In the midst of everything, the yelling, the blaming, the swearing and the hurting, I do what my dad had done. In the heat of Mom and Paul’s fight, I walked out, just like that. Something I had never done before.
As fast as I could, I run to the park, bringing nothing but my anger. For years, I’ve been kept up all night listening to them quarrel. I’m beginning to think that maybe it is our fault, me and Nathaniel’s. Why Dad had left and why all this is happening right now. Perhaps it’s a bit too much for me to expect that Paul was fatherly enough to fill in that gap. I’m wrong to think he was the missing piece. Just like he said, we’re not his kids.
We’ve come this far. We moved here in hope of starting anew, with Paul finally becoming the breadwinner. But nothing’s changed. Mom still has to do everything.
Everything is so different from where we came from. Here, the sun shone brightly in between cirrus clouds. Back in Benton, we had stratus skies. At night, the twinkling stars were visible. Montruce smelled of the salty sea breeze. Benton was humid and polluted. This town, no matter how small it is, is a town where everyone knew and trusted one another. People are honest. It’s safe to go out at night. After a couple of months of residing here, I know that this is where we should be. We’re at the right place.
But sure, my family can go to all the right places in the world, but they’ll never stop fighting. Paul can’t see that this town has a lot of opportunities to offer. Sure, Montruce is small and quiet, but it’s certainly not a place for losers. If there’s one loser in this town, it’s him. All he’s been successful in doing since we got here is getting my mother pregnant. I guess I’m kind of mad at Mom too. How come after all the hurt she’s been through, she’s still putting up with this ass clown?
Okay, easy, I think to myself as I sit on the bench. Inhale. Exhale. Good vibes, good vibes.
“The world is quiet here,” a voice says behind me. I turn around. It’s Travis. The pale moon makes his sparkly sapphire eyes glisten even more.
He looked perfect as ever, but timing was imperfect. Why right now? Why when I’m in the middle of this? “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” I snap. Okay, now I’m really angry at myself for being so rude to him.
“Why’s that?” Travis asks, sliding in next to me on the bench. “Is Montruce not silent enough for you?” He doesn’t look cheeky or offended. He’s still got the same poker face.
“No, no,” I shake my head. “That’s not what I meant. This town is amazing. It’s just… my house isn’t so peaceful right now.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks. I don’t say anything. “Okay,” he finally says.
No. I wasn’t going to let my parents’ fight ruin my dream coming true of Travis Rathownd finally having a conversation with me. I force a weak smile. “So how’ve you been, Travis?”
“Great. Just great.” I can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.
Nevertheless, I’m not going to allow this conversation to become awkward. “How’s your head? Looks like you’ve been hit pretty badly in school a while ago.”
He lifts up some hair on his forehead to reveal a large bruise on his temple. “The ice pack was bandaged around my head with a tea towel all afternoon. Some random even asked if the towel covered any lobotomy stitches. At least I get to have an early dismissal. And it’s actually not that bad.”
“Getting knocked out in the middle of the hallway after Tyler the Tank demonstrates an indoor flyball isn’t that bad? What, are you like Superman now or something?”
This makes him laugh. “I believe that if I were Superman, I wouldn’t have this bruise,” he says. “But hey, I get the advantage of having bottomless Swiss Miss at the school clinic.”
“Oh my god, they do that?” I ask.
“Do what?”
“Give you free hot chocolate?”
“Yeah, with marshmallows.”
“Unlimited?” I ask.
He nods. “Unlimited.”
“Wow.” My new school is fancy. “Hey, can I ask you a question besides this question that I’m asking you right now?” I ask.
Travis chuckles. “You’re funny. Sure, go ahead.”
“Why are you talking to me?”
“What?” He frowns in confusion.
Okay, what I said had come out wrong. “No, no, no. I mean, you never actually talk to me in school or anywhere else. I’m pretty sure this is the first time you’ve ever said more than two words to me. And I’ve been told that you never really talk to people.”
“Well, has it occurred to you that maybe you’re not a person, and that’s why I’m talking to you?” Travis asks.
Now it’s my turn to say, “Um, what?”
“I was joking,” he explains with a laugh. “You’re slow.”
“Wow, thanks.”
Somehow, I was beginning to feel butterflies on my stomach. My cheeks are feeling hot. I didn’t want to look at him, otherwise I’d melt. Why does he have to be so darn cute?
“Do you want to know why I talk to you?” He asks.
“Yes,” I answer.
“You’re not like the other girls,” he says straightforwardly. “You don’t tiptoe around me.”
Aha. So he knows that he’s good-looking. I know it’s supposed to be a turn-off when hot guys aren’t oblivious to their attractiveness, but somehow, I appreciate his honesty. And he’s still hot and gorgeous and intriguing. And hot. It must be against the freaking law.
“You’re not the kind of girl who wants to run for homecoming queen,” he continues. “You’re not the kind of girl who dresses just like those chicks from FHM. You’re not the kind of girl who relies on other girls to believe she’s pretty.”
“How do you know I’m not that kind of girl? I only came here like what, a couple of months ago? And besides, you’ve never talked to me apart from now.”
“Well, I’ve been watching you,” he replies.
“You’ve been watching me? That’s not extremely creepy at all,” I say sarcastically.
He places his hand on my knee. This makes me look at him. “What are you doing?”
“I didn’t think it was possible to fall for someone you’ve only known for a couple of months, and to whom you’ve never said a single word,” he says. “But now I know that it can happen.”
Is this really happening? Travis Rathownd is telling me he likes me? No. Not now. My family’s a mess. My home’s a mess. I’m a mess.
“Travis,” I begin. “I really like you. But right now, everything’s just coming undone. I’m just not sure if now’s the right time for you to become part of it.”
“What if… what if I say that I want to become part of it?” he says. “What if I want to be there for you? And I want you to feel like you’re not alone? What if I want to be the one that you talk to late at night? What if I want to be the one who’ll never hurt you? Will you give me a chance?” Is the sky blue? Is water wet? Is Paul a selfish cow? Is my heart racing a thousand miles right now?
I smile and nod. “Yes.”
We both lean in close. Really, really close. Close to the point where our lips are less than an inch apart. I close my eyes, knowing what’s coming next. Suddenly I feel my hands on his shoulders. Then our lips meet. I’ve never felt something so amazingly electric.
My first kiss. Who knew that it would be Travis Rathownd, the handsome, mysterious, intriguing loner from school? And what do I do after pulling away? Do you hug him? Tell him something? Walk off? Or kiss him again until neither of you stop, so you end up kissing eternally? This is the awkward part I’ll have to figure out in less than a second.
He places his hands on my back as our lips continued to touch. This kiss is neither light nor greedy. It’s simply sweet.
As we both pull away, he smiles. I put my arms around him. “You’re my first kiss,” I tell him.
“You’re mine too,” Travis says. He runs his fingers down my hair and lightly kisses my forehead. Maybe I didn’t always have to go through things on my own.