18. IOA
Joshen watched in wonder as an enormous blue whale sped toward Arneth's boat. He'd never seen one move so fast. From the other ship, shouts turned to cries of panic as the enormous whale increased its speed. A massive crunch sounded. The stern of the ship crumpled as though made of spun sugar.
In stunned silence, Joshen watched as the Gallant Green's bow lifted out of the water, revealing scattered barnacles. Sailors scrambled to cut the ropes that held the boats in place. A few crashed to the water, some tipped over. Within a minute, the Gallant Green heaved a great sigh and disappeared underwater, dragging some of her crew with her.
Those who remained hauled themselves into the boats or tried to flip the swamped ones.
"Whales don't attack boats," one sailor said with fear.
"That one did," another sailor replied.
Joshen struggled to control his panic. Senna had done this, he was sure of it. Taking off at a run, he pounded below decks where Parknel bent over an injured sailor. "Is Senna here?"
Startled, Parknel looked up. "She was supposed to help with the injured. Good thing I remembered which was the itnot and which was the tabber."
Joshen wasn't listening; he was already halfway up the stairs. He shoved open the cabin door. The room was empty. "Bruke!"
The dog came from behind. He laid a piece of familiar white cloth at Joshen's feet.
As Joshen grasped the cloth, cold dread shot through him. "Senna." His mind was lost in the enormity of his fear. Something tugged at his clothes. He looked down at Bruke pulling him toward the door. Mechanically, Joshen's legs moved after Senna's dog. At the bow, Bruke looked into the water with a whine.
Joshen halted in front of Senna's abandoned sling and clothes. Bending down, he picked up her necklace. It glinted, catching the light. Unwillingly, his gaze stretched over the ocean. "What has she done?" Though he knew she wouldn't be there, he couldn't help but peer over the side of the ship. "She changed to a seal and brought the whale back, didn't she?" How long had she been gone? That potion of hers only lasted a short time and the whale had come long ago. "Man a boat!" Joshen screamed as he ran toward the crafts. "Bring arms!"
His hands bloody, Parknel appeared from below decks and shot him a questioning look. "Joshen?"
Joshen tugged the ropes. "Senna's in the water somewhere!"
Sailors sprinted to his side. Joshen jumped in the boat as others began to lower them. "Bruke! Come!" Joshen shouted.
The enormous dog jumped over the rail as the boat slammed into the water. The men loosened the ropes and hauled out the oars. Bruke pointed southwest and barked. Joshen grabbed his oar. "Pull!"
***
It was amazing how fast and far Senna had swum as a seal. Her inadequate arms flailed and tugged at the water, but for all her efforts, she wasn't much closer to the ship and her muscles were stiff and slow to respond. Shivering uncontrollably, she stopped swimming long enough to pour the remnants of the oil over her head. For a brief moment, she felt better.
She gazed forlornly at the Sea Witch. After all she had been through, it wasn't Espen who would defeat her but her own folly. "I'm sorry, Joshen. I failed you." She looked past her treading feet and searched the depths of the water—her grave. "Mother," she whispered. "Forgive me, Mother."
***
Bruke stayed at the front of the boat, sniffing the air. Whenever the animal shifted, the sailors righted their course. Joshen wasn't used to the heat or the strength of the sun anymore. Sweat rolled from the sides of his face. His shirt clung to him. He squinted into the brightness, willing himself to see something.
Bruke barked.
Shielding his eyes, Joshen leaned forward. He thought he saw something white floating in the distance. He hauled at his oar with renewed desperation. "Pull!" he growled to the others.
He kept glancing over his shoulder as the figure came closer. It was Senna. She was face down and still. Reaching over, he and Parknel gripped her under the arms and heaved her aboard. She lay still on the floor, her face as white as the remnants of her shift. "Senna!" Joshen screamed. The sailors moved aside as he maneuvered to her side. He pressed his ear to her chest.
Perfectly still and so cold to the touch.
Roughly, Parknel lifted her so her stomach rested on the edge of the boat. He thumped her hard on the back. No response.
Joshen's hands covered his mouth. She couldn't be dead. He wouldn't allow her to be dead. He rolled her back to the floor, determined to shake it out of her. As she fell back, water came free. A weak cough. Joshen grasped her shoulder and turned her to her side. She coughed harder. More water. She wheezed a shaky breath. Her golden eyes peered up at him.
"Senna?"
She moaned. "I'm so ... cold."
Not bothering with the buttons, Joshen ripped off his shirt and draped it over her shoulders before scooping her into his arms. At first, she simply lay there, but then she started shivering and Joshen knew she'd be alright. He rubbed her arm to bring back some of the warmth. She cried out and he remembered her injury.
"Don't you ever do anything like that again," he growled.
"Don't worry," she whispered. "I lost the potion."
The sorrow in her voice startled him. "I can't say I'm sorry."
She moaned. "It took someone years to create that potion and I spilled it."
What could he say? She'd been shot, chased by a shark and nearly drowned. If she had not lost it, he would have dumped it out himself.
***
Senna didn't complain as Joshen carried her toward his cabin. Parknel started calling out orders. "Sharpshooters on all sides. Sailors, man the sails and get us out of here. You, take over the wheel for me until Lery or I relieve you. And speaking of Lery, where is he?"
Joshen eased her onto the bed. "Bruke." He patted the bed next to Senna. The dog obliged and Joshen covered them both with a blanket and sat down beside her. He vigorously rubbed her hand between his. "Are you warm yet?"
Senna's whole body felt as though it were made of lead. She felt too weak to even lift her head off the pillow. She managed a frail smile. "I'm not sure I ever will be."
"Why Senna? Why did you do it?"
Senna heard the hurt in his voice and didn't understand. "I couldn't bear just sitting back while others risked their lives—died—to protect me. I might have risked my life, but no more than any other man on this ship!"
Joshen rubbed his temples between his fingers and thumb. "You still don't understand. You still don't think you're worth it." He seemed to be concentrating on keeping his breathing even. "You can't keep taking risks like this! If you die, it's over! Can't you see that?"
Senna swallowed and looked away. Didn't Joshen understand that if he died, it would all be over for her? She couldn't allow that, at any cost. She lifted tear-rimmed eyes. "And when she defeats me, what then? Will you go back to your horses?"
Joshen slowly stood. "For over a year, I waited for you and now you question my loyalty?"
Senna shut her eyes. Tears traced her temples before disappearing into her damp hair. "Not your loyalty."
"What then?" he said in exasperation.
"I can't, I can't ... lose you. And I'm going to. Just like I lost my mother, father and sister. Everyone I ever care about is taken from me. Everyone."
She looked outside, reveling in the heat pouring in from the window.
"I didn't know you had a sister," Joshen fumbled.
Senna's jaw tightened. She remembered the vague drawing of a beautiful girl with brown curls in the arms of her father. "She died before I was born."
Joshen strode to the window and looked at the sunshine. Without turning, he said, "I can promise you this—I'll never willingly leave you, Senna."
"None of them willingly leave," she said. "But they leave all the same."
He turned back to her. "You have to stop worrying about all of this and focus on what you have to do."
Her voice barely broke a whisper, "What do I have to do, Joshen?"
He kneeled beside her bed and took her hand in his own. "You have to stop her."
A knock at the door sounded. Joshen didn't let go of her hand. "Enter."
Parknel came in. He was soaked in blood from his fingertips to his knees. In his hands, he had her pots, all of the plants stripped of their leaves. "We need more."
"She can't, Captain," Joshen said.
She pushed herself up. "I can."
"Senna, you almost died."
She looked away. "Actually, I think I did die. But I'm not dead yet."
Deftly plucking the seeds from the bare plants, she put them back in the soil and sang.
With a nod of gratitude, Parknel took the pots and turned to go.
"Captain," Joshen called. "Did you find Lery?"
Parknel stopped. He said over his shoulder, "He's dead."
Senna gasped and a sob caught in her throat. "How many ... besides Lery?"
Parknel's shoulders sagged. "Eight."
He shut the door behind him.
Open-mouthed, Senna tried to gasp for air, but she couldn't. Her lungs froze, refusing to draw breath. The pain was so raw and devastating, she was certain it would kill her.
Crawling under the blankets, Joshen hung onto her as if she'd die if he let go. "Breathe, Senna. Breathe."
Why was he comforting her? Why didn't he hate her? After all, Lery was Joshen's friend. And it was her fault he was dead. She took a strangled, gasping breath and then a sob finally tore free.
He stroked her hair. "That's it. Let it go."
She was crying too hard to make him understand. Another person taken from her. Another person made to suffer because of her. Would it ever stop?
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