Laf and I run as best we can carrying Carmilla on our backs. I'm not sure what they have planned but at this point I didn't care. I was hopeless and lost and running back to Laf's lab was a blur. I didn't even remember laying Carmilla down on Laf's table. Laf took some blood from me for some reason before kicking me out of the lab. I waited outside their lab door picking at my nails while pacing back and forward.
My nerves were shot. My eyes were still burning and the hole in my heart was only growing deeper.
Were they trying to save her? Was that even possible.
Tears threaten to fall.
I can't believe she's gone..
I continue pacing trying not to cry when I hear the door to Laf's lab open. I run to their side but they don't look happy.
"What did you d-do?" I ask with an uneasy voice. Part of me didn't want to know what happened behind that closed door. Another part of me had hope. Hope that reality wasn't ripping at my soul right before me. Hope that Carmilla would walk through that door behind Laf asking for a pack of blood or making a sarcastic remark about the heroic stereotype.
But it was just hope..
Laf sighs removing their blood stained gloves.
"I...I tried Laura."
"Can I see her." My eyes begin to fill with tears. They nod holding the door open for me.
I walk in and go straight to the table. Carmilla's lifeless body laying across it. Her resting face showing no sign of pain or life. I sit in the chair beside the table and place my hands over hers. I burry my head in our hands crying.
Come on Carmilla. Squeeze my hand.
It had been hours since she was killed. There was no sign or possibility of getting her back that I knew of. I clung to her lifeless body as if I was protecting her from the world when in reality... she died protecting me..
I feel a cold hand on my shoulder.
"What exactly did you think you could accomplish by bringing her here Laf?" I say trying my best to keep my voice calm and steady.
They walk around the table and lift Carmilla's shirt a bit revealing some stitches they made over her wound.
"That book.. I um. I ran back here and read through it frantically while you and the dean were busy arguing." They sigh putting Carmilla's shirt back down. "It said if I found the light in the darkness, it had enough power to do absolutely anything. Open the gates, save Carmilla, heck, even take over the world." Laf scratches the back of their neck.
"It was supposed to work!" They slam their fist down on the book hard. I jump at the sudden noise.
"Laf." I place my hand on theirs giving them a small but very sad smile.
"I-I'm sorry. It's just.." they frown. "If it was perr... I'd be going nuts. Researching, stitching her up. Going to the ends of the earth if it meant saving her." They look down at Carmilla's still face. "I know you feel just as much for her as I do for Perr. So I did what I could.. finding the stone wasn't hard. The riddle obviously meant it was hidden in the old observatory. But the ritual." Laf flips to the page in the book. "Waving the stone over her body reciting these words.. they should have worked" they hit their fist against their head again in frustration.
"Laf. Please don't beat yourself up over this.. you tried." I rub my thumb across Carmilla's cold hand. "She loved me. I know that now. She lived for me.. and she.." I gulp. "She died for me.." I stand and give Carmilla's forehead a soft kiss feeling my tears beginning to fall again. "I love her. And I know she would have wanted this. She would have wanted me to stay safe. She didn't deserve this. She deserved better. I'm to blame-"
"Laur-"
"Please. Don't try to comfort me Laf." I place my forehead against Carmilla's, closing my eyes and kissing her cheek.
"I.." I feel my body go weak. I need to leave here.. "I can't see her like this any longer." I run my thumb against her cheek. "Cover her up Laf. I-I've got somewhere I need to go.." I wipe my tears and kiss Carmilla's cold lips one last time. I slowly let her hand go and walk out of the lab without saying another word to Laf.
Laf's POV:
I begin covering Carmilla's body with a sheet of fabric.
Poor Laura.
I did all I could to bring her back. I tried. Had Perry been here I know she would have kissed my temple softly to calm my nerves. She always did when I was stressed.
I begin throwing all of my used supplies away.
I missed Perr. Laura missed Carmilla.
The frustration of not being able to save her for Laura's happiness was enough to make me angry. I'm Lafontaine. I was able to do anything! I slam my fists against the table in anger and the table moves frantically knocking over a tube of Laura's blood onto the book.
Damn it.
I race to clean it up before it spilt on the floor.
Huh?
- - - - - - -
Laura's POV:
I walk through the woods with my arms tightly wrapped around myself. I remembered this path a little too well. Once I reach the view I was looking for I place my hands out in front of me as Carmilla did and walk forward. Once my hands hit a cold invisible surface before me I locate the giant rock. I trace the numbers 1698 into the rock and the cabin appears before my eyes. It's new and untouched appearance was the same as I last remember it.
I walk inside feeling the memories begin to hit my heart right where it hurt. The place looked exactly as we left it. Nothing out of place. Except now it was emptier. It no longer had the beautiful warm presence of my girlfriend. It felt no more like home than my empty dorm did.
Walking down the halls I place my hands against the wall remembering all too easily the last time I had touched this hallway wall.
"Stop teasing Carm. You don't intimidate me." I laugh at her trying to intimidate me after a very heated game of chess, which I clearly cheated on because there was no way to win. She was trying to get me to admit it.
"Oh?" she raises her eyebrow. "Is that so?" She begins walking towards me as I step back feeling the hallway wall hit lightly against my back stopping me from moving. She gets in front of me leaving only an inch of distance between us.
"Y-yes" I say cursing my stutter for being so obvious. She sends me a witty suggestive smile. I felt my back was beginning to melt into the wall as she slowly placed her hands on my waist running them up my sides in my shirt.
She leans her face close to mine but I turn my face the other way, not moving an inch from my spot. She moves her lips beside my ear and I can hear her breathing causing goosebumps to arise on my skin.
"Are you sure about that cupcake?" Her words were slow, allowing me to feel her hot breath on my ear and slightly on my neck. I gulp as her hands run back down my body to my hands.
"I um.." I turn my head back to face her. She licks her lips seductively causing my body to tense in frustration of how much she was teasing me.
She raises my arms up against the wall until they're over my head, lacing our fingers together she pins them tightly to the wall. She starts to place sweet little kisses on my collar bone causing my body to push forward to try and close the distance between us but she pulls her body back still pinning me against the wall.
"Y-You're not being fair." I pout. She smiles and kisses up my neck slowly then places kisses up my jawline.
"Who said anything about fair princess? I'm intimidating remember, gotta show you who's boss since you clearly cheated on that game." I roll my eyes at her words. "which also means.." She kisses and bites my neck softly causing me to squeeze her hands in pleasure. "I don't have to play fair either." She winks.
I couldn't take it.
"If I admit you're a little, and I mean A LITTLE, intimidating, and..." I bite my lip, "that I may have cheated a little, will you shut up and kiss me?" She pretends to consider it.
"Carmmm" I whine feeling my frustration build further.
"Alright" she smiles and let's my hands go. I place my arms down onto Carmilla's shoulders as she places her hands tightly on my waist pushing me against the wall and practically attacking my lips. I deepen the kiss as she runs her hands down to the back of my thighs picking me up and wrapping my legs around her. She pushes my back against the wall putting pressure on the area that felt it was going to burst. My lips part releasing a heavy breath with a small noise and she takes the opportunity to slide her tongue through my lips. The kiss deepens until I begin smiling into it. She smiles too trying not to break the kiss.
"You're perfect." She mumbles between my lips.
"You're mine" I mumble against hers and these words alone were enough for her to set me down and kiss me passionately.
"Race you to the room?" She says after breaking the kiss.
"Don't you dare cheat." I say kissing her neck.
She places her hand over her mouth acting shocked.
"Me? Use my speed to cheat? Never!"
I laugh nudging her shoulder.
"Loser is a top tonight!" I yell pushing her back gently and running up the stairs.
"Oh no you don't!" She runs after me keeping her promise not to cheat but still catching up to me. She wraps her arms around me from behund as we both burst out laughing while running to our room.
I sigh placing my forehead against the wall and closing my eyes as the memory replays over and over. Walking past the kitchen brought back the memory of the morning after. Our hair in a mess. The way her robe slightly hung off her shoulder revealing her soft beautiful skin. The smiles. The coffee. The breakfast. The love..
"I want you, forever." Carmilla says playing with my hand as my head layed gently across her bare chest. Our bodies entangled in each other and the sheets around us a mess.
"You'll have me forever." I say placing a kiss on her bare skin. I can practically hear her smile as she laces our fingers together and kisses the back of my hand.
"You're mine." She says in a soft, vulnerable, and fragile tone. As if she was giving me every single piece of her soul. Every flaw, every scar, every single piece of her.
"You're mine." I whisper to the empty spot beside me as I layed still staring at her untouched pillow in our bed. My tone was broken and hollow yet filled with all I had left of me. I close my eyes and let the tears fall into my pillow.
"Forever?" I hear Carmilla's voice so clearly, which I can only assume came from my mind, yet it almost sounded as if she were with me now.
I nod anyways to the tricks my mind was playing on me.
"Forever."
"If for any reason I'm not around or I can't be with you.. you can always find me here. Right here." Carmilla's words burn into my ears before my mind could even remember them. I keep my eyes shut focusing on her loud and clear voice. It sounded so close. So real.
"I meant it..
This was our secret Laura.
Somewhere only we know."
My eyes snap open.
- - - - - -
A/N: this was probably my favorite chapter to write.