songs for the chapter;
white tiger by our last night
cool by troye sivan (again)
part of me by neck deep
chapter twenty three; cool kids.
Ava woke up due to the fact that she was still in skinny jeans. She wiped her eyes groggily, her hands limp since she was so tired, and as she waited for her eyes to focus again, she kept her stare at a Good Charlotte poster that was taped up against the door.
Wait, Ava realized, slowly stopping her movements, I don't have a Good Charlotte poster. At least not by my door.
She shot up vehemently, a sudden surge of worry and panic washing over her as irrational thoughts seeped into her brain like a tidal wave. Still being in her weird, trance-like sleepy state where her mind felt like it was high off of its balls, she couldn't form a single coherent thought and just slowly let her stress take over her until she figured out where she was. Now, normally, she could detect her surroundings quickly, like her eyes had photographically memorized each and every speck of dust and detail in the room. But now, she struggled to even remember her name. In the midst of her highly evident confusion, she somehow managed to disregard the boy who was shaking her gently by the shoulder.
"Aves," she heard and she turned her head blindly in the dark room, knocking her forehead against something hard before she let out a hiss of slight pain, hands flying up immediately to massage her bruising skin. "Ow! Ava, I think you broke my jaw. How thick is your skull?"
Letting out a gasp, she furrowed her eyebrows. The relief settled in and was quickly joined by post-nap irritation. She could barely see anything other than the moonlight as it streamed through the window, so she took a guess on where the voice was coming from and stared straight ahead into darkness. "Luke? Your chin is really sharp, okay? You need to get that checked, my forehead is bruising as we speak. My head hurts, do you have-"
Then in the middle of her sentence, she was interrupted. Not by words, but by Luke's callused fingers grabbing her cheeks and turning her face in a different direction until she faced him and he could take her seriously as she scolded him. "Wrong way, princess. I'm over here."
Blushing brightly and thankful for the darkness covering it up, she put her hands up in the air and aimlessly frisked them around until she felt something. "Is this your face? Wait, yeah I think this is your nose. It's pointy and has that cute slope thing. Oh my God, I'm too tired, I'm doing that word vomit thing again. Also, how in the hell did I end up in your bed? I'm filing a complaint."
"Becca, Calum, and Ashton drove us home after you," Luke threw a playful glare at the tan girl who simply chuckled at him, "Fell asleep as I generously gave you a piggy back ride."
"Oh okay! And first of all, I was really tired so I had every right to fall asleep, and second, I'm a gift from God, you should be honored to have such an amazing person—with incredible makeup and personality—like me on your back, Sir," She gloated in response, leaving her head head alone as the pain from Luke's jaw attack went away.
Giggling ("Oh my God, Luke. Did you just giggle?") at the girl that he found so adorable, Luke wished to see something other than her shadow and leaned over her, feeling the breath hitch in her throat, and turned on the lamp. A faint and sunshine yellow glow illuminated the room and Ava's tired features could finally be seen and he sat silent for a moment while she adjusted to the bright change, just admiring her. He didn't know why, but he felt the need to take in every part of her, like he was never going to see it again, because he hadn't seen it.
It had only been weeks, but in Luke's world, it felt like a strange, timeless place where each day would just drag on into the next, nothing really affecting him besides the things that weren't there. He had managed to keep his job by actually showing up, but changing to Green House Duty from being previous cashier because the green house was not only beautiful, but in the back of the building where no one would talk to him except for Jerry. And since the day he last saw Delilah, he hadn't seen much of her, rather than spotting her across the street or at the coffee shop, but even those happenstances were occasional, and with each day that passed in the mental health break he took, he found it less painful to see someone from his past.
This only made him feel better and more committed to spending time with Ava and getting ready to actually admit his feelings for her. If he could, anyways. He enjoyed being let back into her life without too much struggle because it meant that they could be best friends again. But another part of him, a bigger part, found it sad that she had accepted his earlier apologies so easily when they had left the party and walked around, talking things out. He didn't want her to be pushed over—which she really wasn't in a way; if there was someone with the mental strength of titanium in the relationship they had, it was definitely Ava, but he felt like she deserved better anyways.
From what Ava told him about how her life had gotten uber-problematic in the past month, he suspected that she had only forgiven him so quickly because she was slowly eliminating her issues one by one and trying to solve them in a manner she could handle without completely breaking down. Luke had admiration for that and learned that the way people deal with things says a lot about them. He agreed that she definitely had a lot on her plate, with her family and dealing with regular daily crises, so the fact that she was handling everything so professionally was impressive and admirable. Then again, maybe she was just acting like an adult.
"Take a picture," Ava said smugly, a smirk on her lips that didn't suit her kind face, "It lasts longer." Then she laughed to herself, complimenting her humour in whispers, thinking that he couldn't hear her.
Luke takes back the part he said where she was acting like an adult.
"Wow, just three hours of making up and you're already treating me like your rag doll. Next thing I know, you're gonna be throwing me away like your cigarettes," Luke huffed in response, laying back down as he stared up at her, and he hadn't noticed that much but his hand had unconsciously crept its way closer to Ava's and was on the verge of grabbing it. Not surprisingly, he didn't have to. She felt his warm fingertips on hers and laced their fingers together, holding his hand absentmindedly.
"I don't smoke anymore," she brought up quietly, a small smile on her face. She was happy that she was giving up such a bad habit of hers, even when it sometimes felt like Hell.
"What? Really?" Luke responded, a humongous grin on his face. He never liked that she smoked, even though it was her body, her choice, but he knew that it must've been a hard task for her to give up smoking, especially in time of such distress where she'd usually find smoking as her remedy. He would say that he was happy for her and proud—but that'd be an understatement. "And you failed to mention that to me in the hour and a half we spent talking about our lives so far?"
"I did mention it! But was like, four hours ago I guess. And to be fair I didn't go into full detail because I was kinda distracted by..." she paused and glanced at his outfit and gestured to it, "Well that."
Luke raised an eyebrow before looking down at what he was wearing and he let out a laugh. He was still in his Halloween costume. He had perfected the art of sleeping in nearly every situation and in every article of clothing so a leather jacket and skinny jeans were practically pajamas to him. He blushed vibrantly. "Shut up."
Ava guffawed and since she finally grew tired of staring down at him and craning her neck, she joined him in laying down, wrapping the arm of the hand she held around her, keeping her fingers intertwined with his. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Make me."
Luke let his eyes avert to her for the umpteenth time and he found her eyes staring back. He could see that she had an expectant expression with the hint of a smile, waiting for him to respond. He brushed back a strand of hair that lay messily on her cheek and kissed her forehead, mumbling against it. "I have a few ideas of making you shut up but you might moa—"
"Luke!" Ava practically screeched, pushing him off her, holding back her fit of giggles as Luke started laughing loudly, grabbing her by her hips and pulling her closer to him. "You're absolutely vile, you know that?"
He shrugged and played coy, "So I've heard. I'm also really cool. But I'm only cool for you, darling." He winked at her, or at least tried to wink; he ended up looking like something was in his eye.
"Wow, cool kid," Ava replied, stretching herself out as she laid her head against his chest again, resting there, "Princess and darling in one night. Any more pet names you'd want to add to that list?"
"I've got a plethora of pet names, baby girl. You'll be swept off your feet!" Luke then let himself wrap his arms around her so they were now holding on to each other, and Ava was okay with it, snuggling closer towards him. Eventually their laughter drifted off and faded and they remained quiet, but not in an awkward manner, more so in a way that they felt that they were in that part of friendship where they could just be there with each other and not have to constantly talk, though they did have to work on communication skills.
Luke was beyond glad that he could hold her like this again, and it made his stomach do flips and erupt like crazy, but he'd never admit to that. Not only would it be super embarrassing if Ava were to reject him and feel awkward—it would also give her endless teasing opportunities and there was no way that he was going to voluntarily give her that ammo that would shoot him.
"I missed you," Luke whispered, after a while of thinking what to say without sounding like the main character from a romantic film from the eighties, "Like, a lot."
Shifting, Ava turned to face Luke and tried not to grow nervous at the close proximity between their face and the fact that his eyes were probably getting more aqua-blue by the second. She reached her hand up and ran it through Luke's already messy hair, tousling it before she answered. "I bet I missed you more."
"I doubt that, but I don't want us to be that couple that is grossly cute. With the 'you hang up, no you hang up,' weirdness, so I will simply agree with you and state that we missed each other equally as much," he stated in a matter of factly manner, feeling her gaze on him as he waited for a reply.
When he didn't get one, he furrowed his eyebrows and glanced at her. He found a big blush on her face joined with a look on his face that he couldn't quite place and he grew scared that he had said something wrong. He had said something wrong? He too grew quiet trying to figure out what happened, but didn't have to think long as Ava opened her mouth.
"Couple?" she asked softly, fiddling with her fingers instead of looking up at him, which was quite harder than it sounds considering how close they were. Her heart beat so fast and loud that she feared Luke would hear it.
"What?"
"Couple," she repeated calmly, face growing hotter by the second as she bit her lip, "You said, 'I don't want us to be that couple that is grossly cute.'"
Luke's brain exploded, or caught on fire. Or both. It wasn't that big of a slip but right now, his mind resembled that one episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob's mind is full of many versions of him just trying to find files and also put out the fire, but eventually giving up and throwing files into the fire and crying. That's what his head was like in this very moment. He tried to come up with what to say, but couldn't.
"Luke, I'm just messing with you," she said, which was partly a lie but he couldn't know that. "You're an even bigger mess than me, why do I hang out with you?"
Covering up his freaking out he shrugged and smiled, "Because you love me."
Ava paused for a moment and contemplated that thought, as though she was racking her brain for something. Then, she sighed and booped his nose, "Can't argue with that logic."
"In that case, I love you too," Luke grinned giving her a big hug before letting go.
"Why do you love me?" Ava wondered aloud, but she really wasn't expecting an answer. Her tone was joking, but deep down she kind of wanted to know what he loved about her.
"Well," Luke stopped to think. "Everything. Like seriously everything about you. You're smart, headstrong and independent. You don't let people get to you that much, and you don't like toxic relationships so you give really good advice that doesn't support being co-dependent. You're really strong mentally; you have so many things to deal with and I know that your anxiety gets harder to deal with than usual sometimes, and I know that you can always save yourself because you're capable of that, but if you ever need some help I'm here. I like your music taste because it's like mine, and that means I can finally have someone go to concerts with. I like when you do that thing when you reach up—since you're really short compared to me—wrap your arms around my neck and hug or kiss me. I don't know, I love everything."
Ava had never felt more special than in that moment. She didn't know what to do so she just laid still as Luke grew nervous for revealing that much. Luke didn't know if he did the right thing and it began to make him feel nauseous. The butterflies started to evolve into pterodactyls and swarm his insides, gnawing up his nerves.
Ava opened and closed her mouth, trying to figure out what to say. She couldn't even begin to describe what she liked about Luke without leaving something out, because there were just so many things that she liked about him.
"I...I love you too; everything about you is great. You make me happy and you're one of the best friends I have ever had—but don't tell Becca I said that, she'd kill me—and you're more amazing than you think. Like I know you think you have to go through everything alone, but you don't. It's not good to shut people out and I hope you realize that I will always try to understand. You go through a lot and you still haven't told me everything, but I will accept you. You're such a sweet person, Luke, and your jokes are ridiculously terrible that they're funny and I really love your laugh—did you know that? God, your laugh is amazing, it's so cute and I dunno, it makes me wanna laugh. And I like how when I first met you, you were nice and I told you stuff about me straight away and you were okay with it. And you help me out with small stuff, and take me places and deal with my mood swings and anxiety. You lend me your clothes and you, well, there are no words to describe how incredible you are. I really love you, Luke. I don't think you understand how much I love you."
"Stop," Luke said, wiping one of his eyes, "You're making me cry. I'm so emotionally unstable right now, please."
"So, I probably shouldn't kiss you on the cheek?"
"Suddenly, I'm okay."
Ava laughed and leaned over, kissing him lightly on the cheek before moving back, laying in his arms again as she sighed and closed her eyes slowly, until the amount of sleepiness caught up to her. "You're my person," she mumbled.
Luke smiled and kissed her forehead. "I always will be."
•••
WHATS UP BITCHES I HAVE BEEN LATE ON UPDATES BUT LETS PRETEND THAT THIS WASNT LATE AND THAT HALLOWEEN WASNT WEEKS AGO.
THANKSGIVING IS COMING UP AND I HAVE IDEAS BUT THEN AGAIN I COULD ALWAYS WAIT UNTIL CHRISTMAS.
MY INSPIRATION IS BACK, LUKE AND AVA ARE OKAY AGAIN, THE WORLD IS IN MOTION.
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS BACK?
QUESTIONS BITCHES
—did you miss these two?
—are you glad that this happened?
—do you think that these two are ever going to make some moves or stay friends until they're eighty?
—how do you feel about calum, michael, ashton, and becca joining together and trying to get luke and ava to be friends again? do you think that was okay for them to do?
—who poured their heart out more? luke or ava? why?
—what's one chapter title that you want to see? i need ideas.
—what are you looking forward to in this book now that this chapter is up?
—do you think luke will confront delilah or ava will confront her family first?
—since we are on chapter 23, what's your favorite part of this book from the beginning chapters or the chapters before this?
—what are your further predications?
AND THATS ALL!! THANKS FOR 4.2K READS!! THATS AWESOME ILY GUYS.
this is also dedicated to maoriprince because i love liz and her book senseless has fucked me up & she's adorable.