KAYLE
My eyes widened in shock as my heart beats fastens.
I stepped backwards, giving us enough space.
"You can't..."
"I know. And I tried not to," his eyes are full of worry and pain.
I closed my eyed as my lips turned into a thin line.
When I looked at him, his expressions were so soft.
"Don't love me," I said firmly.
"But why Kayle?" he sounded urgent.
"No! You can't and you never can't," I said. "You lost your memory, Cal. You cannot love someone you've forgotten about."
"I don't see that as an excuse for love," he said, his eyes almost pleading.
I massaged my forehead in frustration. "You don't really understand, do you?"
"Make me understand."
I turned my back on him and walked towards the railings, facing the vast area before us.
"Hindi mo kayang mahalin ang isang taong nakalimutan mo na, literally."
Naramdaman kong lumapit siya sa akin.
"The mind forgets, but the heart never will and never can."
I shifted my gaze on him. "What do you mean?"
He looked at me.
"I don't know if I've already fallen for you even before fate twisted us up. I don't know if I was only stopping myself back then because you're my bestfriend. And I don't know if I'm confessing this now infront of you because this is the only chance I had, the only time I am free to say I'm falling for the girl in front of me, for my bestfriend," he said, every word made my heart beat even faster.
"I don't want you to fall for me. I'm staying because I wanted you to remember me, and I want my bestfriend back," I said, emphasizing every word I utter.
He remained silent.
I crossed my arms and turned to the view. "I told Crystal back then, we cannot stay on the same ground forever watching the person we're standing for slowly walking away. It's true. But it's a matter of choice," I said and locked my eyes on him. "The choice is up to us, whether the person is worth the sacrifice or not."
"Kayle. I'm sorry," he said.
I didn't mind him. "And you're worth the sacrifice, Cal. Our friendship is worth the sacrifice of staying while I watch you walking away from us, from everything, from me," I said, and a tear escaped from my eyes.
"Can you not be selfish? Didn't I do enough? What more can I give? Can you at least, in return, help me bring my bestfriend back instead of falling inlove with me?" I said, my eyes straight into his.
He sighed as he brushed his hair and bit his lower lip, his eyes full of frustration.
I never should've let him feel this.
"I'm sorry, Kayle," he said, his voice lower than usual.
"I don't want you to fall for me. Don't fall for me."
He stared at me for a moment like he's remembering every part of my face.
He closed his eyes and held his hair.
He then opened it and looked at me with a different expression, he looked more mature than ever as he walked towards me.
When we were inches apart, he tucked my hair and slowly said...
"Okay, if that's what you want. I won't fall for you."
His eyes burned into mine. I feel the air heating up between the cool breeze around us.
My stomach somersaults and my heart beats fast again.
I avoided his gaze and flashed an awkward smile. "Yep, better."
Suddenly the rooftop's door burst out open, Logan and Tristan just entered and I felt relieved as they looked like they didn't hear anything.
The typical jolly aura of Tristan showed off again. "Hey guys! Kanina pa kami naghihintay!"
Cal sighed.
"How long have you been there?" he asked, his brows met.
"Bakit? May ginawa kayo?" he said, with a teasing tone.
My eyes widened as we both shouted. "No!"
"Uuuy, defensive," he teased.
Logan raised his eyebrow on him. "Let's go," he said and turned around.
While walking on the hallways, I saw only few student are left on the field.
We really took a long time.
I sighed.
Logan is infront while Cal is beside him. Tristan and I are walking at their backs.
I stared at Cal's back as we walked. His shoulders are broader. He looks so manly, his hair looked so cool and pleasing as the sunset's gaze flicker on it.
"Kayle," Tristan called, almost whispering, trying not to reach Logan and Cal's earshot.
I raised an eyebrow and mouthed, "What?"
"Anong nangyari sa rooftop?" he said, his eyes curious.
I shook my head. "Wala."
"Ows?"
I rolled my eyes and hissed, "Whatever."
He laughed and quickly covered his mouth when Cal and Logan looked over us.
He motioned a peace sign as they continue to walk.
"Eh ba't parang may iba sa inyo ni Cal?" he asked, whispering.
I sighed and that's when I realized, this is not the typical us.
What just happened to us?
I suddenly felt a twinge in my heart. I've gotten us into a mess.
I bit my lower lip and hugged myself.
"Marami lang iniisip," I said, at buti na lang 'di na siya nagtanong pa ulit.
"Anyway, kakarating lang namin nun. No need to worry kung may personal man kayong pinag-usapan," he gave me a reassuring, genuine smile.
I nod. "Okay."
I sighed inside.
It's better that way.
It may be worse if they heard over us.
***
When we reached our house, Wade beeped his car and told us they're going straight ahead.
Cal nod.
Technically, Cielo went on Wade's car. Logan and Tristan with individual cars. And I was forced to go with Cal.
I need to get used to it. We always should stick with each other always anyway.
I watched the guys' car drove off and I walked out of the car.
Before staying out of Cal's earshot, I left him words I needed to.
"I wont trade our years of friendship for love," I said and closed the door.
***
It was eleven o'clock and still can't sleep.
I jumped out of the bed and headed the balcony.
I rested my arms on the railings as I stare up above.
The night is calm. The moon still looks beautiful as it will always be. There are only few stars tonight but still they paint beautifully on the vast sky above.
I sighed and closed my eyes as I felt the wind upon my cheeks.
It's been a weird, intense day.
My eyes shifted on Cal's room's balcony.
He wasn't there. But I had a little hope in me—even after what happened—that he will be there, staring at me.
But none.
Only the reflection of the moonlight on the balcony's full-glass door.
I sighed.
Why am I like this?
I shook the idea out of my head and returned inside. I locked the door leading to the latter place and slumped myself into bed.
I caught a sight of my black guitar over the corner so I beamed towards it.
I'll be continuing my current composition of a song.
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