Letting go of your painful past is how you open yourself to a wonderful future.
Bryant. H. McGill.
The tremor circulating one human's mind when they finally make up their mind to reveal the deadly secrets of their life is such disastrous that it makes their entire body numb and devoid of any emotion. Udit couldn't deny the fact that he wasn't trembling with fear and insecurities in that moment, but he also can't comprehend whether it was rightful decision or not, but in that moment when Karishma kept her assuring hand on his, he knew that he could trust the first girl he had ever talked to in his entire childhood.
"Before you start talking, can I know why you chose today for revealing everything, but most of all why me, not someone else?" She put forth her confusions moulding them perfectly in words which might not irk him.
"Because inspite of my all efforts, there is something in you, which doesn't let you move away from my life, and I just know that I can trust you with all my secrets without making a fool out of myself."
Tears of happiness stung her eyes, as she felt the feeling of trust in his words. She knew what he was about to reveal her was more than heartbreaking, but the thought that he trusts her with himself, was enough to make her smile. Her wait, her dedication, her prayers were finally being paid off, and she couldn't help but to shed few tears of contentment.
He sighed deeply knowing fully well that, she was happy with his words. He stood up on his feet, and walking to the window of his room, he opened it, to let the cool breeze in. He sighed deeply and she waited for him to start, with a heavy heart.
"Like you knew I wanted to be a cardiologist, it was not just my dream but my passion to help people to live their life and for that I worked day and night in my senior year. I wanted a scholarship to study abroad and my hardwork was paid off, when I was selected in Canada". He started with a small smile reliving the happiness that he had felt on being selected in a foreign country.
She too smiled feeling his smile through his words, and he continued, "But my father wasn't pleased, so we're my relatives because they thought that once I go abroad, I will change. I will forget my values and morals and would become a rogue forgetting all my ambitions. Only if I knew that getting into an argument, with my father for this reason would cost me my entire life, then I wouldn't have been stubborn to go there".
Tears stung his eyes as the hurtful looks of his father played in his mind once again and how broken his mother has been, when in his anger he had blurted that, he no longer wanted to talk to them anymore if they were going to be controlling parents. From that day his guilt never subsidized but it only increased ten folds more with each day.
"I won in my stubbornness, but it became my biggest nightmare". His voice became heavy, venomous and rageful. His eyes held the look of mock fury and agony as he remembered those who were the reason behind his this state.
"In university, I met Raul and his group of four guys, one of whom was my roommate too. Since I was new there, they became my friends. I was hesitant at first, but they were so shrewd and manipulative, that I got trapped in their friendship like a rat gets trapped in the net, when he is lured by the cheese". He stated devoid of any emotion now.
Karishma flinched at his hateful tone, unable to utter a word or even make a slightest of sound.
"I considered them my well wishers but that was my biggest mistake. Inside, they were jealous assholes who were not able to tackle the attention every teacher and student used to give me because of my activeness and intelligence of mind, but see my fate, I was too blind to even see all these things. They only wanted me for my notes, but when that also wasn't helping them to reach upto my level then.....,"He replayed the most hurting flashback of his life as his tears of agony made their way out.
"What did they do?" Karishma managed to ask in a broken voice unable to, even hold up her tears. Hearing half way only was breaking her into pieces, and she didn't knew, how much more he had suffered?
It was night when Udit was trying to study and he heard some noises from outside. Curious he made his way out of the room, to see Raul, and his friends, exchanging some papers amongst them.
"Raul, what are you doing?" They got startled seeing him and as he slowly began approaching them, they started sweating profusely.
He was confused with their state. Udit knew something was not right otherwise they won't grip the papers so tightly in their hands. And as he was nearer to them, he saw the official seal of the university on the brown pack that was thrown away in a corner.
Realization dawn on him that they have leaked the upcoming exam papers from the campus office. He stated at them in disgust.
"You guys have leaked the papers. Are you crazy?" Udit yelled infuriated at the five males who glared at him now for ruining their work.
"So what should we do, always lag behind you whilst you get all the attention as if you are some king!" Raul spat. Jealousy and hatred was lurking in his tone, which made Udit feel nauseous. He worked hard to achieve that state, but he never wanted his friends to lag behind.
"See, I understand that you all feel people give me more attention, but this is not the way to achieve success. Think about the other students, who are working hard too to fufill their dreams. It will be wrong if you all will use these tactics to come first". Udit tried to make them see some sense, but when jealousy, greed and hatred enters one person's mind, then nothing make sense.
"Stop giving us lectures and go do your work, or else consequences won't be good for you!" Another guy Shawn, who was Udit's roommate warned and it was enough for Udit's temper to flare.
"I won't let you all play with so many students life. I am going to the authorities now, and I will tell them what you people are doing". Udit turned to leave, but just when he took the third step, he felt a sharp pain on his head as something hard hit him.
Holding his head, he turned around with stumbling feet, to see Raul holding a metallic stick in his hand whilst rest of them gave him a victorious look.
"You want to become a hero once again, now I will show you what being a villain is!" Raul challenged with pure venomous feelings lacing in his words. His friends held a half conscious Udit, in their hold and from the back side of the hostel, they dragged him out to some cottage which was in the nearby forest area.
Once reaching the cottage, they threw him on the floor, and started beating him with hockey sticks, until his whole body was injured and he was thrown in unconsciousness.
"Now live here and die, until we don't get the place we want". Udit heard Raul's angry voice as he felt him injecting something, in his arm but he was too weak to even lift his finger up, forget about trying to get rid of them.
For a month, they beat him to the pulp, injected drugs in his body. His throat was parched whilst his body needed food, but those heartless monsters loved making him suffer.
They gave false statements to the authorities that he left the college on the pretext of exam phobia, and even damaged every single document of Udit, which could help them to trace his family in India to inquire about him.
If people say that having power is beneficial then it proved right in their matter, because being sons of powerful father's helped them to ruin an innocent souls life by ruining not just his body, but his image in the entire university too.
They forgot that one can't attain success even if they cheat, and the same happened with them. They didn't passed with their over confidence, and the excessive alcohol they took in, which didn't helped them to remember things. They made a joke out of themselves and when the girls started to compare them with Udit once again, it made them more avengeful.
It drove them to the edge of the madness, that they drank themselves so much to even forget what they were about to do.
They reached the cottage that night to see a weak Udit, lying on the floor shivering with his legs and feet tied with ropes.
"You have some strength man that you are still alive!" Raul spoke stumbling towards him as his friends laughed. Udit opened his eyes slowly, to see their blood shot red eyes.
He had not given up yet even after being tortured so much, but he didn't even have the energy to fight, afterall his body was working only on the little food they gave him twice a week.
"Leave..me...how many more days you are going to hold me captive?"
They started laughing seeing him stuttering on his tongue. And wearing the gloves Raul took out the Giant Hogweed plant from his back pack making Udit's eyes go wide in disbelief.
"You know what it is, right?" He laughed with mock present in his words. Udit started to move back even though his entire body was aching. He knew what that plant was capable of. He can't let them ruin his life like that.
"I thought let's give a good climax to you. Since the day you came here, my peace is destroyed into shreds. Nothing is going the way I want it to go. Everyone only remembers you inspite of you being a total nerd, so let's end it here only. Because of you seeing us, I have to become a monster, now let's take that thing only away so that I will live with peace knowing that you won't be completing your dream just like I won't get to complete mine". Raul said coming dangerously close to him.
"No, please....
"I beg you, don't do this".
"I will go away from here but leave me, please....
"Please for God's sake, leave me....
His words went in deaf ears as two of them held his hands, and the other two held his feet, whilst Raul hovered over him, with the Giant Hogweed in his hand. Udit tried to push him away with all his strength but it was of no use.
Raul extracted the juice of the plant in his eyes, forcefully all the while laughing like a beast whilst Udit cried helplessly not knowing how to save himself from their monstrous acts.
"Noooooooooooo," he cried in agony as they left him on the ground whimpering in pain. Once again they kicked him on the stomach making him groan in pain, while they laughed mercilessly.
"In next forty eight hours, you will be rid of us as well as your eyes. Till then Sayonara!"
With this they left, and like they said, they came after two days, and taking his unconscious body out, they threw him on the middle of the deserted road in the mid and walked away, like nothing happened.
As the muddy water started to go into his mouth, Udit Opened his eyes, but to his utter shock, everything was dark, extremely dark. The plant had did it's work leaving him in the dark shell.
He tried to stand up on his feet, crying hysterically in pain and quivering due to cold.
"Help me, please help me," he slowly crawled on the road crying not knowing where he was going.
"Mom. Dad. Please help me". He whimpered slowly as tears made their way out from his lifeless eyes now which were stinging with Irritation since more than forty eight hours now.
A rock was kept ahead on the road, where he was crawling slowly and steadily, crying restlessly with pain and agony, and then as he neared it, due to the effect of sudden collision, he hit his head making him hiss loudly, "Ahhhhhhhhhh!"
"Ahh!" Karishma gasped in shock covering her mouth with her palm, as she felt a thud sound.
"Udit!!" She cried and immediately forgetting everything she dashed towards him, who was now leaning on the floor, heart broken and vulnerable reliving those days once again which destroyed his living being.
"Udit!" Karishma sat down beside him, and as she kept her hand on his bicep, he turned around and threw herself in her arms, as they both cried uncontrollably holding each other tightly.
"What was my fault? Tell me? Why am I forced to live like this?" He sobbed and she massaged his scalp not knowing what to do, other than to hold him to herself like his life dependent on it.
"How did you came back?"
"In the morning, someone saw me in my own blood and they took me to hospital. For two weeks I was hospitalized and that man, was kind enough to pay my bills, and arrange my ticket for India. He called dad and he came to receive me at the Delhi airport." He answered shivering with fear.
"He was shocked and broken, and mom literally broke down seeing me like this. Till date, I can never bring Myself to tell them, what happened there. I just told them that, it happened due to accident because I can't handle if they remind me that it's my stubbornness that cost me my life". He added tightening his hold on her, and she too held him, not letting him go.
"I don't hate Ranveer, I hate the way he behaves because it reminds me of Raul's initial facade. I am scared that he will come out to be another Raul, and ruin us more than we are already ruined." He broke down parting from her, face palming himself.
She slowly moved her hands towards him, and removing it from his face, she hugged him tightly, and kept on mumbling, "You are the most strongest man I have ever met Udit".
He wound his arms Around her waist tightly, and holding each other, they cried for the common pain, the heartbreak, and the sufferings they underwent through as the moonlight kept on flashing it's blessings on them.
The only way to forget the past is to cry it all out, because tears can be more relieving than words at times, isn't it so?
I have no words to say once again today. I am throwback to the time, where Raisha and Shaurya talked their past and I was out of words. It's same today.
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