dan
The silence is deafening, covering Dan's head like a plastic bag and pulling all the oxygen out of the air he's breathing.
He looks at the boy in front of him and nervously awaits a response, but the boy is wide eyed, his gaze focused not upon Dan but upon the empty space above his head. His expression is unreadable apart from the utter shock written on his features.
"Dan, y-you, your mood," Phil stammers out, looking at the bare space above his head, "or your lack of. Is this good? Why has this happened? I-"
"I-I don't know Phil, b-but I'm happy t-the line is g-gone," Dan replies, smiling softly at Phil and watching as he smiles back.
Phil leans forward and gently presses his lips to Dan's own briefly, before resting their foreheads together. Dan can feel the beat of his heart pick up pace as Phil stares into his eyes at such a close proximity. Phil's fingertips brush slightly against his cheek, causing his skin to heat up under his touch and he feels his breath getting slowly pulled out of his lungs.
"As long as you're happy, I'm happy Dan. I don't care what is above your head, because I can always tell what you're thinking anyway," Phil whispers to him, his hand still resting on his cheek, "and I love you for you, and if that means I have to love every particle of moodless air above your head than I would not hesitate to do just that."
"I-it might t-take a while for y-you to love e-every particle o-of air," Dan says with a laugh, his cheeks tinted a rosy pink from Phil's words and warm affection.
"I would spend all the time in the world giving you my love Dan," Phil declares, wrapping his arms around Dan and pulling him into a tight hug.
Dan smiles to himself, just simply enjoying being inside the arms of a person who loves every inch of him, because that makes the hug somehow feel warmer, safer, more comfortable but even harder to pull away from.
"It's going to be strange, that line was always how I spotted you in a large crowd of busy moods," Phil says, stepping back and giving Dan a cute, lopsided smile, "lucky you're tall so I can spot you that way."
"I-I know," Dan replies, "I-I'm t-taller than you."
"Mmm, but you also have terrible posture so I'm slightly still above you," Phil smirks, straightening his back out a little more so his blue eyes sit an inch above Dan's own.
Dan feels his face flush slightly. It's true, his posture is truly terrible with his shoulders slumped forward and head hanging low - a result from Dan constantly attempting to make himself less visible, to bend and shape himself into a person which others are less likely to focus on. It didn't work, obviously, but old habits die hard so Dan still navigates through crowds in the most unnoticeable way possible.
"Y-you keep dreaming," Dan says, rising up to his own full height and grinning down at Phil, who huffs in annoyance and folds his arms over his chest.
"Giant," Phil mutters.
"Excuse y-you," Dan says, looking at his boyfriend (but Phil hasn't even confirmed this so he isn't completely sure), "I'm j-just the slightly t-taller giant out o-of us both."
"Aw it's okay Dan," Phil teases, patting the other boy gently on his head, flattening his vigorously straightened and hair sprayed fringe, "you're an incredibly cute giant."
Dan narrows his eyes playfully, hitting Phil's hand away from his hair before he completely destroys his thirty minutes of clueless hairstyling from earlier that morning and lets out a large exhale, shaking his head slightly to himself.
"Y-you're actually an i-idiot Phil."
"I know, but you love me anyway," Phil says, grinning widely at Dan.
"That I-I d-do."
***
As the day presses on, it does become increasingly obvious that not every person is taking the empty space above Dan's head with the same adorable fondness of Phil, however it's not a surprise to Dan.
Alfie seems to be particularly unimpressed and also slightly scared of how Dan's line of defeat is now gone. It takes him a moment of staring at the boy before he realises what is missing from above him, and then his eyes narrow and something unpleasant and ugly flashes behind his eyes.
"What's this Howell? Completely emotionless now? If your brother were here, even he'd be ashamed of you now," Alfie jeers, his tone sharp and cold like the jagged, piercing rocks that are often at the bottom of a cliff.
The words about his brother sink deeply into Dan, as he feels the sharp edges of Alfie's words impale themselves into his still healing heart, reopening old wounds and restoring the previous damage. He had filled himself with love but now Alfie is trying to rip that out and fill him with hate and loath. Dan glances above Alfie's head to see his mood is a dark figure; cruel and aggressive.
"Sh-shut up A-A-Alfie," Dan stammers weakly as he feels his eyes begin to fill with what must be bitter tears.
Dan dares to peek at Alfie, whose somewhat demonic smile seems to be growing as Dan feels himself beginning to shrink. Alfie takes a step towards Dan, standing over and looking down onto him. Dan frantically looks around the hallway, desperately searching and hoping for a saviour to walk by but he has no such luck. Class has begun and since Dan's stupid locker got stuck when he tried to open it, Alfie has managed to corner him in the empty corridors.
In a moment of 'I'm gonna be fucking brave for once' Dan looks sideways at nothing and forms a plan inside his head quickly.
"H-hey!" Dan yells, making it seem as if there is someone there.
In the brief second that Alfie glances sideways in alarm, Dan seizes the opportunity to run in the opposite direction towards his next class, which is just around the corner. Alfie realises he's been tricked a moment later and, hence, proceeds to power after Dan. Dan mentally curses his lack of physical exercise and coordination as when he rounds the corner, his worn shoe slips on the polished floor and he crashes to the ground, the fall tugging all of the air out of his lungs.
Hands grab the back of Dan's shirt and roughly haul him to his feet. Suddenly he's not face to face with the stained floor, but with Alfie's fuming face instead. Out of these two options, Dan would pick the floor every single time.
"W-why?" Dan whimpers, cowering beneath Alfie, "w-why do y-you have t-to make m-me miserable?"
"Because you deserve it, you're a freak Howell, you'll never belong," Alfie snarls in his face, his breath humid and unpleasant on Dan's face, "so why don't you just take a hint from the world? You were never meant to be here in the first place."
Dan squeezes his eyes shut at this point. He wants Alfie to leave, he never wants to hear an ugly word ever again, he never wants to feel this pain again. He thought he'd ridded himself of all his baggage, however each word from Alfie loads more onto him than there was previously. Dan feels the darkness begin to wrap its greedy hands around his bleeding, vulnerable heart again and he just wants to disappear.
He wants it out, he wants this all to end.
He feels a kick to his side.
He sinks to the ground.
A punch, a kick, another punch.
A voice, not Alfie's, but that of an angel's, his angel.
He hears yelling, then footsteps leaving.
He feels someone lean over him, but his eyes won't open.
He feels a hand reach out, gentle fingers brush his tear stained cheek.
He feels a kiss being placed on his forehead.
He feels Phil pour love into him.
And he feels the darkness inside retreat slightly.
*************
AN/ hello sorry it's been so long pls don't shoot me!!! I've been BUSY but summer holidays are coming up so wooo!
please leave a vote if you enjoyed and spam the comments as you usually do anyway!
also please read my new teen fic on my second account: ifiwascool-
also I'm hella excited for my semi-formal (prom, etc.) tomorrow cause IM GONNA LOOK SOMEWHAT DECENT YES
anyway thanks for being patient with me! your reads mean the world. (and thanks for 25k followers)
^-^ xx