Thirteenth Night; Malvolio's Revenge

Act 1 Scene 3

Enter Fabian
Fabian: The Lady will surely hang me for this. I drove her steward mad and could not entreat him back. Pray Jove prompt her to have mercy.
Enter Sir Andrew
How dost thou, knight?
Sir Andrew: I'm returning home. I've not reason to stay.
Fabian: Thy purpose?
Sir Andrew: Olivia married. I was beaten most soundly by her husband. I've not reason to stay.
Fabian: Best of fortune to you, Sir Andrew, and I prithee you wish me the same.
Sir Andrew: Wherefore, man?
Fabian: Our trick was discovered. The cockerel fled the coop. Olivia is not pleased.
Sir Andrew: Good fortune to you too, Sir. Olivia may prove gentle if the stars shine brightly. Farewell.
Exit
Enter Malvolio
Malvolio: Sir, you should have long ago returned to the house.
Fabian: Master Malvolio, how kind of you to give chase. Will you entreat to the house with me?
Malvolio: Not on your life, which I've no doubt it is.
Fabian: By your reason, wherefore dost thou pass this way?
Malvolio: I have here a letter for the Lady Olivia. Deliver't for me, for I'll not give council with her in person, the sight of her is too dark in me.
Fabian: There's grown a distrust of letters within me, one I'm sure thou canst share. What shall I tell the Lady?
Malvolio: 'Tis merely a messive of my resignation from her service.
Fabian: (reads) "M.O.A.I." This? Malvolio, what more apology dost thou require of me? I've said all I've right to say.
Malvolio: I desire not your repentance, but your payment. "Injuries justly weighed."
Fabian: This current illness ist not merely i' my heart. What hast thou done?
Malvolio: "A dish o' poison," as I recall a little bird murmuring from a boxtree. 'Twas laced in the parchment.
Fabian: Why, man?
Malvolio: Your Lady will not hang thee, now.
Exeunt