Connie winced as she pulled the adhesive bandage off of the wound on her abdomen. The wound was healing, but it wasn't healing as quickly as Connie would've liked it to be. From what she could make of it, she had about another week or two until it was completely scabbed over, and she couldn't wait for that. The wound was a real inconvenience to her as far as being able to combat and move regularly went, and she wanted nothing more than for it to be gone.
As Connie grabbed a new bandage from the bag on her king-sized bed, the door to her bedroom opened, startling her slightly. Bucky walked into the room, only stopping when he saw Connie very painfully cover her bare abdomen with her arms.
"You could knock, y'know?" Connie breathed out as she glanced over at him.
"S-sorry," he replied nervously.
Bucky moved to head back out of the room, but stopped when he noticed the bruising that covered the near entirety of her abdomen. He frowned and began moving towards her, watching as she replaced her old bandage with a new one.
"I did this to you," Bucky said as his eyes scanned the deep bruising, his voice nearly a whisper.
Connie looked up at him as she finished replacing the bandage and she pulled her shirt down, prompting Bucky to look at her rather than the bruising on her stomach. "No, you didn't."
"I was there," Bucky recalled. "I know what happened."
"Hydra had control of your mind, Bucky," Connie sighed. "You were only trying to complete your mission, which, unfortunately, included trying to get rid of me. You're not responsible for anything that happened that day, okay? Don't beat yourself up over it, please."
Connie moved to get past him in order to finish getting dressed, but he grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back, his eyes falling onto the laceration on her face. The bruising around it was fading slightly, but the fact of it didn't make him feel any better. He had been transitioning between the soldier and himself so much during his final confrontation; he remembered telling himself not to hurt her or Steve, but the soldier was intent on completing his mission.
"It doesn't change anything." Bucky then met her eyes, "I still hurt you. . .and I hurt Steve. . .and for some reason, knowing that I did tears me apart more than anything I've ever done in my lifetime. I will never be able to express how sorry I am for hurting you, Connie. . .never."
Connie reached down to grab his hand and remove it from her arm, as she could not handle the feeling his touch provided her with. "You have absolutely nothing to be sorry about—not a thing. I knew confronting you with Steve while you were under Hydra's control would be a dangerous gamble for me to partake in; I knew that there was the possibility that you would be so gone and so intent on completing your mission that there was a possibility I wouldn't live to complete my own, but I was prepared to take that risk in order to get you back."
"But why would you risk yourself to save me, Connie?"
"The same reason I risked myself for you back in 1945," Connie assured him with a small smile. "Sooner or later, everything will start to make much more sense than it already does, I promise."
"'Everything' as in the extent of my relationship with you?" Bucky asked, his voice slightly shaky.
Connie let out a breath and nodded as she moved away from him. "If that's something you want to make sense, then yes. I have to go, though, okay? Steve's expecting me."
"Do me a favor?"
"What?"
Bucky let out a breath and sat down on her bed. "Please don't tell Steve about me yet."
"What? Why?" Connie asked with furrowed brows.
"I just. . ." Bucky trailed off, unsure of how to complete his answer. "Please, just don't tell him about me—not right now."
Connie only sighed and nodded in response. Despite how much she wished to tell Steve about Bucky, she knew that she would be better off respecting Bucky by not doing so. She could see that Bucky had a genuine reason behind withholding the information from Steve, despite the fact that he couldn't seem to put it into words.
"I won't tell him," Connie assured him. "If you could do me a favor and stay here in the hotel room, that'd be great. Please do not leave and do not answer the door for anyone, even the housekeeping. You should have everything you need right here. When I get back, Phil should be coming to pick us up."
"Got it," Bucky muttered.
"There's a pistol taped under the island in the kitchen and another one under the coffee table," Connie called out to him as she exited the bedroom. "Feel free to use if necessary."
"Duly noted," he called back.
Connie quickly left the hotel and headed out to see Steve, arriving at the hospital in less than fifteen minutes. She parked her car and made her way into the hospital, wondering exactly how she was supposed to keep her secret from him. She hated lying to Steve, regardless of what that lie was, but she knew that in order to respect Bucky's wishes, she had to. She just hoped that she wouldn't accidentally slipped him the information as she feared she would.
As Connie strolled through the hospital corridors, she was greeted by numerous hospital staff, including several who had been taking care of her just days ago. She greeted them back as nicely as possible and carried on towards Steve's room, arriving after another two minutes.
Steve sat up in his bed as Connie came into view, and she smiled, which he returned immediately. He was glad to see her after not having seen her in a few days, and she was especially glad to see him knowing that she wouldn't see for quite a while after she left the hospital today.
"Hey, Captain," Connie greeted happily as she strolled over to his bedside. "How are you feeling?"
Knowing that Bucky was waiting for Connie back at her hotel room and being with Steve made Connie feel much happier than she had been in so long. She had both of her boys back and she couldn't begin to fathom how amazing that felt. She was getting a sense of her old life back knowing that she had the two of them in her life, and she never wanted to let go of that feeling.
"I'm feeling better," Steve answered her and patted the empty spot beside him on his mattress.
Connie sat down beside him, her eyes falling onto the wounds on his face. They were healing up quite nicely, that much she was thankful for, though she couldn't help but think about the way Bucky would feel if he were to see him. He had already voiced his feelings verbally after only seeing the direct aftermath, but Connie knew that being in his hospital room and looking down at how beaten and weak he was would only make matters worse for him.
"Any word on when they're gonna let you out of this place?" Connie questioned him.
Steve shrugged and sat up further in his seat. "Shouldn't be too much longer. I could always pull a Connie and try to convince the hospital staff to discharge me because of my advanced physiology," he teased her.
Connie scoffed. "I'll have you know that I possess a genuine hatred for hospitals, and my physiology is also so much more advanced than yours."
"Is that so?"
"Yes, actually," Connie chuckled. "I think both of us know who the better super-soldier in this relationship is."
"It's me, and when I get out of this place I'll prove it to you," Steve told her.
Connie laughed. "Have our morning jogs not taught you anything, Steven? Anyway, I don't think I'll be here long enough for that to happen," she said, her face falling into a serious expression.
Steve noticed and frowned, wondering what her words could possibly mean. "What? What do you mean? Are you leaving?"
It was then that the mere thought of leaving Steve—her big brother—made her feel sick to her stomach. She had spent the past three years with him; the two had never really been apart from each other since Steve had been rescued from the ice, and with Connie not knowing when she was coming back or if she was coming back, the fact of it all was almost like a million bricks being weighed down onto her chest. She knew that he would understand in the long run, though. Connie wasn't the only person on the planet willing to give everything up for Bucky Barnes.
"I'm going away for awhile," Connie told Steve as she looked down at her hands.
"Where are you gonna go?"
Connie shrugged and looked back up at him. "Anywhere but here," she lied.
"Any particular reason?" Steve asked her with furrowed brows.
"I just need to get away from here," she told him. "I need a nice, long break from this hectic life."
"Please don't tell me this is about Bucky," Steve almost pleaded.
"Somewhat yes, and somewhat no."
"Are you going after him?"
Connie shook her head quickly. "I don't really think he wants to be found, and I actually kind of feel for him."
"I will admit that I am sad you're leaving, but I respect your choice to do it," Steve sighed. "You'll call me when you get wherever you're going, right?"
Connie smiled and nodded, leaning down to hug her best friend. "You'll be the first number I dial, Steve Rogers."
"I better be," the Captain joked as he squeezed her small form. "I'll miss you, kid."
"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a kid?" Connie giggled as she sat back up to look at him. "But I'll miss you, too."
"Stay safe, okay?"
"Always."