with his robes, stirring the potion with his other hand. He didn't need another reminder of Astoria, no matter how potent his potion was forcing him to let her into his mind. It wasn't exactly a challenge anymore, since he was so used to cutting people off his life. Some things were just better that way, no matter how much it hurt him.
Other students began to notice the wafting, amorous color from his cauldron. They sniffed the air, and most of their faces shifted into happy, dubious looks – as if transfixed. Draco rolled his eyes at this. At least it proved that his bloody love potion was working.
After thirty minutes, he kept his potion at bay – stirring it occasionally until their time was up. Slughorn went through each of their cauldrons, passing a few students while others received their grave news. Draco braced himself when the professor finally settled in front of his cauldron.
"Ah, Mr. Malfoy," Professor Slughorn greeted as he took out a white feather from his coat. "What have you brewed for me today?"
"Amortentia." Draco replied lazily and watched as Slughorn dropped the white feather into his bubbling potion.
"And what are the components and effects of this potion?" The professor asked as he waved his hand towards his face, smelling the potion with ease.
Draco scoffed at the question, but answered nonetheless. "Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in existence, causing a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. Despite its power, Amortentia doesn't create actual love. Though, the person under the effect of the potion will only hold an obsession for the person who administered it. It has a different aroma for everyone who smells it, reminding each person of the things that they find most attractive, even if the person doesn't acknowledge or is unaware of their fondness for the object of their affection themselves."
"Straight out of the textbook, yes? Thank you for that, my boy." Professor Slughorn nodded appreciatively before dropping the white feather into the potion. The feather immediately turned the color of blood, but with a tinge of fleshy pink. "Outstanding! Just absolutely brilliant! You've done well. Passed!"
"So, Professor..." Draco tried to suppress orchestrating a cocky grin at this, but couldn't help it. "Does that mean that I no longer need to be tutored by Greengrass?"
"Ah, yes. That won't be necessary anymore. As promised, and I am a man of my word." The professor nodded as he waved his wand at the cauldron. Its contents disappeared in the blink of an eye, and he couldn't blame Slughorn from wanting to get rid of the thing no matter how properly brewed it was. He too didn't want to see the raging hormones of about a dozen teenagers act up in one day. "I have heard, though, that you've been avoiding your lessons with Ms. Greengrass these past few weeks. I hope you don't mind me asking why."
Of course I mind, you bald-headed idiot.
Draco cleared his throat. "Like I said the first time I asked, Professor. I hardly thought it was necessary anymore. And as proven today, I've been considered right this whole time. I'd appreciate it if you didn't shove another tutor at me now that you've seen what I'm capable of."
Slughorn looked at him skeptically. "Very well, then. Continue to exceed in my classes and you'll find no tutor being given to you. Although I must say, it would be a great deal to send your apologies to Miss Greengrass. I've been told you've hardly spoken to her, and she's a kind young lady. Surely your pride won't be so wounded as to atone for your actions."
A frown creased Draco's features. If only the bloody potions master knew the internal struggle he had for the past few weeks just thinking about that alone. At this, he scoffed indignantly and took his belongings with him to leave.
He stopped midway through the room before he let his last words linger.
"Professor, you seem to forget that I'm a Malfoy. And we Malfoys do not apologize for anything."