If I Lose Myself

By EMPG22HoPe

30.7K 1K 352

If there's anything worse than death, it's losing one's self. 19 years after the Second Wizarding War, we onl... More

Chapter One: Astoria
Chapter Two: Draco
Chapter Three: Astoria
Chapter Four: Draco
Chapter Six: Draco
Chapter Seven: Astoria
Chapter Eight: Draco
Chapter Nine: Astoria
Chapter Ten: Draco
Chapter Eleven: Astoria
Chapter Twelve: Draco
Chapter Thirteen: Astoria
Chapter Fourteen: Draco
Chapter Fifteen: Astoria
Chapter Sixteen: Draco
Chapter Seventeen: Astoria
Chapter Eighteen: Draco
Chapter Nineteen: Astoria
Chapter Twenty: Draco
Chapter Twenty-One: Astoria
Chapter Twenty-Two: Draco
Chapter Twenty-Three: Astoria
Chapter Twenty-Four: Astoria & Draco
Chapter Twenty-Five: Draco
Chapter Twenty-Six: Astoria
Chapter Twenty-Seven: Draco

Chapter Five: Astoria

1.4K 55 22
By EMPG22HoPe


Chapter Five: Astoria

October 1996

Astoria has been sick for nearly a week now. Though thankfully, she's been a lot better since then. She had hoped two weeks ago, particularly on the first day that she started tutoring Draco, would be the last time. But come Friday in that particular week, she was hit with the most unpleasant of colds to the point that Pepperup potions from Madam Pomfrey weren't enough. She refused to stay in the infirmary for the rest of the week, hating the smell of other sick people like her. It would have made her feel even worse than she already was. And when thankfully granted pardon to stay in her dormitories all week, that's when she started sneaking off into the library.

While her sister disapproved her getting out of bed while sick, she digressed that she couldn't bear to lie there and do nothing about her unnatural illness. She's read muggle books about people having terribly low immune systems, but none explained why her immune system was worst than anything ordinary. Her parents haven't got an idea as to why she's only shown symptoms of countless illness since she started attending Hogwarts. They'd have thought it had something to do with the school, but after coming back for the summer after her first year – she still spent days bedridden due to random colds and high fevers. They even had her checked in St. Mungo's, but not even the wizarding Healers knew why it was so.

And nothing frustrated her more than unanswered questions.

Of course, other than that, having to miss an entire week of classes was all the more frustrating. If she's lucky by tomorrow and could come back to classes, she'll be able to catch up on her subjects, though fruitlessly, including her tutoring with Draco. The very thought alone increased her stress that by the time she finished reading through a Healer's Guide to Uncommon Illnesses, she shoved the book back onto its shelf and left the library.

Astoria had wanted to at least explain to Draco why she'd been gone for a week now. But for the first three days of being bedridden, Daphne had kept her under wraps – and that meant hexing her room should she attempt to leave and checking on her after each class. Her sister brought her meals up and practically locked her away from the world outside her dormitory. Really, as much as she loved and appreciated her sister's concern, it irritated her how she kept babying her. She's fifteen, for Merlin's sake.

Although apart from that, she suspected that Daphne didn't want her to keep hanging around with Luna Lovegood. That issue was never addressed face to face, and her sister seemed to tolerate it just a bit, but Astoria knew Daphne didn't want her to be associated in any way with the Ravenclaw girl.

By the fourth day, she managed to unhex her room – after having read it in an advanced book somewhere while being quarantined in her room, thus sneaking off during Daphne's classes. At that time, she had completely forgotten about trying to find Draco, but also because she didn't want to have him telling her sister that she's sneaking off in the day. Astoria may be powerful when it comes to hexes, but her sister was ultimately better at it. She didn't need a new hex on her door every now and then.

Her thoughts as she weaved through the hallways were interrupted when she accidentally bumped into a tall figure. Astoria nearly fell off if it hadn't been for an invisible force that helped her back up. The witch looked up distractedly to find that she had actually run into the Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore. He was clad in purple robes and a slightly pointy hat of the same color.

"Ah, Ms. Greengrass. My apologies for running into you," The professor said apologetically.

Astoria shook her head immediately. "Oh no, I should be the one apologizing, sir. I wasn't looking."

"Not to worry, dear," Dumbledore smiled at her gently before quirking a brow. "Aren't you supposed to be in bed, Astoria? I hear you've been sick all week."

"Oh, well," She blushed at this as she looked down at her emerald flats embarrassingly. "It's just that I couldn't stand being stuck in my room for days now. My sister hexed the room so that I couldn't leave. I did a counter-curse five days ago and, well, I promise that the only place I've ever been at is the library."

Dumbledore chuckled softly at this. "No need to worry. I'm not going to expel you for sneaking off into the library during your supposed bedridden times. Although, I do advice to take great caution. I've heard of how sickly you get, Ms. Greengrass."

Astoria looked up when she heard this. "You have?"

The professor nodded before beckoning her to join him. "Oh, certainly. Would you care to join me for a walk, Ms. Greengrass? I find that walking while sick circulates the blood and increases your endorphins by the slightest. A bit of fresh air certainly wouldn't kill anyone."

She definitely found this request odd since she's never spoken to the Headmaster in a full conversation until now, but she considered her options. Professor Dumbledore would probably be the only person who would really know what's happening to her. Astoria mentally smacked herself for being so thick as she stepped in stride with the professor – why hadn't she thought of this before?

"I'm sure by now you're curious as to why you're so often sick?" Dumbledore asked as they bypassed a few first years fighting over a box of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. "Please take no offense when I say that I find your condition peculiar. It is quite strange, indeed. But I have had some theories when your parents owled me during your second year."

"They've spoken with you?" She asked in surprise. Her parents never said anything about talking to Albus Dumbledore himself about her condition.

"At least once a year since that one month illness of yours," Dumbledore nodded. "During my free time since then, I did a bit of digging on my end on top of all the other things."

Astoria blushed again. Now she felt even more embarrassed after hearing that the greatest wizard known to man was actually taking some of his time to find out about her illnesses. "Oh, professor. Well... it's not that important, really. I wouldn't, and I speak on behalf of my parents when I say I wouldn't want to keep you away from more important matters. I suppose I really am just a sickly witch. Surely I haven't been the only one."

"Exactly, Ms. Greengrass," Dumbledore smiled at her warmly, but there was a hint of sympathy to it. "You haven't been the only one."

This piqued her interest now, though she still felt embarrassed to be prioritized. Not a lot of people took what she's going through seriously, not even the Healers who passed it off that she was just really sickly. It felt oddly good, despite the circumstance of that person prioritizing her being Dumbledore himself.

"I don't trust the ability of your immune system, Ms. Greengrass." Dumbledore started as they went up a few flights of stairs to the second floor. "It's your family history is what concerns me. I have asked your parents this question every time we speak of this little conundrum: Have you got a Greengrass family tree, a chart of some sorts that I could perhaps look into?"

Astoria swallowed. She's never thought of that before. "Come to think of it, I haven't the slightest clue if we even have one to begin with. Our manor had several areas and floors destroyed during the first war, including the library. My uncle Atlas was to blame, unfortunately. He failed to accomplish a mission the Dark Lord had entrusted upon him and in return, he tarnished the manor. All mum and dad ever told me was that the Greengrass line was from dad and Uncle Atlas, then our grandparents; Cassiopeia and Hyperion. But they've passed a long time ago and I think only Daphne met them at the time."

"I see." Dumbledore nodded briefly. "Well, I've already checked your mother's family tree – the Shafiq's – and found no trace of anything odd."

"So, professor... does this mean that my illness has something to do with the Greengrass line?" Her eyes widened in delight at the sudden discovery.

"I have my suspicions, yes. But until then, I cannot prove otherwise unless I can find a few more distinct family members. Maybe even friends outside the family line that has known the older Greengrasses." Dumbledore said as he pushed his spectacles higher up his nose. "Astoria, your constant illness is nothing short of ordinary. But I intend to help you in any way that I can. You say your older sister has known your grandparents?"

"Yes, but she was probably just two years old before they've passed. Haven't got the faintest clue on what our grans would have said to her by then." Astoria shook her head, but her answer – though a dead end – hardly did anything to suppress her new-found purpose. At least she had something to start with. "I'll try and see what I can do to find out more about my family."

"As shall I." Dumbledore confirmed and they finally stopped in front of a gargoyle statue, knowing full well that this was probably the end of their conversation. "Can you do me the honor of a few favors, Ms. Greengrass?"

"Anything, professor," She said a tad bit too cheerfully, but she didn't mind. She had a lead. She had something after what seemed like years now.

"I would like you to deliver this message to Harry Potter, if you will." Dumbledore then conjured up a piece of parchment with his wand out of nowhere and handed it to her. "I think you'll find that he's about in the Great Hall."

"Of course." Astoria nodded as she stashed the parchment into one of her jeans' pockets. "Thank you. For everything, really, professor."

"Oh, don't thank me just yet, Ms. Greengrass," Dumbledore chuckled heartily. "We have a number of certainties to look into before we go into a zone of utmost gratefulness."

"It's a start, and I would still thank you for it." She smiled at him gratefully nonetheless.

"The second favor I wish to ask concerns of the person you've been tutoring quite recently." Dumbledore continued; and at the sound of tutoring did her face fall in the slightest.

"Draco Malfoy?" Astoria asked in a small voice, feeling the guilt eat her up by the second. She really should have told him why she'd been gone for so long. Though she suspected Daphne's already saved her the trouble by doing that herself – still, what would he think of her? She certainly didn't want him to think that she was irresponsible when she was quite far from that. "What about him?"

"I'd like for you to keep an eye on him." The professor said. "Befriend him, if you will."

"Befriend him?" She almost laughed at this idea but she suppressed herself. "With all due respect, headmaster; but... he's quite difficult to befriend these days. I barely speak to him and the only time I do is when we wordlessly meet up for the tutoring sessions. Although I admit they've been well off, but I hardly think I'm the perfect candidate for the matter."

"I had thought you might say that." Dumbledore shook his head in amusement, a smile gracing his lips as if he knew a secret that she didn't. "Just keep an eye on him, then. He's a very... well, complicated is far too worded. More like, he's in need of proper company. And I merely find that you'd be one great company to him as time would pass. You are, in my most humble opinion, one of the very rare people that have shown him a great kindness. I know what you're like, Ms. Greengrass. You see the best in people and I find it quite admirable. Surely you'll find something good out of Draco."

"Well, if it helps you sleep at night, professor. I'll do it, but it won't be short of easy." Astoria nodded before smiling back at him, blushing just slightly at how he had praised her. She had no idea what she was getting into, but she certainly owed Dumbledore in ways she couldn't possibly imagine. Just that one little favor certainly won't hurt her now, would it?

"Oh, it surely won't. But I don't doubt you'll do just fine, Ms. Greengrass. You are, as I would personally like to consider, one of the wisest witches of your age." Dumbledore chuckled before jutting his chin towards the hallway behind them just as the tower bell echoed throughout the castle. "Best you get into a bit of a run with that letter to Harry and be back to your dormitories in time. I believe your sister had just finished classes."

Her eyes widened at this and she turned around to find that students were already starting to mill about in the hallways, coming fresh out of class. Astoria thanked the headmaster again rather hastily before scampering as far away from the crowd of students as possible, each hurried step a curious, but victorious one.

What does Dumbledore see in her that would make him think she's proper company to none other than the arrogant Draco Malfoy himself? She paid the idea no mind at the moment. Right now, all she needed to focus on was getting the note to Harry and not get caught out of bed by her sister. Astoria definitely didn't want another difficult hex to counter by tomorrow.

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"Ay, bugger off, you lunatic!" Astoria howled at her sister as she tried to get past her.

"No, you're still sick, Tori!" Daphne yelled a little louder as she pushed her away from the wooden door right behind her. "I am not letting you out of this room, you hear me?"

"You're not mum, Daph!" She stomped her foot this time, regardless of how childish she might have looked.

It was already half past six in the evening. Nearly three hours after she had given the note Professor Dumbledore asked her to deliver to Harry, she woke up in her bed feeling exhilarated. The tinge of pale on her skin had come back to its normal, peach color and her nose wasn't as red as it was days ago. She was finally better, and the first thing she wanted in her venture of being well was to go down to dinner. But apparently when she told her sister about it, she was reluctant to believe her.

"I'm acting mother, and that's just as close!" Her sister shrieked as she pressed her back against the wooden door. "You can leave this dormitory tomorrow. Tonight, I just need you to rest just a bit more. We aren't quite sure because who knows? You might get sick again if you actually leave this room."

"You're being ridiculous. I'm perfectly fine!" Astoria groaned, already growing tired of the ludicrous back and forth between her and her sister. "I swear, Daphne Greengrass, if you don't let me out, I'm telling mum that you're dating Blaise Zabini."

At the mention of Blaise's name, Daphne's cheeks turned the color of ketchup before furiously stomping her foot in anger. "What in Merlin's pants are you talking about? I'm not dating Blaise Zabini and I'll be damned to hell if I do end up dating him."

"But mum and dad already suspect you're dating him, and they hardly believe a word that comes out of that mouth of yours whenever you deny it." She couldn't help but grin now, feeling the course of her argument overpowering her sister's. "It's my word against yours, Daph."

Daphne seemed to be considering this, and her expression went back and forth between being flustered and finally giving in to the black mail. When she finally looked like she made a decision, she looked up to her and cast a menacing smirk. "If you don't stay up here, I'll tell mum and dad you're dating Draco Malfoy."

"What kind of rubbish black mail is that?" Astoria couldn't help but laugh at this seemingly awful joke. "I wouldn't touch Draco Malfoy with a ten-foot pole, let alone date him. He hates me! And I don't particularly fancy him like I used to. Besides, mum and dad know that I don't even talk to him that much."

"But they know you're tutoring him. And that's as much talking as anyone can get." Daphne countered. "And you know how they don't want you to have any sort of relations with him, regardless of our family's loyalty to the Malfoys. He's a walking menace and if they so much as find out you're anywhere near him, they'll have your head for Briseis to eat."

"That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard." She continued to laugh at this as she sat on the foot of her bed to keep herself upright. Her sister's argument was futile, no matter how true they may seem. It was funny how she'd completely forgotten her parents' warning on not talking or even looking at Draco Malfoy.

Just then, a knock came from the door. Daphne turned around to open the door and looked just about ready to yell, but stopped when she saw that it was Blaise.

"I thought you two might be here." Blaise grinned impishly at them as he leaned against the door's frame. "Ay, still locking up Rapunzel in her tower now, I see."

"Blaise, can you please tell Daphne that her threat of telling my parents that I'm "dating" Draco Malfoy is the worst possible black mail in the history of all black mails." Astoria started as she crossed her arms on her chest.

Blaise threw his head back in laughter, and she saw that Daphne was blushing even more than she already did just a few minutes ago. Her sister smacked Blaise's chest fruitlessly before stepping away from the door, mimicking Astoria's actions.

"Not with a ten-foot pole, for both you and Draco." Blaise shook his head as he calmed down before turning to Daphne. "Daph, I admire your spirit, but that's got to be the thickest black mail I've ever heard."

"You're a complete ass, Zabini!" Daphne finally spoke, though her voice wavered. "Besides, I'm doing it for her own good. She can't be bothered to walk around at this time of night. She says she's feeling better, but I seriously doubt it."

Blaise looked her from head to toe before nodding. "Well, she does look better. No reindeer nose and not as pale as an inferi. Just let her off, luv. She's not a child anymore."

"Thank you!" Astoria exclaimed in relief as she sat up and walked towards the door.

Daphne put a hand out to halt her as she yelled, "No! Blaise, I cannot bloody believe you're taking her side!"

Astoria eyed Blaise knowingly, and a little understanding went between them. While she hadn't known Blaise as long as Daphne has, she's considered Blaise like an older, wiser brother – and someone who she greatly looked up to. Her sister went on and on with her tirade about precautions and how late it already was at night, and by the time that she finished her, no doubt, well-rehearsed speech – everything went into utter chaos.

The last thing she saw as she ran out of her room, still in her jammies, was Blaise shoving Daphne out of the way and further into the room. She didn't know what Blaise did or if he'd done any harm to her sister – though she doubted he'd do anything to hurt her. Astoria could still hear her sister screeching as she rushed the steps down towards the Slytherin common room, and by the time that she's reached the stone wall that had just opened with a few rumbling; her sister's onslaught seized.

But the moment she got out of the passage, she heard the sound of the stone wall a few feet behind her open. Astoria made the mistake of turning around as she saw Daphne running up to her, Blaise trailing just as quickly behind her.

"Tori, you get back here right now—"

"Run, little Greengrass!" Blaise's voice overpowered Daphne's, his baritone laugh resounding throughout the passage.

And with that warning alone, Astoria ran as fast as her nimble feet could take her. She didn't even know where she was going, only that she wanted to get as far away from her sister as possible. That meant running flights and flights of stairs upwards, accidentally bumping into a few students here and there. She even caught up to Luna but before she could say anything, her blonde friend had dodged her quicker than a Snitch would. This left her a little bit disoriented, but she climbed further up the stairs until she reached the seventh floor.

Surely her sister wouldn't catch up to her here. Nobody ever went as far as the seventh floor. Well, that's what she at least thought until she heard voices and the sound of a large door creaking shut down the corridor. At this, she instinctively hid herself behind one of the hog statues and tried to peek through the small, open crevices of it.

And as expected, there were three looming figures at the end of the hall; just near the stairs that would lead one up to the Astronomy Tower. She couldn't quite see who they were due to what little light was provided, but she recognized one of the voices the minute it raised just an octave higher.

"Why can't you just tell us what you've been up to in that room, Malfoy?" Crabbe's voice resounded throughout the quiet corridor. "Are you meeting with someone there?"

"I bet it's with Pansy, eh?" Goyle remarked with a chuckle. "You two meeting up in that room to shag?"

"Shut your filthy mouth, Goyle." Draco's voice was louder than his two companies. "Now get out of here before I hex your thick heads into next Tuesday. Go! Now!"

"Alright, alright!" Crabbe said irritably as he and Goyle walked further down the corridor.

Astoria had to press herself back against the wall in case the two boys saw her lurking. As soon as she heard their resounding footsteps going downwards, she released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She also hadn't realized that she did it so loudly that she jumped at the sound of Draco's voice yelling, "Who's there?!"

She swallowed hard this time, no doubt having already been caught in the act. The witch took a deep breath yet again before slowly leaving her spot next to the hog statue. Astoria looked up to see Draco in the small light that the open stairs to the Astronomy Tower provided. He had his wand up defensively and he was clad in all black; shirt, pants, everything. He looked a little out of it than she normally would see him. His skin had a tinge of gray and dark bags seemed to be forming under his eyes. His hair was in shambles and from his head; she could see a trickle of sweat running down its side.

Once she read the recognition in his eyes, Draco lowered his wand and stashed it into his coat's pocket as he asked, "What are you doing here, little Greengrass?"

"I could ask you the same question, but I don't need you to tell me to bugger off like you did to Crabbe and Goyle." Astoria answered a little bravely as she fully revealed herself and walked a few steps closer towards him. "I just about ran away from my sister. I doubt she'll come up here, but I don't doubt her better judgment. She'll flip this place upside down until she finds me."

"Who've you left her with?" He asked her distractedly.

"Blaise." She said plainly, crossing her arms on her chest instinctively as a cold breeze went past her.

"Ah," Draco chuckled just a bit before clearing his throat. "I'm sure she'll be well distracted, then. Are you sure you should be up here at night? It's pretty late."

"I'll take my chances staying up here for another hour. Or well, up in the Astronomy tower is better." Astoria shrugged as she began walking towards the stairs that lead upwards. "Please don't tell my sister I'm here. I've been trying to get away from her for over a week now."

He shook his head at her and she saw the look of amusement gracing his features. "You really think I'm going to let you off at this time of the night? You seem to forget that I'm a Prefect, and I take no pleasure in taking away points from my house."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at him playfully. "Our house, Malfoy. And by all means, join me if you can't reprimand me. It's quite a lovely night and by the looks of it, you look like someone who needs a bit of fresh air."

Draco arched a curious brow at her, his lips curling slightly. "By Salazar, you're ridiculously frustrating, Astoria."

Astoria felt the hair on her skin rise at the sound of her name coming from him. Usually she never quite took much into account the rarity of him saying her name. But this time, it sounded more genuine, almost playful in the sense. It sounded vulnerable, but also natural – and she wished every day that he would just regard her by that instead of the little Greengrass tease.

"The feeling's mutual, Draco." Her soft voice said in reply, winking at him for good measure before walking up the steps. A part of her was afraid to turn and see how he had reacted to her small act of bravery, but there was another part of her that was just dying to see how he'd taken it. To her sheer surprise, he took the latter and found that he was staring at her. And by Merlin, it was nearly impossible to decipher his emotions.

To ease the tension of the situation, she beamed at him. "Well? Are you coming or not?"

The witch no longer bothered to turn around and check for his reaction now as she climbed further up, and only when she was nearly at the top did she hear his footsteps following her. As soon as she reached the top; a harsh, cold breeze passed her. Mistakes have been made, she thought to herself as she walked further into the space.

The Astronomy Tower was probably one of her favorite places to hide if she needed a tad bit of escape from the cruelty of reality. The room was open-aired and circular in structure. There were telescopes and constellation maps lining the sides where they were mostly used for their Astronomy classes. The view from the tower was her favorite because it overlooked the whole of Hogwarts – every foreground and open grass space could be seen from where she stood. For the first time in weeks, she felt absolutely free.

Her reverie was disrupted by the sound of Draco's footsteps finally reaching the tower. Astoria turned around to find that he, too, seemed to be marveling the open-air and view that the high-rise provided. He walked up to her and stood just a few inches beside her, his eyes trailing towards the Black Lake where it sloshed gently against the castle walls.

"Where have you been all week?" Draco asked her quietly; as if afraid they'd be overheard.

Astoria leaned against the balcony's railings, her eyes surveying the castle grounds before replying, "Has Daphne not told you yet?"

"She only told me you got sick again, and that was Monday. I haven't spoken to her since." He replied plainly as he leaned against the railings, scratching his left forearm absentmindedly.

"Aw, did you miss me?" She asked with a slight smirk on her lips. "I can't imagine you would. I thought for sure you'd be glad to be rid of me. You never did like being tutored by a fourth year, even if it is sort of helping you in a way."

"Don't flatter yourself, little Greengrass." Draco scoffed before allowing a smirk to grace his lips. "While I don't particularly enjoy being tutored by someone two years younger than me, I have to admit that it's been surprisingly helpful the first week."

Astoria beamed at him upon hearing this, but also looked equally surprised. "I got sick Friday night actually, and it went on till' last week. I was bedridden in my room the whole lot of it, with Daphne throwing one hex after another at my door in case I got any ideas of escaping. She does like to quarantine me when I'm sick. I did a counter curse four days later and sneaked off to the library whenever she wasn't around to check on me. It wasn't easy."

"Merlin, aren't you just the little princess?" He laughed at her, his grey eyes though somber, twinkled with genuine amusement. "Well, I certainly hope you're feeling a tad bit better now. You do look like it, considering how you don't have the reindeer nose and haven't got the color of a corpse."

"I am." She nodded at him before turning way; hardly bearing the fact that he was staring intently at her now. Merlin's pants, she cursed in her mind as she bit her bottom lip. To be fair, she wasn't exactly used to getting stared at. Usually, she'd get the occasional glance and that was it. Next to Daphne, she was nothing – simply a shadow of her own sister. But at the way Draco was staring at her now, he didn't seem to see her in that way.

There was a pregnant silence between them as they both watched the scenery before them. The night grew colder as the clouds parted to reveal a full moon, the sound of werewolves coming from the Forbidden Forest resounding throughout the grounds. It was peaceful and quiet, and she wished it could simply be this way all the time.

"How's your mom?" Astoria asked all of a sudden as she trailed her fingers against the wrought iron railings. "I mean, how is she holding up with... you know..."

She heard Draco sigh in reply, and she looked up to him at this. A crossed look graced his features but then it immediately fell into a simpering, almost vulnerable look – like he didn't know it was even possible to look that way.

"She's... She's a mess." Draco offered, treading his words carefully while not revealing too. "Is that how you women react? Like you've lost the bloody world and all?"

Astoria pursed her lips briefly, considering his question. "I mean, I would. I'd be a sure darn mess if I found out my husband was being imprisoned in Azkaban. It would break my heart. I probably wouldn't be able to function for days."

It seemed the most reasonable answer. One day, he had feared his mother had gone mute from the grief—as though his father had just died instead of being locked up behind bars. The only thing that seems to shake his mother awake, literally from her reveries and her sleep, was to constantly check on Draco; just to see if he was still there.

He nodded at this placidly before looking her in the eyes. "They care about each other. My parents, that is. More so my mother than my father, at least. They're almost never one without the other, I guess. They just seem so... whole when they're together."

"That's love, Draco. The oldest, most powerful magic there is, as remarkably cheesy as it sounds." She said softly as another cold air breezed by, causing her to shiver a little more than needed. Perhaps she really shouldn't have left the dormitories in her jammies, though it was either being quarantined in a stuffy room or this – and honestly, she'd most prefer the latter; thin jammies and all.

"I don't think I'll ever have one like that." Draco admitted mournfully as he looked down at his left forearm. Astoria stared at him. "Yeah, I'm most certain I'll never have that. It seems futures away, apart from the fact that it's the last thing I need right now."

"But one of these days you'll have it. Everyone deserves something like that, regardless of who they are and what they've become." Astoria told him gently as she mindlessly took a hold of his right arm. "You may be a right arrogant man and a real pain, but whoever says that you don't deserve something as innocent and kind as love will hear it from me."

She saw his mouth twitch a bit as he looked up to meet her gaze this time.

"You really should be turning in right now." He said a little loudly, breaking their gaze as he started to remove his black coat. She pulled her hand away from him as if she'd just been burned all of a sudden. "It's late and we'll be damned by Filch if he finds out we're still here."

Astoria nodded wordlessly as she turned to look away from him as well. What the bloody heck just happened? Of all the things she had expected this night to turn out; it definitely did not involve an out-of-the-blue deep conversation with Draco. She could practically hear her mother screaming at her to stay as far away from him as possible. But by Salazar, she felt like a moth drawn to a flame.

Suddenly, she felt a heavy cloth land on her shoulders and nearly jumped in surprise if it hadn't been for Draco's hands steadying her as he fitted his coat around her. The warmth that the coat provided felt remarkable; the slightest distinction of a fruity scent wafted around. It smelled quite surprisingly like green apples.

"You don't have to." Astoria told him softly as she locked eyes with him, trying to pull off the comforting embrace of the coat. "You'll get cold too."

Draco chuckled lowly as he pulled the coat a little tighter around her shoulders. "Don't be ridiculous, little Greengrass. You're in the thinnest jammies in existent, and I'd be a bloody idiot if you start getting sick again. I'm failing my potions class because of my lack of tutoring, as much as it pains me to admit it."

She bit her bottom lip to suppress her laughter, but a small giggle escaped her as he lead her towards the stairs. "I promise I'll be as well as a newborn Phoenix tomorrow. You won't be failing your potions class again."

"Good, cause Slughorn said we're doing hands-on soon." Draco said lowly before she felt his breath against her ear. "And personally, I think it's about damn time we did that."

A cold, though frightfully exciting shiver ran down her spine at how close he was to her. Whatever Draco assumed was "hands-on" certainly had nothing to do with actually making potions. But she ignored his insinuation shyly as they went further down the stairs, hoping he wouldn't bring it up again.

Merlin help her for what she might have done if he did.

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