Flashback...
I woke up for the third time that night. An unsettling feeling coiled in my stomach, it arose every time I thought about my journey, Clemont, Bonnie or...Ash. Nothing seemed to stop the constant quivering in my veins and sleep didn't come easy. Not tonight. Not on my last night. Tomorrow I would officially leave everything behind. The journey would officially be over. I would fly to Hoenn. He would fly to Kanto.
I vigorously tossed in my bed again. We ended up staying in the Lumiose city Pokemon Center for the last night. We had stayed in so many over the past year that I just wanted to spend one more night. It wasn't fancy or glamorous but it felt like home.
The window of our room overlooked the battle field. A small porch was built right outside the sliding doors, very convenient I must say. Bonnie and I sat on the porch steps earlier that afternoon and watched Ash train for the last time. The last time...
Those words pained me to no end. It started the horrible feeling in my gut again. I sighed impatiently and opened my eyes. They landed on the full moon that was set high in the sky. It shone brightly, casting a shimmery haze upon a...figure.
I bolted upright. Someone was sitting on the porch steps. With a little bit of squinting I made it out to be Ash. Who els. My crush sat motionless in his pajamas, staring at the sky like it held the answers to all his questions. I looked over at his bed. The sheets had been thrown over multiple times. One pillow was on the floor and the other on the wrong end of the bed. Pikachu still slept soundly amongst the chaos of sheets. Looked like Ash had trouble sleeping too.
For a minuet I just watched him. I traced the spiked strands of his hair with my eyes. I accidentally caught myself looking at the way his vest really outlined his muscles. Damn.
I really needed to get a hold of myself.
After a minuet of contemplating, I built up the courage to go out and speak to him. I needed to know what was on his mind. Was he feeling the same way I was? Or was he thinking about his friends in Kanto?
The floor was cold beneath my feet and it tickled my toes. I crept as stealthily as I could to the sliding door, careful not to wake sleeping Clemont and Bonnie. With a strong jerk the glass door swiftly slid open.
Ash immediately shot up, his features alarmed. When he realized it was just me he relaxed. His shoulders dropped and his fists loosened. Then he slouched back down on the porch step, barely noticing me. Usually this would start a small ache but I was used to his self-centeredness by now. Plus, I was probably too shaken up to feel anything at that point.
Instead of letting it bother me, I sat down next to him. Ash neither turned to look at me nor blink. His face was fixed on the moon and his mind entranced with his thoughts. Looking at him then, he was unusually pale and seemed almost like a shell of a being. It worried me that he looked this way. I couldn't tell what he was thinking. I couldn't tell if he was hurt. And Ash normally showed almost all his emotions on his face as clear as day.
We sat in silence for a long while. We each basked in the others company. Neither seemed in the mood to share their problems. Both were traumatized with a silent war. Eventually I gave up trying to play the 'guess what Ash is thinking' game. With slight hesitation, I spoke.
"Why are you here?" At first he didn't flinch. After a while I thought he wasn't going to answer. Just as I was reaching my top level of impatience he finally turned to me.
"I could ask you the same question." Ash smirked. I felt a smile tug at my lips.
"Yeah but I asked first."
"I'm just thinking."
"I can see that."
More silence.
"Ash..., what are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking about our journey."
"Oh."
More silence.
"Serena..., what are you thinking?"
I laughed a little. It was just like Ash to lighten the mood without even trying.
"I'm thinking about...I'm thinking about you."
"What about me?"
"How I'm really gonna miss you when you're gone."
"I'll miss you too Serena." Ash smiled and scooted closer to me so we could have a real conversation. What he didn't realize was that yes, he may miss me for the next few weeks. He may miss my company and he may miss my cookies. But in the long run, he'll find a new girl to bake him Pokepuffs and give him company. I, on the other hand, will be hung up for months, pleading for one more chance to see his smile. "But you'll be in Hoenn. You'll be so caught up performing and becoming famous that you will barely have time to miss me."
He would be surprised how much time I could find to miss him.
"And you'll be in Kanto, at home. Starting everything from scratch again." I looked away from Ash. The moon seemed more intriguing at that point.
"Yeah." He said looking down at his fingers. "I'll be in Kanto..."
"Don't tell me you're having second thoughts?!"
"No! I'm not... I mean..., do you ever get the feeling that this journey is uncompleted?"
I twitched. What did he say? He thought the journey was... uncompleted.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, at the end of every adventure I've been on, there was always this sense of finality. Like I knew the adventure was over and I had to move on. But not this time. And that's why I can't sleep, because I don't feel the same way now. Its like I'm missing something major. Like I still have unfinished business here in Kalos."
"Unfinished business?"
"I don't know how to explain it. It's just a gut feeling."
"Well, most of you're gut feelings seem to be right in some way."
"Yeah, that's one of the scary parts of it. What if I get on that plane tomorrow and miss something life changing. What if I'm needed somewhere but I'm not there."
"You don't have to get on that plane tomorrow." I said. What was I even thinking? I knew there was no way Ash would miss his plane home. It's not like it would even make a difference if Ash stayed or left. My flight would leave before his anyway. Unless...
"What do you mean?" Ash questioned.
"Well, you could cancel your flight to Kanto and I could cancel my flight to Hoenn. We could stay here and just travel where ever we want to. Like a vacation. We don't have to go anywhere. And we can stay until you feel as if you have no more unfinished business." My fantasy came rolling out of my mouth so fast I didn't get a chance to bite my tongue. Oh, I was so stupid. It's not like Ash would ever say yes to such an idea. It was a crazy idea.
Ash turned his head back to the moon, his face twisted in thought. It looked almost as if he was considering it. How could he possibly be considering my crazy idea?
"That would be nice." Ash said eventually "I'm just not sure. You don't have to cancel your flight to Hoenn. I can stay here, you follow your dream."
"But Ash, I promised you that as long as you're here, I'll be here for you. Once you're done, I'll fly to Hoenn." I whispered. I'm not even sure why I was going along with this. Hadn't I already decided I was going to Hoenn? It had taken me so long to figure that out but now, just as Ash was even considered staying, it took me mere seconds to cancel it.
The thought made me realize I would do anything for Ash. And that thought scared me.
"The idea sounds so tempting. Like a vacation, right?" He asked.
"Like a vacation. We can do what ever we want." I smiled. Ash sighed, his eyes not leaving the moon.
"Serena, I'll think about it."
"That's okay. I have to think about it too." I couldn't believe he was actually considering my crazy idea. Maybe I wouldn't have to say goodbye tomorrow after all.
We sat in silence once more. This time it stretched on for a long time. We each stared up at the moon, pleading it to give us answers. Hesitantly, I laid my head on his shoulder. Ash went rigid for a second. I felt him shift, his eyes peering down at me. He didn't shove me off, he just shook his head, gathered his thoughts and went back to looking at the moon.
Nothing could make me move at that moment. It was totally perfect. For a second I thought about confessing my feelings for him but ended up chickening out. I was so pathetic. There were so many times I had wanted to tell him but couldn't. Maybe Miette was right, maybe I would take too long and then some day, a pretty girl would come and steal his heart. And I would be too late. This was the perfect moment to say it, but I couldn't.
"I still see what he sees you know." Ash said out of the blue.
"What do you mean?"
"I still see what Greninja sees sometimes. I'll be doing something and then all of a sudden my vision changes. I see trees and tall, dark vines. Sometimes I even see Squishy."
"He is still connected to you..." I whispered in awe. Well of course he is, their bond is so strong.
"Greninja is apart of me. He is my other half. Maybe that's another reason why I feel like I can't leave yet. I can't leave my other half behind. As long as we're connected, I can't leave him behind."
"I can't imagine what it would be like to leave one of my Pokemon behind. You already had to do it with Goodra and now Greninja. I couldn't do that with one of my Pokemon and I don't even have a bond phenomenon."
"It's so tempting to stay here, with you. But I miss home too. It would be nice to go back."
"I understand."
"I have to think about it Serena. I promise in the morning I will have made my decision. We can plan accordingly from there." Ash said.
I looked up at him from where my head was still rested on his shoulder. Our faces were so close. I could feel his warm breath tickle my nose. Time seemed to slow down. I'm not sure how long I stayed observing his sharp jawline as he continued to look at the moon. Suddenly he turned to me and we were even closer than before. His breath mingled with mine and his hazel eyes scanned me over. Then he shook his head and looked away again.
My heart dropped.
Not wanting to interrupt his thinking any longer, I got up and briskly walked back inside. I was so glad we had that conversation. He began to unravel, slowly striping away the problems pent up inside him. Knowing this made me feel warm inside.
It's funny how well I slept after that. Not once did I wake up. Just knowing that Ash was considering my crazy idea gave me the will I needed to let go and let my dreams take me.