Chapter One: Nothing Left
Edward
A constant nudge to my shoulder woke me out of my sedated state of mind, “Hey Edward, dude, you might want to wake up before Mrs. Cope catches you passed out in her class again. You get caught this time man and they won’t let you come back.” Mike whispered before Mrs. Cope came back in.
Drool hung in a long strand from my mouth to my desk and landed in a small puddle. I lifted my head just enough to look in Mike’s direction to my left to nod I got it. “Hey Edward, you better hope your mutt of a friend Jake doesn’t bring his bike today…rain.” She muttered under her breath, with a finger pointed to the window as Mrs. Cope walked in and it was just bad timing as everything in my life seemed to be when I said, “Damn…”
“Excuse me Mr. Masen…?” Mrs. Cope’s voice stated with pure hatred towards the school addict.
Paying attention to anything in my life wasn’t the easiest thing for me to do and at this very moment, that was plain to see when I grunted at her offensive tone and let my head fall back onto my desk. My forehead landed right in the middle of my own drool. I suppose it could have been worse if it had been my own vomit. Not that that hasn’t happened before. I pulled my head back up completely ignoring that the teacher was still looking in my direction when I clearly heard Mike make the sound, “Eww…that’s sick man…” if he thought that was sick, it was seriously going to put a wrench in that low I.Q. brain of his when I reached over to his desk and grabbed the ugliest scarf known to man and wiped my forehead clean.
I chuckled aloud when Mike about threw up right in front of me. I tried to be nice and hand it back,
“Uh, no man, you keep it. Remind me to never leave any kind of clothing of mine around you.”
“Mr. Masen, are you trying to become a nuisance in my class today? If so, you can leave now. I don’t have time to deal with a kid…like you…”
I took that upon my good graces to get up and walk out, but it wasn’t going to be that easy and I knew that. Not with Mrs. Cope. She had her way of snarling at me when she felt it was necessary and sometimes she was a softy towards me and today, well, I don’t think that she could honestly decide. As usual I had to hear the same line from her and she absolutely knew that it triggered me. Between us, it was a love/hate relationship.
“Mr. Masen, I’m sure your mother wouldn’t approve of your drug induced activities if she were here…” Standing in front of me as I tried to walk out and say that, didn’t help her case in the slightest as I stood towering her form. My hatred filtering through in one heartbeat…My teeth seethed a deep menacing sound as I inhaled. Mrs. Cope’s limbs frantically shook, almost violently as I was sure my eyes burned with hostility.
“The lack of miscommunication between us about the woman who gave birth to me is clearly lacking. You knew her well, correct…?”
Her eyes fell to her feet as she whispered, attempting to thwart the answer. Embarrassment covered her cheek bones. No one that knew her back then wanted to admit to knowing her. I just wanted her to admit it, right to my face. I began to lose my patience. I was positive that I hadn’t blinked once while I waited for her response. I could hear the other students rustling behind me. My muscles constricted, the burn intensified the longer I stood there and finally I had had enough. I closed the distance slightly and said,
“Say it…”
“S-a-y it…”
“Yes…” She whimpered in defeat.
“Then tell me Mrs. Cope, who is more at fault here. My addicted way or the woman who gave birth to me only to leave me inside a gas station as she stared right into the camera and walked out of my life at the ripe age of two? Care to give your answer? I’m guessing about right now, she’s completely unaware of my existence, so spare me the mother speech because you and I both know that I don’t have one.”
Small town people know small town gossip and my mother was number one on their list even after all of these years. For years just a simple walk uptown condemned me to their glares and covered mouths whispering, “That’s Liza’s boy. It’s a shame. She should’ve never had a kid and she knows it…”
I wasted away for years trying to figure out what I did so wrong that she didn’t love me anymore, but as I grew, my hatred for her grew as well and I finally reached a significant point of no return. I stormed out of the classroom only to have Mrs. Cope follow behind,
“Edward, please stop…”
I paused believing that these were going to be the words that I anticipated I would hear. I was on my last leg in this school and they couldn’t wait to find a reason to do so,
“Edward…I…understand how you feel, but…”
I turned on my heels, heading in her direction, “Explain to me how you could possibly understand?”
Her shoulders tensed as she began wringing her hands together to keep mildly calm, “You’re right, I couldn’t possibly understand how you feel, but you have to realize that the majority of this town helped take care of you when she left and many of us worry about you. Yes, it may be true that some of us are past the point of trying to help you and you haven’t given us any leeway to help us believe that you will change. We’re at our ends Edward. You won’t let anyone in to help you…”
“I didn’t ask for help Mrs. Cope. I don’t need and I don’t want it. It’s best if all of you leave me alone. Tell me now if this is your way of telling me I am officially kicked out of this school?” I knew my eyes were dancing on the possibility; a half crocked smile began to slowly stretch.
“No Edward, you can go, but I will check to see if you made it to your next class. Don’t give them the satisfaction, please. I would like to see you graduate with your peers.”
I was passed this conversation. My thoughts were already out the doors and off of school property with a smoke slowly burning while I inhaled deeply. I looked down at her and part of me didn’t want to be this way with her because in all honesty, she was the only teacher that gave a damn. Playing the mother card just wasn’t the smartest thing for her to do and she knew it. I smiled my smooth crooked smile as I said,
“I’ll see what I can do…” her eyes dropped with heaviness as I walked backwards still eyeing her,
“Edward, please…”
“No worries Mrs. Cope, you know me, I can’t help but mess with you. Going out for a quick smoke to calm down and I will make it back to my next class on time.”
“Edward, just a cancer stick, right…Nothing else.”
“Give me more credit than that, would’ya?”
“I would love to, but unfortunately you always manage to prove me wrong.”
“Maybe I wanna be a nice guy for a change…”
“If the heavens are listening maybe they’ll keep you that way…”
“See ya, Mrs. Cope…” I was still walking backwards as she opened the classroom door to walk back in. Right before I turned completely, my body collided with another and instantly my temper flew,
“You wanna watch where the hell…” I lost all the air I had in me like someone shoved a vacuum in my throat and sucked it all out. She was…stunning. The first time today my drool was from passing out on my desk because I drank too much vodka before class, but this time, it was the sight of thee most uplifting perfection that I had ever witnessed with my own eyes. My heart pounded and for the first time in the history of my existence, it didn’t hurt to breathe. Clarity pulled the clouds from my mind, the stormy seas that tried their best to throw me right up against a wall of water and drown me turned calm. I was immediately uncomfortable in my own skin. I had never felt this…this…clean inside and out. Drugs and alcohol didn’t have anything on my new addiction to this girl that was an unknown. I knew I wasted my time even contemplating that I had a chance with her. Sure the pretty ones was said to fall for the bad boy image, but I was way beyond that generic term. I was literally ‘The bad boy’.
She smiled up at me with those eyes that were partly amber and partly deep brown. It was a strange mix, but I welcomed the poison that calmed my center as I looked into them. I wanted to speak, but something stopped me. The feeling I was having is what did me in. I abolished all my senses from feeling any kind of emotion years ago and I was doing a great job of it until…now. No…I can’t allow anyone in…All emotion left me in an instant. I began to walk away without a word when she spoke and I swear her soft seductive voice made my body rigid with relentless pain, the kind every guy begs to have. I stopped where I stood with my eyes closed trying to will it away, but she spoke again,
“You should try to make a better impression next time. This time I’ll forgive you, but now you have to make it up to me.”
Did I ever want to make it up to her, but I knew better. She didn’t know it yet, but she would. No way was I gonna let her get caught up in this mess I call myself. Besides, she was out of my league as it was. When she heard what the entire school would say about me, she would be too scared to even look my direction come the end of the day. Again, I walked away or tried before I was hit by a brick wall of a guy.
“I suggest you treat my sister with some respect.”
Oh hell…I had no plans on fighting a guy that I was sure was named The Hulk. I sighed heavily and let my head fall forward exasperated, “Look man, I wasn’t trying to disrespect anyone. I just don’t talk much.”
The Hulk crossed his arms with his brows furrowed together and said, “I’ll ask you once to introduce yourself like a man. Bells is waiting patiently…”
Bells…I have a name…I have the golden ticket. Anyone want to validate it? I couldn’t believe it but just by hearing her name, a smile creased my face and it hurt badly. I couldn’t remember when I smiled last. The only problem with my smile is that it was accidently directed to The Hulk.
“Hey dirt bag, I don’t play on that side of the fence…”
“Oh sorry, I wasn’t trying to insinuate…”
“Emmy, leave him be. You’re going to scare the first person that I’ve met here…”
And there she went speaking in tongues that flipped every light on inside of me. Wait…Did I just hear her right? Emmy…? I might have to consider that I had lost a few brain cells in my drug induced states in the past for what I was so stupidly about to say,
I cocked an eyebrow towards The Hulk and said, “Are you sure you don’t play on the other side of the fence, Emmy?” before I even came close to finishing that, I jumped back a few steps in case I had to dart off into a full run. Emmy heaved in a breath and his amber eyes tinged with black as his temper rose. Not a smart idea on my part to play with fire. A few more steps back wouldn’t hurt…
The goddess of all goddesses stood between us quickly, her hand on his chest as she looked back at me with daggers piercing my soul, I swear,
“That was uncalled for. A word to the wise; pushing EMMETT like that will only get you killed. I’m sorry Emmett for saying that here. I didn’t mean it. Try to calm yourself before someone gets hurt…” she was directing that last part to my apparent incoherent brain that should’ve have known better to say it in the first place. I caused enough trouble with the apparent new kids on the block, Ah I had to laugh at that. It was cheesy, yes, but still funny. I didn’t want them to hate the place already before meeting the good kids here. It was just their bad luck they ran into me first was all. I lowered my head slightly as I looked at…Emmett and said,
“Sorry man, I shouldn’t have said that. Don’t mind me. You’ll get used to ignoring me soon enough anyways. And Bells…”Wow did that sound so so good rolling off of my lips.
“Okay so neither of us should have stated our nicknames for each other…My name isn’t Bells, its Bella…Sorry for the confusion…”
“Okay…Bella…” that was even more amazing... “Sorry I was such a…Uh, It’s nice to meet you Bella, I’m…Edward…”
“Finally I get a name…Nice to meet you too Edward. That name suits you, you know. It has a nice ring to it…”
I wasn’t sure what to say, but I didn’t have the chance because The Hulk or Emmett interrupted and I was actually happy he did.
“Bells, we’re already late for two classes, we need to go. Besides, I think we wasted enough time with this puke…”
“Sorry Edward, you made a bad impression on him way too fast, it’s going to take forever for you to get on his good side now, but give him time, he’ll come around. We do need to go though... So maybe I’ll see you around…?”
Her smile and voice and eyes oh hell, everything about her put me in a spell that I never wanted to find the spell that would unravel it. As I thought again though, it wasn’t a good idea so I said the truth even though it cut deep already,
“Look, hanging around me will only guarantee trouble so maybe it’s best that we don’t…do this…”
"Yeah, I like his plan.” her brother agreed.
“I…see…” How I was supposed to understand what that meant exactly, I have no idea. The look in her eyes told me she didn’t like it. Well that made two of us…
“Well, we should get going Emmy…I mean Emmett…”
Bella and Emmett walked passed me without another word spoken and I was relieved and depressed all at the same time. It was best though. She would only get hurt in the end. I walked the rest of the way out of the school and down the road a ways to smoke. My time became severely limited now that I ran into those two. So I had to hurry to make it to the next class. I stood there against a wet tree and couldn’t get her image out of my head.
A/N: Okay so what's the verdict everyone? So everyone knows, I just wrote this out and haven't edited a single thing so please take it as it is for now. I really need to know whether I should keep it or throw it. J