The common room freaks me out when it's empty. It's too eerie. When all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing, it freaks me out even more. In a horror movie, you would be screaming at me to 'get out of the damn room', since the murderer is obviously hiding behind the chair with a deadly wand or something. 'Cause hey, it's Hogwarts.
Okay. I better stop now. That would never happen.
It's as safe as anything here. That's what they tell us anyway. My parents believe that I'm safer here than when I'm not and I trust their judgement.
Only on certain things.
Other times… as if.
The big ugly clock tells me it's past one in the morning. It's funny how time goes by when you're doing absolutely nothing. I've been sitting here for quite a while. The last people shifted away and went to sleep ages ago, leaving me to share the common room with my thoughts.
I'd rather share it with people right now to be honest.
I couldn't stop thinking. I closed my eyes and tried to make my mind empty but a thought managed to swim to the surface and bother me.
Regulus. My first. My first love, relationship, heartbreak. I don't know why I feel so hurt that it's over. Then again, I knew it wouldn't last; we both did. Regulus was going to become a Death Eater from the beginning. Still, I'd always hoped he would master the courage to defy, break free, unleash the chains. I wish he was strong. I'm not saying he's weak, he's just not strong. He can't fight the urge for power.
Power.
I mean power.
It just wouldn't last. We had no chance. I knew this from the first time he kissed me and even the first time he left me. Fate danced our relationship off a cliff.
Was letting him go the right choice? Was I meant to fight? Was it even possible to let him go?
I wasn't so sure.
I tried to forget him before and couldn't manage it. I sealed the wounds, only to have them sliced open again.
Typical.
Just Typical. Think you're over a guy, then he sends you a sentence and you jump back into everything you tried to forget.
Hi, I'm Nellie and I'm a fool.
The fire crackled, almost like it was hissing at me. I wondered if this meant I had to chuck a log on it but I didn't know if it was controlled by magic or not.
Most things here are controlled by magic.
Plus, there are no logs around to chuck on it.
I heard the portrait door swing open and the Marauders entered, talking amongst themselves and laughing carelessly.
"Hello Nellie," James gave a tiny wave when he saw me.
"Hello," I returned the wave.
I scanned them all and noticed something; Sirius Black was glaring at me.
His eyes were fiery and full of anger. Something was stirring inside that boy. He held my gaze and I refused to let go because I'm really good at this game. I was a champion when I was younger. I could go without blinking for ages… that is until I start watching T.V. and then I start blinking rapidly. I'm aware of it but completely unable to control it.
"What is the matter with…" I began.
"Nellie?" I was forced to tear my eyes away, but mark my words Sirius Black, this is not over!
I looked around and to my surprise it was Lily Evans.
"Yeah?"I gave one last glance to Sirius before turning to Lily.
"Izzie has been complaining about men, the colour pink, photo frames and dishcloths for the past five hours. What would you normally do?"
"Hit her in the ribs." I replied almost immediately. Lily looked a little scared. "Or if you don't want to take the violent route…tell her to shut up. Or just mention that she shares a characteristic with someone from Hogwarts that she isn't a fan of... she'll instantly get offended and shut up as she ponders it for a while. Izzie doesn't like most people so you've got lots of choices." I shrugged.
"Wow." Lily pursed her lips.
"She's a complicated fellow."
I rolled off my seat and landed on the floor with a little thud. Sirius sniggered.
"I'm off to bed." I gave a little wave. "Oh, Black, this isn't over." I muttered before leaving. His frown turned into confusion, making me chuckle.
Lily caught up with me. "What isn't over?" She inquired, politely of course, but I could tell she wondered.
"Our staring contest, of course." I said, as we made it up to our dormitories.
"Oh. So that's what I interrupted. Seemed like something else." She gave a smile, before going to her bed.
I frowned. What was that supposed to mean?
It was a harmless staring contest.
Wasn't it?
"…I hate the colour pink…yellow is better." Izzie rambled on and on. "Bananas are evil…why can't dishcloths be round?"
"Izzie, shut up."
It worked. I grinned and gathered up my rally truckdriver pyjamas. Yeah, I got them from the boy's section in a shop. I didn't want handbags. Handbags were nowhere near as cool as rally trucks. She rolled her eyes at me before mouthing 'tell all tomorrow'. I nodded and got changed.
I slipped under the crisp cold blankets. For all the thoughts trapped in my mind, I managed to fall to sleep faster than a kettle boils.
Something is poking my kneecap.
Rather hard.
It hurts.
"Nellie. Wake up." Izzie ordered.
So bossy.
"No." I mumbled before tossing over and pulling the pillow over my head to drown out Izzie's terrible singing which was about to come.
"There was a girl called Nellie,
And she was rather smelly,
With her blonde hair that always looked like it needed washing,
She's not even that dashing."
Izzie isn't the best poet. She tries though. This must have been song twelve thousand by now.
She can't sing either.
It doesn't stop her from trying.
It sounds like a penguin being chased by a lion.
"You've got to tell me about last night!" Izzie tugs on my quilt.
"Izzie. We're not in a musical." I grumble, pulling my quilt away from Izzie.
"Let's all wear our bling bing, cause you know, it gives off a better impression
when you're weighed down with your shiny possessions." She randomly told me.
"Please stop Izzie." I pleaded. She was really hurting my ears. I felt a headache forming.
"Get the hell up." She paused for a moment, looking at me, "Oh look there Nellie, I can see your underwear."
I groaned as I toppled out of bed. I held up my hands in defeat. "There! I'm up." Izzie smirked. "Now shut up."
"You look like a state." She picked up a towel, "Here's a towel." She chucked it at me. I caught it.
"Now go and get washed. We have got things to discuss."
Hey, at least she didn't rhyme this time.
I looked at the clock. It was in the shape of washing up liquid.
I groaned at the time.
Five thirty.
I'm going to kill her. I'm surprised she hasn't woken up any of the other girls.
Then again, Izzie once hit Lily accidentally with a ball we were playing with and she still didn't wake. She just rolled over.
The girls in here sleep like logs.
Do logs even sleep?
Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, these girls are heavy sleepers.
I got washed and changed and pulled out of the castle, so we could go and hang out by the lake.
With scarfs and gloves, of course.
'Cause it's cold and I don't want the frost to bite me with its teeth. It sounds painful.
I began explaining what had happened last night. "He's become a Death Eater,Izzie!"
"You knew he would." Izzie replied, softly hugging me.
"I always hoped he wouldn't." I mumbled.
"I know Nellie. I know." She soothed.
"He just wasn't willing!" I bitterly admitted. "He didn't care about me at all."
"Nellie. As much as I hate Black for the way he treated you, even I can't deny that he loved you as much as he did. He just wants everything. You and his life. In the end, his life was more important than you. Which is stupid because you're adorable." She looked at me. "You'll always be my number one."
I smiled. "Then I had a staring contest with Sirius."
"You sure he wasn't glaring at you?"
"I don't think so?"
Izzie sighed. "Nellie, you're so silly sometimes."
I grinned. "I know."
"Least you admit it."
I tapped her on the head.
"Nellie, let's go and get some breakfast." Izzie stood up, pulling me with her."I'm hungry."
"Yeah, I'm hungry too."
"What's new?" Izzie asked, smirking.
"Erm…" I was searching for an answer. I hadn't got any new things lately, so I couldn't use them.
Izzie sighed. "Never mind, Nellie. You don't get much, do you?"
"What didn't I get?"
Izzie rolled her eyes, "That's the point." She linked her arm with mine as we walked to the Great Hall to get breakfast.
The most important meal of the day apparently. But I think all meals are important.
You've got to eat, man.
To survive and to grow taller.
I've always wanted to be taller.
When the Marauders shared my detention, I felt like a shrimp.
Even though they have got a different anatomy than me. I'm still jealous.
Damn them.
Stupid sausage rolls.
I was piling up my plate when Sirius Black came in with the rest of his cronies. He chose to sit next to me.
Perhaps he wants to restart our staring contest.
I'm ready to beat him when he's ready to lose.
"O'Neill, what did you mean that it wasn't over yesterday?" he asked rather stiffly. It seemed foreign. Sirius was always the aloof, cheery one, despite his dark roots. I stared at him for a moment. He seemed tense like there was something he was angry about.
"Our staring contest, of course." I answered, not looking away from him.
Sirius shook his head and sighed. "That's what you thought it was about?" He sighed again. "You really are dense, Nellie." He got up and walked away, leaving his perfect breakfast untouched.
…so I stole a piece of toast off his plate.
Things that aren't yours always seem better. Before I knew it, I'd eaten his breakfast and mine.
It was yummy in case you were wondering.
Soon that damn bell went off. Ordering us to get to classes. Stupid bell. You'd think that Hogwarts would have magical things to tell us to get to classes. Like gnomes or something. But no, we've got a bell!
Gnomes would be cool; they'd have gnome sticks and poke us in the ankles if we walked too slowly.
Ah, I could just imagine it!
The first class of the day was Defence Against the Dark Arts with good old Professor Dinglebat. I sat in my normal seat by Izzie.
"Welcome, class!" He was grinning madly. There was something insane about Dinglebat.
He seemed to be going batty.
No pun intended.
"We'll be having partners and practising our defensive magic."
Woo.
That means I'm screwed.
Izzie knows a variety of violent spells. She's dangerous with her wand. She is dangerous with her fists. In fact, Izzie is just dangerous.
Believe me, I know. This should be a fun lesson.
…well it wasn't.
All of Izzie's spells hit me. She had to undo every single one of them. She knows my dodging tricks too well.
I couldn't go around looking like a monster, could I?
Well, not more than I do usually.
Classes had finished. Finally. I seem to get more essays every day, which is more work for me as I have to correct the little bits on Izzie's when she gets all muddled up. She's not the only one muddled; I didn't get half of what I was supposed to be learning as of lately. Not like the Marauders and Lily. They were answering all the questions, as usual.
I needed a break. After dinner, I decided to go for a walk. The sky was clear when I looked at it but it wouldn't stay that way for long.
Izzie decided not to join me. Instead, she decided to be boring and get started on her essays. 'Anyways, Nellie, it looks like it's going to rain'. I just rolled my eyes and asked since when did she become a seer. She retorted in pushing me over. I knew then, I'd have to share my own company because after Izzie my options become limited.
The choice being… no one.
Or I could take Fire Whiskey out.
No. He's probably sleeping and he's really grumpy if I wake him up from his twenty-three hours of sleep. Yeah, he's a tiny bit lazy. That's why he's not a hit with the ladies; he just has no time for them. He'll peck my toes off or something if I wake him up early.
Guess it's just me.
I walked around. A bit of here, there and everywhere. Even though 'everywhere' was confined to the Hogwarts grounds.
Then it started to rain. Not just a little bit of rain…it was too much rain. One where you think 'okay sky, that's enough, I don't need this. It's too much'. The sort of rain if you think you stay in it too long, you may drown.
I watched the people run back into Hogwarts, going in to get warm so they didn't catch a cold.
It was probably the smartest idea to go back in.
But I've never been the smartest person.
So I stayed.
I walked around, my hair clumped together. If I wore make up, it would have been smudged. My uniform was dripping. My fingers had gone numb. My nose could beat Rudolph easily and I was freezing.
It felt great.
It was like a bath that you didn't have to prepare for yourself.
A cold bath, but it was free. Not that we paid for baths here, because that's just cheap.
I walked through the wet grounds, knees covered in mud, when I saw someone just as cold as me. He had little bits of mud in his hair and goose bumps covered his skin. I watched as Sirius wiped his nose with his sleeve. His fingers looked red raw. It didn't matter. He could still manage to snag my heart without even trying.
It was also odd. I don't think I'd ever seen him alone.
"Sirius." I greeted, teeth chattering.
"Nellie." He nodded.
I sat down on the ground and invited him to join me. He looked himself up and down, before shrugging his shoulders and sitting down in the mud.
"Might as well get dirtier. Eh?" Sirius let out a small bark like laugh.
"We're not exactly clean anyway." I started a picture in the mud. "You okay?"
"Of course." Sirius replied too quickly for my liking. "Yourself?"
"I'm pretty chipper." I smiled as I drew a flower.
"Can I join in?"
"Sirius, I don't own the mud," I laughed, "Of course you can join in."
Sirius took out his finger and drew grass underneath my flower.
"Thanks." I smiled. "What you doing out here?" Sirius drew a sun and a few clouds in the sky while I drew a few people.
"I find it peaceful. Nobody's usually out when it's raining."
I realized that although Sirius ticked the box of being attractive, it was his personality that was the most remarkable. Sirius was a charmer. For him, it was like breathing; he did it without thinking. Something pulled people towards him, like a force of gravity. He must sometimes get tired of pushing them away.
He let out a small breath. "You?"
"It's a free bath."
Sirius laughed for quite a while at that. It was a sweet sound. A couple of days ago I wouldn't have dreamed that Sirius Black had such a crap sense of humour. That boy laughs at most things I say. "You're cheap, Nellie."
"I'm not. I'm expensive." I pouted, like a fish but that didn't matter when I looked like a drowned rat as my mother would say.
"Oh really?"
"Yeah."
"How much do you cost?"
"A knut." I pondered that for a moment. "Crap! I meant a gallon!"
Sirius let out a small snigger.
"Sirius" I started as I grinned at him "Let me do something."
"Huh?" Sirius looked at me, confused.
I said nothing, put some dirt on my finger and ran a line across his cheek. Then I did the same with the other one.
Sirius got some dirt on his finger and made two lines on my cheeks.
"We're army dudes now."
"Aren't they green or brown? Something along the lines of that. You know, to camouflage."
"I don't know. I've never been in the army." I sneezed.
"We better go back. You're catching a cold." Sirius let out a small sneeze.
"Looks like you're catching a cold too." I grinned.
"Looks like I am." He grinned back before heading back to the castle.
I took one last glance at our picture, but it was already gone. I sighed and went to catch up with Sirius.
I couldn't see him.
Wow, that boy walks fast.
I felt the mud dripping down my cheeks and smiled. I got a free mud mask too.
…To Be Continued