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The way to Izzys apartment is quickly done, but he needs way more time to wait for someone to come out so that he can slip in.
When finally someone does, the guy tries to block Slash first, but Slash is small and quick and up the stairs in a few seconds, the guys "Hey kiddo! Where ya' think ya' running?" just barely audible as he reaches the right floor.
Now he's standing in front of Izzys apartment, leaned to the opposite wall, chewing on his thumb nail and asking himself what exactly he even wants to say. All he knows is that he needs to talk to him right now, so he knocks. There's surely no answer so he knocks again. "Axl? Axl!"
"Who the fuck is there?"
Slash leans against the wooden door with a smirk. "Your mother!"
"Slash?"
"Yeah!"
There's the sound of a lock chain moving, then Axl opens with a surprised look. "Whatya doing here?"
Why didn't you tell me?!- Slash immediately wants to ask, but he just doesn't dare. "Uh...visit?"
"How ya' even know I'm here?"
"Izzy told me..."
Axl looks away, playing with a hair tie at his left wrist. "Did he, yeah?"
"He told me you are crashing at his place for tonight and I wasn't in the mood for a bar."
"Yes same here."
He needs to ask. He needs to know. But he just can't, cause' it will cause' an argument and it's the last thing he wants with Axl smiling slightly at him now, his hair messed up from having laid on the couch, a can of Dr. Pepper in his hand.
"Axl...I...", a huff, "I thought...you wanna see, uh, a movie or something?"
Axl just looks at him with simply no reaction. "What?"
"To the cinema...ya' know...it's saturday..."
"Uh...what ya' plan to watch, man?"
"Poltergeist?"
"I really don't know, Slash...and I don't even have any money..."
"That's ok...I still have some left from the job at the record store."
"Well...ok..."
"Come on, man, we're going to have some fun. I really want to see that film!"
"Nah...I'm not too fond of shit like that. But whatever...I'm bored anyway."
"Awesome!"
"Let me get the keys, yeah?"
"Ok."
He keeps on standing there, wondering if he asked Axl out to watch a horror movie with a friend or for a fuckin' date, but in the end it doesn't even matter.
---
It's dark. Dark and cozy and there's a bottle of wine between his thighs and the film is fuckin' awesome. He watches Carol Anne staring at the TV screen, grinning at the somehow crappy horror effects that excite him more than they scare, but Axl beside him is looking above the screen and into a corner of the room, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Hey, Ax. Where ya' looking at?", he whispers, grinning, cause' he knows two things: Axl hates horror stuff. And he'd never admit that.
"At the fuckin' film, you idiot?"
"No, you're not. Ya' scared?"
"No. Shut up and watch.", but he jerks the moment there's someone screaming, making Slash laugh so loud, that some guy behind them shushes him, but Slash just gives him the finger over his shoulder.
"Gimme' that wine, ok?", Axl says, having a sip, then places the bottle in between them, his hands on his thighs now and it's when Slash realizes what he should do if that really was a date, if he wanted to show Axl how he felt, if he wanted be the one Axl could hold onto when he was afraid.
He places his hand at his thigh as well, his fingers just inches away from Axls. He can't even say what is going on on the screen, just his own breath, his own nervousness, the excitement, altough it is just a small touch.
He slowly, oh so slowly, moves his pinkie, reaching out, but not touching, until he does one last brave movement, his finger nudging against Axls. Both their hands jerk away, both of them blankly staring at the screen, but seeing nothing, their skin burning with the short, soft touch.
Slash dares to do it again and he curls his hand around Axls index finger, feeling his hand tremble. When he intertwines all their fingers, hidden in the darkness, Axl gives him a look, whispering "Seriously, Slash?", but his voice is weak, filled with emotions and he doesn't pull away.
The rest of the film is a blur. Sips of wine, sweaty, cold fingers glued together, but never seperating, Axls thumb stroking the back of his hand, hidden sighs, his heart beating way too fast.
When the film is over, they both just look at the closing credits, not wanting everything to end, not wanting to let go, but when the lights turn on, they surely have to, a quite glimpse of disappointment flickering in their eyes. They walk outside, buy another bottle of wine, walking through the streets, laughing, joking.
They kiss on an empty playground, sharing sips of sour tasting, cheap red wine between their lips, their tongues reddened, heavy and numb from the alcohol, everything sticky sweet like candy, burdened with want and restraint.
Axl tastes like a chance, a possibility that wasn't there before and it's a taste of emotion, so strong, Slash can't help, but tell him how beautiful he is.
Axl takes the compliment, blushing, answering with another kiss and when they're drunk, nothing matters anymore but the warm night air and the words they always mean, but never speak.
"Axl..."
"Yes?"
"I wanna' do something..."
"What?"
A smile. They trust.
"I want a belly piercing."
Axl laughs, slightly moving on the swinging tire, his sneakers scraping over the sandy ground. "What? Seriously?"
"Yeah, man."
Slash grins, pleased with himself, pleased with the idea and pleased with Axls amusement and just everything.
"You're underage."
"They will do it at the strip."
"Ya' think?"
"I'm sure."
"Really?"
"Really!"
"You're drunk! You're crazy!"
But Slash just takes his hand, pulling him up, and Axl grins as well now, still laughing, do far away from all the worries of the day.
The store is small and not really clean, they shake their head at him, but never ask, just place him at a chair and covering his belly in antisepticum.
Axl keeps on drinking and grinning, amusement written all over his face, when Slash slurs and tells everybody they are brothers, what no one believes or even cares for, but when they push the needle trough his skin Axl gives him a concerned look.
It doesn't even hurt much when they fumble the small silver ring in and even if it did he wouldn't show any signs, but it's the knowledge that Axl cares, that he is here with him, altough it's a stupid, drunken idea of a stupid weirdo.
Still Axl doesn't seem to judge.
They are outside pretty quick, a big plaster on Slashs bellybutton.
"Did it hurt, man?"
"No."
"I saw you grimacing!"
"Did ya' yeah?"
A smirk.
It starts to rain as they walk down Sunset Strip and further, rainwater soaking their clothes, wet hairstrands sticking to their faces and Axl watches single drops run down Slash buttom lip, lingering at his chin for a moment, then disappearing into his shirt.
Slash grins widely at him, looking all happy, so Axl grins back, then buries both hands into his pockets as he isn't trusting himself to not reach out and grab for Slashs warm hand again.
It's getting cold, dark, stormy even, but he doesn't want to go home yet, doesn't want to let go of the feeling that it could be perfect like that.
If he was just a little braver.
He's filled with nostalgia for things that never were when he looks at Slashs wet locks, the way he shakes them out of his face. It's a sad smile that's lingering on his lips, a feeling of being right about something that seems wrong.
But then there's nothing he can't do, nothing he can't be and tonight has been just the perfect night to try and be as brave as he should be.
Slash wraps an arm around his shoulders, shaking him playfully and Axl knows that he should tell him. That he left the only thing behind that stopped him from admitting. His last, his final excuse.
But he just leans his head against Slashs chest, letting the rain fall down on them and when they leave the crowded streets he really grabs for his hand again.
If he just were a little braver.
"It's getting cold...", Slash says, shivering slightly.
"Come here'...", Axl says, shivering as well, cause' yes, tonight, he tries to be brave for him and tonight all he wants is to give back what he received over all those months now.
He pulls Slash near, leaning against the next wall behind him, both arms around Slashs head in a try to warm him up. But it's still raining, warm, but heavily, and there's the scent of Slashs wet hair.
Fresh and sweet and rich.
He cups Slashs face in both hands, looking into his eyes with amazement, rain drops running all over his fingers, goosebumps on his arms with the slight, cool wind.
The asphalt is glistening, dull orange lights from the laterns, reflected in small puddles.
It's giving everything that unreal touch of eternity. Like there's nothing more to come. Like suddenly they live for now and just now.
"You are staring...", Slash whispers with a smile, but Axl doesn't look away.
"I know...cause' I still can't eat...", then he leans in, kissing Slashs eyes and his nose, his skin slippery from all the water and Slash just smiles, smiles and leans into his touch.
"Slash, we should go home..."
"Ok..."
"I want to sleep in your bed."
"Not at Izzy's couch?"
"No. With you."
"You always can, ya' know..."
"I know..."
Hot, flushed cheeks, cooled down by pleasantly cool gusts of wind as they walk home.
They fall asleep curled to each other, both in Slashs shirts, their wet clothes all over the floor.