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Kenzie’s P.O.V
What the actual hell is wrong with me?
I sat in my room staring blankly at the pale blue wall in front of me a thousand thoughts colliding in what seemed like my tiny capacity of a brain.
Did I really tell Harry I wanted to be with him?
I honestly did not have a clue what I wanted, to be fair I acted on impulse from being utterly crushed by Harry’s lie. I knew that what he was saying to the interviewer was total shit but I couldn’t help but feel my heart seem to be drenched with anguish at the way he laughed at the thought of being with me with complete ease, the way he turned his face up in disgust at the idea of us ever becoming reality and he’s teasing, dry laugh filled with bitterness at the interviewer even bringing up the idea of Kenzie and Harry.
It really fucking hurt.
And I really don’t understand why.
“Face it Kenzie you’re in love with him.”
My eyes widened at the voice popping up in the back of my brain and I shook my head furiously, I cannot love Harry Styles.
I just can’t.
I can’t do that to Louis especially after everything he and I have been through.
“Louis a big boy he can get over it put yourself first for once Kenzie.”
“Shut up.” I hissed at my annoying subconscious that never seemed to piss the hell off.
The feelings I have towards Harry are purely physical. I’m just attracted to him that’s all. There is nothing emotional involved in our relationship it is only and simply attraction.
“That’s utter shit and you know it.”
I ground my teeth together and put my head in my hands letting out a frustrated sigh, what if it was the other way around?
What if Louis and I only had physical attraction and Harry and I were bound together by emotions?
It seemed to make more sense that way, Harry had devoted and latched himself to me in a furious attempt to bring me happiness, and he even went to the extent of driving me the entire eight hours to my home town to mend a broken relationship.
Louis was great as well don’t get me wrong he was the perfect shoulder to cry on but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to delve into a deep conversation about my past with him whereas with Harry it was only too easy.
“Fuck this.” I groaned pulling myself up off of my bed deciding to go and be social for once.
I walked out into the kitchen to find Zayn lazing about on the lounge watching re-runs of Friends whilst Niall was browsing through his phone on one of the beanbags, Liam must’ve gone to pick up Louis from the hospital because he was no where to be seen and neither was Harry.
I recalled Harry and I’s argument earlier and a frown seeped onto my face, that fight was completely unnecessary and I think both of us knew that. It wasn’t even really a fight it was just a collision of emotions and desperation for our differentiating wants and desires with no help from the pressing media waiting to pounce.
I felt my chest ache with sadness to know we weren’t on a stable path at the moment.
He was only trying to protect me, like always and I completely fucked him over with my roller coaster of emotions.
That boy does not deserve me one bit.
“Has anyone seen Harry?” I asked softly feeling the guilt take over, I needed to make things right.
“He’s in his room.” Niall said raising an eyebrow at me the look on his face read, “What the heck happened now?”
I just shook my head at him and dashed out of the room not really willing to explain my whole desperation for this screwed up love triangle to be over.
I walked up to Harry’s door my body starting to tremble softly as all the guilt, fear and sadness clashed together in the pit of my stomach sending a volt of nerves sparking through my body.
Please don’t be mad at me Harry.
I sucked in a deep breath before raising my hand to knock on the door, I heard a disgruntled muffle from inside before the door swung open and before me stood a very exhausted looking, shirtless Harry Styles.
Did I mention he was shirtless?
His unruly curls were in a tousled mess on the top of his head as his gorgeous emerald eyes burned through every vein in my body, his toned chest and arms flexed and tense as his perfect lips parted slightly in shock at the sight of me standing before him.
“Kenz.” He said softly his voice coming out in a soft rasp.
I swallowed nervously, momentarily distracted by his gorgeous appearance as I awkwardly shoved my hands in my pockets, “I guess I need to explain.” I said although it sounded more like a squeak, a pathetic squeak.
“Yeah.” He said faintly before clearing his throat and nodding his head and repeating in a much louder voice, “Yeah, come in.”
I walked behind him as he opened his door for me to enter into his familiar messy room complete with the comfortable double sized bed that seemed to take all my nightmares away. “Well-“ I began clapping my hands inelegantly.
“Do you love me?” He interrupted his voice filled with such passion and intensity it caused me to freeze. “Kenzie, do you love me?” He repeated when I remained silent unable to move or talk or feel anything other than the marathon my heart was competing in at this moment.
He placed his soft hands under my chin causing my skin to tingle and my breathing to become slightly abnormal. “Look at me.” He said softly his breath trailing down my neck as he lifted my chin up his gorgeous eyes blazing into mine. His eyes held nothing but love and hope.
Hope.
This stunning person who stood before me had mustered every ounce of courage and hope to ask me this question and here I was standing here like a fucking idiot not able to speak.
“I-“ I stammered foolishly feeling light-headed, queasy yet so amazing at the same time. “Harry-“
“Do you love me?” He repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time as he locked his muscular arms around my petite waist his forehead pressing against mine as his soft lips brushed slightly against my own sending volts of pleasurable electricity shocking through my veins.
I looked up at him in desperation; all this closeness and intimacy was screwing with my thoughts and my brain was overclouded with nothing but lust and the overwhelming desire to kiss the absolute shit out of the gorgeous human being before me.
“God, please do.” He sighed sinking into my embrace binding us closer together.
Oh crap, did I really say that out loud?
“Yes baby, you said it out loud.” He chuckled causing my cheeks to flush bright red.
“Baby”
The way the word rolled of his tongue so easily and sexily made me shudder and turn into a side of myself I never knew existed. “Well, no secrets right?” I said softly my hands running along his muscular shoulders.
“Kenzie…” He trailed off the confusion in his tone completely evident.
“Yes.” Was all I said.
“Yes?”
“Yes I love you Harry Styles, I really do.”
He looked at me in complete shock his gorgeous features frozen in a perfect stature of awe and astonishment, “More than Louis?” He murmured.
“At the moment, yes. You make me feel alive Harry.”
Those simple words was all it took for a grin to explode onto his perfect face as he pulled me into his arms winding them around my waist and spinning me around in circles before kissing me passionately his fingers locking in my hair bringing all my senses to life and out of the depressive numbness I was cursed with.
In that moment, I felt one hundred percent alive.
I felt so alive I didn’t seem to notice those jealous eyes peering through the crack in the slightly open door.
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