*Flashback*
I was wrong when I assumed Craig would stay away for good.
Things have only gotten so much worse. Josh and I don't talk anymore, I can't bring myself to talk to my parents.
They love me and keep trying to get in contact, but I still feel that they are disappointed in me for dropping out of college, and I don't know how they would react if I told them I never planned to go back, or have a family, or if I told them what Craig has been doing.
I heard Craig leave my apartment.
Now I can stop pretending to be asleep.
I tried to easily pull my body up from my bed, but my legs and back ached, I couldn't stop shaking.
It'll be okay, just take a shower, wash him from your skin.
I walked into the bathroom and pulled off my shirt, my ribs and back shot pain through my body and I tried not to cry.
I saw bruises on my shoulders, and didn't even try to see how bruised my back was.
I slowly pulled my pants off, trying to be gentle.
I couldn't help but cry out a little, but I finally got them off.
Every step I took was almost unbearable, as it always is the morning after.
I got into the shower and turned it on, letting my body sink to the bottom of the shower.
When I was younger I had aspirations, dreams for myself that I swore to accomplish.
I wanted to be in a band, to be an idol to someone. I wanted to be a doctor, a teacher, a zoologist.
Now I'm just a bookstore employee with no friends, and someone who violates me a few times a week.
I am nothing I wanted to be, how do I forgive myself for that?
How do I recover from this?
Can I recover from this?
The first thing I can do to help myself, is to get away from him.
Perhaps I'm the reason I'm so far gone.
Would therapy help?
I pulled my knees to my chest.
Will the pain ever truly end?
How will it end?
*End is Flashback*
(Vic's POV)
I listened to the philosophical conservation Kellin was having with Alex about the galaxy or something of the sort, he compared it to a human mind.
Jack stared blankly after awhile of having a lost, yet confused expression.
I'm glad they wanted to hang out with me, I've had a really nice night but it's almost time to go.
Kellin let me stop by to feed my fish and I got a few more things from my house, we both decided that it would be best for me to stay at his house for a few days until my court dates are over.
He's being so nice to me.
I feel bad for breaking down on him, even I didn't expect myself to do that, I hardy remember it and I can't believe I did that.
I don't want to kill myself, I just don't know why I acted the way I did.
It scares me.
I could feel the cut on my wrist, I was really going to do it.
Why?
I was overwhelmed after coming home and being alone for the first time in awhile.
I saw the pictures of him in my room, I saw everything that he had anything to do with in there and I felt like I was burning.
I could see it and hear it all over again and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't live in a world where my head was just as much of an enemy as anything else.
Even now, my chest burns and my stomach flips every time I relate anything to it.
I can't help it most of the time.
How will I make it in court?
I feel a lot better now, I've eaten and slept well, I feel a little more normal today.
I've felt better than I have in a long time.
I don't know why sleeping in the bed with Kellin helped me sleep, it was the only way I could get to sleep and I knew that.
He makes me feel safe.
I know he won't hurt me, even when I flinch at touching him or if his voice surprises me, I know he would never hurt me the way Craig did.
I felt safe in bed with him, of course he had a pretty big bed and we weren't touching, but just being that close with him helped me.
I think I've made a life long best friend, I'm excited to see where our friendship goes.
I know things will never be as easy as they were before Craig started to hurt me, but they can only get better from here, right?
Craig isn't here to hurt me anymore and I'm safe, I have new friends who really care about me.
I'm safe.
I'm okay.
I'm going to get better, my story doesn't end here.
I felt like crying looking at the boys in front of me that have already impacted my life so much.
"Okay, I know you have to go soon so you can get back home, but we have one more thing we want to discuss" Jack said as he noticed that Kellin and Alex were done talking about stuff that was too deep for him.
I sat up, giving them my full attention, Kellin tilted his head in a cute manner.
Alex and Jack smiled at each other, beaming.
I generally get nervous when anyone says they need to talk about something with me, it always makes me feel like the news is bad; but now I don't.
The two boys smiled before Alex started to talk.
"Vic, would you like to be one of our groomsmen?" He asked, making it sound like a tremendous honor.
It was an honor, it was amazing.
I felt like crying, I felt like crying because I'm happy.
I'm happy.
I'm so happy.
I couldn't stop myself from crying now, I felt the tears rush to my eyes and all I could do was make sure it didn't end in a gross sob.
Alex looked to Jack with a nervous expression like 'what did I do wrong? Is this supposed to happen?'
Kellin looked at me with a worried expression.
"I-I would love to" I cried, watching Alex's nervous expression melt into a smile.
Both Alex and Jack got up and attacked me in a hug, pushing Kellin into me with them.
It's been so long since I've felt so much love.
This is where I want to be forever.
—-–
"What?" I asked, surprised at what Kellin just told me.
"I just called the repairman, but he said it'll be about two hours because he's fixing up someone else right now" Kellin sighed "shit"
"What's wrong with it?" I asked, hoping he wasn't too angry.
"Just something with the engine, something I can't fix" Kellin said, closing the door and leaning his head on the seat.
"Where even are we?" He said after a few minutes, looking around.
A sudden realization crossed his face.
"My birth Mom took me here before, there used to be a part down there in the woods that was cleared for a playground or something but they never actually put it together. She took me down there to just get away one day" Kellin looked somewhat sad but at the same time he looked like he had an idea.
"Do you want to go down there?" I asked him, making him smile.
"Do you? I have blankets in the trunk" he said gently, a smile widened on his face.
Who carries blankets around?
I nodded and he instantly got popped the trunk and opened the door.
It was a warm night, almost perfect.
I looked up to notice that the stars were bright and beautiful, in my apartment they don't shine like that because there's a lot of buildings downtown.
This is the perfect night.
"I would call Jack and Alex but they had a little too much wine" Kellin laughed.
We stayed longer than we expected to after Jack and Alex asked me to be their groomsmen, Kellin didn't drink because he was about to drive and I didn't drink because I don't drink.
I followed Kellin, he walked down a gently sloping bank and followed a trail.
It looked like it was a break in a hiking trail for some sort of park.
The trees were cleared out in one area, leaving the perfect circle in the middle so we could see the stars.
The stars are absolutely stunning.
Kellin set up the blanket and we sat on it, talking for a long time about random things and stars and eventually Kellin got back into the topic he was talking with Alex about earlier.
"People are amazing, brilliant. It's like there's a unique galaxy in everyone's head. They're all made up of different colors and shapes and planets with different features" he raved on, making me smile.
"You are brilliant" I started, watching his eyes land on me.
"So are you. I'm lucky to have the honor to know you" he bragged, I couldn't help my slight blush.
"But really, I'm lucky. Without you or Alex or Jack, I wouldn't be here" things were getting deeper than I intended but for the first time in a long time, I felt like that was okay.
"Can I tell you something?" I asked him.
I'm about to pour my heart out.
"Of course" he said, looking a little more serious.
"When Craig was trying to- when he was trying to kill me I was going to let him. If anything, I wanted him to" I felt myself getting emotional.
"But when he stabbed me and I knew I was going to die, I thought about how that would be the way my story ended" I kept on.
"And part of me was glad that my story was finally going to end" I only cried a little as I spoke the last part.
"But what really got me was that when I thought of you, I didn't want to die anymore. Thinking of you made me want to live and grow older. It made me want to make my story end differently"
I spoke my final words and I noticed him crying too, we're like teenage girls.
"You came into my life and I don't think I've ever been so grateful for anything. You've given me so much, you've made me see the world so much differently"
We both cried more, he looked happy and yet unsure.
Did I do something wrong?
"Vic, you mean so much to me. I couldn't ever put that into words. I have to tell you something" Kellin cried, his breathing getting quicker.
I felt nervous, my stomach felt like it was twisting around itself, I felt like the stars were cascading around us.
What is it?
Is it bad? Did he change his mind about letting me stay? Does he not want to be my therapist anymore?
Kellin looked like he was having a panic attack, he got a little closer to me.
I could feel my heart beating, I could hear it in my ears.
"I don't want to scare you, or weird you out" he cried, closing his eyes tight for a moment before opening them.
He was having a panic attack, I concluded. I put my hand on his shoulder for a moment to see if it helped.
"I'm in love with you" he cried, pulling his hand up to his face, tugging at his hair nervously.
Tears streamed down his face as he cried harder.
He loves me?
I felt my breath get caught in my throat as I made the split second decision to lean forward, and press my lips to his.
Sequel coming soon.