The whole camp was silent when Lil woke up. There was a sense of deja vu when she felt Bellamy's arms around her, pressing her against his chest. The air and the metal she was laying on was freezing, but it felt like Bellamy's body radiated heat, and invaded hers.
She untangled herself from him and sat down, watching him. When he slept, it his frowns and his worries were all swept away. He snored lightly, his chest falling and rising slowly. She smiled softly at the innocence he had when he was asleep. She studied his freckles, that invaded his cheeks like the constellations he had told her so passionately about.
He smiled at her when he woke up. Not a cocky, teasing smile. A genuine, caring smile. He sat down next to her, and slung his arm around her shoulder, pushing her against him.
-I think this could become our thing." his voice was raspy from sleep, and incredibly sexy.
-What? Us sleeping in unusual places after I cry myself to sleep?" Bellamy laughed.
-Minus the cry yourself to sleep, and it's perfect."
-I'll try my best." They stayed in silence for a while more, not an awkward silence, a comfortable, "I enjoy your company" silence.
Bellamy was the first to break it.
-So you're not telling me why you were crying?" Lil shook her head.
-I just... No. Not now. I can't let myself be weak." he put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
-You're not weak, you're the strongest person I know. And if this is because you don't trust me, I'm sorry you don't, Im sorry I don't seem trustworthy." Lil took a deep breath.
-Bellamy it's not that. It's just, I hate crying. I hate being weak. It's not that I don't trust you, I don't trust myself either. I don't think I'm ready to admit it to myself."
-Admit what, Lil?" Bellamy looked so intent, looking into her eyes. He was trying to help her, and she was grateful for that, she was grateful for him.
-Admit what the hell is going on in my head.
***
Instead of having to think about what was going on in between her and Bellamy, and the battlefield in her head, Lil started working on the radio. Neither Monty nor Raven were awake yet, so she was alone.
She had been working for a few hours when she heard someone arrive behind her. She didn't turn around, worried that it would be Bellamy, with whom she didn't want to talk, in case they had to talk about this morning.
She finally turned around, and was greeted by Jasper. She was slightly surprised, they never really talked.
-Hey Lil" he spoke in a low voice, not wanting to interrupt her silent work.
-Hey." she smiled, she didn't know what to say, how to act around him, or why he was talking to her.
-I guess you're wondering why I'm here, I mean I'm kind of a loser." Lil laughed.
-This is loser central, Jasper. I'm number 1 Ark trash, nice to meet you." he grinned at her self depreciating joke "We're all criminals here, bottom of the Ark aristocracy scale, so don't feel like you're the only loser here" she grinned "No offense."
-None taken" Jasper smiled. "Anyway, I'm here because I never really got the chance to thank you for saving me. I mean we didn't really know each other, so yeah. It was cool of you."
-Wow, it feels like ages ago now!" she laughed. "But yeah don't sweat it. I was a badass bitch, and Bellamy and John were being annoying, I was there to kick their asses to get to you." Jasper laughed again and sat down next to her.
-You've been working on this for hours Lil, you need a break, you know, breathe actual air, be an actual human." she punched his shoulder jokingly.
-You can talk about being a normal human, when you put these goggles on, you look like a fly." Jasper pretended to be offended. "But you're right, I should get some fresh air. You going to buy me a drink?" She joked as they both stood up, leaving the drop ship.
They walked around camp, joking around and laughing. Jasper was so sweet, it made her forget her problems, she was glad to have saved him, and sad that's she hadn't talked to him earlier.
The charm broke when Bellamy walked towards them, with a serious look on his face. He frowned even more when he saw her with Jasper. Lil was worried that he was going to want to talk to her privately, but it was worse.
-Have you seen Octavia?" his voice was frantic, his hair messy, as if he had ran his hand through it multiple times.
-No, why?" she turned around to Jasper, who's eyes had widened, and remembered how he had a little crush on the girl, and now probably very worried as well.
-She isn't here, and I didn't see her around yesterday night either. It's been 12 hours." He looked worried, vulnerable. Lil put a reassuring hand on his arm.
-Relax, Bell, I'll go look around the forest, you stay here to see if she comes back." he shook his head.
-And risk you getting killed by Grounders? No way, we're all going." he turned around, and made his voice loud for everyone to hear. "Everyone gather around! My sister's been out there for 12 hours, and we're going to go find her." He dumped a bag at his feet, that collided with the ground in a clatter of metal and wood. Weapons. "So arm up, we're not leaving without her."
***
LIL POV:
-Look!" a boy shouts, pointing his finger to the sky. We all turn around, trying to see what the boy is showing.
-It's beautiful" I can barely manage to talk, the view is breathtaking. Hundreds of meteors are illuminating the sky; my admiration is cut off by Raven, stepping behind me.
-They didn't see it. The flares didn't work." I'm suddenly aware of Bellamy's presence beside me, his body slightly touching mine.
-And a meteor shower tells you that?"
-That's not a meteor shower, its a funeral. Hundreds of bodies being
returned to Earth."
I feel like I'm going to be sick, 300 innocent people lost their lives today. How many of them were children? Sacrificed by the Ark. How many of them were working class people? Probably all of them, the Ark would always spare the powerful.
I feel Bellamy grab my hand. Probably for his reassurance rather than mine. It's his fault the radio is broken.
-This is what it looks from the other side." Clarke continues, but I don't care anymore. I'm trying to figure out what to think. They're dead because of Bellamy, he threw the radio away, but he couldn't have known what consequences a simple radio would have created.
-This is all because of you!" Raven's shout interrupts the silent grieving the camp was in.
-I helped you find the radio!" Bellamy answers indignantly.
- After you jacked it from my pod and trashed it!" Raven's face has molded into a fury, she reaches to push him, but I stop her, pushing her back.
-Don't." I growl. I don't know why I have this sudden urge to protect him, he probably doesn't need my help anyway, but it felt natural. Raven gives me a questioning look.
-He knows what he did." Clarke gently takes Raven by the shoulders, distancing her from Bellamy. The blond then stares back at Bellamy. "Now he has to live with it."
-All I know is that my sister is out there, and I'm going to find her." With that, he turned his heels, and walked outside.
I follow quickly, not wanting to explain myself to Raven, I'll try to push back that conversation as well. Like I always do.
I walk alone for a while, before being joined by Finn.
-You went full on tigress on Raven earlier." he grins. I can't help but smile, remembering how agressive I had been.
-He was already feeling bad about it being his fault, I don't think he needed Raven pushing him around." Finn pinches my side, which makes me squeal.
-Does Grumpy have a little crush?" I hit his shoulder, and Finn laughs, making Bellamy turn around. It's true, I realise. that when he looks at me, my heart jumps and I want his arms around me. Finn notices that I had stopped walking, and pokes my sides again. Bellamy looks at us darkly, before turning his back to us. "He doesn't like me talking to you." Finn whispers. "I'm a threat. I mean look at me, handsomest guy around." I scoff.
-You wish Spacewalker, I'm the obvious threat to anyone here. Your girls should get worried." I flip her hair behind my shoulder to emphasize that I was only joking.
-Hey! Over there!" a boy had found something, and soon, Jasper, Bellamy, Finn, a few others and I were down a hill, tracking Octavia, or at least what they thought was her blood that had been found on a rock, still fresh.
I gulp difficulty upon seeing Octavia's blood. She didn't deserve to be hurt, I couldn't bare to imagine her in pain.
Bellamy seems to be taking the situation painfully as well. His face is stone cold, as he always is when he has to be the leader, but his eyes say a whole different story. I didn't know if I was the only one to notice.
-We're gonna find her." I step towards Bellamy. "Bell I promise we're going to find her." He nods gratefully, once again taking my hand and squeezing it.
I wonder, if that too, was going to become our "thing".
I left him to help Finn with the tracking, I aced Earth Skills after all, I knew something about it.
We soon come to a wooded area, it seems normal in the beginning, but that was before I notice the skeletons hanging around with spears and knives in their chest and other body parts.
I take a step back in fright, colliding in Bellamy's chest, who steadies me and places his hands on my shoulders.
-I don't speak Grounder." Finn turns around to us, "but I'm pretty sure this means keep out."
I can't help but smile even in the hostile environment, at Finn's words.
-This is crazy, no way I'm going here." a boy states, I hear a few others muttering in agreement, they seem to be waiting for Bellamy's blessing though. They can't disobey their leader after all.
-Do what you want. My sister, my responsibility." he nods towards the group of people, he then turns his head to me. "Lil, you should leave too, you can't get hurt. I can't have you get hurt, not because of me." I take a step forward. I'm not leaving them.
-Like hell I'm leaving, you need me, and if you or Finn got hurt, I would never forgive myself. And anyway, Octavia needs my help." Bellamy smiles lightly, his worries not enabling him to do much more.
My grip on my knife tightens, ready to throw it any second. With less people around, the woods are becoming even more threatening.
I stay in front of everyone with Finn, acting like a body guard. While he's tracking, I'm looking around for anything that might hurt him, or Bellamy.
***
It had seemed like hours when Finn finally admitted that he had lost Octavia's tracks. She had vanished into thin air.
-Keep looking." Bellamy's jaw was firmly set, he wasn't coming back until he had found his sister.
-Look Bell," she walked towards him, placing a hand on his arm. "Wandering around a forest we don't know isn't going to find Octavia. We should backtrack."
-Lil, no. I'm not going back." The girl shook her head, but was interrupted by one of the girls that had come with them.
-Hey, where's John?" A young man in the group asked. As if on cue, the body of a young man, John, probably dropped to the ground right next to Lil, his throat was neatly slit open, his eyes glassy. He was dead. Lil froze.
-They use the trees!" Finn's voice snapped her out of her trance. She grabbed her bow and her arrows, aiming them at the trees, trying to catch any motion.
-There!" Jasper screamed. He was pointing at something in the bushes. A grounder. It moved at incredible speed, Lil didn't even have enough time to direct her arrows at it that it was already gone.
She felt Bellamy's hand wrap around her wrist dragging her with him when he started running, he only shouted to the others to follow later.
-We need to run!" She heard the others footsteps accelerating behind her. They ran until they were all out of breath, and ran more.
They finally arrived into an open space. Everywhere Lil looked, she saw a Grounder. The group skidded to a stop.
-They know where she is." Bellamy growled angrily. Lil shook her head.
-Even if they did, Bell, they'll capture us or kill us before. They chased us here so they could surround us. We're dead meat. Maybe I can run, make a distraction, and you guys escape, I'm a fast runner." Bellamy almost laughed at her recklessness.
-You're fast, but they're faster. I need you here."
-Diggs! Where are you?" the girl from earlier shouted.
-Roma!" the scream was coming from further away, and the girl launched towards where she had heard it. Lil followed, the girl didn't seem like a fighter, she needed protection.
-Lil! What are you doing? Come back!" Bellamy was screaming her name, she heard Finn's voice too. Ignoring them, she rushed to join Roma, but the girl had stopped, a boy, probably Diggs, was speared to a tree, a trickle of blood ran down his chin.
Lil stopped, this was the second dead body she saw today. The girl next to her was screaming and crying, and Lil understood her pain, Roma had lost 2 people today, but right now, they had to defend themselves, they had to run. She grabbed her arm, and made Roma crouch behind her, but the girl escaped and ran away.
As soon as Roma stood up, Lil saw the girl double up, and slowly, she took her hands away, revealing an arrow stuck to her stomach. Before Lil could say anything, Roma took it out, dooming herself.
Lil screamed, it was too much for her. As usual, she had promised herself she would protect someone, and failed. As soon as the scream left her mouth, she heard another, coming from Bellamy's mouth.
-Lil!" he shouted, she saw him erupting from a tree. As soon as their eyes met, his face softened, and he rushed towards her, engulfing her in a hug. "I thought you were dead, I heard you scream. Oh my God..." Lil hugged back as fiercely, but a girl made them pull away, they had to fight.
-You okay?" Finn had also caught up, she nodded weakly, she didn't feel like talking. The boy was obviously as terrified as her. "They can kill us whenever they want." he whispered.
-Then they should get it over with!" Jasper was red, and Lil remembered he had already suffered at the hands of the Grounders, he was probably terrified as well.
Suddenly, a loud horn blew, startling them.
-Is this a war horn?" she asked. Finn turned to her, eyes wild.
-This is a warning, acid fog. We need to hide. Now." Lil had no idea where they were going to hide. She looked around for a cave, but found none. Her heart starting beating faster. She was going to die like Atom.
-Lil! Hurry up!" she turned around and had never been so grateful to see a tent. She rushed in it, mushed in between Bellamy and Finn.
-You okay?" it was Bellamy, he was whispering, so it only seemed normal to whisper back.
-Roma... I told myself I would protect her, and she died. It always happens. I'm so sick of it." She felt sad, but she had no tears in her eyes, maybe she had no more, Earth had been a very painful and teary experience after all. She felt Bellamy's hands cup her face.
-Nothing that happened is your fault. You're not responsible of anyone's deaths, okay? Now settle in, we have a few hours to wait." Lil smiled, allowing herself to relax.
-I don't think the fog is happening guys." It was Jasper, he still looked terrified, but determined. He wanted revenge. Before she could say anything, he had opened the tent flap, and he was right. The mustard, poison fog wasn't there.
-Either it lasted a few minutes, or it was a false alarm." Lil looked around. "At least the Grounders are gone." But she spoke to fast. Behind the bushes was one, as if he was trying to catch their attention. As soon as she noticed she had seen him, he started running.
-Follow him!" Bellamy ordered. "He probably knows where my sister is!" The group started running after the lone Grounder.
How the tables had turned...
The Grounder had led them to a wooded forest. Lil grabbed her weapon,
now positive that it was a trap, he had led them to where all the Grounders were waiting for them, but she was wrong.
She could hear Octavia's voice, and immediately, Bellamy started thrashing around the area, trying to find the entrance to the Grounders lair.
He finally found it, and the group entered the cave. Octavia was standing up, with the Grounder at her feet, a log
in her hands. Bellamy rushed to her, making sure she was okay. Apart from a cut to the head, she was fine.
Lil crouched down and put her hands on the Grounder's neck, checking for a pulse. His veins were pulsing under her fingers. He was alive.
-He's not dead, let's just leave him here. I don't think he wanted to hurt her, or us. He took us to her, we need to return the favor. Let's just let him wake up in his own, he'll know we didn't kill him and won't come for revenge." She saw Bellamy walk towards her, knife in hand. His face dark, his eyes set and determined. She hated that side of Bellamy.
-He's not going to wake up." That's when hell broke loose. The Grounder opened his eyes, and stabbed something in Lil's neck. She screamed more of shock then pain, it was just a slight prick. She tried to stand up, but she felt sluggish, her body wasn't answering her brain anymore. She heard her name shouted, but didn't answer. When she turned her head, she saw Finn on the ground, with a huge knife in his side.
She didn't even cry, unable to comprehend what was going on. She felt something thud on the ground next to her, the face was blurry and unfamiliar, with a cut and a tattoo on its head, the last thing she saw, before she drifted into oblivion.