Janet
Friday morning, 9:28 a.m. The first thought that crossed my mind was:
Shit, that was really nice.
Making love to Wissam last night was a re-awakening, rejuvenating experience. It was after my first climax that I realized just what made me fall in love with him in the first place: his passion, the way he knows exactly what I like, where I like it, and when I want it; the way his deep, husky moans rang in my ear long after they'd been sounded, the way he said 'I love you' as I immersed myself into his chest when we were done. He was like listening to a great song for the first time in a long time. Or a favorite pair of jeans. He was strong, passionate, and masculine. Deeper than lust, some unspoken, established connection we kind of just always had. My body was still on fire.
To think I was so afraid that I wouldn't want him anymore. That I had built up a tolerance. He was still mine. Still satisfying. Still enough. Just Familiar.
I wanted to hold him and never let him go. I was mad at myself for thinking I would ever stop loving him, and all of him. For thinking I could just pick and choose the parts of him I would keep, and the others I could do without. None of it was optional. All of him was necessary to my existence. He knew that.
He wasn't in bed when I turned around, which kind of disappointed me. I wanted to get lost in his brown eyes once again. I wanted to hear his voice first thing in the morning, so rugged and sexual. I had taken him for granted so much, and I just needed to fill the void that opened within me once he left. I was completely attached this time.
"Janet, baby," he tip-toed into our room, afraid I might still be asleep. I smiled.
"Good morning, Wissam." I sat up in the bed and stretched. He leaned down next to me and gingerly kissed my forehead.
"Will you come and join me for breakfast, my love?" He held my hands in his tightly.
"Can we eat it up here? I just want to lay with you." I asked. His face brightened.
"Yes, we can eat it up here."
"I can have Maria bring it up-"
"No, it's okay. I'll get it. You stay."
Wissam disappeared back downstairs. I took that time to freshen up a little and check my phone. I had a couple texts from Toni, and it dawned on me that this was the first time in nearly 3 weeks that I hadn't thought about her. I didn't know if it was a good or a bad thing-- it was more confusing than anything else that my feelings were shifting so much between her and Wissam. It seemed about as predictable as the future. But I didn't even bother responding as not to ruin the rush of feelings I was getting from him. I didn't want any distractions.
"Okay, here we are." Wissam set the tray of food on my lap. "A meal fit for a queen, my queen."
"Thank you. You're not going to eat?"
"No, I'm fine. I had my coffee already."
"That's not breakfast, Wissam." I gave him a side-eye glance while he crawled back into bed.
"I'll be okay. I'll eat just as soon as you finish."
I paused and smiled just before I was going to put the fork in my mouth. He grinned back and scooted closer, taking the fork from me and opting to feed me instead.
"And I wasn't thinking, I should have brought you some pineapple juice instead of orange."
"You are so silly."
"You think I'm playing?"
"I mean, unless you're about to go and get some-"
My phone rang on the nightstand. I kind of just looked at it for a while, not planning on answering it until Wissam told me to at least see who it was. Who was trying to ruin my beautiful morning with my man?
I should have figured that it was Toni, probably wanting me to relay every detail of last night. If only she'd waited just a little longer, I'd have twice as much to tell her.
"Hello, Toni." I answered.
"Janet Jackson, I'm almost surprised you answered."
"I am too. I only did because Wissam told me to."
"He got you that whipped already? Damn. That dick must have been good."
My mouth hung wide open. She was so bold.
"Toni, we're going to have to talk later, I'm sorry."
"I'll schedule a chiropractor for you as soon as he is done breaking your back, honey."
"Yes, yes, do that." I rushed her off. I didn't need Wissam getting any ideas. "I'll call you. Promise."
"Mhm. Bye, Janet Jackson."
I quickly ended the call, only to see Wissam wasn't even in the bed anymore.
"Janet," he called. I turned around, and there he was in the doorway with a glass of pale, yellow liquid. Pineapple juice. He held it up with a proud smile.
"I got some."
Toni
I hung up the phone and immediately felt a sinking emptiness in realizing something that I'd been trying to avoid for nearly a month.
She wasn't mine. Not really.
Sure, Janet was my best friend, and we had the occasional steamy rendezvous, but there was still something else missing, not in me, but in her. That part of her, maybe a majority of her, that still was in inside of Wissam. I wanted her to be in love with me the way that I had finally accepted I was in love with her. But if she wasn't, there was no way I could keep doing this to myself. I'd have to accept that it was fun while it lasted.
But I wanted someone to be mine, and only mine. It was so interesting; my life was just fine before Janet came back into it. I never felt like I needed someone until I felt her. She was causing all these problems for me, but I missed her so much. And now that she's here, it's hard for me to be without her.
The thought of it all made silent tears streak my cheeks. I was a mess. Why did I feel so lost now? How did she do this to me? I could feel myself crying myself to sleep as I wondered how I was going to stop being so obsessed. It was only going to get worse as time passed.
************************************
"Open the door," Janet's soft voice seeped through my bedroom walls and gently awoke me from my sleep. How did she get inside? I honestly didn't care. I was just happy to hear her voice.
I opened my door, revealing Janet in all of her glory. "Hey, how did you-"
"Shut up. Just, shut up." She pushed me back and kicked the door closed, letting herself in as she pulled me against her body forcefully. Our chests collided with a thud. "I left him. It's over."
"You what-"
"Toni, let me do all the talking."
I stayed silent while she unzipped my hoodie.
"I wanted you so bad, it's not even funny. It hurts sometimes."
Next was my shirt, pulled over my head and thrown to the floor. I was still as I let her undress me.
"Oh, wait. What am I doing?" She stopped everything she was doing to take a deep breath before diving in for a passionate kiss on my lips. It felt so good. "I want you to be mine. No one else's. Okay?" She nodded her head as she spoke slowly and looked me in my eyes. I just nodded my head back.
"Say yes, Toni. I want to hear you say it. Say you will."
"I will." The words croaked from my throat. Had she not told me what she wanted me to say, I would have been speechless. She smiled and hugged my body, kissing the skin on my shoulder.
"Good. And now that it's out of the way," Janet practically threw me on the bed, "I want to make love to you. All night. No stopping. No exceptions."
I watched her take her clothes off in front of me, our eyes locked with each other the whole time. I would never get tired of her body; there was just something about her exact shape that made my mind wander every time I saw her.
She crawled into bed as soon as she was finished and on top of me. "I am going promise that you will not feel your legs in the morning, and I'm not going to be sorry at all."
Janet reached down and touched my womanhood gently. "And there is no guarantee that we will stay in here, either. You've got a lot of rooms, Toni."
I licked my lips out of anxiety. I was afraid of what she would really do to me, but ready to feel the way that she always made me feel.
"Whatever you want, Jan." I trembled as she caressed me.
"Ms. Jackson."